Gabriel was thankful for the silence as they walked back to the hotel. The dancing had cast a sort of spell over him and he felt content, at peace. Was that what Nyalla had meant when she’d said sensory experiences were often a human’s path to grace?

This whole nightmare of being human…perhaps it was serving a much-needed purpose. He now saw them in a different light. The music, the dancing, the cool night breeze, the moonlight glistening off the water, the feel of his feet sinking into the sand, of the warm water surging in to cover his toes, then sliding back out again — it was downright meditative. He hadn’t felt this way since before the rebellion began in Aaru. It was wonderful. And so was Nyalla’s arm brushing against his. He reached out and took her hand, feeling the need to touch her, to have a connection with another human who was experiencing the same balanced, centered, one-with-the-creator feeling.

In front of the hotel she tugged him over to a chickie surrounding a short coconut tree and let go of his hand to plop down in one of the chairs. He sat beside her and they both stared out at the ebb and flow of the ocean.

It reminded him of Aaru. It reminded him of his uncertain future, of the uncertain future all the angels faced. They were locked out of Aaru, possibly forever. He’d never see his homeland again. And there was a chance that he’d be trapped as a human, without wings or grace, forever. Actually, not forever. If the spell didn’t wear off, he’d live out a normal human life. He’d age, get sick, have to deal with an increasingly feeble body, and in forty or fifty years, he’d die. A mighty archangel, banished from his homeland, dead in a blink of an eye after spending the last decades of his life in this fragile form. The peace he’d been feeling vanished, and Gabriel found himself on the edge of panic.

“Are you okay? Gabriel?”

He felt her touch, grounding him and pulling him from the edge. Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his breathing, concentrating on Nyalla’s hand on his arm. “You don’t need to call me Gabriel. Just call me Gabe.”

The suffix seemed silly at this point. ‘El’ was a title given to the most powerful angels. He may have earned the title long ago, but it just didn’t apply when he was a human. Even so, Nyalla should be granted permission to address him informally just as his siblings did. She’d seen him at his worst, was helping him navigate this human world, was keeping his secret. In his eyes, she was just as much a part of his family as his brothers and sister.

More. Because as much as he loved his siblings, had loved them for the four billion years of his life, what he felt for Nyalla was strangely different — more intense, more sensory, more human. More.

She didn’t respond to his request, so he opened his eyes and looked over at her. Her mouth had twisted, like she was clenching it to keep it still. Her eyes were shiny with wetness and sorrow. She knew. She knew every emotion he was battling, every bit of fear and grief that was racing through his very human body. Then suddenly her chin lifted, a smile trembling on her lips.

“Can I call you G-man instead?” she teased.

She was trying to bring some lightness, some cheer back to the situation. And improbably it worked.

He quirked one of his eyebrows up. “No, you most definitely cannot call me G-man.”

She grinned. “But you need a nickname. Sam has several for you. Maybe I’ll use one of those.”

“By all that’s holy, don’t. I’m sure the Iblis has all sorts of slanderous and vulgar descriptors for me, but there is no need to sully your lips with them. Please, Gabe will be fine.”

And it would be. He was an ancient and powerful archangel, emphasis on was, but it felt right for her to have the privilege of calling him by a name that no one besides his siblings was allowed to.

“Then I’ll call you Gabe.” Her hand slid down his arm and her fingers wrapped around the top of his hand, tightening for a quick squeeze before she let go.

He missed her hand. There was something about physical contact that was incredibly important to him in this form. He’d never realized how much of an emotional connection touch fostered, but now, he wanted her hand on his. He wanted to scoot his chair over so his leg touched hers. He wanted to bend close as he spoke so he could feel her warmth as well as the brush of her soft hair against his face.

This being human was so alien to him. It was hard to sort out the flood of emotions and sensations. As an angel, he was used to processing incredibly complex thought in an instant. He could separate himself into aspects, and be several places at once. He’d always considered humans to be lower, less-evolved life forms, yet they had had challenges he’d never imagined. Every slight change in temperature, each tingle and itch of the millions of nerve endings in the skin, the myriad of scents, of colors, of sounds. It was excruciating to sort through the enormous input and make sense of it all, let alone try to attempt higher level thought at the same time. He hadn’t been human for more than a few hours, and already he was awed at their ability to manage.

But it was far too beautiful a night to ponder paths to enlightenment, not when the ocean beckoned to them.

* * *

“Let’s swim.”

“What?” Nyalla couldn’t have heard Gabe correctly. Did the angel just propose they swim? He’d been leaning close to her, and she’d thought for a moment that he might actually kiss her, but instead he wanted to swim?

“I love the water. Whenever I’m here from Aaru, I spend most of my time in the ocean or a lake or river.”

Nyalla turned to look at him. “Water is my favorite thing too. When I was a slave to the elves in Hel, I’d sneak out to swim in the creeks and lakes, but I’d never seen anything like the ocean until I came here. It was love at first sight. Every chance I get I head to the beach to surf, or kayak, or swim, or snorkel, or scuba dive. In the summer, I probably spend more time in Sam’s pool than on dry land.”

He turned surprised blue-gray eyes to her. “You were a slave to the elves in Hel? You fell through one of the elven traps? How long were you there?”

“I was a changeling, stolen from my crib. Only instead of being replaced with a dead elven baby, in my place they put Amber. She’s a half elf/half succubus, and her mother was trying to hide her to keep her alive. She grew up as Amber Lowrey, and I grew up with the elves. Eighteen years I was there.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was low and husky. “We never thought the elves would be capable of this. There are so many humans that we never suspected. And, of course, no one enlightened us to the fact that the elves were enslaving humans.” He shook his head. “Not that we would have believed it had word of these doings reached us. We thought the elves could do no wrong. Our blindness led to so much human suffering.”

She stood. “It’s time for you angels to learn that you’re not personally responsible for every little thing that happens to the human race. And, quite honestly, we’d do just fine if you were to butt out and let us forge our own way into the future. I don’t want to talk any more about my life with the elves. I want to play in the water. Let’s swim.”

He got to his feet and looked down at her. He was so close. It made Nyalla realize how tall and broad-shouldered he was. She put a hand on his chest just to feel his heart beat and remembered how it felt to rest her cheek there as they danced, feeling the soft cotton of his shirt against her, the solid muscle underneath, the thump of his heart. If he were human, she’d probably be naked and sweaty with him right now, but he was an angel. She’d had enough of angels. Nils had always been willing to have sex, participating enthusiastically then afterward bemoaning the sin of it all, making her feel as if she were a horrible temptress. She got the feeling Gabriel would be the same. And she’d swore that never again would she bed a man who blamed everything and everyone but himself for his sexual activity, who made her feel somehow filthy. Never again.

But Gabe was different. He seemed so much stronger, both physically and in personality, than Nils. If he were to ask, if he were to show the slightest interest, she’d say ‘yes’.

Foolish girl. You’re just going to get hurt again. But then Nyalla remembered his erection when they’d tussled in her hotel room, and when she’d duct taped him to the bed. Even if he broke her heart, she’d still have sex with this angel, and do a lot more with him. It wasn’t just sex. She wanted to dance with him, show him what it was like to be human, to share her love of the ocean with a kindred spirit.

“Maybe tomorrow morning we can surf, or paddleboard, or rent some sea kayaks. I so want to scuba dive with you, but you’d need to take one of those tourist classes before we head out and I don’t think we’d have time tomorrow to do that and get a dive in. Maybe we can snorkel instead.”

He put his hand on top of hers, pressing her palm firmly against his chest. “For as long as I am human, I’m in your hands. Show me your world, Nyalla. Tell me about those activities. Which one is your favorite?”

Nyalla stepped closer, putting her other hand on his waist and looking up into his beautiful eyes. “Surfing is standing on a flat board as the waves push it to shore, so it’s like walking on water — or standing on water. Paddleboarding is similar, although you’re paddling around on top of the ocean instead of riding the waves in. Kayaking is a small boat you sit in and paddle around. Snorkeling is where you have a tube to breathe through and you swim through shallows, looking at the plants and fish underwater. But my favorite is scuba diving. You have a tank of oxygen to breathe while you can swim down deep in the ocean. I’ve seen shipwrecks, fish, coral. It’s the closest I can come to being part of the ocean. I went on a dive when I first got to Aruba, and I hope to have time to do a few more before I leave.”

He was silent a moment, then spoke in hushed tones. “It grieves me that you can’t experience the ocean the way I have. This Scooby-diving is nowhere near the experience of actually becoming the ocean.”

“Someday I will become the ocean,” Nyalla told him. “I want my body to be given to the ocean when I pass. Although, I hope that’s a long time in the future. There’s a whole lot of things I’d like to do, to experience, before I die.”

There was a moment that passed between them, some spark. She leaned against him and his arms came around her, his mouth brushing the top of her head.

“You don’t want to talk about your life with the elves? Well, I don’t want to talk about your death or what you want done with your remains,” he said. “Let’s swim and enjoy today, not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow.”

He was so very right. Nyalla nodded against his chest. Gabriel looped his arm around her waist and walked beside her down to the edge of the surf. Nyalla watched the waves come in over his toes, wetting his jeans up to mid-calf.

“Aren’t you going to take your clothes off?” She pulled away from him to yank her dress over her head and wade in with bra and panties.

That’s when she saw his face, saw the perplexed and somewhat sad expression.

“I guess I should. They’re the only clothes I have, and I just realized I can’t just create more, or instantly dry these ones.”

Her heart twisted. “There’s a washer and dryer right down the hall from our room. I’ll do laundry when we get back, then tomorrow we’ll buy you a few extra sets of clothes, including a pair of swim trunks.”

He nodded and backed out of the water, shedding his pants and pulling off his shirt. Then he folded each one carefully before placing them on the sand. With a sigh, he picked up her dress and did the same while Nyalla laughed at his crazy need to have everything neat and tidy. When he was done, he turned and strode into the ocean.

And at that moment, she could do nothing besides stare. Holy guacamole, this angel made one incredible human. Nils had been hot, but Gabe was downright smoking. Every muscle was defined and tanned. She’d seen a lot of guys naked. She’d seen a Fallen angel naked. But Gabriel set the standard for which all men would be judged going forward. And it was going to be a nearly impossible standard to meet.

He walked toward her through the water, adjusting his red plaid boxer shorts as the water hit above his knees. Nyalla couldn’t help her gaze from shifting downward, noting that he was quite obviously anatomically correct. And just as impressive there, from what she could tell.

“By all that’s holy.” Gabriel grimaced. “I think some of my appendages just retreated nearly a foot into my abdomen.”

She laughed. “Wimp. It’s not that cold. You should try swimming up north. The water there is at least twenty degrees cooler.”

“I’m assuming I’ll get used to it and those dangly things will descend into the proper place once more?”

He adjusted his boxers again and Nyalla stared, anticipating how they’d look wet and clinging to him when he exited the water.

Wait, boxers?

“Why are you wearing plaid boxers?” She asked. “I would have figured you angels would be commando, or briefs. Or maybe even a thong.” Okay, maybe not a thong, but a girl could dream.

He looked down at the article of clothing in question then tilted his head. “Rafi told me they were appropriate garments to wear under pants. He said these in particular were well suited to my personality.”

Ah. Raphael was almost as much of a trickster as Sam. Although he was right, the boxers did suit Gabe. They had an old-fashioned, modest quality to them that made a girl wonder what was underneath. Sometimes it was what was hidden that enticed the most.

“Well, I like them. I’ll need to pick up some more, so I don’t need to do laundry every day.” She waded out farther. “Are you coming? Are we going to swim or just float around in the surf? The waves here are gentle, not like the crazy pounding stuff on the Atlantic side of the island.”

He smiled fondly. “I remember. That’s where I was when I first spied you. And I’m not sure how much farther I should wade out. I don’t know if I can swim or not. Isn’t that silly? An angel who has an affinity for water, who can become the sea, and I don’t know if I can swim.”

Nyalla hesitated then moved back in closer to shore. As much as she was confident that Gabriel would have retained his abilities in the water, she wasn’t skilled in lifesaving. And the idea of trying to pull a guy of Gabe’s size from the water, was frightening. “We’ll try the pool tomorrow and see how you do. If you can swim, I’ll sign you up for that day class in scuba diving and we can go together before we leave Aruba. There’s a cool fishing boat wreck on the Atlantic side I want to see.

He eyes stayed on her as she waded along, her hand skimming the tops of the waves as they rolled in toward the sand. “In the water, you’re like a goddess.”

She couldn’t help but smile. As hokey as his words sounded, she could tell the feeling behind them was genuine. But it would still be fun to flirt a bit with him. “Is that your pick-up line? Because it’s working.”

“It’s your vibration pattern. I can see it. I couldn’t when that wand broke and turned me into a human, but now I can, and it’s different than it was when I first met you. Here, for just a moment, you achieved something that angels strive their whole lives to obtain. If we’re lucky, we might manage a brief glimpses of balance, of oneness, but you just slid into it so easily, like it was your birthright.”

She shrugged, squirming awkwardly, well aware that her face was probably bright red at the extravagant compliment. For an angel, especially an angel with Gabriel’s reputation, praising her vibration pattern was more meaningful than saying she was beautiful or had a sexy body. “Oh, you player, you,” she teased. “You’re just trying to sweet talk your way into my pants.”

“You’re not wearing pants,” he replied.

“Yes I am.” She snapped the elastic of her panties.

He eyed them, a spark of remembrance lighting up his face. A smile curled up one side of his mouth, giving him a rakish, naughty look. “Ah yes, the tiny pants. I’m very familiar with them after folding at least a dozen pairs and organizing them by color in your dresser drawer.” He took a step toward her, an odd silver color to his eyes. “And I remember having a pair of them shoved into my mouth as well.”

“Would you like them as a souvenir? A little something to remember me by when you’re an angel once more?”

His eyes were definitely silver. Silver and an odd ice blue. “Yes, I would like to have them as well as the ones you’re wearing right now.”

Was he…did he understand how very sexy this conversation had become? She had nothing to lose beyond looking like a total fool, so she reached down and peeled off the panties, tossing them to him.

He caught them midair, and grinned. “That top piece, too. I need the set, you know.”

“The bra? If I get arrested for public nudity, you need to find a way to get me out of jail,” she said as she unsnapped the garment.

“You were naked on the other side of the island this morning, so clearly there are no laws against public nudity here.” He twirled the panties around his finger. “Come on. I want that bra.”

Technically she could get in trouble for being completely naked here instead of just topless sunbathing. The other side of the island wasn’t populated enough for her to worry. But it was dark, and there was no one around to see, so she took the bra off and tossed it to him, feeling her nipples harden in the cool night air.

“They won’t fit you, you know,” she called out.

He laughed and held the bra up to his chest. “No, they most certainly won’t. But they will make lovely souvenirs.”

Nyalla eyed the wet boxers clinging to his body. “I need a souvenir too.”

She wanted them. And more than that, she wanted Gabriel out of them.

He looked down. “Souvenir of what? I didn’t tie you to the bed and shove my under clothing in your mouth.”

Heat flooded through her. Nyalla squirmed, desperately wanting to touch herself. Actually she wanted him to touch her. Could that be where this whole thing was leading? Oh Goddess, she hoped so.

“You should do that. I’ve been a very bad girl, and you did say you were going to punish me. I think tying me to the bed and putting your boxer shorts in my mouth isn’t enough though. I need to be naked. And you need to be naked. And there should be lots of touching involved.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Nyalla, are you suggesting that we create offspring together? You need to know that you should present your petition in writing along with all the attributes you’d like me to contribute to the child and the terms of our arrangement. It will take me several months to consider your request, and then I may counter with suggested modifications.”

He was teasing, and it would have been funny except for one horrible truth that crashed down on her, making her remember that eighteen years of slavery would never completely be behind her.

“It wouldn’t matter. The elves made sure of that. I can’t have children. I’ll never have children.”

His muscles tensed, the silvery color in his eyes fading to dark gray. “What do you mean? What did they do?”

Nyalla turned around to look out to the ocean. “That’s another thing I don’t want to talk about.”

She heard the splash of water and felt him pull her against him, her back against his bare chest, his arms wrapped around underneath her breasts. “I’m changing the rules here. I want you to tell me what happened, what they did to you. And in return I don’t get to keep the painful parts of my life from you. Total honesty. No topics off the table.”

“Even me talking about my inevitable death, or sex, or how good that fried grouper was tonight?”

His breath had caught at her mention of death, but he relaxed as she continued the sentence. “Agreed. Now what exactly did the elves do to you that you can never have children?”

She leaned her head back against him. “It wasn’t just me. All the human slaves were rendered infertile by an elven spell at the start of puberty. They worked it so we still matured and retained the correct hormone balance, but we can’t have children. When Sam brought me here, one of the first things I did was see a doctor to find out if the spell was reversible. It isn’t. The doctor was so sad, so sympathetic that he needed to tell a young woman she’d never have children of her own. Then he went on to say I could always adopt or find a surrogate with donor eggs. It’s not just that I don’t ovulate, but my uterus won’t even allow for pregnancy. The elves were very thorough, no doubt thinking a clever sorcerer would come up with a way around the spell and then we’d be able to conceive and bear children.”

She felt a drop of moisture hit her shoulder. Was he crying? An archangel was crying?

“But you said the elves loved children. Why would they do such a thing?” His voice sounded like he’d been cut with a thousand razor blades.

“They do, but we’re useful livestock to them. Children would divide our loyalties. We’d want to run away, to rebel and rise up against our elven masters. They knew that if they separated us from our children, sold them off, we’d not be passive. It was easier for them to render us infertile and get more slaves through the traps and changeling swaps.”

“By the creator, Nyalla, I want to kill them all for this.” Another drop hit her shoulder.

“It’s okay. I’ve made my peace with it. I have friends with babies that I see and cuddle anytime I wish. I can always adopt or foster a child. It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay, but she didn’t want him to be upset. There was nothing anyone could do to change what had happened, and his grief was making it all worse, not better.

He pulled away from her and she shivered, suddenly cold. Had he believed her lie and figured the whole thing wasn’t a big deal? Was it all too much for him to handle? She’d never told anyone besides her brother Wyatt and Sam. She took the birth control pills, used condoms, and pretended to everyone else that she was a normal young woman, waiting for the right man to come along to marry and start a family with. She’d shared something with him that was so incredibly personal, that was still a gaping raw wound in her heart. She’d shared this and she hadn’t even known this angel twenty-four hours.

“Here.”

His arms came around her once more, and this time they held a bundle of plaid fabric. His boxer shorts. And the fact that he hadn’t neatly folded them spoke to how distressed he was at her tale.

And now she was the one crying. And it wasn’t just little teardrops, but big ugly blotchy-face sobs.

The angel hesitated a moment, as if he wasn’t sure what to do, then he spun her around and hugged her close, stroking her back, the boxer shorts, as well as her own underclothes, still in his hand.

“I’m sorry you had that happen to you, Nyalla. I wish I had the power to go back in time and save you from that whole experience — all the slaves in Hel. Well, all of them, but especially you.”

Then he let her cry, making soothing noises, kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back until she felt the grief ebb away like the tide…and felt something else.

She arched her back so she could look up at him. “Do you have a boner?”

“I’m assuming you don’t mean the skeletal remains of an animal and are instead referring to the fact that when you’re near like this, blood tends to leave the rest of my body and head straight to the appendage between my legs,” he commented dryly.

She choked out a laugh. “Yes, I’ve been told it has a life of its own, and that you have no control over your actions because of that particular organ.”

He made a huffing noise. “Don’t be ridiculous. This doesn’t happen when I’m around Snip or Terrelle, or that waitress who brought your dinner. And it went down pretty fast when those maids came into your room and found me tied to your bed. I absolutely do have control over my actions, regardless what my body parts are doing. And if this appendage springs to life around you, then I should probably pay attention to what my subconscious is trying to tell me.”

She lifted her head. “And what is your subconscious trying to tell you?”

“That right now I’m a human, and this is a very human way of my body agreeing with my mind and my heart that you are an amazing woman, Nyalla.”

“And if you weren’t human right now?”

He sighed. “I wouldn’t have this ‘boner’ trying to poke through your thigh, but I’d still feel the same way about you. Angels demonstrate their affection one way, humans another. And right now I’m human.”

“So am I. And I feel the same way about you,” she said. Then she reached up around his neck, and pulled his mouth down to meet hers.