CHAPTER SIX
From the moment Harry had opened his front door to Molly—and especially now that he’d heard her side of the story and knew she couldn’t possibly be trying to pull one over on him—it felt as though a fire were burning throughout his entire body. Every vein, every cell overheated. Because despite the emotions roiling through him over the story she’d just told him, he couldn’t help but notice that she was even more beautiful now than she’d been at eighteen, her curves more pronounced, her features fuller, her eyes a deeper blue. And he found himself breathing her in, that tantalizing scent he’d never forgotten.
If only he hadn’t pushed Molly away in college—if only he hadn’t been so convinced he couldn’t be enough for her when his family was pulling him in so many different directions—none of this would have happened. Not only losing Molly, but also missing out on the first fifteen years of his daughter’s life.
Harry’s chest ached with the realization of what he’d lost. What all of them had lost. Thank God Amelia had done the DNA test, then been brave enough to come and find him. Just as her mother had been brave enough to leave Columbia University when she became pregnant, before some rich punk and his family could pressure her into giving up her baby.
“Molly.”
He couldn’t stop himself from putting his hands over hers again, not when it felt so right. As right as it had been in college when he’d been so sure she was the one for him. Back when he’d believed that he and Molly would have the fairy tale. That there would never be the darkness or sorrow or anger that had been in his parents’ marriage. That they would never hurt each other in the deepest ways two people could.
“Please.” Her sobs tore at his already shredded heart. “Don’t cry. We’ll figure this out. All of it.”
As she made an effort to stop, her chest hitched once, then twice, then again. Finally, she ran the napkin over her face, the fabric crumpled in her hand. “I didn’t mean to do that, to fall apart in your kitchen. I just keep thinking about all the things that could have happened to Amelia today without me there to look out for her, without my even knowing where she was.”
Drake had been Harry’s voice of reason in the study this afternoon. Now it was Harry’s turn to say, “You can’t let yourself go to all those worst-case places inside your head. She’s okay.”
“But is she really? She made it here unscathed, thank God, but she grew up without a dad. All because it never occurred to me that you could possibly be her father. I swear, if I had thought there was even the barest chance, I would have come to you and said something.”
“If only I’d been there for you instead of breaking things off—”
“You were burning the candle at all ends,” she said, cutting off his attempts to verbally rewind time. “You were working through to sunrise most nights just to try to keep up with your classwork. The absolute last thing you needed was a needy girlfriend getting in your way. Not when you already had too much on your plate. Not when you were barely keeping everyone together. Your family would have fallen apart without you, Harry. If not for you, I don’t think they would have been here at your house today celebrating together. And I would never have forgiven myself if that happened—if your family had fallen to pieces because I was in your life. Not when I knew how it would break you to lose them.”
“Don’t you know it broke me to lose you, Molly?” He hadn’t planned to say any of this, but he couldn’t stop the emotional words from coming. “Only to find out that I didn’t just lose the love of my life, I almost lost out on ever knowing my daughter. All because I had my priorities wrong.”
“I loved that you love your family so much.” He was amazed that, even now, she didn’t seem to blame him, nor would she let him blame himself. “That family means everything to you. I’ve never known anyone like you—who puts their family first, no matter the cost to themselves. Especially when my parents are the opposite. When I became a mother, I realized how much I had learned from you. So many times when I felt confused and overwhelmed, I asked myself, What would Harry do right now? You love your family without conditions, without boundaries, without ego. Exactly the way I love Amelia. And I will never apologize for that.”
He wished it could be so simple to absolve himself of guilt over the far-reaching consequences of his actions. Consequences he could never have imagined, not in his wildest dreams.
“We need to do a second DNA test. First thing tomorrow, so that we can be one hundred percent certain that I am Amelia’s father.”
“I agree,” Molly said. But then she frowned. “For years, I’ve been trying to figure out when I should tell her about her father—about the man I thought was her father. But I never wanted to say anything that might make her doubt how much I wanted her, or how much I love her.”
“She would never doubt those things, Molly. Even after only one evening with her, I can say that with absolute certainty. You’re the center of her world, and she knows she’s the center of yours. Nothing you say to her about your past is going to change that.”
“But what if she looks at me differently after I tell her that I had unprotected, drunk sex with a stranger when I was only a few years older than she is now?”
Harry’s chest tightened, not only at the thought of Molly in such a vulnerable position with someone who hadn’t cared about her—but also from envisioning his daughter ever being in a similar position.
“If anyone dares treat her like that, I’ll destroy him.” Harry had to force himself to unclench his fists. “But you’re underestimating her if you think hearing your story is going to make her look at you differently.”
“I hope so,” she said in a soft voice. “But what about you?”
“Everything is different now.” And he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy to unpack his feelings over both his and Molly’s roles in what had happened. But he knew one thing with absolute certainty. “No matter what happened in college, you’ve done a remarkable job raising Amelia.”
The last thing he expected was for her face to crumple again.
“Once the DNA test comes back tomorrow, once we know for sure that she’s yours,” she said, “I’m going to do absolutely everything I can to make sure you and Amelia can start to know each other and create your own special moments, your own memories. So that she can have the father I know she’s longed for her entire life. And for you…” She reached for his hand, without seeming to realize she’d done it. “For you to get to know the most wonderful girl in the entire world. Even if it means quitting my job and moving here so that you can be together.”
He knew he should be jumping at her offer, probably even making her put it in writing so that his lawyer could take it to a family-court judge as proof of her intentions, just in case. But it had been a hell of a long day for both of them, long enough that he wasn’t at all sure they were capable of thinking straight. Because as much as he wanted Amelia here in the city with him from this moment forward, he also knew the last thing any fifteen-year-old wanted was to be uprooted from her friends and school and life.
Finding her father out of the blue was change enough.
“We’ll figure out everything tomorrow,” he promised as he took their mugs and put them in the sink. “Let’s go to bed.”
He didn’t realize how the words sounded until two spots of pink appeared on her cheeks.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to stay here.”
“Of course I do. You’re Amelia’s mother. Where else would you go?” This wasn’t easy for either of them, but they needed to find a way to make it work. Whatever it took. “I’ve made up the room across from Amelia’s for you.”
“I think I could just lay my head right here on this island and fall asleep,” she said, obviously trying to cover for her reaction. “But your guest bed would be a lot more comfortable.”
The very last thing in the world either of them should be thinking about was sharing a bed. It figured, then, that he couldn’t stop thinking about it as she got her overnight bag out of her car, then followed him up the stairs.
“Good night, Molly.”
Even exhausted and wrung out by a day that had been crazier than any other, Molly was still the most radiantly beautiful woman he’d ever seen as she said, “Good night, Harry.”
* * *
Harry was too wound up to sleep. So just as he’d done his whole life when he needed to escape his thoughts and emotions, he decided to work. He should have finished the draft of the book he was writing about medieval knights six months ago, but he’d hit a wall halfway through and hadn’t been able to find his way forward. While he wasn’t pleased to be struggling with his work, perhaps focusing on battle strategy tonight would help settle him into a more rational space.
One where he could think more clearly about Molly and Amelia and what the future was going to look like from here on out.
As soon as he opened his laptop, an instant message from Alec popped up at the top of his screen. Harry should have guessed his family would be waiting to hear from him. And maybe that was the real reason he’d gone online. Not to escape in his work, but to be able to turn to someone he loved the way they’d always turned to him whenever their lives went sideways.
Alec: Molly show up yet?
Harry: About an hour ago. She honestly didn’t know Amelia was mine.
But she had confessed that she’d wished Amelia was his daughter. Hearing that had meant so much to him. It wouldn’t make up for the years they’d lost, but at the very least, he was glad to know Molly thought he would have been a good father.
Alec: How the hell could she not think that?
Harry: It’s complicated, but I believe her. So will you, once I explain. It’s too late tonight to go into it all, so you’ll have to trust me on it for now.
Harry wasn’t planning to give his family all the nitty-gritty details, but he would tell them enough to understand why Molly wasn’t to blame for Amelia only just now appearing in their lives.
Alec: From what I remember about Molly, it was hard to believe she would have kept you and Amelia apart. In a strange way, this actually makes more sense.
Clearly, Alec losing his business partner, falling in love with Cordelia, and abandoning his career as an aviation mogul to become a chef had changed his brother deeply. Enough that Alec was willing to see there could be more to the situation than what lay on the surface.
Harry: We’re going to do another DNA test tomorrow to make absolutely sure she’s mine.
Alec: She is. I have a medical friend who can help.
Harry smiled. Alec wanted Amelia in the family just as badly as the rest of them. If there was even the slightest chance that she wasn’t…
No, he couldn’t let himself think that. Couldn’t find his daughter one night and lose her the next.
Harry: Thanks for checking in.
Alec: You looked after me more times than I can count. Now it’s my turn. Whatever you need, I’m here.
Harry didn’t need his brother to thank him for anything he’d done. They were family. No other reasons were needed. And yet, after Molly had yanked the lid off such a huge box of memories tonight, it helped to hear it.
Especially when Harry had made some pretty big confessions of his own. Not only that she’d been the love of his life, but also that losing her had broken him.
Alec: Go get some sleep so that you’re fresh for your first full day with your daughter. She’s one hell of a kid, by the way.
His brother signed off, and Harry took Alec’s advice, closing the laptop and getting under the covers.
And despite the nearly inconceivable stress of the day, thinking of Amelia had him smiling as he fell asleep.