I CAN’T BELIEVE I AGREED to go to this barbeque. Ryan is picking me up any minute and I’m still standing here in my panties and bra, staring at a dress and an alternative jeans and a tee. It’s hot today though; the heat pours through the blinds making my dorm feel like a furnace so the dress is the obvious choice.
I feel a little lighter today. I think sharing with Ryan helped me. The fact he has lived with the death of a parent too is a weird comfort. Granted, his dad wasn’t murdered but he was still robbed of a person who gave him life, who raised him until his passing.
Maybe I’m not a lost cause after all. Ryan and Blake survived
My phone buzzes, startling me. It’s Markus again, he won’t leave me alone. Our family lawyer is finally home from his vacation and wants to have the will read but I don’t feel ready to break up everything my parents owned, including the house and business. What will happen to all of that? God, I need to get it over with. Someone my age shouldn’t be thinking about this stuff, but caving into myself and hiding from it isn’t helping me. The shadows were creeping out from the dark and soon I would be completely lost amongst them never to find the light again.
“Melody.” Ryan’s voice booms through my door, making my heart almost explode in fright.
“Okay, I’m ready.” I toss the sun dress over my head, grabbing my bag and slipping on some beige cowboy boots.
We pass Cherry and Red on our way out. They blush which, with their genes, lights them both up like beacons. They giggle and hiss at me to call them later, no doubt making assumptions again. If only they knew it was his older brother’s lips I’ve been attached to in the past and every night in my dreams since. Will he be there? Hell, of course he will, lots of detectives will be. Will they know who I am? Will they know what happened? Anxiety pumps the blood too fast in my veins. I feel a wave of unbalance followed by nausea flutter through me, bringing a chilled flush.
“They’re just people, Melody. We won’t stay long. We bailed on the last one.”
My battle is clearly not just internal if Ryan senses my unease.
I DIDN’T BUY IT FOR one second when they arrested the drug dealer’s roommate when he was trying to flee with his pal’s drug haul. I’ve been going over the notes even though it isn’t my case, but having someone that isn’t me capable of such violence is a little too close to home. Ryan has been at the club many times and that murderer picked his victim on a whim, I just know it. He was too brazen for my liking.
“What’s that?” Ryan asks, walking into my office. I must have left the door open which isn’t like me. Damn, I’m all over the place lately. I’m obsessed with Melody’s brother and I keep going over the details, quelling the need to go confront him and wring his weak little neck. Her fucking eyes still awake me every night when they penetrate my dreams, my cock hardens and demands I relieve it as my mind relives her hot little mouth on mine, and now this case is niggling at me.
“Blake!”
I snap my attention to his risen voice. “Sorry. What?”
He lifts his chin in the direction of the photos and report on my desk.
“Oh, it’s work. Did you hear about the murder at Club Blue?”
“Of course, everyone has. The paper claims they have a suspect. That true?”
I lean back in my chair, my hands coming up behind my head. “His roommate, but I don’t buy it.”
He stares at me intently; a lift of his lip almost gives into a smile. “That’s because you’re better at your job than those text book nerds. What do you care anyway? He was a bottom feeder.”
I drop my arms, scoop up the files and slip them into one of the drawers. “It’s my job, Ry.” He scoffs, drawing my glare. “What the fuck’s your problem?”
I keep all details of my other job/activities secret from Ryan; it isn’t something he ever needs to know and if I ever fuck up and get caught, he can’t be implicated. Knowledge is power, but ignorance is also power in these circumstances.
“No problem.” He chuckles over his shoulder as he walks from the room.
“Ryan! Stay out of this room.”
“Whatever.”
I hate being at little events like this, surrounded by happy people, all friendly and engaging. I’m not the only one faking my smile. Suzanne’s smiling right now at Mike’s wife, Courtney, while inside she despises her for being the one he married when she has been in love with him since high school. Mike is sharing a beer with Mary’s husband, and later will be fucking Mary in one of the many bathrooms this place boasts. I’m not against having laughs, I actually like some of the officers I work with. My partner, Zach, is as close to a best friend as I allow myself since high school. Jasper was my best friend back then, when I allowed myself to have normal relationships like friendships, but he moved away for college and never came back. He’s settled down, got himself a husband and a wife if the rumors are true. Good for him.
I need to get laid. It’s been too long and I get trigger happy when I’m on the edge. Sex is a good release and I need to do anything to stop myself thinking or watching Melody. Damn, that woman has crawled under the surface into layers I didn’t even know I had. It’s confusing and I hate the unease inside me. I’m used to a slightly simmering calm on the surface of my façade while I bury any type of emotion and live with an indifferent quality to life. The only thing is, now I realise it’s just a way of concealing emotions I still own. If the way she made me feel is any indication, my emotions are becoming unburied and I hate her for making me notice this. I hate her for making me feel this way. I’ve never felt this before, how is she doing it? I just need to get laid, maybe that will wane whatever the fuck this is, because hate and lust are the only emotions I own up to feeling, so I’ll just hate fuck everything else out of me.
I check my watch to see how long I’ve been here.
“Not even an hour, don’t even think about it! You’re helping with the grill.” Zach glares, handing me a beer. Shit, that bastard knows me better than I thought.
“I need to get laid.” I groan, looking over at Jess wearing a summer dress that barely covers her ass. She has all the right equipment but my dick just isn’t up for playing with it. The noise grows boisterous with greetings. I look over and nearly spit out my beer; Ryan is here with her. Her LIVE tattoo is accompanied by a night blooming cereus but she doesn’t just blossom in the moonlight, she looks just as stunning under the beam of the sun. It embraces her in its glow, the flecks of red glimmering from its touch.
I stand, walking up behind them, overhearing Mills asking how long they’ve been a couple.
“We’re just friends,” Melody answers, her feet shifting. The shit-eating grin from Mills could have eclipsed the sun, it’s so big. His head tips back to let the “ha” rip free.
“You can’t win them all! Ryan, that has to be a first. Your pretty boy looks didn’t get a girl wet for you, huh?” Mills has been necking the booze, and he’s obviously well on his way to being wasted and punched out if he keeps letting his mouth run. Ryan studies him for a few seconds before turning to a red-faced Melody. As if in slow motion his hand moves up towards her, impacting her shoulder, causing her footing to stutter and her arms to flay wildly. Her body tips backwards and her mouth pops open, a little screech gaining everyone’s attention. She crashes, breaking the surface of the water in the pool, the splash small, raining down to puncture the undisturbed calm around her.
“I can still get her wet.”
There’s no joking, no remorse for humiliating and soaking his friend in front of everyone. Jess sniggers but mostly there are gasps and muffled words of disapproval.
Her little gasps for air when she surfaces make me want to lick the water from every inch of her skin to elicit gasps of pleasure. Zach holds his hand out to her, pulling her from the water. His wife, Jasmine, is already holding a towel out to her, whispering where she can dry off and find something to change into. She scurries away, her eyes downcast.
Gripping Ryan by the back of the neck, I pull him away from the rest of the gathered crowd. “What the fuck was that?”
“He forced my hand by being a prick, and what do you care anyway?”
His pride, that’s why he humiliated her.
“I’m an asshole, Ry, but even I can see that was shitty. You don’t keep people around, but this girl, you have don’t push her away over some asshole taking a pot shot.”
His onyx eyes glare back at me. “You’re right. I’m going to fuck his wife’s face and then apologise to Melody.”
He pulls from my grip, leaving me gaping.
I answer the call from inside myself and go in search of Melody. I find her in the en-suite bathroom of the main bedroom. She’s a sin to someone like me but the rush from just a taste is worth God’s wrath, and let’s face it, I’m not going to be in the queue at the pearly gates; I’ll have a ticket straight down.
“Oh God, you! Stop doing that shit, you’re like a ninja!” She gasps, trying to catch her breath. I growl at her in response. I’m sick of seeing that face in my dreams, those pouty fucking lips, those green orbs burrowing to unlock shit inside me that had no business being unlocked.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Her little gasp makes my cock even harder; it’s pushing against the seam in my jeans, putting pressure there and craving release.
“I’m with your brother, he invited me.”
Shit, hearing that, even though I already know makes my temper boil. I hate that I want her and I hated that my brother has been getting her in some way or another. Her time spent with him makes me… holy shit… jealous. I’m acting like a teenage girl with a crush. I need her to hand my balls back. She’s playing a game, she has to be. How she got Ryan to keep her around intrigues me but not as much as the fact she let me touch her and then spent all her time with him. That pisses me off. It’s unusual for him to keep people around. I’ve never seen him care about anyone, not even me.
Damn, I need to get out of this small space. I’m too close to her. Her body is giving off signals and she doesn’t even know it. Her nipples are hard, pushing against the flimsy fabric of her dress. Her eyes glaze with lust, she wants me, and I could take her, just a taste, right now.
“Did you want something else or are you just stopping by to show me you’re still an asshole?”
I can’t contain the laugh that tears from my chest. “You’re brave, I give you that.” I observe her, stepping closer.
She battles with herself. She doesn’t want to show her wariness but the tiny step back and her pupils expanding tell me she knows better than to not be. Fuck, her little frame shakes, beads of water soaking into her skin. Her damp hair clings to the side of her face; her bottom lip edible as it trembles, enticing me to take her.
“Is your appearance all part of your trap, Puya? You must be a wild lay to keep Ryan coming back for more. He’s a little twisted, even for my tastes. Your pussy must grab like a vice.”
I’m just provoking her. I know it isn’t like that between them. Lust turns to hate in a flash, all telling in those expressive eyes of hers. Her hand twitches before she raises it and connects with my cheek, but I don’t want to stop her. I want to feel a little something, anything to stop me doing something worse.
“You’re so fucking vile. Who broke you? Who made you so hateful? Because that’s where you should target your bitterness, not at everyone else.”
I would have laughed if I didn’t feel the truth of what she said so deeply. “You can talk.”
Her body straightens and her eyes explore mine. “My world became disjointed but I keep the hate for the target inside until I know where to aim it. I don’t shower it on you, so stop drenching me in yours.”
Her tiny shoulder nudges mine for me to move and let her leave. I push her back, her balance giving way from the force, her butt hitting the side of the bath. She looks up at me as I tower over her. “What are you doing?”
Her breathing is heavy and totally betrays her need for what I’m about to do. I jolt her legs apart with my knee. Her thighs quiver against mine. I drop to my knees and her eyes wildly explore my face. I push my upper body between her now spread legs, scraping my hands up her damp, slick thighs, leaving red trails from my fingertips, forcing her dress to rise. Her chest rises in rhythm with my own erratic heartbeat. The desire emanating from us is almost palpable. Every further inch I uncover makes me harder. Her white cotton panties come into view, her pussy almost visible against the soaked fabric. Ryan is a dick for what he did but, God, I want to thank him in this moment. She leans back, showing she wants me to continue, her arm braced on the tiled wall behind her, the other grasping the sink. I slowly dip my fingers into the lip of her panties and drag them down a couple of inches, just until her bare mound is exposed. Saliva floods my mouth, and leaning forward I grip her hips and tug her to my lips, sucking her mound into my mouth, biting her there.
“Oh my God.”
I jolt when the moan doesn’t belong to her; her body has stiffened. My eyes collide with her urgent green swirls. The noises are coming from outside the en suite bathroom we are in. Someone’s come into the adjoining bedroom.
“Get on your fucking knees.” Shit, it’s Ryan. I lift my finger to my lips, miming for her to keep silent. With a nod, her bottom lip disappears into her mouth. God, she’s making me not think rationally.
“You wanted it, take it all the way, you filthy fucking whore.”
My eyes close as Melody’s eyes nearly pop from their sockets. A slapping sound then gurgling follows. I slowly rise to my knees, backing away from her exposed treats with remorse. She furiously straightens her clothing, trying to be quiet, and flinching when her dress, heavy from being wet, slaps against her skin.
“Choke on my cock, bitch, then go kiss that cunt of a husband.”
“Shit, don’t say things like that. It’s not sexy.”
My jaw tightens and my fists open and close. Mills’ wife. He wasn’t kidding. This little shit is going to bring real trouble down on him with this crap and I’ll have to bail him out and still work with these fuckers.
I risk a quick glimpse, and sure enough Mills’ wife is bowed beneath Ryan, looking up, worshipful. Fucking cradle-robbing whore. This woman doesn’t give a shit that Ryan is a nineteen-year-old kid dealing with crap that happened to him as a child the only way he knows.
He slaps her across the face with his dick. “I’m not here to fucking woo you! Fucking shut your mouth unless you’re eating my cock.” He rams his dick down her throat, making her eyes water.
Light flashes. “Smile for the camera.”
She tries to pull away but his other hand holds her firmly against his dick, forcing her onto him. Her nose is almost touching his pubic bone, her head is shaking, her hands wildly slapping at his legs. He’s laughing, looking down at her and taking evidence on his phone.
Shit. I don’t want to make my presence known but she’s going to pass out if I don’t.
“Ryan!”
His hand releases her on reflex. She falls backwards on to her ass, gasping for air, tears streaming from her bloodshot eyes. “You….bastard!”
I point at her. “You’re a fucking slut. Get out before I tell your husband what a whore he married.” Her eyes drop to the floor. She gets to her feet and races from the room. “Ryan, what the actual fuck?”
He slips his dick away, buttoning his fly. “I told you what I was going to do. You seen Melody?”
“No, I haven’t seen her,” I grate out, and watch in astonishment as he leaves the room as if what he did is perfectly normal
“I think I’m just going to leave,” Melody whispers from behind me.
“I think that’s a good idea and it gives me an excuse to leave too. I’ll drive you. Being here is excruciating.”
She scoffs and flees the room.
Melody doesn’t even say goodbye to anyone. I find her walking up the street in her wet clothes. She looks ridiculous.
“Get in the fucking car now. You’re making a spectacle of yourself and it’s embarrassing.”
Fury pours from her. “Drop dead, Blake.”
Grabbing her hips from behind to halt her, I repeat, “Get in the fucking car!”
“Fine! But don’t touch me, asshole.”
Ha! She loves me touching her, the deluded little brat. “My brother just made my dick shrivel up and die so don’t worry your pretty, lying little head, princess.”
She slams the car door, yanking at her seat belt “Lying?”
“Yeah, lying. You fucking love me touching you, Puya, you can deny it with these lips,” I stroke a finger over her gaping mouth, “but those lips…” I wink down at the feverish junction between her luscious thighs, “divulge your lies.” I smirk at her. “Shit, it’s throbbing right now, isn’t it? Creaming from the anticipation.” Her gasp is audible. “Well, hold it in, Puya. I couldn’t get it up now if I tried.” That’s a lie and I hope she won’t look down and mock me for the same shit I just spun at her.
Complete silence descends and lasts the entire drive home. I pull up to her dorm.
“You’re welcome.” I grin at her hostile posture.
“I hate you.”
“No, you hate yourself because you don’t hate me.” I know because I hate me for the exact same thing. I don’t voice the last part though.
She darts from the car and I wait for her to disappear behind the closed door before driving home.