“I watch her sleeping. I can’t tear my eyes from her for even a second, for if I do I will see her battered, broken body. She’s so worried about me. I try to put on the smile she needs, but I know she sees through me. My desperation to touch her, taste her, and smell her are complete giveaways to what is really going on inside of me. I can feel it from the other males, even Vasile. The effects of the In-Between run much deeper than we could have ever imagined. Though we are free from the physical prison, I fear that it could still be what destroys us.” ~ Costin
Sally stood breathless from the brisk pace that Peri insisted they keep. They had been pushing through the forest for two days and still the males teetered on the edge of violence. The once unified wolves that had trusted each other were leery and edgy around one another. Their eyes darted, constantly waiting for the danger they seemed so sure would come. The males wouldn’t let their mates more than a foot from their sides, Costin included. Sally would have laughed at their ridiculous possessiveness, but the fear in their eyes crushed any humor.
Costin walked up to her. He was not out of breath she noticed, irritably. His hand reached up and brushed away hair that had escaped from her pony tail while they were running. His touch was tentative and gentle and she hated that he, who had once been so confident and bold in his pursuit of her, was now hesitant to touch her—his mate.
“Not for the reasons you think,” he told her as he held her eyes.
“Then why?”
She could feel his need to protect her and, though she appreciated it, in that moment it enraged her. She knew that she was his and he felt an unwavering, all powerful need to protect her, but he was hers too, dammit. How could she protect him, even from himself, if he didn’t let her in?
“You feel the tension, especially because you are a healer. The darkness that we all have kept at bay, the control we have kept on our wolves, is all but gone. We are fighting what we have always feared would destroy us.”
“Why? I thought your true mates balanced that darkness. I thought we helped you keep control. I know you all have been through hell. I know you have this insane need to protect us, but you have us back. The physical touch is there and the mental bond is strong. Why are you not in control?” Sally’s voice broke the silence. She was desperate for an answer, and hopefully one that she could fix. Costin, being so distant and yet possessive beyond reason, was beginning to scare her. The others turned to watch them and Costin tensed at all the attention. His head bowed as he broke eye contact with her and Sally felt shame running off of him like a turbulent rain storm, hell bent on wearing away his resolve as rain from the storm would wear away earth and rock.
“They won’t let us be what they need.” Rachel’s voice broke the pin dropping silence. Sally’s head snapped around to the other healer.
“What do you mean?” Sally asked.
Gavril stepped up beside his mate and placed a hand on her face gently pulling her to look at him.
“Don’t.” His voice was a growl though she didn’t seemed threatened by him.
Rachel shook her head at him. “This has to be said! One of you, or all of you, is going to end up killing each other. I won’t let your own pride and misplaced good intentions destroy us. We can’t go marching into a mansion full of Alphas and dominant wolves with you all so edgy. You have your friends, your closest confidants, men you trust with your lives and you are willing to die for and even with them you can’t control your possessiveness. When one of those males gets too close to your mate, how on earth do you think you will be able to keep from ripping his throat out?”
Jen’s hand flew to her mouth as she stifled as gasp. “Bloody hell,” she whispered through her hand. She hadn’t considered the other packs. She had been hoping that with each day, the males would begin to relax and trust one another again. She might as well have been hoping for world peace and all that other crap that the Miss America chicks were always spouting. The tension between the males was not lessening; it might even be getting worse. Decebel was possessive on a good day, but now that she was pregnant and he had just endured the very worst depths of hell. She didn’t even know if possessive was an adequate term for what he would be once they got back to the mansion.
“So you’re saying they are doing this to themselves?” Jacque asked, before Jen could and she nodded at her best friend for taking the words out of her shocked mouth.
Rachel met the eyes of each male briefly before she finally nodded.
“I did something that I would not normally do because I don’t like to invade someone’s privacy, not even my mates, but I’m worried.”
Gavril stiffened next to his mate and his eyes narrowed as he looked down at her.
“What did you do Rachel?” His voice was not unkind, but brokered no argument that she was to answer him.
“I searched inside of you.” Rachel hurried on before Gavril could respond. “We have been mated for centuries Gavril, centuries! We have been through much together, and in all that time, you have never drawn away from me. But now, you have. You only touch me when it gets unbearable for you not to. You only use the bond when absolutely necessary. You constantly keep your body between mine and anyone else’s. You are treating me more like a possession than the other half of your soul!” Rachel’s voice had risen to a near yell as she released the pain that had been building over the distance her mate had put between them. “I’m the light to your darkness, or have you forgotten that little detail of our mating? I was created for YOU! Do you get that? When you are hurting, I’m the one who can comfort you. When you are joyous, I am the one who can truly understand that joy. When you are raging and the wolf fights to take control, I am the one who can calm him. ME! The darkness that was consuming you when we met was breached and conquered by my light. Your need to protect me, your need to bear this pain on your own is destroying my light. The In-Between gave the darkness a place to seep through back inside of you and instead of welcoming our bond as you once did you nurture the darkness. You caress IT as a lover INSTEAD OF ME!” Rachel was gasping for breath when she finished and the air seemed to spark around her as her temper flared.
Sally’s chest was tight as she mirrored the pain and anger that surged from Rachel’s words. She had not been able to put into words what she had been feeling, but Rachel had tied it up in a rage induced bow. She looked over at Jen and Jacque and could see the realization snapping into place in their minds. Even Elle, Crina, and Alina looked stricken by the truth in the healers’ words.
“The worst part,” Rachel tried to hold back the sob that pushed out with the words, “the worst part is that you know what you’re doing, yet you don’t stop it.”
Alina stepped forward as the anger in Rachel, which had been so much more prominent than her pain, began to subside and the hurt began to take over. Alina’s face was stoic and the distance between her and Vasile shadowed the usual compassion that shined in her eyes. She took a deep breath before she spoke and the voice that came out was one of an Alpha.
“I have been trying to figure out what it is that has been causing the distrust and suffocating grasp of our males. Hearing what Rachel has seen inside of her mates mind, inside of his soul, I know that she speaks the truth. My wolf echoes loudly the truth of her words. But, my wolf and I are not in agreement on how we should feel about this revelation.” Alina’s eyes narrowed as she honed in on Vasile. “Had you not been aware of what was going on inside of you, had you not knowingly been keeping me from you, I could have understood. I could have empathized.” Her voice never wavered as her words filled the hush that had fallen over the forest; a hush that none of them seemed to notice. “As it is, you have decided for me what I can handle and what I cannot. You made the decision to keep a part of you from me. So, I am making a decision for you,” she paused as she watched Vasile’s fear morph into anger as he already saw what she was going to say. She said it out loud anyway. “You have denied me what I so desperately need and so I will deny you. Eye for and eye, yes? I don’t do this to be mean, childish, or vindictive; I do this because it is time for desperate measures. I have no idea how to tear down the wall you have so diligently and fervently built between us. So, I will no longer use human ways to reason with you. I’m going back to the nature that comes so naturally to us—to the nature of the wolf. The wolf doesn’t understand emotions as much as actions and the here and now. I’m giving your wolf something he can understand. Your touch is uninvited.”
A collective gasp from the females and low snarls from the males filled the stagnant air. To a human, it would seem unimportant and possibly even silly, but to a Canis lupus, touch was vital. Touch between mates was as life giving as the air that filled their lungs. The need to touch and be touched, whether for comfort, encouragement, or desire, was at the core of the wolf’s heart.
Vasile took a step towards her, but Alina held up her hand to halt him and took a step back.
“I am yours, Vasile, as Rachel has told her mate. I am the other half of your soul and when you are ready to give me the respect I deserve as such, I will give you back your rights to me. I never want you to have to deal with your darkness on your own. I want to help you get through the horror you experienced, but I will not beg. Not even for you.” Alina turned and walked across the path, far from her mate. Vasile stared as he tried to see through the red haze that had begun to blur his vision. She was denying him. HIM! He stood utterly dumbfounded and unable to move because of it.
Peri watched in part horror and part awe as the Alpha female put her foot down. She was doing the right thing. The males were too far gone, they hadn’t made it in time, and if they continued on this path, their wolves would take over. Words would no longer penetrate the darkness to the man’s mind; the only thing that might work would be to take action that the wolf would understand. Though Peri wasn’t a wolf, she had learned something about them as she had been around them for more centuries than she could count. She had come to realize that the man was protective, possessive, and utterly devoted to his true mate, and the wolf was even more so. What Alina was doing would result in one of two things, the males pulling their heads out of their asses and allowing their females to be what they were meant to be or the darkness would consume them and they would all die. That would suck, she thought. She stood a little straighter as she watched what was unfolding before her and her mouth dropped open. She began to gather her power knowing that it was a big possibility that she was going to have to use it.
Sally was the first to move after the shock of Alina’s words had frozen them all. She looked at Costin and searched for any indication that he would deny Rachel or Alina’s words. She saw and felt his shame at hurting her, but she also felt his resolve that it was the only way to protect her. That was enough for her to make her decision, though it nearly made her knees buckle as she turned and walked away from him. Her heart threatened to beat through her chest as it pounded inside her. Despite the cold air, her hands were sweating and she felt sweat trickle down her back. She swallowed against the pain of her choice, but knew deep inside of her that it was the only option. The thought of not touching Costin, of not feeling his touch, took her breath away and as she reached Alina’s side the Alpha wrapped an arm around her to help steel her composure.
“Sally,” Costin growled. “Come back.”
She could hear the anger and pain in his words and she nearly ran back to him. She didn’t want him to hurt but she wanted her mate back more than she worried about the temporary pain that the separation would cause.
“No,” she answered defiantly, not even giving him the intimacy of their bond. His eyes narrowed as he caught the subtle defiance in refusing him access to her mind. “Your touch is uninvited,” she told him with eyes full of unshed tears. Sally finally looked away, not down, as she would not show submission, but away because watching him shake with rage was too much.
Jen was next to move. She didn’t say anything as she walked away from her mate, not until he reached out and snagged her arm.
Jen rounded on him and the fury pulsing from her gave her the strength to pull her arm away.
“I would repeat everything Alina just said,” she snarled, “but it’s just too damn much. So, I’ll just say the parts I do remember. You know that you’re hurting me, and frankly, that makes me want to stab you with a spoon, and still you just continue on your path to self-destruction, uncaring of how it’s affecting me. You know that I am what you need to get through all this crap and yet, you deny me that privilege, and you deny me of my right to meet YOUR NEEDS! As a self-declared nympho this is the most painful thing to willingly endure,” she took a deep breath and let it out just as Decebel whispered, “Don’t.” She ignored him. “Your touch is...”
“Don’t do this, Jennifer,” Decebel interrupted and though his words were controlled and quiet, it was scarier than if he had been screaming like a crazed maniac.
Jen let out a low growl as she started again. “Your touch...”
Again, he interrupted, louder this time. “DO. NOT.”
Jen threw her arms up in the air in exasperation. “Bloody hell, would you shut up! I am not doing this Dec, you are. This is all you babe, so suck it up and deal.” Jen knew there must be some formal reason that Alina had been so formal with her words, and so she squared her shoulders and looked into his narrowed, glowing eyes- and spoke quickly. “Yourtouchisuninvited.” The words ran together as she tried to get them out before he could cut her off again. Decebel took a step back as if he had been slapped. Jen’s eyes widened slightly at the action and slowly walked backwards keeping her eyes on his shocked face.
Decebel’s face suddenly was wiped clean of emotion, his stone mask in place. His jaw tensed as he spoke. “I warned you from the beginning Jennifer. You are mine. I will not let you go. I will not allow even you to keep yourself from me.” His eyes narrowed, dangerously. “I consider your actions a direct challenge to me. I will only say this one more time. Don’t do this.” When she didn’t move, or speak, Decebel shook his head in resignation. “So be it,” he growled, softly.
Fane hadn’t realized that Jacquelyn had left his side while everyone’s attention was riveted on Jen and Decebel. When Jen finally arrived at Alina’s other side, he turned back only to realize Jacquelyn was half way across the path that was quickly becoming a dividing line. He lunged forward to grab her, but was stopped by an invisible wall. His head jerked over to the only one he knew powerful enough to conjure such a thing. Peri stood looking innocently at him, but he saw the twinkle in her eyes.
He tried to reach Jacque’s mind, but she was blocking him rather effectively and he was sure it had something to do with what Rachel had revealed about them. The males were keeping their mates out. It was instinctive to protect them, to not want them to be tainted by their darkness.
“Jacquelyn,” his voice was barely above a whisper as he clenched his jaw. She turned to look at him and she saw the tears gathering in her green eyes. He had caused that and he had pushed her to take this desperate measure as his mother had said.
Jacque swallowed hard before she finally spoke. “Your touch is uninvited.” Sally and Jen wrapped Jacque in their arms comforting her, but knowing that it would not give her what she truly needed. Only Fane could do that.
Something in Fane snapped as his wolf realized that their mate was mere feet from them and yet he could not get to her. He pounded his fist on the invisible barrier as his claws emerged and his eyes glowed bright blue. He watched the girls holding her, and he snarled jealously. It was his right to touch her; she was his.
“You are mine,” Fane growled.
Jacque pulled away from her best friends and looked at Fane. “Yes, I am, and I’m not leaving you.” She turned and met the eyes of the other males. “None of us is trying to leave any of you.”
Decebel snarled loudly, finally losing his resolve. “You each took one of us as your mate. You bound yourselves by blood to your mate. You joined your body and made yourselves one with your mate. You are no longer your own.” He was shaking with rage and power swirled around him. “It is not your right to choose separation from your mate FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME!”
Surprise flashed across their faces when it wasn’t Decebel’s mate who responded.
“But it is your right to keep yourselves from us?” Crina’s voice was steady, though as she looked over at Adam the hurt flashed in her eyes.
A snarl worthy of a wolf erupted from Adam as he pulled Crina to him.
He whispered feverishly in her ear. “We are too new at this to be making impetuous decisions. We are still learning how this bond works between us Crina; don’t walk away now.”
Crina stared at his handsome face; saw the desperation in his eyes to keep her at his side. His words were true, but she knew that he had been holding himself back from her as well. Whatever he had seen in the In-Between was creating a void between them. She turned to Rachel then, needing to know what was inside.
“Will you?” Crina asked, knowing that Rachel would understand what she was asking.
Rachel nodded and walked over to them. She reached up, placed her hand on Adam's chest, and closed her eyes. She could see their bond and it had been getting stronger, but then she saw the black haze in Adam’s mind. She saw the wall he had put up between the bond and the darkness. Then the bond weakened because of it. Somehow, Rachel knew that if Adam would let her in, would fully bond with her, then they would have the same abilities as the other mated pairs. She opened her eyes and pulled her hand back as she looked up into Adam’s face. Rachel could see the pleading in his eyes, begging for her not to expose his actions. She shook her head. Rachel would not enable him to keep his mate from what was her right.
Rachel turned back to Crina. “He tries to protect you, but the barrier he has put on your bond is keeping it from growing and developing. I believe you will be able to reach each other’s minds. I believe that you will develop markings that will identify you as mates, but only if you allow the bond to grow. It appears exactly as the bond between wolves, but it withers under Adam’s refusal to open it.”
Adam’s arm dropped from Crina as he watched the tears stream down her face. She stepped away from him and took a steadying breath. “Your touch is uninvited.” Her voice wavered, but her rigid shoulders and upturned chin expressed what her voice could not. She turned and nearly made it past Peri’s barrier, but Adam was as fast as a wolf. He grabbed her and spun her around, and then took her face in his hands he kissed her. Their lips barely touched when Adam jumped back as pain ripped through him. His eyes were filled with confusion as he looked at his mate.
“What was that?” He asked, as his hands fisted at his sides aching with the need to touch her.
“Your touch is uninvited,” she repeated.
Adam closed his eyes as realization struck him. “That’s why the words are so formal. They are binding aren’t they, some part of the Canis lupus magic?” She nodded as she continued to back up.
He turned to Peri. “What undoes this?”
Peri asked him as she shook her head. “Now, now, Adam, I can’t play favorites with you just because you are Fae.”
Adam growled at her, and then looked back at his mate. She was so close and yet it felt like an ocean separated them.
Rachel left Gavril’s side without a backward glance. Her shoulders were pulled back and her jaw tilted defiantly. Gavril made no move to stop her, nor did he speak.
Elle stood next to Sorin, staring at the females who had made their choice and she saw the pain it was costing them. She also knew that what Rachel had said was true. As the time from their rescue, passed Sorin had touched her less and less. He hadn’t used their bond unless absolutely necessary. They'd had no time alone together, no time to talk about their mating. She hadn’t even told him about her markings yet. All of this swirled in her mind and she found that she was hurt that he had kept her at arm’s length. She had watched the male Canis lupus struggle with their darkness, knew what it could do to them. And still he wasn’t allowing her in. She turned to look at Sorin and saw the moment he realized what she was choosing. Elle moved fast, knowing that he would never let her go if he got his hands on her. Sorin lunged and ran into the same barrier Fane had. He stared at her in disbelief, as her face betrayed no emotions, not until she spoke. “Your touch is uninvited.” Her voice was so small, he barely heard her, but he felt it. To his very soul, he felt it.
Peri looked over at Cynthia and raised a single eyebrow. “Would you like to pick a team?”
Cynthia shook her head at Peri’s ability to be so calm as they stood amongst enraged wolves with death in their eyes.
“I think it best that I be where Jen is,” Cynthia said as she made her way to the women.
Peri watched as the males stood, rigid, and motionless, staring at their mates. She knew that if she lowered the barrier they would no doubt attempt to drag them back kicking and screaming. Although, judging by the gleam in Alina’s eyes, she had a feeling that she would go willingly, only to then kick Vasile in his baby making parts.
“Remove the barrier, Perizada,” Vasile ordered, his eyes never moved from his mate.
“Sorry, Alpha. Can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t,” Decebel snarled.
“Tomato, tomato,” Peri retorted.
Decebel bared his teeth at her, and then turned back to Jen.
“You would keep our daughter from me?”
Jen rolled her eyes. “Don’t use the daddy card, B. She is toasty warm in this amazing body. If this party is still rolling by the time I go into labor it will be your own stupid fault.”
“I may not be able to touch her, but I can touch you.”
“Not anymore,” Jen parried.
“I can hear her heart beat Jennifer.”
His words stopped her retort and her eyes held his. Jen fought her every instinct to run to him, to have him wrap her in his arms and keep her safe.
“Make your choice B. Let me be what you need me to be.”
Decebel closed his eyes and Jen imagined that he was counting to ten…or one hundred. It usually took longer for him to cool off when he was mad at her.
“You females do not know what you are asking. There is a reason we are trying to protect you. Sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils and we have made the choice that we feel is best for you. We never consulted each other on how to deal with this situation so for me to see that we all made the same decision, to not let the horror we watched touch you, tells me that it must be the right decision.”
Peri started clapping slowly as she walked over to the females and turned to face the guys.
“Well said, Decebel. However I can’t decide if that’s the most caring thing I’ve ever heard from you or the dumbest.” Her eyes lost her twinkling playfulness as she confronted them. “You see, when I hear you say that the majority making the same choice must mean it’s the right one, what I really hear is, hi I’m Decebel and I’m a total dumb ass.”
Jen growled at the Fae. She didn’t like others insulting her mate. Only she was allowed that privilege.
“Pipe down, prego chick,” Peri quipped. “Decebel you cannot believe that crap. If your logic is correct then we should all condone underage drinking, minors getting it on like rabbits, and thinking that reality TV shows are good forms of entertainment. By your logic, Alpha, when your daughter is seventeen and boy crazy it will be okay for her bear her lady bits because the majority of her friends are doing it.”
Decebel took a menacing step towards her, his amber eyes glowing dangerously.
“Uh, Peri, not really helping,” Jen snapped.
Peri watched the seething Alpha as he glared at her. She could see that her words had hit a nerve and that’s what she had intended to do.
“Okay, as much fun as this has been, we need to be on our way.” She looked one last time at the males. “Just a suggestion from one bad ass to another, it would not be smart for you to touch your women. So don’t even try it.”