CHAPTER EIGHT | VANESSA
Fifteen Weeks
“You can do this,” I chanted to myself as I forced a long, deep breath into my lungs, then out through my mouth. “Just stick to the script…just stick to what you rehearsed…”
I had ‘rehearsed’ breaking the news of my pregnancy to Josh Hudson at least a dozen times. In those practice conversations, Summer had played the role of Josh. Using a gruff, deep voice, she had tried to imagine all of the different reactions that Josh might have: surprise, shock, indifference, horror…
But no matter how many times we rehearsed the conversation, and no matter how many times we revised the script, I felt that nothing could prepare me for this moment.
I opened my eyes and blinked up at the red brick firehouse through the windshield of my car.
“Here goes nothing,” I gulped. Then I pushed open the car door and stepped out into the dense heat that hovered over the parking lot.
Even though I was dreading the moment that I would come face to face with the man from the wedding, I had still taken my time getting dressed for the occasion. I had styled my long brown hair into beachy waves and applied a full face of makeup, and I had picked a flowy pastel pink maxi dress that managed to conceal both the tiny paunch that was forming in my stomach, and my swollen breasts.
I rounded the edge of the building and found myself in front of the vehicle bay. The steel garage doors were rolled up, but there were no firemen in sight: not in front of the garage, where a freshly washed engine was glistening in the sunlight, and not in the vehicle bay.
I hesitated, then I stepped through the garage door and into the firehouse. My gold Jack Rogers sandals clapped against the cement floor as I crossed the station garage, and I realized that I had no idea where I was going.
I had assumed that I would know how to find Josh once I arrived at the station…but now that I was standing in the middle of the empty vehicle bay, I realized that I had no idea where to look.
I was giving serious consideration to turning on my heel and running back to my car, when I heard a voice bellow from across the garage:
“You look lost.”
I twirled around and saw a tall blonde man in cargo shorts and a Firehouse 56 t-shirt approaching me. He was rubbing the grease off of his knuckles onto a dirty garage rag, and he flashed me a flirty grin.
“I…umm...” I stammered nervously.
Is there some sort of rule that everyone who works at Firehouse 56 has to have Hollywood good looks and the physique of a professional bodybuilder?!
“Are you here for the group tour?” he asked.
I tilted my chin down slowly in a gesture that could be interpreted as an affirmative nod, even though what I meant to convey was: “no, I’m not here for a group tour, I’m actually here to find my one-night-stand from three months ago and inform him that he’s going to be a father…”
“They just finished the guided tour,” he said, pointing a finger towards a spiral staircase that led to the second floor. “I think they’re in the training room upstairs with Josh doing the safety demonstration now.”
Josh. My heart did a backflip in my chest.
Then, with another flirtatious grin, he added: “Want me to show you the way?”
“I can manage,” I assured him as I turned towards the metal spiral staircase. “Thanks.”
I had no intention of crashing a ‘safety demonstration,’ but I did like the sound of a ‘group tour.’
If I can blend in with the rest of the group, I thought to myself as I climbed the stairs towards the second floor, then I might be able to bide my time while I wait for the right moment to get Josh alone and say what I came here to say...
As I rounded the top of the staircase and stepped onto the second floor landing, I found myself staring down a long corridor. I could hear the muffled sound of voices coming from the end of the hallway. One voice seemed to stand out from the rest, and even though I hadn’t heard it in three long months…I recognized it right away.
That’s him.
I gulped as flashbacks to the wedding night flooded my brain, and I forced myself down the hallway, towards the source of his voice.
Relax, I told myself. He’s doing a group tour…you’ll just stand at the back of the group. You’ll blend right in…he probably won’t even notice you…
I reached the end of the corridor and I could practically feel the vibrations of his voice booming through the metal door of the training room.
I reached for the handle, took another deep breath, then I cracked it open slowly and slipped inside.
Oh, shit. Seriously?!
My heart immediately sank as I realized what I had just stepped into.
The training room was arranged just like a classroom. Rows of long vinyl tables and plastic folding chairs were set up, all facing the podium and dry-erase board at the front of the room.
The classroom was fairly crowded; nearly every chair was occupied, and nearly every eye was turned, diligently, towards the front podium. I might have actually had a chance of blending in, if it hadn’t been for one small detail…
The ‘group’ that filled the classroom was comprised entirely of children.
That’s right. Every single chair was occupied by a child.
So much for ‘blending in with the group,’ I thought darkly.
Miraculously, I had somehow managed to enter the room without being detected. I had two options: I could slip right back out the door and run far, far away…or I could stay put, and hope that nobody noticed me.
When my eyes flicked towards the front of the classroom and locked on Josh Hudson, I immediately chose the ladder option.
There was a cluster of adults standing in the rear corner of the room. They were wearing khaki shorts and matching navy blue polo shirt with ‘Hartford Hills Daycare’ embroidered on the breast. In my pink maxi dress, I knew I would still stick out like a sore thumb…but standing with the adults was my best chance at looking a little less out of place in the training room.
The daycare teachers flashed me a few curious frowns, but they said nothing as I squeezed myself behind them. I ignored them and turned my focus to the front of the room.
“How many of you have seen one of these before?” Josh was asking his students from the podium. He held up a white smoke detector, and a few hands shot up.
“Can anyone tell me what this nifty little gadget does?” Josh asked. More hands flung up, and Josh pointed to a little boy in the back row, dangerously close to where I was standing. I shifted on my feet, hiding behind one of the teachers.
“It’s a fire detector!” the little boy answered eagerly.
“You’re right!” Josh said encouragingly. “But technically, this device detects smoke, not fire.”
He placed the smoke detector down, then circled around the podium. The overhead light poured down on his face, flooding the dimple in his chin and casting a shadow over all of that stubble…
Shit, I dug my teeth into my lip as I remembered how that stubble had felt, rubbing against my cheek…or between my thighs…
My heart hammered against my chest and I felt heat spreading through my body.
After that night at the wedding, I had tried my best to revise history; I had tried to convince myself that I had been seeing Josh through Cabernet goggles, and I had tried to tell myself that he wasn’t actually as sexy as he looked in my memories…
But now, as I felt my insides turn into lava, I realized that my memories hadn’t been doing him justice; he was even sexier than I recalled. My eyes took him all in: those muscles bulging through the tight-fitting Firehouse 56 t-shirt he was wearing…that messy brown hair…and that tree trunk that I knew he had hidden in the front of his pants…
“Today we’ve talked about the many ways that we can stay safe and prevent fires,” Josh said, stepping back behind the podium. “But there’s one more thing I need to talk to you guys about.”
“A few months ago,” he continued, “Firehouse 56 was called to a fire that had started in a restaurant kitchen. By the time we got to the scene, the fire had spread to the daycare next door.”
There were a few murmurs across the classroom, and a few children squirmed uncomfortably in their seats.
“That was your daycare,” Josh said. “Who remembers that day?”
Every hand in the room shot up, even from the teachers huddled around me.
“Now because your teachers were very brave and very smart, they were able to get everybody outside,” Josh explained. “But unfortunately, one of your classmates got separated from the group, and she became trapped in the building.”
Josh walked down the aisle of tables, and he stopped in front of a little blonde girl.
“Mia,” he grinned down at her and offered his hand. The little girl eagerly slapped her palm in his, and he guided her towards the front of the classroom.
“By the time I found Mia,” Josh explained to the class, “The fire had spread, and she wasn’t able to find her way out of the building. So, she was hiding in one of the cubbies.”
Mia nodded proudly, confirming Josh’s story.
“I was there to rescue Mia,” Josh continued, “But when she saw my big helmet and bulky uniform, she was scared. She thought I was a monster.”
There were a few snickers across the classroom, but Josh held up a hand to silence them:
“Don’t laugh,” he said flatly. “Mia was incredibly brave. But she had never seen a fireman’s uniform before, so she didn’t know that I was there to protect her.”
Josh reached under the podium and grabbed an ash-stained helmet.
“This is the helmet I was wearing that day,” he said, holding the helmet up for all of the class to see. “But since Mia was frightened by the way I looked in this helmet, I had to take it off and let her try it on.”
He handed the helmet down to Mia, and she slipped it over her head with a proud grin. The class giggled again, this time at the sight of their classmate wearing the oversized headgear.
“I wore the coat too!” Mia announced proudly.
“That’s right,” Josh smiled, holding up a heavy black jacket emblazoned with ‘HUDSON’ along the bottom hem. “I let Mia wear my turnout coat, too.”
My brow furrowed and my mind raced, piecing everything together:
This fire happened a few months ago…around the time of the wedding. He gave up his coat for this little girl…that meant that he was exposing himself to the fire inside the burning building. Those burns I saw on his arms at the wedding…did he get those burns, from protecting this little girl?
The lump in the back of my throat multiplied.
He really is a hero…I thought to myself. My eyes glazed over as I watched Josh crouch down next to the little girl. Mia threw her arms around Josh’s shoulders, hugging him tight. She adored him, and he…he was a natural.
I can’t do this…I realized. The rush of emotions was too strong…I needed to get out. I needed to get some fresh air. I needed to get away from Josh, and I needed to get away from the tugging sensation that I felt on my heart when I watched him hug that little girl…
I turned to leave the classroom, but I failed to notice that another Firehouse 56 crew member had stepped into the room and was blocking the door. I narrowly missed colliding with him but, in the process of dodging him, I tripped on my Jack Rogers sandal and flopped straight forward.
My hands flung out ahead of me and caught the brick wall before I fell face-first onto the ground. But it didn’t matter; the damage had already been done. I had already made a commotion.
I knew that every pair of eyes in the room was glued to me, but as I shifted my gaze up, there was only one set of eyes that I cared about. And I found them: those stormy grey eyes, staring straight back at me.