CHAPTER 11
“It was just a kiss,” Liv repeated for the third time that night, refusing to be one of those women who obsessed over ridiculous things—like how it had been three days since the kiss and Ford hadn’t called. Not that she’d expected him to, or even that she would have known what to say if he had, since “Thanks” was the best she’d come up with.
But some kind of word would have been nice, especially since she hadn’t seen his Jeep in the driveway.
“Then why did you scout out the bar before agreeing to come inside?” Avery asked, with a knowing grin.
“I was looking for Grace,” Liv said primly.
“Grace is right there, in the same place she was two minutes ago when we were outside and she waved us in.” Avery pointed to a booth in the far back corner. “Yet you haven’t taken your eyes off the bar since we walked in.”
Just like she couldn’t get her mind off the way her body had melted when Ford’s lips touched hers in a kiss that changed everything. It felt like the end and the beginning all at the same time, which probably explained the big, confusing knot of emotions in her chest that wound tighter every day that passed.
“Just reading the specials on tap tonight,” she said.
It was Tap-That Thursday at the Backwoods Brewhouse. With half-price local brews, every stool was filled, and the bar was three deep—which made finding anyone difficult. Even the group of search-and-rescue guys gathered at the side of the bar in bright orange were hard to make out.
“Uh-huh,” Avery said, calling Liv on that lie.
Not that it was a lie, really. Tonight was a celebration, and instead of going for her regular order of Riesling, Liv was determined to branch out, be adventurous. Which sounded like fun, except she couldn’t stop wondering what had happened to her last adventure.
Earlier that day, Dr. Brown had submitted Liv to the board as a viable candidate, so keeping her focus was essential—and that meant keeping things professional. At least until she heard back on the permits. A hard task when she knew what his lips tasted like.
“You should consider the Flaming Pig’s Ass—it will go with that goofy grin you’ve got going on,” Avery said with a teasing grin, dragging Liv through the bar and straight for Grace, weaving in and out of the crush of people.
The open rafters, stacked-log walls, and vintage aging tanks displayed the deep roots of the historic mountain brewery, while the antler chandeliers and sleek leather furniture brought a hunting-lodge feel to the brewhouse turned bar and grill.
Grace sat in a booth covered in Liv’s favorite fried foods, a bottle of champagne, and three glasses. Liv’s chest expanded over the thoughtful gesture. It had been a long time since she’d had something to celebrate. Even longer since she’d had someone to celebrate with.
Liv had no sooner slid into the booth when Grace offered Liv a glass, then raised her own in toast. “To our friend Olivia. For moving up and making out.”
Liv took her glass but glared at Avery over the rim. “Seriously? You told her?”
“Of course she told me.” Grace clinked glasses. “Now, spill. I want to hear everything. Where did it happen? Who made the first move? What where you wearing? Is it going to happen again?”
“Poppy fields. Me. Clothes. And probably not.” With that out of the way, Liv emptied her glass in one swallow.
“What do you mean probably not?” Grace sounded as if she’d just learned unicorns didn’t exist.
“Just what I said.” Liv grabbed a celery stick off the wings plate and dipped it in ranch. “It was an in-the-moment thing, the moment is over, and I think I’ll skip the beer and go with a Riesling.”
“Liv,” Grace said in that nurturing tone that had the power to unlock people’s secrets, so Liv shoved a carrot in her mouth, and then another, until it was too full to talk.
Her friends leaned back and sipped their champagne, content to wait it out. Liv swallowed and let out a big sigh. “He dropped me off at the curb and said, ‘It was fun.’”
“No, he did not,” Grace breathed, aghast. “He ‘funned’ you? That deserves a second glass.” Grace didn’t stop until the sparkling liquid was licking the glass’s rim.
“No second kiss at the door, no ‘Let’s do it again.’” Nope, Man Candy had “funned” her and then didn’t call.
This time Liv bypassed the veggie stick and went straight for a handful of fries.
“You did say you were looking for fun,” Avery pointed out. “And before we bash the guy, did you want a second kiss?”
“Have you seen the man? Of course she wanted a second kiss,” Grace said, but Avery’s focus was locked on Liv.
Liv had done her fair share of dreaming over the past few days, and while part of her said she wanted another kiss—the naughty part—she had to admit that there was still some hesitation.
Sure, there was the expected guilt and the annoying flutters that wouldn’t go away. But what had Liv rethinking everything was the sense of rightness she’d felt. In the moment and all the moments since.
How could kissing another man feel so right when losing Sam had been so incredibly wrong?
“You want a second kiss, right?” Grace asked, sounding confused.
“I don’t know. The first one wasn’t a premeditated kiss—it just happened.” Even though he’d given her the chance to back out, the moment had already taken over. “But a second kiss would be a conscious decision.”
A decision that when made with a clear mind would carry a weight she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to handle just yet.
Her friends shared a look full of deep concern and worry. The one thing she hated more than being blindsided was making people worry about her. If Sam hadn’t been so worried about her, he would still be around.
“Nothing you do will ever take away from what you and Sam shared,” Grace said with gentle understanding. “He wasn’t your first kiss, and it would be a waste of a big heart like yours if he was your last.”
“He’s no longer my last, but I’m scared of what happens when he’s no longer my best,” she admitted, because Ford’s kiss had the power of a defibrillator—one zap could jump-start her heart.
“We’re scared that you’ll be so busy trying to do right by a man who is no longer here that you’ll end up focusing on what could have been instead of what might be,” Avery said.
“Trust me, surrounding yourself with memories isn’t any way to live,” Grace added, and Liv wanted to cry.
“Yes, it was Sam’s childhood home, but we never lived there together, so they aren’t my memories.” Even as she said the words, Liv knew they were a lie. She was living with Sam every day. He was in every picture, every room, every decision she made. His memory even shaped how she’d approached her new promotion.
How would Sam do it? What would Sam think? Look what Sam’s missing.
Her world was so full of Sam, there were times it didn’t feel as if there was room for Liv.
Only she hadn’t felt trapped with Ford. She’d felt free.
Problem was—attaching her freedom to a man who was destined to leave didn’t feel like the fresh start she was looking for.
Avery’s voice softened. “You once told me that I deserved to be happy, so now it is my turn. You, Liv Preston, deserve to be happy. Like glowing, you’re so happy. Sam would have wanted that for you. Even if it meant sharing a second smoking-hot kiss with a smoking-hot guy.”
Flutters took flight in her chest, and Liv had a hard time swallowing. Panic, hormones, and lust made for one complicated mess of emotions fighting for domination.
And just when she felt as if she were going to hyperventilate, Grace took her hand. “I did the intense forever thing too and got burned. Maybe not in the same way, but the loss was as painful. Wouldn’t it be nice to experience the other side of dating? The side that doesn’t have to be anything other than fun. No commitments, no expectations, no hurt feelings. All the benefits without the baggage.”
While the thought of dating a rugged mountain man sounded exhilarating, a date with a kind man who made her laugh sounded equally as terrifying. Because while the first would be another small step toward moving on, Liv hadn’t had a first date in so long this might as well have been her maiden sail.
And while she was open to a little putter around the lake to get herself reacquainted, she knew that with Ford it would be like chartering a speedboat set for open seas.
“I don’t even know if he wants a second kiss,” Liv said. “Which is why I’m going to just go with the flow and not obsess—that’s the plan.”
“Said every old cat lady ever.” Avery reached out and loosened Liv’s ponytail. “Your plan is going to land you in the friend zone.”
Liv thought about how natural she’d felt with Ford, how easy it was to be around him, and found herself smiling. “You say that like friends is a bad thing.”
“It is if you want to be kissed again.” Avery gave Liv’s hair a fluff and pulled it around her shoulders. “Now, what were you wearing?”
“A T-shirt and jeans.”
“What happened to the dress we picked out the other day?”
“I was going hiking. It would have clashed with my boots.” She left out the part where she’d canceled their date in a text.
Avery let out a long-winded sigh. “I’m surprised that with your Mom-A-Licious shirt, his dog wasn’t the only thing jumping you.”
“I didn’t wear my Mom-A-Licious shirt.” She’d worn her #LIKEAMOM shirt. “And my jeans make my waist look tiny and my butt look twenty.” For a woman who was a few months away from being called midthirties, that was something to be proud of.
“Next time wear that blue top with the tiny straps that says ‘I want to be kissed.’”
Liv knew the top she was talking about and felt a small thrill at the way the silk would slide against her skin. “The one I wore to your bachelorette party?”
“Oh yeah, that top looks great,” Grace agreed, taking out a notepad and pen from her purse. “It takes you from a respectable B to a full C.”
She looked down at her boobs and sighed. Not even a respectable B today. “The top got me zero action the last time I wore it.”
“You weren’t ready to be kissed, which is where the seven signs that you’re ready to be kissed comes into play. Primping comes in at number seven,” Avery informed them as if she were fluent in the language of seduction, when in reality she looked like a grown-up blonde Dora the Explorer.
Then again, the adventure guide was the only one of the three who was getting any.
“But it looks like I’m going to have to give you CliffsNotes, because Ford just walked in and is doing the same sweep you did.”
Liv’s stomach tightened, and she was about to turn around when she heard someone shout, “Ford, over here, man.”
It was one of his buddies at the bar, calling him over, most likely for guys’ night. Not wanting to draw attention, Liv sank down into the booth.
“That is the exact opposite of what you should be doing,” Avery said. “No wonder why he didn’t kiss you at the door. Now sit up and make direct eye contact and don’t look away.”
“Or I can respect that he’s here for guys’ night and talk to him tomorrow.” When she wasn’t in work scrubs with sprinkles on them.
“Or you can fluff your hair in his direction, sign five in letting him know you want to be kissed,” Avery said, and both women started waving.
“Can you not?” Liv grabbed Avery’s hand and lowered it to the table.
“Too late. He waved back to the crazy girls.” It was only then that Grace put her hand down. “Aw, he’s a keeper.”
“What happened to just the fun side?”
“That was before I saw all his sides. They are equally impressive, and I give you permission to explore all of them,” Grace said with a grin. “If you report back with details.”
“He’s here to see his friends,” Liv said. “No more details to share.”
“Actually, he’s here to see you.”
Liv didn’t have to turn around to see who that gravelly voice belonged to, because her nipples went hard. Taking in a deep breath, she prepared herself for the impact and turned, but it was all in vain.
Grace was right—the man was smoking hot. In dust-covered boots, low-slung tactical pants, and enough testosterone to level a football arena, Ford was over six feet of unadulterated fun waiting to be tapped. Appreciating the way his work shirt clung to that very defined chest of his, she decided that fun was something she desperately wanted to happen.
“We’re celebrating,” Avery pointed out. “Want to join us?”
“Thanks, but I just need to talk to Liv,” he said to the table and then looked right at her. His smile was dialed to flirt, but his eyes were serious. The kind of serious that made Liv’s hands sweat. “Do you have a second?”
“A second kiss,” Avery coughed, and Grace laughed.
Ford let the dimples pop out, but she could tell he had to work for that smile.
Liv cut her friends a hard glare, then stood. “Sure. I was going to get a beer at the bar.”
Before Liv could respond, Ford had her hand in his big warm one, and he was leading her though the brewery, past the bar and his buddies—grabbing two bottles of beer on his way—not stopping until they were outside, the warm evening air surrounding them.
It was only in the light of the sinking sun that she realized just how dirty he was. He looked as if he’d been playing beach volleyball—fully clothed. His scruff was so thick it could be considered a beard, his eyes were tired, and his body language was on edge.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
He came to a stop on the side of the building and let go of her hand to cup the bill of his cap and pull it low on his head in an unconscious move that was all male and pent-up nerves.
“Ford, is everything okay?”
Setting the bottles of beer on top of a crate, he turned to face her. Study her was more like it. He slowly took in every inch of her, and a small smile touched his lips when he spotted her sprinkle scrubs. “I got you something.”
To her surprise and delight, he pulled a small brown box from his jacket pocket. He held on to it, as if debating if he really wanted to let go, before looking up at her with his eyes and offering it to her.
“Is it a paperweight?” she asked, taking the box from his hand, trying to figure out what was inside, and telling herself not to get her hopes up. For all she knew, it was hooks or some kind of rappelling locks for Wagon Days.
“No, and don’t shake it.” Liv froze midshake and lifted a brow. “It’s fragile.”
Liv smiled for the first time since seeing him in the bar. Ford wasn’t upset—he was nervous. Which was as ridiculous as it was cute, because watching this big, unflappable man struggle with giving her a surprise was endearing.
Breaking the tape with her nail, she slowly opened the lid, her hands doing some shaking of their own. Because inside the plain brown box, beneath the sheet of white wax paper and in a pink tin with little white nursing hats, was proof that Ford was one of the good ones.
“You brought me a nurse cupcake?” she asked, her heart melting over his thoughtfulness.
“I was in Shasta and found this cupcake shop with nurse cupcakes in the window. And I knew that today was a big day with your job.” He shrugged. “So I swung by on my way out of town and picked one up for you.”
“This is really sweet,” she said, and he groaned at the word, but he didn’t seem that upset. In fact, he actually blushed a little at her compliment.
“From you, I’ll take sweet,” he said, his smile faltering as the last word played off his tongue.
Hers disappeared altogether. Not because she knew, without a doubt, that she wanted to kiss him again. But because she’d take this moment over and over again.
“I don’t know what to say.”
In fact, it was becoming increasingly difficult to speak, period. Ford had gone out of his way to make her feel special, celebrated. Being on the receiving end of such kindness—and what felt a lot like caring—made her heart do crazy things.
“Nothing to say.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I saw it and thought of you. I wanted to get you something to celebrate. Your boss called to confirm that the permits were in process, and I told her that I signed off and sent them to Harvey at the Department of Community Development. I also explained that everything is in order, and there is no reason they shouldn’t be approved, but—”
“I know, she called me into her office right after she talked to you,” Liv said, feeling a familiar rush of comfort that came from sharing. It seemed so simple, and for most people it was, but for Liv she hadn’t had someone to share her day with in a while. “She told me that because we’d done such a great job with keeping the town’s interests at the heart of the event, the Mobile Medic was officially cleared to work Wagon Days.”
“The heart of it, that was all you,” Ford said quietly. “I just helped with the paperwork.”
“You more than helped. If it weren’t for you pushing me to think bigger, Dr. Brown wouldn’t have submitted me to the board as her top choice for the RN position.”
“Congratulations, Liv.” He said it sincerely, but there was a heavier emotion weighing down his words.
“I was going to tell you, but you haven’t been home.” Liv closed the lid and traced a finger across the seam. “You were in Shasta?”
“Yeah, a missing hiker. They needed a relief team, so Bullseye and I drove down,” he said. “We found the hiker today. He’d fallen down a cliff and broken his leg, but he’ll be fine. I just got back. Bullseye is in the car sleeping.”
“You were out there for three days?” she said, noticing that he looked way too good for a guy who’d spent three days in the wilderness.
“Why?” He grinned, that charm in full effect. “You miss me, cupcake?”
Liv could have twirled her hair or one of the other silly things Avery would tell her to do, but instead she went for honest. “I did. More than I should have.” And then because there was no point in playing coy, she asked, “Why did you come here tonight? Was it just to bring me a cupcake?”
Ford went stock-still, staring silently at her. She had confused him, which was fine by her since his little sweet gift had her so flustered she couldn’t think straight.
“No,” he finally said, and her body gave a little shiver.
The heat between them was so tangible it made it difficult to catch her breath. He didn’t help the situation, letting his gaze purposefully fall to her lips, taking that shiver to a full-blown zing of anticipation. And when she realized he wasn’t trying to hide his interest, she knew she had two seconds to make up her mind.
“Then why did you come?”
Without a word, Ford stepped forward, heading straight for her, his face taut, his brown eyes blazing.
This caught her completely off guard, and she took a step backward, her back coming flat against the wall of the building.
Grabbing the bill of his ball cap, Ford flipped it backward and closed the last breath of air between them. “I came for this.”
Liv didn’t have to ask what this was, because the second his fingers threaded through her hair, lifting her face to meet his, she knew she was ready. She wasn’t sure what she was ready for, but she knew she wanted this.
He gave her a breath to think about it, just long enough for her to know she was tired of thinking. She wanted to feel.
And my oh my, did he feel amazing.
Strong and steady, moving with purpose. But she couldn’t forget the tenderness. It was what had her head spinning. Had her rethinking why she’d been so hesitant to take this step.
One minute she was up against the wall, the next she was curled around his body, Ford’s mouth needy and hot against hers. He teased the seam of her lips and then gently worked it open, and Liv felt all the air whoosh from her lungs as his hands slid down her back to that sensitive curve right below her shirt hem.
His fingers, those talented fingers, dipped under, gently skating back and forth across her bare back and around to her hip as he took her mouth in what had to be the most magical second kiss in the history of second kisses. A kiss that had the potential to last all night.
And the way he touched her, melting away her bones and every last one of her concerns, told her he was open to the idea. She just had to say the word.
But words were hard to come by since his mouth was fused to hers, in long, drugging kisses that had her heart pounding and her knees turning to mush beneath her. She must have wobbled, because Ford molded her hips with his hands and turned her, backing her up against the grille of his truck.
The heat still radiated off his engine. It was almost as intense as the fire that raged between them. Pent-up tension and bone-deep lust collided into one giant ball of chemistry that had Liv curling into him.
Her hands slid into his hair, and his went right to her bottom, cupping her backside in a confident and possessive way that had Liv moaning into his mouth.
Normally, that kind of thing wouldn’t do it for her, but when Ford scooped her up and sat her on the hood of his truck, Liv was lost.
Lost in his taste, the way he touched her—in the way he made her feel. Sexy and strong and desirable.
She wound her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. So close there was nothing but the evening air between them. And man oh man, he smelled good. Insanely good. Like hot summer nights and life-altering adventures.
He felt even better. Solid and strong and—right.
There was that word again. Ford’s arms were wrapped around her waist as if made especially for her. The way their mouths moved, slowly and languidly, perfectly in sync. It was as erotic as it was thrilling.
Liv knew that responsible Single Working Parents didn’t leave their kids with a sitter to kiss sexy globe-trotters in public parking lots, but she wanted a few more moments under the stars. With his hands on her just like this.
The two of them.
No stress. No interruptions. No voices from the past creeping in. Just a moment to remember what it was like to be a normal woman. In the arms of an extraordinary man.
Ford must have felt the same because his kisses turned even hotter, trailing down her neck to the soft curve and lower. She let her head fall back, a breathy sigh escaping her lips.
“Ford,” she whispered right as the back door of the bar opened.
Liv bolted upright as Ty walked out.
“Harris is looking for you. Ah—” Ty froze, and then a big smile spread across his face. “Hey, Liv.”
Liv patted her hair down. “Hi, Ty.”
“Bye, Ty,” Ford said, his eyes never leaving hers. They were dark, heated, and completely wild. Just like her heart rate.
“And here I thought you were hiding from Harris, who found out about Shasta and is pissed, by the way,” Ty said, his arms crossed as he leaned casually against the wall.
“Tell Harris I’ll talk with him later,” Ford said.
“That’s okay,” Liv said. Then to Ty she said, “We were just finishing up.”
Ty looked at his watch. “Wow, that was . . . fast.”
Ford shot him a death glare that would have made Liv pee her pants. Ty just shot him the finger.
Liv took in the scene, imagined what Ty must be thinking, and a strange heaviness settled in the pit of her stomach.
She told herself she hadn’t done anything wrong. So what if Ty had gone to school with Sam and knew everyone’s history? It shouldn’t matter. She had mourned Sam and was ready to move on.
But no matter how she justified it, all she could think was that her first public sign that she was moving on happened with her sprawled across the hood of a pickup truck.
In a parking lot.
“My sitter is actually expecting me soon, so I have to be going,” she said, taking a big step back.
“Let me walk you out,” Ford said quietly, and Liv took another step back.
“We’re already out.” She looked up at the sky and then started walking toward the front lot. She held up the cupcake and over her shoulder said, “Thanks.”