SAM’S INCLINATION WAS to keep it from him until she knew for sure, but wrapped up in his arms, she couldn’t do that to him. “I’ve been feeling weird lately. I asked Shelby to get me a test, and she said she’d leave it under the sink in our bathroom.”
With his hands now on her shoulders, he held her back from him so he could see her face. “For real?”
“I don’t know.” Her throat closed around a lump of emotion that made her crazy for being so emotional over this issue, even after all this time.
“Let’s go take the test.”
“Right now?”
“This very minute.”
“Nick... I have other stuff I need to talk to you about.”
“We’ll get to that.” He took her hand and gave a gentle tug. “This first.” Without much participation from her, he got them both upstairs and into the bathroom in the master suite with minimal fuss. Bending to look under the sink, he retrieved three different pregnancy tests and put them on the counter.
Shelby was nothing if not thorough.
While Sam looked on, feeling a surreal detachment to the scene unfolding before her, he took the three wand thingies out of the boxes and packaging.
“You want me to go in with you?”
The question snapped her out of the detached state to shake her head. “That’s where I draw the line.”
“Get in there and start peeing.” He nudged her toward the separate room that housed the toilet. “Hand them out to me when you’re done.”
“That’s kinda gross.”
“Just do it, Samantha.”
She took the sticks from him and went into the adjoining room, all thumbs as she unbuttoned her shorts. Was this really happening? Could it be, after all this time... Don’t get ahead of yourself. One step at a time. She peed on the first stick.
“Here’s one.”
Keeping to the minimal fuss routine, he reached into the room and took it from her. She did the other two and handed them out to him. Her hands trembled as she righted her clothes and joined him in the bigger part of their master bathroom where he had lined up the tests on the counter.
“How long does it take?” he asked.
“A few minutes.” She had far too much experience with this ritual for someone who’d never had a baby.
He wrapped his arms around her and brought her head to rest on his chest. “Hold on to me, Samantha. Either way, we’ve got this. A plus or a minus won’t change anything that really matters.”
She clung to him and his sweet words and told herself he was right. A baby would only make an already-beautiful life more so. Not having a baby wouldn’t take anything away from what they already had.
Once again, she felt the change in him because they were holding each other so tightly. When all the air seemed to leave his body in one long exhale, she had her answer and blinked back tears of disappointment. By now, she ought to be used to it.
“We’ll keep trying,” he said gruffly. “We’ll try and we’ll try until it happens. Think about all the fun we’ll have trying.”
Tears ran unchecked down her face, wetting his shirt, but he never let her go. He held on until she got it all out, running his hand over her hair and her back, whispering more sweet words of love and giving her everything she needed to get through this latest setback.
“If it’s meant to be,” he said, “it’ll happen. And if not, we’ll be just fine. I promise. We have everything we need and then some. We have more than I could’ve ever dreamed of.”
“I’m sorry,” she said between sobs. “I shouldn’t have told you. I hate to disappoint you.”
“Samantha, of course you should’ve told me. I’d never want you to be disappointed alone. This is our project. We’re in it together no matter what. Don’t keep something like this from me in a misguided attempt to protect me.”
“I don’t ever want you to be disappointed because of me.”
“Sam, honey, look at me.”
She lifted her face from his chest and looked up at him gazing down at her with his heart in his gorgeous hazel eyes.
“There is nothing you could do that would disappoint me except stop loving me.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “Then we’re all set.” Hugging her again, he made everything better with the way he loved her. “How about we have dinner with our son, who has requested pizza for the last night of summer vacation, and then spend some time in the loft? I want to be alone with my wife tonight.”
“That sounds good.”
“You said we have other stuff to talk about?”
That stuff seemed unimportant after the pregnancy news—or lack thereof. She nodded. “We’ll talk about that later. I just need a minute to get myself together.”
“Take all the time you need. I’ll order the pizza.” He discreetly scooped up the pregnancy tests and took them with him, presumably to dispose of them in a way that wouldn’t add to the headlines swirling about them. “And Samantha,” he said, looking back at her from the doorway, “never forget how much I love you.”
“I never could.”
He gifted her with a smile that lit up his entire face. “Good.”
Sam bent over the sink and splashed her face with cold water, hoping to get rid of the puffiness so Scotty wouldn’t see that she’d been crying. She felt like such a fool for thinking this time might be different. Once again, her body had betrayed her by sending out a false alarm. She’d be wiser next time, less likely to jump to conclusions. If she ever did get pregnant, she’d be one of those women who found out they were having a baby when they went into labor.
That thought made her laugh because she’d always wondered how anyone could not know they were pregnant until the baby arrived.
Taking a cold wet washcloth with her, she stretched out on the bed and applied the compress to her eyes, which were still leaking with tears despite her fierce desire to move on from this latest in a long string of disappointments related to her fertility.
Perhaps it might be time to try something more, she thought, groaning at the idea of going through fertility treatment again. The last time she’d done that, while still married to Peter, she’d nearly come undone from the stress, the hormones and the sheer agony of one disappointment after another.
But it might be different with Nick by her side to weather the storm along with her. That was something to think about after this latest crisis in their lives played out one way or the other. If Nick was forced to become president, the last thing they’d need was fertility treatments on top of that madness.
After thirty minutes, she got up to go into the bathroom to check the damage to her face, which was still red but not as puffy as it had been. She applied some concealer and brushed her hair, determined to present a cheerful front for her son, who was already glum enough about the start of school. He didn’t need a depressed mother too.
When she felt ready, she went downstairs to join them in the kitchen where a pizza box was open on the counter. Normally, she avoided pizza and the hellacious calories that went with it, but tonight, she helped herself to two slices of the meat lovers and took her usual seat at the table.
Nick glanced her way, his brows raised in question.
Sam nodded to let him know she was okay. “How was the game, buddy?” she asked Scotty.
“It was great. Big win by the Feds. They need everything they can get between now and the end of the month if they want to make the playoffs.”
“If they keep playing the way they did today,” Nick said, “they’ll make the playoffs with room to spare.”
“If they do, can we go to another game?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Maybe you’ll be president by then,” Scotty said with a smirk.
“Shut your filthy mouth,” Sam said around a mouthful of pizza.
Scotty cracked up laughing. “At some point, we need to talk about what we’re going to do if it actually happens.”
“Not yet,” Nick said. “We’re still operating from a place of full denial.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Scotty said. “This whole town is about to go mad with the hearings starting tomorrow, and you’re in denial.”
“Yep, and that’s where I plan to stay.”
“Don’t you want to be president?” Scotty asked.
“Um, well, no, not really.”
Scotty’s mouth fell open with surprise—and pizza. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. Being VP is more than enough for me.”
“Does the DNC know you feel that way?” he asked.
“You’re far too smart for your own good, mister,” Nick said, his eyes dancing with amusement and affection.
Sam could tell he was pleased by the smart questions from their son, who paid attention to the details when it came to their careers.
“And no, the DNC doesn’t know that.”
“You might want to give them a heads-up since they’re counting on you running in the next election.”
“What he said,” Sam said, nodding toward Scotty.
“All right, you two. Enough already with the talk about politics and my career. If you’re dreading school starting tomorrow, think about what I’m dreading that starts tomorrow.”
Scotty thought about that while he polished off another slice of pizza. “Congressional hearings that might lead to the impeachment of the president when you’re the vice president is definitely worse than school.”
“Thank you,” Nick said.
“I’m wondering... What should I say to the other kids who’ll ask me what’s going to happen?”
Nick glanced at Sam before returning his gaze to Scotty. “Tell them no one knows what’s going to happen, and like everyone else, we have to wait and see.”
“That’ll work.”
“The most important thing is not to get into any kind of speculating. Anything we say or do right now, even an innocent comment in school, could end up plastered across the front page of every paper in the country. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I gotcha. I’ll stick to the script.”
Nick laughed at Scotty’s choice of words. “You’re the best.”
They worked together to clean up from dinner and sent Scotty up to get ready for an early bedtime. “The party’s over,” he grumbled on his way out of the kitchen.
“I can feel his pain right here,” Sam said, hand over her belly. “I remember too well how dreadful the end of summer vacation always was.”
“Whereas I was sharpening all my pencils and filling my binders with loose-leaf paper and color-coded dividers.” Nick shuddered, as if in ecstasy.
“I can’t hear this.” Standing at the sink, Sam put her hands over her ears. “I knew eventually I’d discover something about you that wasn’t perfect. It was only a matter of time.”
“I like the smell of library books too—sour milk and paper and the crunch of the plastic covers...”
“Stop! Or I’ll never have sex with you again!”
Laughing, he put his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck while settling his erection against her lower back. “Admit it, you think my perfect GPA is sexy.”
“I’ll admit no such thing,” she said even as she pushed her ass against him suggestively.
“Uh-huh... Whatever you say, babe.” His hands traveled from her hips to her belly and up to cup her breasts, his thumbs sliding across her nipples, which reacted to his nearness the way they always did.
She was powerless to resist him, not that she ever tried very hard to resist. “I hope no one hassles Scotty at school about current events. Do you think we ought to reach out to someone about that?”
“Might be worth a phone call. I’ll take care of it in the morning.”
“You’ll send the front office into a tizzy if you call.”
“A call from me will get their attention, which is what we want.”
“True,” Sam said, turning to face him. “A call from the sexy vice president would get anyone’s attention, especially the ladies that work in the school office.”
As always, he scowled when she commented on his sexiness.
Sam laughed and brought him in for a kiss. “Let’s get our son tucked in so we can have some time alone. I really need it tonight.” A pang of anxiety reminded her that she could be called out to another homicide at any minute.
“I need it too,” he said, returning her kiss and watching over her with love and concern.
They’d had another disappointment, but they still had each other, and that was more than enough to take the sting out of this latest setback.
* * *
SAM WAITED UNTIL the nine o’clock Secret Service shift change to go into Scotty’s room to kiss him good-night. “Lights out by ten, buddy,” she said as she adjusted the comforter around him.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
“Try to look forward to seeing all your friends and not think about the school part.”
He smiled up at her. “Is that what you used to do?”
“Every year.” She kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning. Bright and early.”
“That last part was unnecessary.”
“Sorry,” she said, trying not to smile.
“No, you’re not.”
Laughing, she said, “Love you, pal. Sleep tight.”
“Love you too.”
Sam closed his door and headed for the third floor, thankful to not have to sneak past the agent who stood watch in the upstairs hallway on the way to her booty call with her husband. They were still getting used to having their house crawling with Secret Service, but at times like this, Sam tried to forget about the extra people in the house so she could focus exclusively on her husband.
Nick had already lit the beach-scented candles and put on the Polynesian music that reminded them of their trips to Bora Bora for their honeymoon and first anniversary. “There you are. I was about to send out a search party.”
“I waited for the shift change. I hate when they know we’re up here. It’s like they know what we’re doing.”
Laughing, he extended his hand to her, inviting her to join him on the comfortable double lounge chair.
Sam untied her robe and dropped it to the floor before she crawled from the foot of the lounger to curl up to him.
“Could I get a video of what you just did so I can watch it anytime I want?”
“Absolutely not. My husband is a very important man, and if a video like that ever got out, it would ruin him. You’ll have to rely on memories.”
“Your husband,” he said, nuzzling her neck as he cupped her breast, “is a very, very lucky man.”
“Yes, he is, and he’s about to get even luckier.”
His low chuckle made her smile. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you smiling and joking tonight, even though you’re aching on the inside.”
“I am,” she said, settling into his embrace, her head resting on his chest. “But the disappointments are easier to accept than they used to be before I had you and Scotty. When I was with Peter... We were both upset, but we didn’t go through it together the way you and I do. I was always so alone with the disappointment.”
“I hate to think of you lonely and upset and so close by yet so far away for all those years.”
“If I didn’t go through that, I probably wouldn’t appreciate what I have now as much as I do.”
“Yes, you would. You didn’t have to go through hell to know magic when you feel it.”
“It that what this is? Magic?”
“I’ve yet to find a better word to describe it. Whenever things get to be too much, all I have to do is think of you, and I feel better. That’s all it takes.”
His sweet words brought tears to her eyes. Sam pushed herself up on an elbow and gazed down at him. “I do the same thing. I’ll be in the middle of something hideous at work, and I think of you and Scotty, and you help me cope.”
He raised a hand to her face and brought her down for a kiss. “That’s how I know we’re going to get through whatever the next few weeks have in store for us. No matter what happens, we’ll always have this, and that makes the rest bearable.”
Sam nodded in agreement. “Exactly. What do we care if you have to become president if we can still run away to our loft?”
He groaned. “Mood killer, babe.”
“Will you build me a loft in the Lincoln Bedroom?”
“Shut up.”
“Shut me up.”
“With pleasure.” Nick rolled them over so he was on top of her and kissed the sass right out of her.
When they were together this way, there were no murderers to find, reporters to dodge, political crises unfolding or first-day-of-school woes to contend with. Holding her hands over her head, he played her body like a maestro, like he was born to love her and only her. He knew just where to kiss and touch and caress her to make her wild for him.
“Let me have my hands.” She tugged at his tight hold. “I want to touch you.”
He shook his head and ran his tongue over her nipple. “This time is all about you, my love.”
Sam trembled in reaction to his words and the tight tug of his lips on her nipple. In their second year of marriage, she’d come to understand that he needed to take care of her tonight, and she needed to let him. So, she let go and surrendered to him, giving them both what they needed most.
As he moved down her body, he released his tight hold on her hands, but Sam kept them where she knew he wanted them. With his lips and tongue, he drove her to a fast orgasm, and then took her up again, leaving her hanging at the brink when he entered her and sent her flying.
Her eyes fluttered open to find him looking down at her, the fierce look of love in his eyes the only thing she saw. Then he began to move, and she wrapped her arms around him, needing him close to her even more than usual tonight. He grasped her bottom and held just as tightly while he made love to her.
“God, Samantha... I love you. I love you so damned much.”
“I love you too.”
After that, there were no words, only more of the magic they created together, and it was just what she needed.