“What the fuck?”

My bike was on its side, like it had been purposely knocked over. Strange. The apartment next to mine was unoccupied, so no one should have been up here. The kids who lived downstairs must have been messing around.

I propped it back up, wedging it in front of the empty apartment so it wouldn’t fall over again, then went along my merry fucking way.

It had been a long day and an even longer night. I worked nine hours at the salon, trying to get in last-minute clients before I took an entire week off to do absolutely nothing, and then I babysat my cousin’s kid for three hours.

Cute kid. But no one tells you how exhausting it was chasing after a newly walking eleven-month-old. It was like he was determined to crash into every sharp corner and hard surface. You’d think babies would be born with more of a sense of self-preservation, but nah. They’re secure in the knowledge that they have their adults wrapped around their little chubby fingers. Hell, tonight I almost knocked myself out diving to save the baby from falling off a chair. And the little fucking cherub laughed.

Completely wrecked from my long-ass day, I took a quick shower, threw on a pair of sweatpants and collapsed into bed. I couldn’t wait to sleep in until noon tomorrow and then be lazy for the whole day.

Crash!

My eyes shot open. What the hell?

I could hear cursing and banging out on the landing. Shit. Scrambling out of bed, I ran to my door and swung it open.

I couldn’t quite believe what I saw: my bike on its side and a woman with a mass of wavy hair sprawled halfway underneath it. She kicked the tire, then cried out, clutching her knee.

Flying into action, I picked up the bike and shoved it behind me and then crouched next to the injured woman.

“Are you okay?”

“What does it look like? What kind of imbecile parks his bike in front of someone’s door?”

I stood. Oh shit, indeed.

“Uh, that was me. I didn’t know anyone had moved in. My bad.”

Her head jerked up and I finally caught a good look at her face. Her angry, adorable face.

“My bad? Are you kidding me? I could have broken a limb—I’m not convinced my shin isn’t fractured, by the way—and your response is ‘my bad’?”

I held my hand out to her. She stared at it with so much venom, I was surprised it didn’t spontaneously turn to ash.

“You can still be pissed at me, but let me help you up.”

She groaned—probably from both pain and annoyance—but she placed her hand in mine and I gently pulled her from the ground. Face to face she was even more adorable, and even angrier.

The freckles on her little round face were accented by the flame in her cheeks. Her hair was everywhere, and my fingers were twitching to get in there and style it for her, although I had a feeling the wildness suited her.

She bent down to look at her leg and hissed. “Shit, I’m bleeding everywhere and I don’t have any Band-Aids. And my favorite leggings are ruined.”

I glanced behind me at my open apartment. “I have Band-Aids. I’ll fix you up.”

She straightened and looked at me through narrowed eyes. “You expect me to go into your apartment? I don’t know anything about you other than you almost killed me.”

I chuckled. “It was involuntary manslaughter at most.” She did not seem to find the humor. “Uh, I’ll leave the door open so you can make a run for it.”

“Fine. Just don’t get handsy.” She looked me up and down and appeared to find me lacking. “I’m not interested.”

I looked down at my bare torso, which I was pretty damn confident in, to check if I’d grown a third nipple or an overabundance of body hair and hadn’t realized it. Nope. Still the same almost-six-pack, an average amount of chest hair, and two mostly matching nipples.

“That’s unkind,” I said.

Her eyebrows shot up, but then her face relaxed and she bowed her head slightly. “You’re right. I’m in pain and taking it out on you.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” I turned to walk into my place to find the Band-Aids and from behind me I heard her mutter, “Of course, it’s your fault I’m in pain…”

I shrugged it off. I didn’t know this woman, so maybe she wasn’t normally like this. Or maybe she was a prickly asshole all the time. The fact was, she was my neighbor, and I wasn’t prepared to start a war, so I’d be kind even if she couldn’t, whatever the reason might be.

I pulled out one of the chairs at my dining room table. “Have a seat and I’ll go get something to clean you up.”

She sat down and I pulled another chair out so she could put her foot up. When she lifted her leg, I finally got a good look. A big chunk of her pants and quite possibly her skin looked like it had been torn off.

“Oh, wow,” I rasped.

“Doesn’t look good, huh?”

I shook my head.

“Imagine how it feels.”

I rubbed my face. “Damn, I’m really sorry. I’ll just...I’ll go get some stuff.”

Since I was prone to slicing my fingers while cooking—which was kind of ironic since I worked with sharp blades as a hairstylist every day—I kept a first aid kit in the kitchen.

“Do you have scissors?” she called.

“Yeah, just a sec.”

I gathered everything I could think of to fix her up, then carried it back out to the dining area.

She looked up with her hand held out. “Can I have the scissors? I think I need to cut my pant leg open so I can properly assess the damage.”

Once I’d set everything down and handed her the scissors, I kneeled in front of her to watch. Everything about her was round and soft, except her personality. I kind of dug it. Her eyes were brown, but I bet if she let me get closer, I’d see flecks of gold. At first I’d thought she was just cute, but now that I had the chance to really look at her, I saw she was very pretty. Her mouth was wide, her lips a pale rosy pink. I wondered what she looked like when she smiled. Did she do it with her whole face, or was her smile reserved? Considering how we began our acquaintance, I’d probably never see it, which was a damn shame.

“Oh man, this is gonna leave a mark.”

Pulling my eyes from her face, I looked down at her leg and immediately wished I hadn’t. Instead of running away screaming, I picked up the washcloth I’d brought out and handed it to her.

“Maybe if you clean up the blood, it won’t look so bad,” I said.

She dabbed at her leg. “There’s always hope. I’m Larissa, by the way.”

“Yo.”

Cocking her head, she frowned at me. “So, this is the part where normally, you’d tell me your name. Social norms and all that jazz.”

I grinned. This woman was entertaining. “Yo is my name. Short for Josef.”

“Do you spell it J-O?”

“No, it’s Y-O, like a yo-yo.”

She twisted her lips. “But, is Josef spelled with a Y?”

I shook my head. “Nope, a J. It’s pronounced the Hebrew way.”

“I’m familiar. But I don’t get the logic of the spelling.”

I held up my hands. “I don’t know what to tell you. It is what it is.”

“That’s going to bother me.”

She made me laugh with how seriously she seemed to be contemplating the matter. “Sorry my name bothers you!”

“Josef is perfectly nice. It’s the nickname I’m wary of.”

“I will try to do better in the future.” I glanced down at her leg. “Any better?”

Larissa lifted the washcloth. “Maybe. It’s still pretty gruesome though.”

“I’m assuming it’s too big for a Band-Aid?”

She rolled her eyes. “Uh, yeah.”

Opening the first aid kit, I said, “I’ve got gauze and tape. Should we try it?”

“Just let me sit here for a minute to catch my breath. On top of my gushing leg, my ass probably has a big bruise on it. I did not land gracefully.” She puffed out her cheeks, then blew a long, slow breath.

Before I thought it through, I asked, “Do you want me to look at it?”

I froze.

She blinked.

“Well, all right then, I’ll just be heading home now.”

She started to get up and I started to grab her arm, but she flinched just as I pulled back.

“Don’t go. I don’t actually want to look at your ass.” I mean, I wouldn’t turn her down, but I hadn’t been propositioning.

Her brows pinched. “Good. Even though my ass is exceptional, I don’t usually go showing it to men who attempt to murder me.”

I laughed. “Involuntary manslaughter. And I’m pretty confident the judge would throw out the case.”

She almost smiled. The corners of her mouth twitched and I thought I had her, but then they collapsed into a straight line. It was unfortunate; her mouth was made for smiling… and probably other things too. Not that I was thinking about that right now.

“Let’s try to bandage me up so I can hobble out of here,” she said.

“Want me to do it? I work with my hands and I’ve been told I have a gentle touch.” I wiggled my fingers in front of her.

She chewed on the corner of her lip for a beat. “Fine. I don’t really want to look at it anymore.”

I had no fucking idea what I was doing, but I figured it couldn’t be that hard. I wrapped mounds of gauze on her leg, covered by medical tape. By the time I was done, she basically had a full cast.

“All done. You’re as good as new...minus the ass,” I said.

She almost smiled again, but it was gone nearly as soon as it arrived.

“Thank you.”

“I really am sorry. I had no idea anyone had moved in.”

Her eyes met mine and my suspicions were confirmed: there was enough gold there that I felt rich just looking at them. She had what my mom would call bedroom eyes. The lids were heavy and sultry just about all the time. I knew she wasn’t directing the sultriness toward me, but still. I was affected.

“So that explains it,” she said.

“Yeah. I wasn’t actually trying to murder you.”

“That’s a relief. I’d hate to have to move so soon. It kinda blows.” She slowly lowered her leg, then pushed herself up to standing. She winced a little, but she stayed up. “Okay, I’m pretty sure I can make it back to my place.”

Following her toward the door, I asked, “Where were you headed this morning?”

She paused and turned to face me. “Oh, I was going to the grocery store. But I think I’ll just stay home and put my leg up. I’ll order takeout or something, no biggie.” Her eyes were drawn to my door frame and she traced a finger over the mezuzah that was hanging at an angle there. “Have a happy Hanukkah.”

Surprised, I said, “Oh. Yeah, you too.”

Tucking a wave behind her ear, she nodded determinedly, and limped across the hall. Before she disappeared, I got a good look at that “exceptional” ass she’d told me about, and the woman did not lie.

Well, shit, I might actually like having a new neighbor.