CHAPTER 13
Shazer, being bound to Vivica because she created him, gave us a perfect way to track her and possibly save the original elementals. Possibly. We’d at least be able to use it to find the first of her prey, and maybe whichever elemental it was would be able to help us find the others. That was if Talan didn’t catch up to us from one side, and Viv didn’t notice us coming in from the other. Yeah, not exactly what I’d call easy. But that didn’t matter. We at least had a starting point and an end goal.
Find Vivica, make sure she didn’t kill the original elementals, free said original elementals as fast as possible.
After several hours of flying, Shazer found an open field to land in. Oats waved in the breeze in front of us, and as soon as we landed Shazer bent his head and began to eat.
“At least I know why you landed here.” I patted him on the rump as I walked away from him. He flicked me with his tail but said nothing. Raven and I were side by side and I turned to him. “Talan taught you how to manage Spirit.”
“He did.” Raven nodded.
“And could you then teach me?”
“That was my plan all along. But Talan thought you might learn better from him.” He shook his head. “He didn’t confine me when I went to him to train before. He didn’t push me the way he is pushing you. I went to train with him once or twice a year, for a week or two. He’d give me things to work on, and then I’d go home.”
I arched an eyebrow at him, thinking that Talan could have made it seem like he’d been all helpful without confining Raven. “You sure about that?”
Raven laughed. “Yes, because I went back and checked all the memories. He didn’t hide himself from me like he did with you.”
“Why do you think that is?” I asked the question even though I knew there were more pressing things to deal with. I mean, saving the original elementals was no small task, especially going against Vivica. But there was a part of me that knew with Raven helping, we would have a chance. Maybe alone, we couldn’t take her down, but working together, I was mostly sure we’d be able to.
I shook my head at myself. Only a short time ago I’d been ready to kill Raven, and now I called him an ally once more. Life just couldn’t seem to be straightforward in my world.
“I think it’s simply the fact he knew I would come and learn from him if he asked. You, on the other hand, are something of a wild card. If you haven’t noticed.” Raven gave a soft smile. “I went along with Cassava and Talan’s plans for years before I realized it just wasn’t going to work. That everything they were doing would backfire on them the second you found out. Even Cassava was coming around to my way of thinking. But it was Talan we needed to convince, and I couldn’t.”
I wasn’t sure if I liked that Raven could read me so well. He sighed. “Anyway, I do think I can show you the ropes with Spirit. If you want, that is.”
That made me frown.
“Why wouldn’t I want to learn how to use Spirit?”
Raven made a face. “Tell me something, how come you think you’re stronger with your connection to Earth than any other elemental?”
“Because of Spirit,” I answered automatically because that was what I’d learned. Spirit boosted the power in the other elements that resided in an elemental. Raven shook his head.
“No. While I’m sure you can use it that way, it isn’t why you are so strong, or why you can do things no one else can. It’s because no one has ever set limits on you. No one has ever said ‘that’s not possible’ because you’ve always learned on your own. Even back there, you broke through a sleep spell on the Pegasus, that according to Talan was unbreakable. That’s what he told me. And I believed him.”
I frowned and mulled his words over. “Did you even try to break the spell?”
He laughed. “Yeah, several times. And you did it without even thinking. So, you see why I might be a little concerned about teaching you? What if it makes you think that what is possible is much smaller than it actually is for you?”
Raven had a good point. There had never been any formal training for me and my elemental abilities, I’d always just… done it on my own. “I still want to try and clear out my memories. And I want to learn how to block someone like Viv from using Spirit on me.”
His lips twisted. “I don’t know how to do that.” I noticed he didn’t say it wasn’t possible.
“But clearing out your memories, I do think that’s a good idea,” Raven went on. “But we can do it when we stop.”
“We are stopped,” Peta said. “If you hadn’t noticed.”
Her tone was clear as a silver bell. She didn’t like Raven, and that hadn’t changed even though he’d helped us get out of Talan’s way.
I turned. “Shazer, how long do you want to rest before we go on?”
“Give me an hour,” he said around a mouthful of oat stalks. “And then we can fly for ten or twelve.”
“Good enough.”
I thought about how I wanted to do this. The earth was my safety, my sanctuary. I went to my knees and let my body sink a little into the earth. The first thing I did, though, before diving into my memories was beckon the power of the earth up through my body. I let the sensation roll through me and ease my worry that Talan had somehow blocked me the way Cassava had in a more permanent sense. The ground shuddered and my knees sank another inch into the soft soil. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Raven went to one knee in front of me, his blue eyes intense. “Look for something that doesn’t resonate. That is the only thing I can say. For me, it’s like finding sharp rocks where there should only be sand. There will be a dissonance within your mind, and from what I know, that will be different for you than it is for me. Everyone has their own definition of discord.”
I nodded, then glanced at Peta. I didn’t have to ask her to watch out for me. She knew the trust between Raven and me was fragile at best. She trotted forward and sat in front of me. I closed my eyes and went back to the memory I knew was twisted, the only memory I knew for sure was cobbled together in bits and pieces.
The day my mother and little brother died.
My throat tightened with the idea of reliving those moments again, yet I knew it was necessary. Slowly, I sank my mind through my memories and past until I stood on the edge of the forest again, watching my younger self play hide-and-seek with my friend, Cactus.
There was a strange feeling to the memory. I focused on that first, recognizing it as not fitting with me.
A dissonance that bled through felt like ants on my skin, making me itch.
The colors around the memory were soft, and hazy like the lazy summer day it was. I let myself reach out and touch one of the leaves and the skin of it was smooth like satin. As if I truly stood there in the past and not watching the memory from afar. If not for the way my skin twitched, I would have not known this wasn’t real.
In front of me, young Cactus and I bantered back and forth and I heard us talking about what to do next. My gut clenched with what was coming, but I followed my younger self and friend through the forest toward the edge of the Rim. My footsteps left no print, and there was no sound as I walked, yet the closer I got to the clearing, the more the memory felt like reality.
Voices in the distance, my mother telling me to run even though she couldn’t possibly know I was there. I frowned as the memory went from soft and hazy to having sharp red lines striking through it. “Wait,” I whispered, and the memory froze. I made my feet walk forward to the place where Cassava and my mother faced off. The red lines of the memory cascaded around them, weaving them into a net that held them both tightly. My hands shook as I lifted them to the netting and I pulled it away piece by piece, my skin on fire.
Each breath I took shuddered as it slipped from me, and slowly the itching receded.
Cassava’s face was coated in tears, as was my mother’s. No anger, no rage, no hatred lingered in either of them.
Love and grief filled their eyes. They looked at each other as if they were sisters, friends. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t be seeing this. I knew all I had to say was one word to make things move forward, but I wasn’t sure I could do it. Wasn’t sure I was ready to see the truth. I steeled myself for whatever would come.
“Go,” I whispered and the scene picked up. My younger self lay on the ground at their feet, my blond hair sprawled out in a fan, my eyes closed. Cactus was beside me, and our chests rose and fell in a steady rhythm that was a deep sleep.
“Cassava, my friend,” my mother said softly, “you must do this. Vivica already suspects Lark is the one who will stop her, the one who will free the siblings. The only way to keep her safe is for you to become her enemy, to make her look weak in Vivica’s eyes. To hide her power.”
“Goddess, Ulani.” Cassava sobbed her name. “You are the only friend I have ever had and you would still ask this of me? We can hide you and the children. You can stay with Talan.”
“No.” Mother shook her head. “No, it cannot be that way. My death will protect my children far longer than if I stay here with them. Maybe long enough to keep Vivica at bay. As long as she believes you are under her thumb, as long as she believes you do as she wishes, she will hold back her anger and vengeance.”
Cassava was openly crying, tears streaking her face. “Ulani, there must be another way.”
My mother reached forward and pulled Cassava into her arms. “You are the only one I trust, Cass. You are the only one who has the strength to carry this burden.”
“You would leave your children alone,” Cassava said into her hair.
“I will die for them, willingly, and one day they will understand.” Mom’s voice finally broke and with her tears, I could not stop the flow of mine. “I will give Lark a memory that will allow her to hate you with a passion. She will never know that you will be the one fighting for her from the shadows. She cannot. She must grow and not know her own strength until it is time.”
The two women held onto each other for minutes, their foreheads pressed tightly together. “You will always be my best friend, Cass. The only friend I’ve ever had.”
Cassava turned away from my mother. “I cannot do this. I cannot!”
“I know,” she said, and pink lines of power rippled up her arms. “I know, so I will take the choice from you. Kill me, my friend. As we have discussed, kill me so Lark will hate you, and my children will have a chance at survival.”
Cassava screamed as she turned. “No!”
But she was no match for the power that wove around her, the power of Spirit forcing her to do as Ulani wished. As my mother wished. I couldn’t breathe. They backed away from one another and then the young me and Cactus were awake and the scene spilled out as I had always remembered it.
My mother being killed by the Sylphs, and Cassava taking Bramley from my arms.
But again, there were red lines on the memory. My heart hammered as though someone had taken to drumming on it violently. I screamed the word, “Stop!”
The memory jolted to a halt and I ran forward, tearing the red lines away from Cassava as she held my little brother. He stared up at her face, blue eyes full of fear.
Full of life.
Bramley was alive.