Chapter Five
Lana
Under the covers of Della’s blanket, I bring my knees to my chin and curl my body up tight. The heat of the mid-morning sun shines through the window and onto the bed, causing a light sheen of sweat on the back of my neck, but I refuse to push the covers off and face the day.
Day three, and still no word from Rex. How hard is it to decide to save your sister instead of feeding your revenge?
There’s a soft knock on the door. I stay silent hoping whoever it is will go away. All the guys except Mack have come in this morning trying to rouse me for breakfast. I refused to move or talk.
I hate being here, loathe being near Mack, and I won’t go home unless my brother shows me I’m more important than a vendetta. I need Rex to choose me. It seems ridiculous, me wanting my brother to give up on getting justice for our father’s murder, but then no one would ever understand as they haven’t walked my path. However, my brother saw it all. I hope deep down that he sees I’m worth more than my father ever thought I was. I pray my brother doesn’t follow in my father’s footsteps.
My body stills at the creak of the bedroom door opening. If it’s Mack this time, and if he utters a word to me, I may just jump out of this bed and scratch his eyes out with my nails. That’s how explosive I’m feeling today.
“Lana,” Piper’s gentle voice causes me to groan out loud. Damn. They sent in the one person I won’t ignore.
I push the blanket back and blow out a breath to get the loose hair off my face. “They’re evil.”
Piper giggles. “Yes, they are. However, it did take them two hours to figure it out. I enjoyed watching them try to work out how to get a woman out of bed who isn’t their sister.”
I smile. “That does make me feel better.”
Piper sits on the edge of the bed. “You do need to get up though, Della wants to see you. So we’re all going to the hospital.”
My heart accelerates and my stomach churns. I laugh awkwardly. “What, she wants to grill me for Rex attacking the Kings and blame me for all the terrible things he’s done? I’m really not in the mood to be told off by anyone right now.”
“No,” Piper says quickly. “Della doesn’t blame you for what happened to her, no one does.”
Clutching my stomach, I’m feeling ill. Seeing the woman my father hurt, witnessing the pain in the eyes of someone who used to be my friend, how can I face her?
“Okay, I’ll get up and dress.” My voice is almost a whisper.
Piper stands from the bed. She offers me an understanding nod and a sad smile.
I hate that look. “I don’t need you to pity me. I’m a big girl, I’ll get through this day like I have any other.”
Growing up I always felt people pitied me more than they liked me. Up until recently, it’s how I thought Mack must have felt. He was sorry for the poor, tormented girl, and he may have seen some of himself in me. But not love or like, not enough for him to come back to me anyway, but he did and he still claims it was love. I do believe him. What man would come back for a girl when he knows his family killed her father? One who must have wanted to try, through all the odds he wanted to try. And I was weak. But I’m not anymore and I refuse to let Mack torture me for the past mistakes we both made.
Piper frowns. “I don’t pity you. That was not my pity face.” She darts to the mirror on the dresser and says, “I can control my pity face. I work with kids, I have to be able to control that look.” She anxiously pulls and pokes at her face and it makes me laugh.
A knowing grin appears on Piper’s face. Oooh, she’s good.
“Like I said, I work with kids. You might not know this, but I have a stutter.” My eyebrows pinch together. Piper stutters? “I might appear sad by a situation, but I do not pull the ‘oh poor thing’ face. I’ve seen enough of them to last me a lifetime.” Piper heads for the door, but I want to ask the question that’s on the tip of my tongue before she leaves.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve never heard you stutter, I don’t think so anyway.”
“I’ve learned to control it. However, eventually Slater will piss me off or God forbid get hurt and then you’ll hear a whole string of stuttering.”
My chest tightens. Piper has been nothing but kind to me since I arrived. My brother tried to kill her and yet she treats me with respect, as an individual, and she hasn’t once blamed me for my brother’s decisions. It sucks to think people may have treated her differently because of her speech.
“Now you’re giving me the look.”
“Shit.” Unconsciously my head swings to the mirror and I find a soft expression on my face, one of adoration, not pity.
Piper laughs. “You’re great practice. I’m going to have these street kids eating out of my hands soon.”
I can’t help but laugh at her words. Damn. I really like her.
***
Walking through the hospital, I’m surrounded by the Kings. Slater’s in the lead holding Piper’s hand. People move out of their way instantly, giving us a wide berth. I can understand why. The Kings’ swagger is one of confidence and danger. They don’t walk somewhere, they forge a determined path and make sure their outward appearance lets everyone know nothing will get in their way.
We arrive at a lift and get in. Slater pulls out a keycard, swipes it and presses the button for the top floor. The lift comes to a stop and the doors open. We all step out and I gasp when my eyes find Brett standing near a reception desk. I stop, refusing to go any further, ready for an all-out brawl when Slater steps forward. But his body doesn’t tense and no punches are thrown. Slater grasps Brett’s palm with his own –their hands in a fist- and they shoulder tap each other, something I know the guys do with only their closest friends.
My mind is blown. They’re friends? I thought Brett was an enemy to the Kings, and a messenger they barely tolerated?
“She’s good, sitting up and moving around a lot more today,” Brett informs Slater before winking at me; he steps into the lift and presses a button for the doors to close. I turn back around and find all the guys and Piper looking at me with grins on their faces. Pressing my lips tightly together I don’t say a word, not sure how to take the fact that Rex has a friend who’s indeed working for his enemy. You think you know people.
The woman sitting behind the reception desk gains our attention when she gives us all a chirpy, “Hello.”
All the guys smile and lift their chins, however, no one stops to talk to her.
We follow Slater and Piper up a long corridor and then finally, they stop at room number twenty-one. While my heart beats heavily against my chest, I rub my fingers across my clammy hands and then still my body as Slater and Piper walk through the door and disappear. Kelso, Pacer, and Mackson all stop with me and give me curious looks.
“I’m okay, just need a minute,” I inform them.
Kelso and Pacer leave me be, walking into the hospital room. Mackson hasn’t moved.
Peeking at him out of the corner of my eye, I find him rubbing the back of his neck and his forehead wrinkling with concern.
“Lan–”
“Don’t.” My chest rises and falls heavily. “I have nothing left for you. Yesterday you made damn sure of that.”
Not wanting to hear Mack’s reply, or be in his presence another second, I propel my body into room twenty-one.
My eyes find Della almost instantly. She’s smiling up at her brothers, but once she sees me come through the door her smile dies.
The room falls silent. Della’s eyes gloss over and her chin trembles. The urge to run away is great. I want to get as far away from here as I can. It’s taken me years to stop being one of his victims. Della’s agony is written all over her face, and it’s not something I want to memorize and never be able to forget.
Slater coughs. “We’ll give you two some time to talk.”
Della’s family leaves the room and now it’s just the two of us.
All we do for a long moment is stare at one another. In my mind she’s a kid again, her laughter and happy smile circling around in my mind.
Abruptly Della lets out a sob and my heart squeezes and twists painfully.
I move to the side of her bed, my eyes wildly searching hers. How do I tell her how sorry I am for what my family has put her through?
“I’m sorry,” Della’s voice is strained as she forces her words through another strangled cry.
Tears begin to fall and I shake my head furiously. Comforting words get stuck in my throat. What can I say to ease the pain of having a piece of your soul stolen?
“Lana.” The determined tone in Della’s voice causes my body to cease shaking and I give her my full attention.
“There’s something you need to know.”
What? My body freezes with fear. There’s nothing I need to know which I haven’t already imagined about the horrifying moments Della had to endure. Knowing the details, what my father did, those would destroy me.
“I was the one who killed your father. It wasn’t Slater, it was me.” Della’s strangled voice rushes the words out, but they’re as clear as if she had screamed them.
I take a quick step back from the bed. My eyes on Della, while my mouth falls. I was the one who killed your father. Light-headedness hits me hard and I have to grasp a tight hold of the railing on the bed to stay upright.
“It’s not something I ever intended to do,” she stresses and then lifts her hands and stares down at her palms. “I was angry. For the first time in my life things were going well for my brothers and me, and in a heartbeat your father stole that from me. Your father…” Della takes in a shaky breath, “…he was pulling his pants up so casually as if he hadn’t just destroyed my whole world. I remember looking up from the kitchen floor in his garage, and the first thing my eyes landed on was the knife block. I don’t remember picking up the knife or every slice and stab. Mostly, I remember the blood on my hands afterward and the sensation of my whole-body shaking.”
“Stop, please.” My voice comes out hoarse. Those words are all I can manage, my throat is dry and my mind like a hurricane. Her recount sends my thoughts surging through me like a storm.
Della shifts awkwardly on the bed and sits up straighter. “I’m sorry I can’t,” she whispers. “If I don’t tell you, get this out, I’m going to explode.”
I nod and let her continue. “I didn’t even know he was dead when I ran out of there. I went straight home and told Slater everything. Slater left to find Jae and I knew if he wasn’t already dead then he would be soon. But Jae did die at my hands, and when Slater was leaving the garage, Rex showed up. Slater didn’t even try to talk to him, he knew what it looked like and it’s exactly what Slater wanted, to take the blame for me so he took off speeding away from the shop and the rest is history.”
“If Rex knew it was you, everything would be different. He loves you Della and as much as that love would probably turn to hate, Rex would never hurt you.”
This changes everything.
Why are they worrying about kidnapping me when they’ve had the answer to end this war the whole time?
“Rex can’t know, Lana.” I jump at the sound of Slater’s stern voice.
I glance over my shoulder and see all the Kings and Piper standing around the doorway.
“Welcome to my world, there’s no such thing as privacy with these guys,” Della states and I don’t have to look back at her to see the exasperation I hear in her voice.
“Why? He won’t hurt her. I can promise you that.” I direct my question and statement to Slater, and he kicks his foot out and stares at the ground, but I don’t miss the quick look he gives Mackson as well.
There’s something they won’t tell me.
“What aren’t you telling me?” This time, my eyes are on Mack when I speak.
Slater’s phone rings and everyone in the room tenses as if there’s a call they’re all waiting on.
Has Rex contacted Slater and they haven’t told me?
“Got it,” Slater murmurs into the phone and hangs up.
Slater looks to me and says, “We have to go. Brett spotted Corey coming into the hospital.”
“Did they contact you? Did my brother ask to talk?” Hope soars into my soul. My brother does love me enough to put me first.
“No,” Slater informs me gently. “However, we know Rex has people watching us because the minute we left Portland, Corey’s car was following us, out in the open, not hiding at all. If Corey wants to talk to us or if Rex is on his way, that can’t happen here, in a hospital full of innocent people. We need to leave now, veer off to a secluded spot on the way home and see if they follow to talk.”
I nod in understanding and turn back to Della. The guilt shining in her eyes should never have been her burden. My father died the way a man like him should have—bloody and painful. It was his destiny. I wish it wasn’t Della’s. Words, there’s nothing I can say to make her nightmares go away. So I hope Della can see the forgiveness I openly offer her in my smile and glassy eyes.
Mackson, Slater, and Pacer walk to Della and say a quick goodbye. Slater whispers to Piper and she nods and sits on the bed with Della while Kelso steps up to the door and waits there.
Slater is the first to walk out of the room and then Pacer gently gives me a push to follow. Again I find myself walking behind Slater with Pacer on my left and Mack to my right. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch Kelso close the door behind us and give me a cheeky wink.
A grin tugs at the corner of my mouth and I hear Mackson sigh loudly. I don’t bother to look up. Instead, something strange happens—warmth flows through me and I feel lightness in my limbs. I recognize this sensation, it’s how I felt when Rex taught me how to ride my bike, and when I’d wake up on my birthdays to presents surrounding me. Rex would stay up late and wait until I’d fallen asleep and then he’d fill my bed with gifts.
Love. Family. Safety.
Watching the Kings, I crave the past. I want my big brother back. Grief and vengeance have destroyed all our traditions over the past five years. I used to hate his over-protectiveness and how nosey he would be, but now that I’m invisible to him, I desperately wish for those days back.
Rex always came home spewing hate and ranting how Slater disrespected and lied to him again. Viewing the Kings now—working as a family with a solid foundation and having each other’s backs—I feel a pang of jealousy. Rex and I fought so often these last few years over his vicious ways and his on again and off again drug use. I love my brother, so much, yet I stand here and I’m struggling to remember a week where we worked together, toward something happy and good for the both of us.
I should have tried harder. Been a stronger sister for him.
I will. Things will change from this point on. When Rex chooses me, I’m not going to stop until I have my real brother back.
Slater stops us near the entrance and takes Pacer with him to check the parking lot first, making sure no surprises are waiting for us.
Mackson and I stand awkwardly together. He angles his body toward me and I give him my back letting him know I don’t want to talk. As far as I’m concerned Mack said everything he needed to yesterday… for me to leave him the hell alone from now on.
Mackson huffs and I sense him turn his back.
My blood begins to boil and I fist my hands, my nails digging into my skin. That man. What does he expect? He called me a bitch and a cheater. I do not take that shit lightly. He needs to apologize and fast, or we’re going down an angry path I’m not sure even I can get myself off.
I take a small intake of breath when two people I hadn’t expected to see, walk straight into my line of sight. Rex gestures for me to follow him and I watch as he limps into a female bathroom with Corey walking closely behind him.
Scenarios and thoughts race through my mind. Should I tell Mack? Or go to my brother? Curiosity wins and overpowers my thought process on right or wrong. I let Mack know I’m going to the ladies for a moment. I sense him on my heels and spin around at the toilet door, my eyes narrowed and my lips pressed together in anger.
“I’m not a child, Mackson, do not follow me in here like one.”
Mackson sighs heavily. “Couple of minutes, that’s all you have.” His tone isn’t anything I recognize. It sounds defeated.
My heart falters. Hating someone—pretending to—is much harder than I thought it would be.
Mack stares into my eyes and I sense that we’re thinking almost the same thing. If only things could be different, but Mack is a stubborn man, he’s never going to get over our past.
I turn and push through to the bathroom, stepping into the small room, which leads to another door. When I hear the door behind me close I open the next one. A strong smell of soap and bleach hit my senses as I spot Rex and Corey having a disagreement, both, whispering angrily toward one another.
Corey ends the argument and rushes to my side. “Did they hurt you?”
However, I only have eyes for my brother. “What the hell, Rex?” I hiss. “Three damn days.”
Rex nods. “I know, but they fucking shot me and made me look like a fool. I needed time to come up with a plan.”
The warmth through my body tries to recede, but I grab hold of it with the claws of my soul. “Rex, you came here to talk, didn’t you? To tell Slater the war is over and it’s time we all moved on, right? For my safety, my life?”
I need to know, yet, I’m scared to hear his answer.
“I was never going to leave you with them for the seven days, Lana. I needed time to figure out a plan and I have one.” The lightness in my limbs has now turned to heaviness and my heart begins to build walls, terrified of how lost my brother truly is, of how little I must mean to him.
“That’s why Corey and I are here. To tell you that tonight, after everyone goes to bed, you need to get out of their house, out the window if you must. We’re going to blow the whole building while they’re sleeping.” Rex’s eyes never settle on me and his hands move through the air in crazy movements.
He’s high, higher than I’ve ever seen him before.
My eyes widen and I take a big step away from my brother. I look to Corey, who’s already staring at me with pain in his gaze. He knows this is too far, he knows my brother’s slowly losing it, and not just his sanity but his humanity.
I glance back to Rex and say, “No. That’s too far, Rex. The whole point of this week was to think on everyone walking away peacefully. Did you think about that at all?”
“They killed our father, Lana,” Rex spits at me, his mood catapulting him straight past confused or pissed and straight to furious.
“Rex, even if they did and not to mention we’ve always thought it was only Slater, you’re talking about killing a whole family. And I’ve seen street kids sneak and sleep in their garage. You could kill them as well. This is mass murder. Madness!” Heaviness in my chest makes it difficult to breathe and a ringing in my ears begins to become painful. The plan, this stranger in front of me, it’s all too much.
“Even if they did we’ve always thought it was only Slater,” Rex repeats my words and for the first time in my life, his low tone scares me. “You’ve been there two days and they’ve brainwashed you already? You gonna believe them over your own brother, your own blood?”
“Jesus Rex,” I shout. “When the fuck was our father a Saint? When the hell did he deserve this kind of going-to-Hell blind devotion? You can’t say one hundred percent that he didn’t rape Della. You’ve never talked about the possibility. Is it because you know he may have? You’re afraid of what you might find at the end of your thoughts. He was a drunk, Rex. You saw how he treated me, how much he hated women because Mom left him. Somewhere inside you, you must question if Della’s accusations are truths.”
Abruptly a hand cracks across my face. A fierce stinging sensation causes a shriek to be pulled from between my lips as I stumble to the side, my body slamming into the bathroom wall. I don’t fall. My hand moves fast to hold me up as black dots dance in front of my vision. I squint and glance around as I hear shuffling and grunts, and assume Corey is holding Rex back, but when my vision finally clears I find Mackson pushing Rex up against the wall, his forearm against Rex’s throat, my brother sputtering trying to breathe.
My brother hit me.
My chest constricts painfully, as if Rex reached in and crushed my heart with his bare hands, leaving nothing but ashes in his wake.