CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ABBY LEAPED OFF Tynan’s bed and raced downstairs, not caring that she was in her stockinged feet and could feel the prickle of cold stone against her heels as she crossed from the kitchen into the storage room where her brother lay dying.
Tynan was by her side, steadfastly determined to protect her from whatever was about to befall her. She loved this wonderful man, this wickedly handsome earl. She loved him so deeply. That he’d remained by her side throughout this turbulent week was a miracle. She didn’t quite understand why he was doing all this for her. Perhaps he felt some misguided affection for her as well. He certainly couldn’t love her. Not even a saint would have stuck by her side throughout this unrelentingly miserable ordeal. “Dr. Farthingale, what’s happened?”
At first, she couldn’t seem to breathe.
Then her breaths came so fast, she couldn’t seem to stop them until Tynan put a gentle hand on her shoulder, silently assuring her that she was not alone. She gave him a small nod of acknowledgment as she regained control of herself. Would he help her with the funeral arrangements? Would he stay by her side until her brother’s body was buried beside those of her parents and her brothers… she’d lost two of them at sea and their bodies had never been recovered.
Another unfinished Croft family matter.
“I didn’t mean to startle you by summoning you here,” the doctor said, bringing her thoughts back to the present. “Your brother is resting and stable. But he isn’t strong enough yet to make the trip to Falmouth. It must be postponed another week, perhaps two.” He rose and approached her. “I don’t know if this is a turning point for him. He’s fallen low enough into the slime that even he is repulsed by his behavior.”
Abby did not dare to get her hopes up. She’d been through disappointment too often to believe a word of what her brother said. “He’s sworn as much to me before. Then the craving strikes and he becomes a rabid beast.”
Dr. Farthingale regarded her sympathetically. “I know. It won’t be easy. But there’s a look in his eyes that I haven’t seen before. Shame. Regret. Whatever it is, I hope this will mark the first step in his long road to recovery.” He then turned to Tynan in expectation.
Abby wondered what the doctor wanted of Tynan. To remain by her side throughout Peter’s treatment? She still didn’t understand why he was by her side now, doing all of this for her.
Tynan squeezed her shoulder once again for reassurance. “I’ll provide whatever Miss Croft needs, Dr. Farthingale. Just tell us what to do and I’ll arrange it.”
“Thank you, Lord Westcliff.” He resumed his seat beside Peter. “I’ll watch him for the next few hours. As for the two of you, it’s obvious you’ve been up all night dealing with the mess Miss Croft’s brother created. Get some rest, Miss Croft. You’ll need all your strength and wits about you when dealing with your brother.”
“Doctor, please tell me the truth,” she said, her words breathless and shattered. “What are the chances of his ever regaining his health?”
He hesitated a long moment. “Slim, but not hopeless.”
But his hesitation said it all. It was hopeless. Dr. Farthingale simply didn’t have the heart to tell her so. “Thank you.”
She turned and slowly walked through the kitchen, up the back stairs to Tynan’s bedchamber. Tynan followed a few steps behind, giving her enough space so that he was not hovering over her, but still keeping her in his sight. Was he that worried about her? Did he think she would do something foolish?
Her mind was surprisingly clear.
She knew what she had to do next.
She walked into Tynan’s room and sat on his bed.
He followed her in and closed the door. Not only closed it, but latched it to keep everyone else out. Good. It saved her the bother of doing it herself. “Abby, we have to talk.”
She shook her head and laughed. “Oh, no. I’m through talking. I’m through worrying about others. I’m through sacrificing for others and getting kicked in the teeth for it.” She unrolled her stockings and tossed them over the footboard.
Tynan hadn’t noticed because he’d turned his back to her in order to add another log onto the dwindling fire. His eyes rounded in surprise when he turned to face her again and noticed that her legs were bare. “Are your stockings wet?” He scooped them off the footboard and put them to hang over the mantel, using pegs to hold them in place while they dried by the heat of the flames.
She began to fumble with the buttons of her gown.
Tynan groaned. “What are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m undressing. Shouldn’t one be undressed when one is setting about to lose one’s virginity?” Her hands were shaking. “Wretched buttons. Whoever invented these instruments of torture?”
Tynan was by her side in two strides, his hands over hers. “Stop, Abby. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
She met his gaze, and melted at the tenderness reflected in his beautiful green eyes. “I’m a woman of no means, about to lose the last of my family. You saw the doctor’s hesitation. There is no chance that Peter will heal. I will soon be alone in the world for the rest of my life. But I am also sitting here with the handsomest, wicked earl in England. So, if you think I’m going to pass up the opportunity for an unforgettable night of pleasure in your arms… well, it will be daytime soon. But, no matter. The point is, I would like to be loved by you. I would like to feel the warmth of your skin against my palms. I would like to feel the heat of your kisses on my lips and anywhere else you deem appropriate on my body.”
She was making a fool of herself.
He was looking at her aghast.
She didn’t care. “I won’t expect anything of you in return, of course.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I see. You only want me as your stud bull.”
Why was he being so difficult? “You know that you mean far more to me than that. I’d never give myself to anyone but you. Indeed, you mean everything to me. But the fact that I love you is my problem not yours. It doesn’t mean you owe me anything.”
She resumed fumbling with her buttons. “But I do have one request of you.”
He groaned lightly. “What is it?”
She cleared her throat and heat rose in her cheeks because she knew her request was highly improper. But everything she was doing now was improper, so why not add one more sin to the pile? “Before I leave this room… before you finish, you know…”
“Having my way with you?”
She cleared her throat again and nodded. “I’d like to find out what is so special about that peacock feather.”
He laughed heartily as he bent on one knee and began to fasten the buttons she’d just undone. She placed her hands on his to stop him, but he wasn’t taking the hint. “What are you doing? I’m trying to shed my clothes to give you unimpeded access to my body. It would please me immensely if you did the same with yours.”
He was still laughing. “No.”
“What?” She blinked her eyes.
“I said, no.”
His laughter faded and he now looked quite earnest. Impossibly serious. Oh, dear. What had she just done? “Oh, I see. You don’t want me.” It hadn’t occurred to her. But why should he want her when she paled in comparison to Society’s Incomparables?
“Not like this. I don’t want you like this.”
Her heart sank into her toes. “Of course, I should have known that I’m meager fare compared to… I understand that you’re not interested in me. Why would you want me after all I’ve put you through? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to impose myself on you. I just thought… you’re notorious… you take any woman into your bed, and I–”
He confused her by stopping her mouth with a deep and gentle kiss that wrapped itself around her heart and wouldn’t let go. She melted into a liquid pool of delight and was still melting by the time he ended the kiss. “I want you in my bed, Abby. Not just for one night.”
“You do?” She glanced out the window. “It’s almost daylight.”
His grin returned and it was appealingly wicked. “You’re missing my obvious point.”
“And that is?” Her eyes suddenly rounded in surprise. “You wish to make me your mistress?”
“Bollocks, you’re dense.” He groaned. “Apparently, I’m not as obvious as I thought. Look at me, Abby. I am on bended knee beside you. What would that indicate?”
She didn’t know. He was big, so he’d have to crouch down to be at her height in order to look her in the eyes. “My head’s in a muddle. I’m still tingling from your kiss. I can’t think at all. Help me out.”
He caressed her cheek. “I made a vow to Coventry that if I took you to my bed, I’d marry you.”
She gasped. “Oh, I am indeed dense! Is this the reason you won’t show me a night of pleasure? He made you promise to marry me if you did.”
“Quite so. But that’s why I’m asking you now, before you remove a single stitch of clothing. Before I remove mine. Before I take you in my arms and plunder your beautiful body. I want you to know that I’m asking you of my own free will. I want you to know that I am under no compulsion to offer for you, so when I say the words, they will come straight from my heart.”
“Words? From your heart?”
His grin remained enchantingly wicked. “Contrary to Society’s opinion, I do have one.”
She returned his smile with a glowing one of her own. “I know you do. It’s the best heart I’ve ever encountered. It’s the valiant heart of a gladiator. I love your heart.”
“Well, that’s promising.”
“And I love you.” She threw herself into his arms, almost toppling both of them.
“Abby!” He laughingly caught her and tightened his grasp to steady her. “This is what I love about you. You don’t hold back. You give all of yourself.” His expression turned tender. “And this wicked earl wants all of you.” He paused to settle her on his lap and give her another heartfelt kiss. When he drew away, he was no longer grinning but remarkably serious once more. “Abby, my love. I want to share the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
She was swallowed in his warm embrace, nestled against his magnificent body, her heart pounding so hard within her chest she could hardly breathe. Had she heard right? She pinched him.
He emitted a chuckle of surprise. “What did you do that for?”
Because he was a beautiful dream that had to come to an end. Isn’t that what always happened? The moonlit enchantment inevitably faded with the first light of dawn. “I need to be certain you’re real.”
He pinched her very lightly on the forearm. “Did you feel that?”
She nodded.
“We’re both real, Abby. I know this is all moving very fast for you. It is for me as well. In truth, I hardly know myself. But I do know that I love you.”
“You do? I love you, too.”
He smiled, obviously having more he wished to say to her. No doubt he believed more of an explanation was necessary. But it wasn’t. He loved her and nothing else mattered. She was glad he still held her, for her heart was soaring so high, she might have floated upward to the raftered ceiling.
He kissed her on the nose before continuing. “I was lost the moment I saw you standing beside my window in the moon’s soft glow. I had just rescued you and deposited you up here while trying to figure out what to do with you.” He ran his thumb in a caress across her lips. “I’ve figured it out now. I want you beside me for always. That will not change, no matter what challenges we’ll face going forward.”
Her smile faltered. “Oh, Tynan. My brother, of course. How can I burden you with the mess he’s created?”
He wrapped his arms more securely around her waist. “You’re asking the wrong question, my love.”
Her heart tugged at the husky lilt of his voice, and he’d called her my love as though he meant it. “What should I ask?”
“The right question is, how can I not stand beside the woman I love when she’s so burdened? I know you would keep fighting for Peter all on your own. You’ve done an incredible job so far and no one could have done better. But you no longer have to fight alone. You have me. You have all of me. Now, will you answer my question?”
His lips were so close to hers, she did the only thing she could think of and kissed him fiercely. “Yes, my love. Yes, I will marry you, my wonderful Tynan. You’re the noblest wicked earl I’ve ever met.” She kissed him again, loving the warmth of his mouth on hers and the solid strength of his body as he drew her up against his muscled chest. “This is where I want to be. In the arms of the gladiator who saved me in more ways than one.”
She waited for him to begin unfastening her buttons.
His gaze was hot and smoldering as he settled her on the bed and deftly removed her gown. He set it aside, but instead of removing her chemise next, he unpinned her hair and then tucked her under the covers. “Stay right there. Get some rest, for you shall have none when I return.”
“When you return?” She drew the sheet up around her as she abruptly sat up. “Where are you going?”
He bent forward to kiss her possessively on the lips. “This is serious business, Abby. I need your brother’s permission to marry you. I don’t know who will have guardianship of you if… if he doesn’t make it, so there’s no time to waste. I also have to obtain the special license. Coventry will help me expedite it. Do you mind? Our wedding will be rushed.”
She had no one but Peter left in the world. She had no pretensions about her situation. “Will your family be present for it?”
“Not if you don’t want them.” He winced. “Although I doubt I’ll ever hear the end of it from my mother and aunts.”
She laughed softly, her eyes agleam. “You mistake me meaning. I want them there. They’re the closest thing to family I have. I can’t wait to be able to claim them as my own. In truth, I wanted to hold on to them so tightly from the moment I met them.”
She paused a moment, trying not to turn sloppily sentimental and weepy. “I prayed for them, Tynan… I prayed so hard that they would like me.” She took a deep, ragged breath. “I was so tired of being alone. But despite my desperation, I knew that not just any family would do. I wanted a big, loving family. And then you introduced me to yours and they were perfect.”
“Ah, don’t tell them that.” He cast her a boyish grin. “They’ll never let me hear the end of it.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ve been given you and your family. I think you must pinch me again. This is more than a dream come true for me. This is a miracle, even more so because it isn’t Christmas yet and everyone knows the best miracles happen then. We’re only a few months off, so I suppose it counts. Yes, I want you. I want all of you.”
“My family already loves you far better than they’ll ever love me. They think I’m a debauched and arrogant ass.”
She cupped his cheek in her palm, the bristles of his growth of beard prickling her skin. “No, you’re my valiant earl. There’s so much we still have to work out. There’s Falmouth and Peter’s recovery… assuming he…” She shook her head to dismiss those worries. “I’m so happy, Tynan. Do whatever you must… and one more thing.”
He kissed the palm of her hand. “What is it, my love?”
“Don’t forget the peacock feather.”