“I love you so much,” Noah whispered into my ear.
I didn’t have much to take off, so I slid my panties down and undid his belt. I quickly unzipped his jeans and pushed them to his knees. His mouth roamed freely all over my body. I allowed my hands to memorize him for the last time. He lifted me up, so my legs were straddling his waist. He thrust into me, filling me. I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent that was exclusively Noah. I dug my nails into his back and marked my territory. I allowed myself to feel. With each movement, I felt my heart break a little more. I wanted Noah to have the family he dreamed of, a chance at happiness. I knew I needed to leave in order for that to happen.
He spilled himself into me crying my name. Thankfully, it was quick and passionate because I didn’t know how much more resolve I had. He broke our connection and gently placed me on my feet. He brushed the hair out of my face and kissed me lightly. Seeing the love he had for me in his eyes nearly did me in. I told myself not to cry. I needed to be strong for both of us. This was for the best. I dressed quickly and gave him one last fervent kiss.
“Goodbye, Noah,” I said, walking toward the back door.
“Goodbye?” He was baffled. By the time reality set in, I was already out the door. “Jules!” he cried, trying to push past Dan.
Seeing Noah drop to his knees and break into tears broke the last remnants of my heart.
I started my car and sped home. I called Chase and told him I would go with him on two conditions. First, he had to hide me for the night so I could take my last exam, and second was that we leave right after. He agreed. It turned out Chase’s best friend, Guy, lived in Hoboken, right across the bridge. He was away this week, and Chase said we could stay there since no one would know to look for us at his place. I thanked him.
As soon as I pulled into my driveway, I didn’t even bother to shut the car off. I rummaged through my closet and found the biggest suitcase I could. I threw in the first things my hands touched and grabbed my rolled up wad of money so I could buy anything I forgot once we got where we were going. Grabbing my mini backpack full of irreplaceable keepsakes, I looked out the window before making my getaway. I quickly tossed everything into the trunk and sped into the night. Chase texted me the address while Noah was calling me like a lunatic. I kept hitting ignore but by the sixteenth time, I decided to answer and let him know I was fine.
“Thank God! Jules, what the hell was that?” he choked out.
“What was what?”
“We just… and then you… I’ve lost you, haven’t I?” He sounded so broken I almost caved. Almost.
“You have a family to worry about now, and it’s not with me, Noah. You need to get things fixed with Carrie. I’m just helping you with that.”
“By running from me?” he asked.
“I’m leaving. I love you and I always will, but it just wasn’t meant for us to be together. Fate took care of that for us.”
“Don’t give up on me just yet,” he pleaded. “Where are you going? I’ll come with you.”
“I don’t want you to.” The words burned my throat. “I’ve got to go. Take care of yourself.”
“I love you.”
I disconnected the call.
Not even thirty seconds later, my phone rang again. It was Ellie. I knew I was going to need to explain why I wasn’t going to be home for a while. It was going to be hard to be away from her. Especially since we had been inseparable for years. But I also knew I couldn’t stay in New York and watch Noah and Carrie raise their baby. I didn’t want to be the one to ruin things between Ellie and Jackson, either. She would pick me over him, and they were so good for one another.
“Hey, El,” I said, holding back my tears.
“It’s not Ellie,” a very angry Jackson roared. Shit! Well, I was pissed off, too!
“Hi, Jackson.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Jules? I thought you were a smart girl.”
“Excuse me?” I spat.
“Why are you playing his heart like this? Do you have any idea what kind of hurt he’s dealing with right now? Do you?”
“Do you have any idea how hurt I am right now?” I shouted back. “He was my everything, Jackson! Do you think this is what I wanted? No, it’s not! I’m not doing this for me! I’m doing this for him! If I’m around, Carrie won’t let him be a part of anything to do with the baby. As much as this is hurting him now, that would kill him, and I can’t do that to him. I will not do that to him!”
“Why can’t you guys see what’s right in front of your fucking faces? There’s a reason that you found each other again.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” I said. “Either way, he needs to do what’s right. He needs you now. Take care of him, Jackson.” I clicked off the phone and powered it down.
An hour later, I pulled into a swanky apartment complex in Hoboken. I knocked on the door Chase had told me and he opened it, wearing a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and no shirt. Damn it! I knew he was trying to make this difficult for me. Chase was broad shouldered with a chiseled physique. He had an intricate tribal tattoo that sprawled across his entire back.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I will be.”
He held his hand out to take the small bag I was carrying and then took my hand with his other one to pull me inside. It was a nice place. The walls were painted a light tan with brown leather furniture. He led me back to the bedroom, which was painted navy blue. A sleigh bed dominated the small space.
“There’s only one bedroom, so I’ll crash on the couch.” He turned to head back down the hallway.
“Chase?”
“Yeah?” he asked.
“You can stay in here with me if you want. But nothing will happen.”
“I don’t know.” He seemed torn. Chase was one of the good guys.
“Please,” I begged.
It was in that moment I realized how broken I was. I needed the comfort of being held, now more than ever. He walked back to the bedroom and lay down on the bed. I grabbed my bag and headed to the adjoining bathroom to shower and change. Once I was in the safety of the shower, I let the tears stream. I hated feeling so weak. I dried my hair and brushed my teeth. I dressed in my sick pajamas and climbed into bed next to Chase. I snuggled close to him and found comfort in the familiarity of his body. He wrapped his arm around my waist.
"Everything's going to be okay, Jules. Sometimes life has a way of testing us and sometimes it's just plain cruel, but things always have a way of working out how they're supposed to. Sometimes the fall kills you, and sometimes when you fall, you fly,” he whispered into my hair. I fell asleep wishing for a different ending.
I woke up in an unfamiliar, empty bed. That’s when everything came flooding back to me. I put my hand on the pillow where Chase had been sleeping and found a folded up piece of paper.
You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Winnie the Pooh
He always used to leave things on my pillow when we were together. This particular one resonated with me, especially because I was all of those things. I needed to pull myself together. I can do this. I went into the bathroom and checked my face in the mirror. My eyes were slightly puffy from crying, but nothing a little makeup wouldn’t cure.
I walked out of the bathroom and went to look for Chase. He was sitting in a recliner, reading the paper and sipping a Starbucks. I eyed it enviously. “I got you one. It’s on the counter.”
He smiled and I went to retrieve my coffee. “Hey, Jules.” I turned to look at him. “We’re going to get through this. By the time we’re done, you’ll come out stronger than ever.”
I smiled and gave him a kiss on the forehead before getting my coffee. “My exam is at ten. I shouldn’t need the full allotted time. I’m hoping to be on the road by eleven-thirty the latest,” I said.
“Sure. Sounds good.”
I fixed my coffee and turned my phone on quickly to see if there was anything from Ellie. Instead, I was inundated with texts from Noah.
If I never met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I always will.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it. I need you so much, Jules. I’ve been sitting in your driveway all night, and you’re not here. I’ve called every police station and hospital in the city. Please let me know you’re okay.
I typed in my text.
I’m fine.
I hit send and shut my phone off. I took one last look at my notes and scrambled so we could get to school on time. It was going to take longer coming from here and supposedly the traffic was a nightmare. We decided we would drive down to North Carolina in my car since Chase already had another one there. I packed up the few things I’d brought and stood in the hallway, waiting for Chase to lock up. When we got to the parking lot, I handed him my keys and sat in the passenger seat. I leaned my head against the window.
“Jules,” he said, breaking me out of my reverie. “I know you love Noah, but I think you two got back together way too fast. Honestly, not to sound harsh, but I think it was doomed from the start. He seems like a good guy, but you deserve to find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Someone who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. A guy who wants to show off how pretty you look, even in sweats.” He eyed my black sweats. “Who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup and reminds you how lucky he is to have you. The guy who says, ‘That’s her.’”
I knew he was referencing himself, and once again, I was going to have to draw boundaries in sand and blood to keep my heart protected. I had him take a quick detour before we headed to school. Chase pulled into the parking lot at Columbia and I went to check my mailbox for the last time. I left a note for the Academic Records office, letting them know I wouldn’t be making the graduation ceremony. I also said that they could mail my diploma to my address in Amityville. I walked into my last final, grabbed an exam off the desk and took a seat in the front row so I could leave as soon as I was done.
I woke up feeling unsettled. Carrie had called yesterday while Joe and I were at the football game upstate and left a message saying we needed to talk, but she hadn’t elaborated. I brushed it off, but then she persistently kept calling, texting, and emailing. She even started harassing Jackson. Finally, I relented and agreed to meet her on Wednesday morning to see what was so important. I wanted to tell Jules, but she seemed so fragile after her appointment with Melissa. I knew it had only been a day, but I was starting to get worried. She didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t push.
I trudged out of bed and went for my regular run. I checked my phone and noticed that Carrie had texted me again last night and said it was urgent. I called her before I got in the shower and told her I’d meet her in an hour. I showered and dressed quickly. I kissed Jules on the forehead and headed to Pat’s Café. I walked in and saw her sitting in a booth toward the back. She looked slightly disheveled, almost as if she’d been crying. I headed back and took a seat across from her.
“Car, you okay?” I asked.
“No. I don’t know.” She wasn’t her polished, put together self. Even though we weren’t together, I still cared about her. I wasn’t that much of an asshole.
“What’s wrong?” I prodded.
She reached into her purse and pushed something across the table under her hand. I lifted her hand to see what it was. It was a slender, white stick with two pink lines. All the blood left my face. This cannot be happening…
“Is this what I think it is?” I asked, and she started crying again.
“Yes. I’m pregnant, Noah. It’s yours.”
A million thoughts filtered through my mind. How am I going to tell Jules? What’s Jules going to think? This is going to kill Jules. I wish it were Jules. This cannot be happening! I couldn’t form a coherent sentence. I just stared at the test in front of me. First, I wanted to punch something; then I realized it could be a blessing in disguise. Since Jules couldn’t have children, this would give her an opportunity to be a mom, too. But Carrie was selfish and probably wouldn’t like that idea much. At least I had a while to convince her that we could co-parent.
We sat in silence for a while as I digested everything. I told her I had to take a little bit to let the news sink in. I hugged her and headed to the office.
I wondered how Robert was going to take it. I texted Jules to tell her to meet me for dinner so we could talk, but before we could meet, I chickened out. I felt like she was still too vulnerable. I sent her a few texts during the week, lying to her and saying I was busy at work. It killed me to do it, and I knew that wouldn’t work forever. I needed to grow a pair and tell her the truth.
Finally, I cleared my morning and headed to see her. I knocked on the door and she opened it, looking haggard but still beautiful. She had on an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of plaid shorts. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and I could tell she had just woken up. I explained to her that I wasn’t working all week and instead I was trying to work through some things. I took a deep breath and told her it had to do with Carrie. I just spit it out. “She’s pregnant.”
At first she looked stunned, then hurt, then angry. Very angry. I wanted to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay. She kept me at arm’s length, though. I assured her we would get through this together and that it could end up being good for us. I don’t think she was even listening to me. Then the switch flipped. She started screaming at me that I had lost my mind. She said she couldn’t give this to me, so she was happy for me. She wished me the best and then she started crying; it killed me. I pulled her into my arms, hoping I could show her how much I loved her. I told her I loved her over and over, but she backed away and ran to her room.
I pulled the letter I had written for her that morning out of my pocket and left it by the coffee pot, knowing that she would find it there. I left and headed back to the city and went straight to Jackson’s. I wanted his input on the situation. Once I got to his building, I pounded on his door until he opened it.
“What the fuck, dude? Do you know what time it is?” He rubbed his eyes and looked at me. “Oh, man, what happened? Are you okay?”
He grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. He walked straight to the fridge, moving the orange juice aside and opting for a beer; he was going to need it.
“Carrie’s pregnant.” He spat his beer all over the kitchen.
“What?” he choked.
“Preg-nant,” I said, enunciating each syllable.
“How did that happen?” His face was still red from choking.
“Seriously?” I asked, annoyed.
“I mean, I know how… but I thought she was on the shot thing.”
So did I, so did I. “Me, too,” I said, running my hands through my hair in utter disbelief. It was as if all the days I had taken to process the news had meant nothing.
“Did you talk to Jules?” he asked. “Is that why you look like someone ran over your puppy?”
“I just came from there. She wants to end things.”
“What? She can’t do that! How do we even know it’s yours?”
“I researched it and, given the timeframe, it would be too early to tell if it were someone else’s.”
“Fuck!” he said in exasperation. “We’ll just have to make Jules see that this could work.”
“That’s going to be a lot harder than it seems,” I told him. “For one, she’s stubborn and secondly, she knows that I’ve always wanted kids. Now that she knows she can’t have them, she’s hell-bent on making me work things out with Carrie. She wants me to have the family she thinks I want. What she refuses to see is the only reason I wanted a family was because I wanted one with her.” I started getting emotional.
Jackson put his hand on my shoulder. “Man, I’m sorry. This is so screwed up. Should I talk to Ellie?”
“No.”
We sat around for most of the day drinking, but we weren’t drunk yet. Jackson suggested sending her flowers. I called the florist and arranged a delivery to be sent to her work. After dinner, we took a cab to Double D’s. Ellie was sitting at the bar, talking to one of the other girls who worked there; I think her name was Willow. Ellie bounced up as soon as she saw Jackson and ran over, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him like a crazy woman. I felt a pang of jealousy. I knew Jules and Ellie were set to go on in a few minutes. I was just hoping to get a chance to talk to Jules between sets. I had to make her see reason.
Ellie went to go finish getting ready. I knew she would most likely tell Jules we were here. Ten minutes later, Jules strolled onto the stage and locked eyes with me. I noticed the song change immediately. I knew the song, because we were both big fans of Three Days Grace. I also knew what she was trying to do, and I was not going to let it happen. The song choice cut me; it talked about being hurt by the ones you loved and trusted the most. Then, the song switched to Theory of a Deadman’s ‘Bitch Came Back,’ and the irony was not lost on me. This was directed at Carrie and I would never be free of her now. She wanted her ring; she got it. It wasn’t big enough, and it wasn’t the right clarity, yada-yada. No matter what I gave her, it would never be enough, and now I was stuck. Fuck!
When Jules walked off the stage, the room burst into applause. I headed to the bar and ordered a shot. I was going to need it. Jackson tried to keep me from going back there until the end of the night, but I was sick of this shit already. We belonged together.
As I drew closer to the dressing room, I overheard a male voice mixed with hers. I saw red. I stormed down the hallway and stopped dead in the doorway when I saw her hugging some tool. She didn’t even notice me.
“Jules,” I said, trying to control my anger.
She stepped away from the tool, and he took a step towards me. It took all my self-restraint not to pummel him into a speck. He introduced himself as none other than the infamous Chase Mitchell. Douchebag.
I moved toward him and told him to stay the fuck away from her. He gave me a look and I lost it. I totally fucking lost it. I grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him hard against the wall, making sure I got a good slam in. His face was about to meet my fist when Jules yelled to cut the shit. Chase left, and she was pissed. Too bad; I was fucking pissed off, too. I started berating her about running off to someone else for a rebound fuck. I wasn’t surprised when she slapped me. I deserved it.
I lowered my head enough so I could capture her lips and I kissed her with everything I had in me. I professed my love over and over like a lovesick fool. She moved my pants to my knees and I happily obliged. When I finally slid into her, I was in my happy place, lost in Jules. I could have happily stayed like that forever. I pushed her up against the door and thrust into her over and over. She tightened, and I let myself go at the same time she did. I loved this girl so fucking much it hurt. I watched her get dressed, but I was confused; it was only the beginning of the night. I was hoping that she would offer to go back to my place so I could spend the night reassuring her that everything was going to be okay. Instead, she leaned in and kissed me.
“Goodbye, Noah.” She stalked out the back door.
I wanted to chase after her, but there was no way to get past the goon guarding the door. I tried calling her, but she wouldn’t answer. I called right back. Finally, she picked up and we had a bit of a fight. She told me I needed to fix things with Carrie and that she was my family now. Then she told me that she was leaving. Leaving…
I told her I loved her before she hung up on me. I crumbled to the ground, clutching my phone, and I put my head between my legs. I cried like I’d never cried in my life. For some reason, this was even worse than it was the last time. Probably because it involved an innocent life and things were entirely out of our control, once again.
Eventually, I headed home to wallow in self-pity. It literally hurt to breathe. I couldn’t allow myself to admit that it was over. She still needed me to hold her. She was testing me. She had to be.
I texted her a couple times and didn’t get a response. I started to panic. I ran to the parking garage and hopped in my Jeep. The only thing that I could think of was that she was so upset when she left that she had been in an accident, or something awful had happened. I sped like a madman to her house, but her car wasn’t there. She should have been home for over an hour. She wouldn’t have left already since there was nowhere for her to go.
I sat there like a statue. Her phone was off, and every possible scenario ran through my head. Ellie hadn’t heard from her, either. I started calling hospitals, then police stations. I was in a full-blown panic. I stared at her door for hours, waiting for her to come home. She never did; instead, I got a text in the morning, saying I’m fine. I tried calling her back, but she had already turned her phone off. I knew I should probably go to work today since I hadn’t gone the day before, but I couldn’t force myself to move.
My phone rang. I answered it on the first ring. “Jules,” I cried.
“No!” Carrie replied harshly. “Trouble in paradise?”
“No, everything’s fine,” I lied.
“Sure it is,” she spat sarcastically. “I just wanted to see what you were doing today. I wanted to go look at some furniture for the nursery.”
“Don’t people usually wait until they’re a little further along before they do that?” I asked.
“I want to see what they have. I’ll probably end up ordering something custom. I just want to see what options are available.” What had I gotten myself into?
“I’m not really feeling well today. Maybe another time.”
“Fine. But you’re not avoiding me forever, Noah Sinclair.” She hung up.
I backed out of Jules’ driveway and headed back to my condo. I mustered the nerve to call Robert and tell him I wasn’t going to make it in, again. “I hope you’re going to do what’s right, son,” he said before hanging up.
This just keeps getting better and better. I crawled into bed and fell apart. I clenched my pillow and felt something. There was a piece of paper under my pillow.
Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.
X, J
She had come here!
A week went by, then two and three. It had been a month since I’d heard from Jules. Ellie was tight lipped. She just said that Jules had moved on, and that she was happy. She wanted me to do the same, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I tried to use the lost phone app to find out where she was, but her phone was never on. It didn’t stop me from trying, though. Every single day.
Carrie had become more persistent about doing things together to strengthen our relationship before the baby came. I reluctantly gave her one night a week. Part of me felt horrible. I should be treating her better because she was going to be the mother of my child, but I just wasn’t there yet. Instead, I resented her for what had happened with Jules. I decided I needed to go home. I needed to clear my head.
I booked a flight that left the next day and returned Sunday afternoon. I needed my mom. I called and let them know I was coming home. She knew I was struggling with Jules being gone again, but I had yet to tell her about the baby. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react, and it needed to be a face-to-face conversation.
I packed my suitcase and forced myself to go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Jules. The way I felt about her just wouldn’t go away. I clutched to that piece of paper to myself like it was my lifeline. She haunted my dreams. She was ‘the one.’
I just wanted to run away. I spent the night tossing and turning. In the morning, I filled a mug with coffee and headed down to the lobby to meet with Segundo. We headed to JFK so I could catch my flight. Jackson called me on the way. “Hey, man.” He sounded glum about something.
“Morning, Jax.” I sounded like a zombie.
“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch or something?” he asked. It made me suspicious. I had known him long enough to know when he was trying to avoid something.
“Can’t. I’m on my way to the airport. I decided to head home for the weekend.”
“Why didn’t you mention it? I would have come with you. I miss June-bug.” He was referring to my mom.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t mention it,” I said. “I need to go alone. I need time to think about things. I don’t know what to do about Jules, or Carrie, or anything right now.”
“I’m pretty sure Jules is gone for good, bro.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked. Bingo. That was probably what he wanted to talk to me about. Ellie must have found something out. I dreaded what was about to come out next…
“This morning, Ellie was making breakfast…”
“And?”
“Well… she got a message from Jules. Except it wasn’t a text. It was a picture.”
“Okay…” I waited for him to continue.
“She was kissing Chase and holding her hand in front of the camera. It looked like she was sporting an engagement ring or something.”
“It’s probably the ring I gave her,” I quickly argued.
“No. It was a different one. I’m positive. Anyway, I forwarded the picture to my phone. I can send it to you if you want?” he asked.
“Yeah, send it over.” My heart beat out of my chest as each second ticked by. Normally, I would find the ride to the airport relaxing, but today it was anything but.
“Call me if you need to talk,” he told me.
“Thanks, Jax.”
I disconnected the call and waited for the message. As soon as it arrived, I opened it. Sure enough, it was a picture of Jules and Chase. They were kissing on a blanket. Her hand was in the foreground and she was showcasing a diamond engagement ring.
My heart shattered. I felt like I was going to throw up. How could she do this to me? I was trying my best to hold it together, but I was devastated. That should be my ring on her finger.
After I got to the airport, I made it through security with plenty of time to spare. I stopped for a drink at one of the restaurants. I didn’t give a shit that it was only ten in the morning. I sat there until it was time to board. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at every blonde who passed by, hoping to see her face.
After a short and uneventful flight, I grabbed my carry-on and headed to the rental car pick-up. Then, I started towards home. The picture of Jules and Chase was still burned into my mind. It was all I could think about. An hour later, when I pulled into the driveway, my mom came out and greeted me. She pulled me into a giant hug and pulled me down so she could kiss my forehead. Being the momma’s boy I was, I broke down and started crying.
“Come on, sweetheart,” she said. “Let’s go inside, and you can tell me all about what’s going on.” My mom, June, didn’t look at day over forty-five. She was petite and slender with dark brown hair and blue eyes. She was the kindest woman I knew.
I followed her inside and left my bag in the foyer. She led me into the kitchen. “I made you a pecan pie.” She cut a slice and put it on a plate, sliding it in front of me and handing me a fork. I took a bite. It was delicious, as always.
“Now tell me what’s going on,” she said.
I started filling her in. I was dreading dropping the baby bomb. She had the look like she was going to offer me some advice.
“Honey, you can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because you had the time you did with her. You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back, or you can open your eyes and see that she left. Your heart is empty because you can’t see her, but let it be full because of the love you shared. Cherish the memories of the times you spent together and let it live on, but she’s not yours anymore. Do you think this is what Jules would want?” she asked. It sounded like she was talking about someone’s death. I guess in a way that’s almost how I felt about the whole thing.
“There’s more to the story than that,” I said. “Remember when I told you that Jules met with Melissa, and she said conception didn’t look good for us?” I felt bad because my mom didn’t know the reason that Jules couldn’t have kids. I didn’t want her to have to carry that around. Not now.
“Of course I remember, but that’s no reason for her to run away,” she said solemnly.
“Well, I found something out a few days after that. I’ve been trying to work through it. It’s the reason Jules took off and why I needed to come home to clear my head.” She nodded for me to continue and placed her small hand in mine. “Carrie told me she’s pregnant. It’s mine,” I said sadly.
I should be ecstatic, but my heart is fighting me every step of the way. Carrie isn’t the one I want to share this with.
“Oh dear.” Her mouth dropped open.
“Tell me about it. I told Jules. I hoped we would be able to do this together. I wanted to do this together. She told me I needed to go back to Carrie and work things out. Then she left. This isn’t how it was supposed to end, Mom.” I fought back tears again. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with Jules at all. I don’t know where she is, but I know she’s with her ex, Chase. Then, right before I got to the airport this morning, Jackson told me he saw a picture on Ellie’s phone.” I pulled my phone out and showed her the photo.
“Oh, honey, you’re going to experience the best gift life has to offer. You’re going to be a father, an amazing one at that. Maybe Jules was right by doing what she did. I know you don’t see it that way now, but one day you will. She knew you wouldn’t have the chance to experience it fully if she was in the picture. Think of it as a gift.”
A gift, my ass. I wanted the baby and Jules.
“Mom, it’s too hard. I’ve loved Jules for as long as I can remember. I went all those years thinking I would never see her again. I got her back only to have her leave again. This time, she left on her own terms. I really thought I was ready to move on when I met Carrie, and I tried; I genuinely did. After being with Jules again, though, I know that she’s the one. I want to be with Jules!”
“Honey, it looks like she made her choice,” my mother said. “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t you. You need to do the right thing here, for the baby’s sake.” I could always trust her to tell me like it is. I respected her for that.
“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.
“You can and you will. You’re a grown man now, Noah. I raised you better than that.” I nodded in understanding. “Now, when you go back to New York, I want you to beg, plead, grovel, whatever you need to do to get back in good graces with the mother of my grandbaby. You understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good.” She kissed my cheek and flitted around the kitchen. “I’m making chicken and dumplings for you. Go take your things to your room and get ready to come eat.”
I spent the majority of my trip in my room staring at Jules’ old window. I was still feeling torn, but I knew what I had to do. It was going to kill me.
This is not going as planned. What’s taking him so long to come around? The bitch is out of the way, and this bitch is ready to get her man. Looks like I got them both by the Achilles heel.
“Everything’s going as planned,” the voice said.
“Excellent. Let’s just hope he takes the bait.” I trailed my fingertips over my abdomen and disconnected from the call.
My phone rang again. It was Noah. “Is everything alright?” I asked sweetly.
“Fine, I just wanted to let you know I’m in Georgia for a couple days. I’d like to see you when I get back. I was hoping to schedule an appointment with Melissa this week for an ultrasound.”
I hated that bitch, too. “I already have a doctor, and it’s too early to see anything yet anyway,” I told him.
“Okay. I’ll see you in a few days then.”
“Be safe.”
“Bye, Carrie.” He sounded miserable, but I wasn’t going to let that knock me off my pedestal. I finally had Noah Sinclair exactly where I wanted him.