Chapter Nine
Kane spent the weekend working on Halley’s deck, and she spent the time avoiding him, as if afraid any intimate contact would lead to serious conversation. From long walks with Monty to a headache she couldn’t shake, to the Saturday night she’d spent alone working, she’d managed to find more time alone than with him, and he’d been at her house.
He’d known his approach, the deliberately slow seduction, could have her running scared, so he fought back his frustration and gave her the time she needed to come to terms with her feelings. Feelings he knew damn well she had for him. He’d seen it in her eyes as he’d made love to her and as she came for him long and hard.
Tonight, he and his sister were confronting their dad with Andi’s plans to move out. So much for a nice, relaxing weekend, he thought, disappointed but not giving up on her. Not ever.
That night, he arrived at Andi’s house to find Nicky shooting hoops outside as usual. Kane stopped to play a game of H-O-R-S-E with him before heading inside to see what awaited him.
He met up with Andi in the kitchen, where she was taking a roast chicken out of the oven. Wild rice sat in a bowl on the counter alongside asparagus with parmigiana cheese.
“Smells good, sis. Need help with anything?”
She smiled. “Thank you and no. I’m good. All I need is your support during the conversation with Dad.” She moved the chicken to the cutting board and began to slice it up.
“Where’s Dad?” he asked.
“Washing up. You know, I looked at a few rentals online. I think that’s the route I want to go. Nicky and I need to have our own space. It’s time,” she said as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel.
“Then that’s the direction we’ll take. Don’t worry. Dad’s an adult and it’s time he started acting like one. We’ve both made it too easy for him to backslide. You by paying the bills here and me by keeping him on at work even when he doesn’t show up.” Kane shook his head. “He might own the property but the business is in my name.”
She nodded, shooting him a grateful glance. “Okay. Nicky knows I want to move. I told him he’d stay in the same school district, so he took it well, but he’s worried about leaving his grandpa. Let’s not bring it up until he goes back outside to play.”
Kane placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Sounds like a plan. Can I bring the food to the table?”
“Sure thing. Thanks.”
Just then, their father came into the kitchen, way too chipper, which set Kane’s nerves on edge.
“Dinner smells so good, Andrea. Want me to get Nicky inside?” Joe asked.
“Thanks, Dad.”
A few minutes later, after Nicky had washed his hands, they were seated at the table. They ate a drama-free meal, Nicky talking about seeing his best friend over the weekend and Joe cracking jokes.
Finally, Andi sent Nicky back outside to play, and Kane knew the ball was in his court as far as bringing up the subject they needed to address.
“Hey, Dad, what’s with the good mood?”
Joe shook his head and didn’t meet Kane’s gaze. “Nothing you want to hear, son.”
Aah. So more gambling. “I take it you were out with Walter last night?”
Joe nodded. “Andi hired herself a babysitter so she doesn’t need me home.” He didn’t sound bitter about it, probably because it gave him free nights out.
Another step toward leaving their father, Kane thought. “So Dad, we need to talk to you.”
Joe whipped his head up. “Don’t want to hear about my gambling problems. I can stop any time I want.”
He just didn’t want to even try, Kane thought.
“This isn’t about whether or not you have a problem, Dad,” Andi said. “It’s about me. And Nicky and what I need.”
Joe lifted his head at that, clearly relieved the onus was off him. Or so he thought. “What’s going on?” he asked, concerned. Because gambling aside, Joe Harmon was a caring father.
Kane braced his arms on the table. “Dad, Andi’s decided—”
“It’s time I move out,” she said, taking over the conversation. “I want to get my own place for me and Nicky.”
Joe looked stunned. He opened and closed his mouth again, clearly in shock. “But we have a good thing here.”
“You have a good thing, Dad,” Kane said.
He pushed himself up from his chair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that Andi pays the bills and you use whatever money you earn—”
“Or take from me,” she added.
“—to gamble. And it has to stop,” Kane said quietly but firmly. “It’s too much for Andi to worry about you because she lives here and has to deal with knowing too much firsthand. Or the stress of knowing you’ll steal money from her wallet. It’s not fair.”
Joe’s shoulders slumped down, and he eased himself back into his chair. “I just borrowed a few dollars,” he muttered.
“Dad,” Andi said, exasperated. “On top of everything else, I need to have my own space. I’ve loved living with you but it’s time.”
He hung his head in what Kane assumed was a combination of shame and understanding.
Kane rose, walked over, and placed a hand on his father’s shoulder. “We think you need help, but it’s got to come from you. We’re through torturing ourselves for what we can’t change. But we love you, Dad. And we’re here if you need us.”
Joe remained silent.
“Dad?” Andi asked hesitantly. “You’re going to have to start paying the bills for this house and that means budgeting. I can’t tell you what to do about the gambling, but it’s not going to help you do what you need to around here after I’m gone.”
Joe muttered something under his breath. “I’ll make it work,” he said afterwards.
Kane didn’t know how and was sure there would be many challenges ahead. But if his sister was free of the burdens around here, he’d deal with the rest as it came.
* * *
Halley recognized that she was being a coward by not facing her feelings for Kane. Or rather by being afraid of them. She had looked them in the eye when they’d made love on Friday night, and it scared her to death. He was being patient so far, but she didn’t know how much longer that understanding would last.
She didn’t have time to think about it now because her mother sat across from her in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee, Monty at her feet, gnawing on his bone that was bigger than he was.
“And so the man tried to walk out of the store with coffee and bread shoved under his jacket.” Her mother laughed, shaking her head. “The store owner caught him and called the police. It was a complete nightmare with the cops coming and everything.”
Halley grinned, enjoying this lighter side of her parent.
“Well, I suppose he got what he deserved.”
“We all do eventually,” her mother murmured.
“Mom, stop beating yourself up over the past. That’s what it is and you did your time.”
She sighed. “I know. It’s just hard. At minimum wage, it’s tough to make ends meet. I’m handling it but…”
Halley had been thinking about this for a few days now. She knew life was difficult for her mother, and this was the first time her mom had even slightly mentioned her plight or complained. Unlike what her aunt had—and still—thought, her mother was here to build a relationship. Halley felt it in her bones.
So making the offer she planned felt right, too. “Mom, let me write you a check. Just to tide you over a bit.”
Her mother looked horrified. “No. I couldn’t take money from my own child!” Her cheeks turned pink. “Thank you, honey, but I couldn’t.”
Halley shook her head. “I insist.” She rose and headed to get her purse from the bedroom. “I’ll be right back.”
When she returned, her mother was washing her hands at the kitchen sink. “I spilled coffee over the top of the rim,” she said nervously. “I just feel so uncomfortable taking from you.”
“Stop.” Halley folded the check she’d written in half and handed it to her mom. “Consider it a loan if you feel bad.” At her mother’s salary, Halley didn’t expect to be paid back nor did she want to be, but if it let her mom retain her pride, let her think she would.
“Thank you.” Her mother pulled her into a grateful hug. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
Halley’s heart softened even more. “You’re welcome.”
“So I need to go because I have a late shift at the store.”
Halley nodded. “Today’s house cleaning day for me.” She planned to get started when her mother left.
“A woman’s work is never done.” Her mom laughed, gathered her things, and took off.
Halley spent the rest of the day scrubbing the bathroom, dusting the house, and doing laundry, feeling upbeat about her mom. The next time they were together she was going to gather the courage to ask about her sister, Juliette. She swallowed hard and continued her cleaning.
While in the bedroom, she noticed that her jewelry case was open, which reminded her she’d left the watch and ring she’d worn to go out with Kane on the windowsill in the kitchen.
A piece of hair had fallen out of her ponytail, and she pushed it out of her face, tucking it behind her ear as she walked to the kitchen and headed over to the sink. The watch remained in the same place but the ring was gone.
Her heart skipped a beat, her mind racing for an explanation that wasn’t the one immediately rushing through her mind. If Halley had put the ring back in the case and forgotten, she would have put the watch away, as well. And there was no way the ring could have fallen into the sink because she’d have heard the sound since it was a substantial piece of jewelry. She bit down on her lower lip and paced the room, still fighting the inevitable conclusion.
Instead of panicking, she picked up the phone and dialed her mother, but there was no answer. The call went straight to voice mail.
No. Her mother had genuinely fought her on taking the check. One for five thousand dollars, Halley thought, her agitation growing. She’d wanted her mother to have some breathing room. And her mother had known Halley had left the kitchen in order to write the check, so her mother had no reason to take the ring. Except the ring had been there, in the circle of the watch.
Why not take the watch, too? Because her mother had probably figured out the obvious, that the timepiece wasn’t worth money. It was a piece of junk, one with a nice look, but you could tell it was a fake. Halley bought it in a souvenir shop in town in case she forgot to take it off and accidentally wore it while painting.
But the ring? The ring was a family heirloom of sorts. It would have gone to her mother had she not been disowned, because October was her birthday, too, and the opal birthstone was unlucky, something that came from an old book in the 1800s. But she and her aunt had laughed about how fortunate Halley was to be able to own the gorgeous and expensive stone. She only took it out for special occasions, like her celebratory night with Kane. And now it was gone.
Her mother couldn’t have known she had the ring, but she could have planned on taking something of value. Or she could have gotten lucky and seen the ring on the windowsill and she couldn’t walk away from temptation. Did it really matter what her reason was?
She could have left the valuable piece of jewelry alone.
She could have valued her relationship with Halley, her daughter, above money, especially since Halley had gone to write her a check, anyway. The ring had just been a bonus. A windfall, really, since it was worth a small fortune.
Had this been her plan all along? Cozy up to Halley, pretend remorse, guilt, pain, soften her up so Halley would offer her money, which she’d done? Or had she just been waiting for an opening to steal something and run? She probably didn’t even have a shift tonight. In all likelihood, she’d needed to make her escape before Halley looked at the counter and realized the ring was missing.
Her heart was racing inside her chest, her mother’s betrayal pushing at her, mocking her for being such a fool. God, when would she catch a break? Her mother’s neglect and drug use landed her in foster care, most of the homes had traumatized her in one way or another, then her mother returned and Halley was pathetic enough to open her heart only to have her mother stomp all over it.
When her phone rang, startling her, she jumped and grabbed her cell from the kitchen table.
“Hi, sis.”
“Phoebe,” Halley said dully, unable to even muster a faked normal tone. Nausea rose in her throat at the thought of telling her sister. Phoebe was going to kill her, not for the ring but for giving her mother a check. For believing in her. For being a gullible, naïve idiot who couldn’t trust her own instincts on the one thing about which she should have known better.
“What’s wrong?” her sister immediately asked.
“I… I… Something happened,” Halley said, dropping to the nearest chair. Phoebe might say I told you so, but she’d also promised to be there for her, and Halley didn’t have the strength to lie about what had happened.
“I’ll be right there. Sit tight.”
But she didn’t. She couldn’t just wait, because the nausea that threatened bubbled over, and she ran to the bathroom and threw up what little she had in her stomach. She dry heaved afterwards, physically and emotionally spent.
This, this had been the last straw. She was devastated over her mother’s betrayal. This was the very reason she didn’t open herself up to people—because they inevitably destroyed what little faith she had inside her. She was sad, tired, and heartsick over it all.
Half an hour later, Halley was crying in her sister’s arms. She’d already soaked Monty’s fur, the little dog licking her tears.
She’d tried to dial her mother a few more times only to get voice mail. She really had been played.
“I wanted to believe in her so badly I ignored the two people I should have trusted.” Halley wiped at her eyes with her hands. “You and Aunt Joy warned me. I just thought—”
What? That she could wipe out the past by having her mother in her life in the present? Ridiculous, she realized now. She’d been blinded by hope and need and taken in by a woman who would always be a con artist.
Her sister grabbed a tissue from the box Halley had put on the kitchen table and handed it to Halley, then she smoothed Halley’s hair off her face.
“You can put a stop on the check first thing in the morning,” her sister said, and Halley nodded. She’d do that. It wouldn’t change the emotions behind it, but it was something.
“Do you know what I love most about you?” Phoebe asked.
“What?”
“Your heart.”
Halley opened her eyes wider. “Are you kidding me? I’ve done my best to keep the world out. What heart?”
“The bruised one in here.” Phoebe tapped at Halley’s chest. “You keep it hidden but it’s there. You tell me you love me every time I see you. You want to make up for lost time. So as mad as I am at you for giving her a chance and worse for writing her a check, I understand why you did it.”
Halley sniffed and blew her nose into the tissue. “Screw my heart,” she muttered. It was as broken and damaged as the rest of her. Her mother had destroyed what was left along with any chance of finding Juliette, something she wouldn’t bring up to Phoebe now. She would hold that knowledge inside. Phoebe never thought they had a chance with their mother anyway.
Phoebe shot her a sad look. “This awful feeling will pass.”
“Doubtful.” She vowed she wasn’t going to allow herself to feel this kind of pain ever again.
“What about Kane?” her sister asked.
On hearing his name, her heart skipped a beat. “What about him?”
Phoebe shot her a knowing look. “Don’t play dumb with me, Halley. You know what I’m asking.”
She rubbed at her gritty eyes. “I’m going to tell him what happened and explain why we’re over.”
“No! You can’t end things with him!” Phoebe practically shouted at her. “You care about him.”
She loved him but it wasn’t enough. The emotion she’d been fighting all weekend flooded her now, when her defenses were down. Not just down, at their lowest. She loved Kane Harmon, but they couldn’t possibly be together, because he deserved someone whole, someone who was emotionally available.
He deserved someone who wasn’t afraid, and right now that’s what Halley was. Afraid to live, to feel, to give of herself.
“I can’t keep things going with him,” she insisted. No matter how much it hurt to think about being without him, she couldn’t leave things as they were, because as much as she feared getting hurt, she was afraid of hurting Kane even more when he realized that she wasn’t capable of giving all of herself to him.
He’d said he loved her with his body, and she hadn’t been able to reciprocate the emotion, fear taking hold, and that was before she’d had her heart sliced out by her mother.
Phoebe looked at her with sad eyes but Halley couldn’t budge. “Kane needs someone who can give their whole heart and I’m not that woman.” She shook her head, knowing the safest, smartest thing to do was to return to her way of life before Kane, in her safe little bubble where she didn’t deal with people, and that way she couldn’t be hurt.
She’d gone into the relationship broken, and nothing that had happened could change the fact that her childhood had rendered her incapable of giving a wonderful man like Kane everything in life that he deserved.
* * *
Kane had had a shitty morning, coming off a shitty weekend. Monday dawned and his dad was banging around the shop, pissing everyone off with his bad mood and foul language. Kane had finally banished Joe to the garage to clean up in order to keep him away from customers and human beings in general.
He obviously wasn’t dealing very well with Andi’s proclamation that she was moving out. It’d probably hit him just how much a dent this new situation was going to put in his gambling money.
On top of that, Halley had gone MIA since midday yesterday when he’d left her house. He could have gone over, called, or texted her, but he’d had the distinct sense she’d needed time. Clearly his effort to push her into facing her emotions had backfired.
He’d given her last night, but he wasn’t going to give her more than that. After work today, they were having it out. One way or another she was going to face him and deal with her feelings. Too bad he didn’t know where they’d be when things shook out.
He walked into the garage only to find Liza there waiting for him. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered. Could this day get any worse?
“What can I do for you?” he asked her.
“My low tire pressure light is on,” she said, gesturing to her Porsche parked outside the garage.
“And a gas station could fix that in five minutes.” He wiped his hands on a cloth he had hanging from his pocket.
“Come on, Kane,” she purred, coming up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. “We were good together. I know what you like in bed, and we can have a long month of fun before the summer ends.” The scent of her perfume made him want to gag, and he grabbed her arms from behind his head.
Instead of taking the hint, she pushed him back to the wall and put her lips on his. Breaking her hold and her lip lock wasn’t easy, not without hurting her, and he couldn’t believe he was in this position with the woman.
“Oh, my God.” Halley’s voice whipped through him.
He shoved hard, sending Liza reeling back on her high heels, twisting her ankle as she stumbled. “Ouch!” she cried.
“Fuck.” He reached out and grasped Liza’s elbow to keep her from going down completely.
Halley looked at him with wide eyes and an utterly betrayed expression. No matter that she’d brushed off Liza’s play at the restaurant the other night, this looked so much worse.
Halley spun around, clearly intending to go.
“Halley, wait.”
“Kane,” Liza wailed, but he ignored her. She’d done enough to fuck up his life in the last five minutes. He wasn’t giving her another second of his time.
Halley didn’t turn and strode out the door, so Kane brushed past Liza and ran after her. “Halley! It wasn’t what it looked like,” he said, well aware of how lame the words sounded.
She turned back. “It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t. We matter.”
She shook her head. “That’s what I came to tell you. We’re over.”
“What?”
Sadness reflected back to him from her blue eyes. “I can’t do this and it’s not about Liza.”
He was certain her seeing him looking like he was kissing another woman hadn’t helped, but something else was clearly wrong. “Talk to me,” he said, as Liza strode out of the office and headed for her car.
Halley shook her head. “Just know it’s for the best.”
She pivoted back and walked to her car. Sensing he’d get nowhere if he pushed her now, not after what she’d just seen, he backed off.
But that didn’t mean he was going down without a fight.
* * *
That night, Halley walked down to the beach and stuck her toes into the lapping water. She left Monty in the house because she didn’t want to lose sight of him in the dark or worry about him even on a leash. She wrapped her hands around her knees and watched the waves crashing over the sand, but she didn’t find the peace the scenery normally gave her.
Her stomach churned harder than the water rising up and then receding. How had her life gotten so out of control in such a short time? First, her mother, who still wasn’t answering calls. If they hadn’t fallen into a pattern of her mother calling often or getting back to her quickly, Halley would have given her the benefit of the doubt.
But this felt like a complete ghosting. Meg had gotten what she’d needed from Halley and now she was gone. Until next time, when she needed something. Who knew what she’d do then. The only thing Halley was certain of was that she’d never let herself be open or gullible again.
Then there was Kane. She’d gone over to talk to him. To explain what had happened with her mother and let him off the hook because he deserved someone stronger, smarter, better in his life. And she’d seen Liza wrapped around him like a leech.
She swiped at her eyes, wondering how had he gotten into a position where he was kissing Liza. Her stomach cramped at the painful memory. Halley didn’t think he’d initiated the kiss, nor did she believe he desired it. Deep down, she knew there was an explanation that revolved around that bitch pushing herself on Kane, but as she’d told him, it didn’t change things.
Halley knew she wasn’t easy to be with. A relationship with her wasn’t simple or laid-back. She was a loner for a reason, and she was so sick of reiterating to herself all the reasons he deserved someone unafraid of living. He just did, and for that reason, she’d had to let him go.