Chapter 9

Sheena managed to stay as far away from Fawks as she could for the rest of the day, even at the risk of rudeness. She never dared snub him outright in front of the others before, but she did it now. She refused even to talk to him, and when he spoke to her, she answered in one-syllable words before turning her back on him.

The others noticed and showed him more consideration, but they still held him at a distance. Sheena couldn't bring herself to mention it to her friends, but they must have detected that strange aura around him when he first appeared. He affected the whole party the same way.

Fawks responded to her withdrawal with amused nonchalance. He didn't try to intrude on her and spoke to her only when absolutely necessary. He continued to lead the party at the head of their line while Sheena brought up the rear.

Even that only bound them closer together. No matter what she did, she found herself partnered with him in responsibility for this gang of interlopers. Everyone sensed it. Even Jasmine toned down her command to give sway to Sheena and Fawks. By the end of the day, everyone acknowledged the two of them were in charge. Everyone expected them to negotiate the logistics of their journey and make the hard decisions.

Sheena resented their dependence. Since when was she their babysitter? They were all grown adults, except for the girls, of course. They all had serious combat training. Jasmine had the same combat and command training as Sheena. Yet here she was, going limp at the most crucial time and throwing herself and her team on Sheena's shoulders.

From her place at the back of the line, Sheena placed herself side by side with Fawks. He wouldn't go limp, and he wouldn't throw himself on her mercy to get him through this. He at least could handle anything they came across in these woods, and he would use all his immense strength to help her handle it. How did she get into this position, anyway? How could a simple shuttle flight go so wrong?

Toward the day's end, Fawks started walking faster. Every evening, he outstripped them and hurried ahead. When they caught up with him, he had their camp prepared with a fire going near some clear waterway. As darkness fell, he passed around the bundle of morlock meat.

Sheena noticed the supply getting low, but she didn't mention it. Did anyone else notice it, or did they all plan to keep silent about that, too, until Fawks came up with some solution?

She started to hate her comrades. What weaklings they were, when the hammer came down! Was this the caliber of officer of which the Allies were made? How did they ever conquer half the galaxy with ranks stuffed with rotten apples like these?

She didn't mind so much when Fawks sat down next to her and tied up the bundle for the night. "I know you want something besides meat to eat, but I don't know the plants in these woods well enough to get you anything."

"Forget I said it. I was just trying to make conversation."

"We have lots of different kinds of food back home. Maybe you'd like to try them sometime."

"When would I do that? I'm not going to your desert any time soon."

"Maybe you could visit as part of your mission to this planet."

"I have no mission to this planet. My mission ended when I landed the research team here."

"Oh, right. Well, you could still visit."

"So, tell me what kinds of food you have. There can't be much in the desert."

"We grow plants in tunnels in our city complexes. We have vast underground gardens interconnecting all the different parts of the city. That's the only way we could feed so many people. The tunnels collect condensation from the soil all around to water the plants, and transparent overhead lenses let light in from the surface. The curators can open and close shafts to the surface to control the temperature in the tunnels."

She stared at him. "How did your people develop all that? I thought the Krataks shunned technology."

"My people developed the tunnels a long time ago. They couldn't survive in the desert without them, but the tunnels don't use any special technology. Everything about them runs by hand. People farm the tunnels and even raise livestock there."

"What kind of livestock?"

"Mostly pigs. Generations ago, my people raised a strain of the wild pig running in these forests. They changed the pigs' diet so they could be fed in the tunnels."

"I thought you said the pigs were dangerous."

"They are dangerous in the forests. In the tunnels, we keep them confined in caverns where they can't get out. They eat only that food the curators give them, and they don't do any harm to anyone. They breed prolifically and provide food to vast numbers of people."

Sheena shook her head. "I would like to see that someday, but I don't see how I could ever get there."

“I could take you there.”

“And leave all my friends behind, alone and lost in this forest? I couldn't do that.” He studied her with his crisp eyes, but said nothing. “I'm sorry I was rude to you before. You must think I'm stuffy and repressed for being shocked by that kind of sexual freedom.”

“I don't think you're stuffy and repressed. I just think the Allies aren't as advanced as they seem to believe they are. They seem to want everyone to believe it, too. That's the only reason you would find it shocking. If you experienced it for yourself, you would find it normal, as I do.”

“So, have you had a lot of sexual encounters with a lot of different women? I suppose if you have no restrictions on who the young people can go with, you could have as many as you want. You would break out and go crazy, bonking everything on legs.” She dissolved in nervous giggles.

“I haven't had any more than any other young man. When you grow up with that freedom, you don't break out and go crazy. You can't bonk everything on legs, as you put it, because the young women have as much say as you do about whether you bonk or not. Why do you laugh?”

“It just sounds funny when you say it like that.”

“You used that word. I'm only copying you.”

“I used it as a joke. Now you're using it in conversation.”

“Well, what word would you prefer me to use? I can think of a lot of different words for it, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

She covered her face with her hands, but that didn't help her stop laughing. “I don't care what word you use for it. Maybe we should talk about something else.”

“Why should we? If you're curious about our people's ways, you may as well as ask whatever you want to ask. Isn't this team on the planet to study us and learn about us?”

“They're here to study Clan Assan and Clan Harkniss, but you say you're different from them. If you hadn't come along and helped us, we would never have known anything about you. We might never have found out you exist.”

“Oh, you would have found out we exist. You might not have learned anything about our mating customs, but you couldn't land on this planet without finding out we exist.”

“Why not? You're so far away from this part of the planet, and with your cities being underground, we might have missed you entirely.”

“We wouldn't allow that to happen. We would have contacted you eventually.”

She didn't understand what he meant, so she shrugged.

“Would you like to go back to talking about the young people bonking each other?”

“No, I wouldn't. Let's talk about something else.”

“Then let's talk about you.”

“What about me?”

He moved closer to her. “Let's talk about what it would be like if you and I traveled to my city, with none of your friends around and with no customs or inhibitions to hold us back.”

She tried to draw away. “I don't want to talk about that, either.”

“But I do. I want to know what it would be like if you let yourself go the way you really want to and let me touch you and take you and make you scream with pleasure.”

Her ears and neck burned, and not from the heat of the fire. In spite of all her efforts to will herself away from him, a torturous pain spread between her legs. Her flesh swelled and yearned for him to touch her the way he did before.

She could turn away to the end of time. He already knew the effect he had on her. He could smell the desire rising from her skin. Her own sticky juices called him closer, pulling him in with gravitational force until he touched her.

“Why do you resist your own desires, Sheena? Do you not find me attractive?”

“I find you very attractive. Maybe that's why I resist it.”

“That makes no sense at all.”

“Not to you, maybe. You're dangerous.”

“When have I ever done anything to hurt you? I've done nothing but help you since I first found you.”

Her head shot up. “Is that why you've been doing this? Have you been helping us all this time as a way to get to me?”

“Would that offend you if I had? Does my attention disturb you so much, that you would begrudge your friends my help to get rid of me?”

“Of course not. I'm as grateful as the rest of them for your help.”

His face went hard. “I don't want your gratitude.”

“I know. You want my body.”

“I don't want your body, Sheena. I want you. If I wanted your body, I could have had it a long time ago.”

Her eyes popped open. “What's that supposed to mean? Would you have forced yourself on me?”

“Don't you think I could have? I could have, if all I wanted was your body. I don't want your body. I want you to want me the way I want you. I want your desire. I want your pleasure. I want you to lower your defenses and let me in. I just can't understand why you don't do it. What could you possibly gain by maintaining them?”

“I told you I have a fiancé back home. I couldn't betray him by letting myself go with you.”

“I don't understand that. Doesn't he want your pleasure, too? If he really cares about you, he would want you to take what you truly desire. He wouldn't want you to deny yourself for his sake.”

Rollo appeared before Sheena's eyes. She looked into his face the way she had a thousand times before. Did he truly want her to experience pleasure, even if that meant giving herself to another man? What would he say if he could see her right now?

Why did she even ask herself that question? Wasn't she a woman who could make her own decisions about her life? Why did she have to get Rollo's permission to make up her mind? If she wanted something, why shouldn't she get it?

She didn't have to look at Fawks to know she wanted.... what? What did she want? In the last analysis, what did she really want? Did she want a warm body to bonk against? If that's all getting together with him would be, she didn't want it. She could hold out a few more days or even the rest of the year until she got back to Rollo.

She didn't want a crazy fling in the middle of a forest. She wanted a man, a warm-blooded man with a beating, living heart in his chest. She wanted two strong arms around her and a chest to lean her head against. If she couldn't have that, none of the rest of it was worth spit.

She got all that from Rollo, but she wanted something else, too—something she didn't get from Rollo. He never fired her pulse the way Fawks did. He never threatened to attack her and take for himself. He never grabbed her and kissed her and touched her because he wanted to.

Something unchained lurked beneath the surface of...not Fawks. He was just himself. He came from another world with different rules. His attitudes toward gender dynamics and sexual customs were normal to him. He wanted her. So what? That meant little or nothing to her.

The dangerous thing, the unchained thing that disturbed her very sense of herself lay within herself. She wanted him. That was the dangerous thing. She wanted him with an overriding passion she couldn't control. If she really wanted to return to Rollo without getting mixed up with Fawks, she better run for the hills right now before that forgotten part of herself grabbed him and took what she wanted.

She didn't run for the hills, though. She couldn't even bring herself to move away from him, not even when he slid the last inch closer to her so his thigh touched hers. Her blood boiled, and her pulse pounded in her neck, but she couldn't tear herself away.

He tilted his head to one side and moved in close to her ear, but he didn't touch her. He breathed in a deep breath and let it out against her neck. Every hair along her spine stood on end. He was so close she could smell him. A strange smell emanated from his skin and clothes and hair. She couldn't identify it. His very strangeness mesmerized her and fixed her in one place. She stared into her oncoming destruction with glassy eyes, but she couldn't run from it.

He breathed into her ear. “You want it, Sheena. I know you want it. Let it happen. Don't fight it.”

She fought it, but she couldn't beat it. Rage and torment and passion all flared up in her soul to shatter her mind. She couldn't think. She couldn't move away when his hand rested on her knee and squeezed. A jet of lava torched up her thigh into her crotch. Her bones melted.