Chapter Eight

 

 

HE WAS humming. Mick smiled as he walked into the break room. Wow, did he feel good. They’d done it again, and he’d stayed later than he should have and had to race back to his place to take Jezebel home. She’d looked at him funny but hadn’t said much.

That was three days ago. They’d been on duty ever since. A couple of the guys were sitting at the table, but no Jerry. He couldn’t help looking for him.

He opened the extra fridge and pulled out a sparkling water, twisted the top, and took a swig. Might as well go work on equipment.

A few minutes later he was hunkered down polishing chrome on the big engine. It was fun. Soothing.

“Hey, Mick.”

He didn’t have to look. “Hi, TL.” The guy always seemed to want to be wherever Mick was. It made him antsy.

TL started rubbing the brightwork on the back end of the rig practically next to Mick. “How’d you like the ball?”

Mick frowned. “Uh, I got sick, so not so much.”

“You probably got sick from sitting with those fags.” He laughed at his own joke.

He just had to keep quiet.

TL leaned over toward him. “I gotta tell you, man, you’re my hero.”

“Why?”

“That girl you were with was the prettiest chick at the ball. Man, she’s a looker.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty.”

“Did you get any?” He barked a laugh.

Mick stiffened. Don’t encourage him.

“I was surprised you let her dance with that fag.”

His fist tightened on the cleaning cloth. “Jezebel doesn’t take orders from me. She can dance with whoever she wants. And I wasn’t much company.” Okay, calm down.

“But it made me sick seeing that pretty girl being touched by someone who’d stick his cock in another guy’s ass. I mean, that’s disgusting.”

“Come on, TL, lots of people do that. It’s no big deal.”

TL stopped shining and stared at Mick. “What the hell are you saying? Who does that except perverts and fags?”

Damn, why had he said that? “Just people. You know, guys do it to women too.”

“Yeah, pervert guys.”

“And guys in school and jail do that too.”

“Right. Horny, liberal, intellectual pervert fags and criminals.”

The voice came from behind Mick. “What are you ranting about, TL?”

TL looked up. “Hi, Straight. I’m just not believing that Mick here is defending a bunch of pervert fags who want to stick their cocks in assholes. I mean shit, that is dis-gusting.”

There was something scary about the new guy. Chills ran up Mick’s back.

Straight’s voice was low and smooth. “I’m sure Mick already knows that the only people who assfuck men are fags.”

Damn. “That’s not so.”

“Oh really?”

Mick stared at the chrome. His hair shone back at him. “It’s not a big deal. Guys do it for, you know, relief and stuff.”

“Who told you that?”

TL brayed, “Must have been a fag! That’s who. You been hanging out with that pervert Wallender too much, Mick.”

Mick frowned. “Nobody told me. I just read it, you know, online.”

Straight squatted next to Mick. He concentrated on not looking at him. Maybe he’d go away.

“There’s a lot of propaganda written by homos and homo lovers online, Mick. They want us to believe that what they do is natural, but we all know that it’s forbidden. It’s unholy. The Bible spells it out real clearly. I’ll bet you can quote chapter and verse, Mick.”

Mick shook his head. “Jesus never said a thing about it.”

“But Leviticus….”

“Prohibits lying with mankind as with womankind.”

“Yes. Very clear.”

He looked at Straight. “Yeah, but I work on Sundays and nobody condemns me, and I know a lot of people who call themselves Christian who are divorced, and nobody stones them, and I’ve seen TL here eat shellfish, which is anathema.” He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t talk to me about Leviticus.”

“So you think these fags are doing right?”

Damn. He wanted to go home. “I didn’t say that.”

“You practically did.”

Mick stood up and Straight came up beside him. Mick towered over the older guy, and for once he was glad. “Don’t tell me what I mean or what I said, Straight. You’re not my father.” He walked back into the building and stowed the cleaning supplies real easy like, but damn, his heart beat so hard he couldn’t hear.

If the only guys who fucked other men in the ass were fags, then what did that make him?

 

 

JERRY THREW his keys on the entry table, walked over to the sectional, and fell on his back on the soft cushions. Well, shit. Big mistake. He stood up and switched to the easy chair. Oh, great. Now he got to stare at the couch. The couch where Mick Cassidy, straight homo hater, had fucked Jerry’s brains out—twice. This, of course, meant he was probably neither straight nor a homo hater, but that idea might not have occurred to Mick.

How was Jerry supposed to feel about that? Hell, how did he feel about anything?

A soft knock on the door brought him out of the chair. Mick? Did he want it to be Mick?

Well, shit fire if he didn’t!

He walked to the door and peeked out, then opened it. “Hi, Rod.”

“Hello, darling. I came to check on your pretty ass. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Rod walked past him into the big living room and sat—yep, right on the sectional.

“Want something to drink?”

“Sure. Iced tea if you have it. It’s starting to feel summery out there.”

Jerry went into the kitchen, grabbed two glasses, put in ice, and poured from the big jug of sweet tea he’d bought at TJ’s.

Did he want to have this conversation? Yeah, Rodney always helped him figure things out. He carried the tea in and handed one glass to Rod, then sat in the chair.

“So, Andres told me you guys didn’t hit it off.”

Jerry shook his head. “Not so, man. I like Andres a lot. I’m just kind of mixed-up or something.”

Rod stared over the rim of his glass in mid-drink. “Mixed up with Mick Cassidy?”

“Who told you that?”

“Andres. He said you ran out after Mick, didn’t come back for quite a while, and when you did, you smelled like sex.”

“He’s certainly a blabbermouth.”

“Hey, he’s sitting there posing in the nude with nothing to do but talk. Besides, I asked how the date went. That’s a pretty important piece of dating information.”

Jerry sipped his drink. “Yeah. This is, like, the most confusing thing I ever got into, and that’s saying something, man.”

“So, what? You blew him?”

Jerry shook his head. “No. We started with a jackoff and worked up to fucking. Oh, not at the party. Later.”

“You are shitting me! Mick Cassidy?”

“Yeah. The strange thing is that we think of him as this nasty homophobe, but he’s actually kind of innocent.”

Rod opened his mouth and Jerry held up a hand. “He was raised by this queer-hating preacher, and he never heard anything but hate. He’s trying to sort through what he’s been taught versus what he sees in front of him.”

“Like you, you mean?”

“Yeah. And I think the guy is actually gay, but he doesn’t know it. He honestly doesn’t know. He’s not attracted to women, he only likes to watch anal porn, and he took to fucking me like I took to a surfboard.”

“I’m blown away.”

“Yeah, me too. But I did this thing.”

“What? What did you do?”

“When I jerked him off at the ball, I told him it was no big deal. Lots of guys do it. I didn’t want him getting all weird about his attraction to me. He swallowed that whole. I was glad because I figured the guy was just horny, frustrated, and needed an outlet. Then he showed up the next day wanting more.”

“That’s when you fucked.”

“Yeah.” Jerry wiped a hand over his face. Just thinking of it turned him on. “But now I don’t know what to say to him or what to do. I avoided him for three days on duty, and that was no easy thing.”

“It’s always tough playing with straight guys. You know that.”

“Yeah, but he’s not straight.”

“He is in his mind, and that’s what counts.”

“I guess.”

“The question is, how do you feel?”

Shit, that was the question. “Confused. I… I kind of like the guy.”

“Kind of?”

“The sex blew my mind, man.”

“There’s lots of great sex in the world without the complications of a screwed-up gay guy who thinks he’s straight and would have to go against everything he believes to be with you. That’s masochistic, darling.”

“That means, like, bad to myself, right?”

Rod nodded.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Man, that made him sad.

Rod looked at him with his pretty eyes. “You seriously like the big asshole, don’t you?”

He sighed. “Yeah. Why is that, do you think?” He laughed.

“I have no way to judge. I’ve never seen his better side. But I have to say, if anyone could bring this guy to heel, it’s you.”

“Heel?”

“Tame him.”

“Why me?”

“Because I suspect that Mick Cassidy needs a friend as well as a lover, and there’s no better friend than you.”

Whoa. That was the most excellent thing Rod could have ever said.

“But, darling, don’t be surprised at anything he does.”

“What do you mean?”

“A leopard can’t change his spots in one day, even if he’s secretly a lamb. In the meantime, he could eat you.”

Jerry shivered.

 

 

MICK OPENED his apartment door and looked in at Jezebel’s back, where she sat bent over his computer. She glanced over her shoulder. “Hi, Michael.” She turned back to her task.

There she was, the prettiest girl at the ball. The girl TL envied him for. He had to feel something.

He slammed the door and covered the space between him and Jezebel in four long steps. Deep breath. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her out of the chair.

Her eyes got huge, and she “eeped” before he crushed his mouth to hers. He knew how to kiss, and he should be able to do a good job. He softened his lips and applied his tongue to the seam of her mouth, now pressed tightly closed. Her shoulders were rigid, but she wasn’t fighting. As he caressed her mouth, her lips parted just a little, and he slipped his tongue inside.

She tasted nice, but nothing like Jerry. Kind of sweet, like a candy you wouldn’t mind having, but not like food you needed to survive. Her lips were so small and soft and her chin didn’t scratch against his own. Not like Jerry at all. But damn, he wanted to enjoy it.

He pulled her closer, and she let him. What would some other guy like TL do right now? He pressed his groin a little closer to her. Of course, he was so much taller, his crotch hit just under her boobs, and maybe that should have been great. Nothing. No flicker of interest from the dick. Dammit!

He pulled his mouth back to reposition it. Needed to keep trying.

She pressed her hand against his chest. “Hey. What’s this all about?”

He tried to smile. “Can’t a guy kiss a pretty girl?”

She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re not interested in me. What are you trying to prove?”

“Nothing. Not trying to prove—” He shook his head and stared at his sneakered feet.

She took his arm and led him over to the small couch, pushed him down on it, and sat beside him. “What’s wrong?”

What was wrong? He shook his head again.

“Look, Michael, I can’t even imagine how horrible it must be to come from your family and know you’re gay. I mean, it’s got to be….”

He couldn’t hear her. She was talking, but no words got through past gay. Gay. Know you’re gay. No. Shit no. Hell no. “Hell no.”

“What?”

“Who says I’m gay? Did you decide that on your own?”

“Oh, come on. You’re clearly crazy about that firefighter. The blond one, Jerry. I don’t blame you. If he was straight, I’d fight you for him. But, Michael—”

Tears pressed at his eyes. Hell no. “No, dammit. Get out of here. You can’t come to my place and call me names. I was trying to help you. How could you do this?”

“Michael—”

“My name’s Mick.”

“Mick! You’re not throwing me out of here. You brought me and you’ll take me home.” One finger came up under his nose. “On top of that, you promised to help me and you will. And in return, I’m going to be your friend and I’m going to tell you the truth. If I made a mistake, I’m sorry, but I think the only one who’s made a mistake around here—is you.” She pressed her finger straight against his heart.

 

 

MICK SAT at the back and watched Straight finish his FAST class.

Straight’s deep voice rumbled through the training room. “I know you guys practice two in/two out on structure fires, but these FAST principles will help with firefighter safety. Got it?” He glanced pointedly at Jerry, who was sitting near the front. “Finally, be careful when you’re rescuing to take all the necessary precautions for disease control.” He gave one sharp, laughing bark and turned toward the whiteboard. A couple of guys shook their heads, and one man put a hand on Jerry’s shoulder.

Damn, Mick wanted to beat something. Look how real men treated fags. How could Jerry spend his whole life like that and not kill himself or somebody else?

A hard hand landed on his shoulder. “Hey, Mick. How’s tricks?”

“Hi, TL. Good. I’m good.” He sighed. “Want to get a soda?”

“Yeah, great. I’d like that.”

He got up and walked into the break room with TL beside him. Funny how Mick’s eyes always searched for golden hair. He grabbed two colas from the fridge and handed one to TL. God, his hands were shaking. He sipped the fizzy sugar water.

He looked up. Oh shit. Straight was heading right for them. He nodded.

“Hey, Mick. Someone just told me that your father’s a preacher.”

“Yeah.”

“Is it possible he’s Bill Ray Cassidy?”

What now? “Yeah.”

Straight slapped him on the shoulder. “Well, hell, son, no wonder you took me to task over scripture. I know your father. He’s a great man. I used to go see him when I lived closer. He helped guide my thinking. A great man.”

What in hell did he say to that? He just nodded. Fortunately Straight went on with no help. “TL, I’ve got to take you out to see Bill Ray Cassidy sometime. I mean, this man has the message. He knows what’s going on.” He slapped Mick’s shoulder again. “I can’t believe we have his son right here and I didn’t even know it. Hey, why don’t the three of us get some dinner tonight? Do some talking. I’ve thought more about what you said, Mick, and now I understand.”

“You do?” What was he talking about?

“Yeah. But not here, right? How about we treat ourselves to Rick’s tonight?”

Mick shook his head. “Sorry. Too rich for my blood.”

“Hey, they don’t pay us that bad.” Straight laughed.

“I give away most of my income, so I don’t eat out a lot.”

Straight’s eyes widened. “Of course, forgive me. Well, hell, I think TL and I can contribute to a guy who supports such a great man. See you after you clock out. How about seven? I’ll make a reservation.”

“I don’t want you to do that.”

“My pleasure, buddy.”

Straight walked toward the apparatus room. TL gave Mick a nudge. “Wow. I didn’t know what a hero you are. See you later.”

His head throbbed. Thoughts kept starting and then flying away. Tough to breathe too. They thought he was a hero. A hero because of his father. This couldn’t be happening. Oh God, help.