NINETEEN

Hooch

Well, that didn’t quite go to plan. I snort a bump off the back of my hand while I watch Mel cool the truck’s engine with a hose. If the police are out and about in the chopper, they’ll be using heat detection to track us down now that it’s night.

Dagne sits off to the side on a hay bale, her legs folded beneath her as she weaves a few dry sticks together. Despite the calm she exudes, there’s a definite unease beneath the surface. Feeling a bit more bulletproof thanks to the coke, I head across and take a seat beside her. She shuffles across a little to give me room.

“You holding up okay?”

“I’m hiding out in a barn after both you and your sister shot a cop apiece, so yeah, it’s just another day really.” She shrugs dismissively.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this.” Yet again, here I was thinking I was doing what was best, but in reality all it did was hurt those around me. “I’ll get ears to the ground and find out if it’s okay for you to cut loose.” I slip off the bale, intending to retreat to my corner, well and truly whipped.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she murmurs, stopping me in my tracks. “I just want to know what the fuck is going on here.”

I glance over at Mel as she now cools my bike. The sudden change in temperature isn’t all that great for the engine, but it beats yet another reason to be on death row, any day. A year alone, and she’s just as forward and confident as ever. The isolation didn’t do a thing to dampen her spirit, and yet, here I am falling to pieces when I had everyone and everything within reach.

“The club put Mel into seclusion around a year ago to avoid a hit on her life. Even I didn’t know where she was. We figured it was best if none of us knew the truth.”

“So how did you find her?”

“Paid a guy to track her down. Took him a while, but with the insider info I could give him he managed to pull a miracle outta his ass.”

Dagne looks across to my sister, her eyes soft and shoulders relaxed. “That must have been hard to do; let her go without knowing if you’d ever see her again.”

“It was better than the alternative.”

She reaches out and tugs my hand, urging me to sit down again. “Who had the hit on her? And why?”

I relent and resume my place beside her. “A pretty fuckin’ ruthless drug lord by the name of Carlos Redmond.” I give the information a moment to sink in before I explain. “She was targeted as part of a plan to blackmail us into handing over our club.”

“Wow.”

“Pretty extreme, huh?” My chest pains at knowing what comes next in my dark fairytale.

“But she’s okay, though.”

“For now.”

“The drug lord? He still after her?”

I chuckle. “Nope. He’s six-foot under and in just as many pieces and locations.”

She twitches a weak smile. I fall a little in love with her acceptance of things she doesn’t understand. I’m telling her shit that would make a Hollywood movie seem tame, and yet she accepts it with a carefree attitude.

“The feds want her now.”

“Because she killed that guy back there?” Dagne brings her knees up, huddling them to her chest.

“No. Because she’s proof of what I did.”

Her head tips to one side as she frowns. “You’ve lost me.”

“The message I needed you to get out to my mom?”

“Was her address?”

“Yeah.” I sigh, dragging a hand over my face. Fucking coke does jack shit when the subject is this grim. “There’s a DEA agent back home who has leverage over me. I’m not lettin’ that fucker win, no matter what. I needed somebody to know where Mel is in case I don’t come back.”

“Back from where?”

“State penitentiary.” I rub the tackiness from my palms onto my jeans. “I get sent inside, we don’t have enough connections left to ensure my safety, even if I did get my sentence reduced to life.”

“Seriously?”

I give her a wane smile. “Seriously.”

“I thought that shit only happened in movies for added drama. Do they not have rules and procedures in place to keep inmates from attacking each other?”

I shake my head. “None that work. Real life is so much worse than anythin’ you’ll ever see on the silver screen, honey.”

“I’m starting to get that.” She stares off across the barn and draws her lips tightly together. “What’s the plan now, then?”

“Get you and Mel somewhere safe. I’ll go underground for a while, let Crackers run the club while I’m gone, and make sure the heat stays on me and me only.”

She sighs. “Why do you do this, this life?”

“Why do you do yours?”

Dagne ducks her chin, nodding slightly as she clearly accepts my point.

“Everyone asks those kinds of questions as though there’s a different option,” I say, “but in reality, how many of us actually have a choice in what we do?”

“We all have the power to change our situation.”

“But not who we are.” I rise and cross over to the far side of the barn before the conversation gets any deeper, ignoring the pointed look I’m getting from Mel.

I don’t need my little sister to give me a grilling; I already know what she has to say. I’m telling it to myself.

I shouldn’t have been so selfish and used Dagne like this.

I should think more about how my actions affect others.

I should fucking well ask for help.

If I’d done that last one, then I could damn well lay money on the fact we wouldn’t be here now, hiding out in a fucking barn. Without a doubt, Crackers will have the same thing to say. I should have taken the threat to the table when Donovan first cornered me with the insider info he’d managed to get a hold of. How, I still don’t know. But finding the leak in our system hardly seems a priority when I’ll now be wanted in my home state.

Hoo-fucking-rah. Living the dream.

Mel takes up position next to Dagne, talking quietly enough that I can’t hear … about me most likely. I watch the two of them for a moment, finding a clean section of floor to recline on. Legs stretched out before me and my shoulders propped against the wall, I pull my phone out and praise the fact I left my everyday one at home today, figuring I’d only need the burner I used for Dagne.

Praying like hell I’ve remembered his number right, I dial Crackers and wait on him to pick up.

“Hello?” he answers skeptically.

I close my eyes in relief. “Hey, brother.”

“What’s going down?” I wouldn’t be calling him on an unknown number unless there was some sort of trouble afoot.

“Got myself in a spot of bother,” I say with a hint of humor in my voice. “Could you check the lines, see if there’s an APB out for me?”

He sighs heavily down the line, the tick-tick of the lighter in the background indicating he’s sparking up. “What’ve you done?”

“May have lost a couple of bullets into an officer this afternoon.”

“Fuck’s sake. Dare I ask why?”

“Family issues.” I glance across at Mel, my heart heavy at what we’ve been through.

“You ain’t got no family anymore, brother.” Crackers pauses, presumably to take a drag while the penny drops. “Oh, shit. Really?”

“Yeah. I tracked down Mel.”

“Why the fuck is this the first I’m hearin’ about it?”

I pack away his hurt to deal with later. “I wanted to be sure things were level before I brought her home.”

“Level?” he scoffs. “As in, you didn’t trust us.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” he snaps. “You’ve been distant since Carlos shot Judas, and yeah, we got that, brother. You lost your old man and your baby sister in the same day—anybody would have caved. But fuck man, you never came back to us, you just went further in on yourself and to be honest,” he pauses for effect, “there are murmurs goin’ around about what you’re up to. Nobody sees you half the time. You hide out in your room, or disappear on the road without notice.” He sighs. “People are gettin’ uncomfortable. You’re supposed to be their leader.”

“Uncomfortable, how?” Mutiny? A planned reshuffle?

“You don’t share a fuckin’ thing with us anymore, which makes people wonder if you’re hidin’ shit. We’re supposed to be a unit, brothers in arms, and here you are sulking in the shadows and shuttin’ everyone out. We can’t help you if you won’t let us near you, man.”

“Yeah, well, I’m askin’ for help now, ain’t I?” The girls both look across at my raised tone. “Just take the head of the table until I get back, would you?”

“How long you gonna be gone?”

“Depends on if there’s an APB or not. Ring me back when you find out.” I disconnect before he has a chance to say anything else.

Fucker has my number. Also has my chair, now. He can use both however he pleases. To say I’m over the whining and bitching that I’m not transparent enough for them is an understatement.

“Everything okay?” Mel crouches down to my left, hands loose between her knees.

“Fine.” I check the time on the phone’s display. “We’ve got a few hours to kill, so I suggest you girls try to get some sleep. You’ll probably be travelling in the small hours.”

“And you?” She narrows her gaze on me. “Where you goin’?”

I shrug. “I really don’t know, sis. Take it as it comes.”

She drops to her ass with a puff of dirt and hay dust. “This sucks.”

“You don’t say.” I reach out, pulling her to my side. Feels too good to have her back close enough to hold.

“It sucks most that I just get you back, and now you’re leaving me. We’re just switching places, really, aren’t we?”

“Whatever keeps us alive, little sis.” I hook her in and place my head to hers.

“Yeah, I know.” She pulls away a little, gesturing to where Dagne has curled up on the hay bale with a sweatshirt as a blanket. “I’m just worried about her. She’s not as used to this kind of chaos as we are.”

“Which is why I need you to make me a promise, girl.”

“What?”

I suck in a breath at the thought of what’s to come. “You gotta make sure she sticks around long enough that she’s still here for me when I get back. I’ve got to set things straight, make it up to her for what I’ve done.”

“That could be months, years even, Hooch.”

“I know, but she doesn’t deserve to be left hangin’ without a proper apology.”

Mel’s gaze hardens as she pushes herself up with a hand to my chest. “What are you not tellin’ me about her, big brother?”

“Nothing I know how to explain.”

Let alone understand.