Four days. That's how long I have left before I'm living every girl's dream.

In my case, marrying Cal Randolph is a dream I thought would never come true. I'm a lot more careful with my dress the second time, a beautiful cream colored gown I've picked out. I keep it at the store for a few last minute alterations, well away from his infectious desires.

And they're building by the day. Last night, I couldn't keep him off me. I decided to show him I'm serious about spending the next few nights back in the guest room I started in. Whatever it takes to keep up the fast for a few more days.

Heaven help me if it's any easier on my end. I'm thinking about the glimpse I saw of him in the shower this morning. He's started leaving the door wide open in the bathroom I always have to walk past. It's a strategically perfect view of his hard, wet body.

Lather. Steam. Muscles like steel and maddening ink drawn together like a kiss from a god, and just as dangerous. Just as tempting. Just as killing hard to resist.

I need to keep the distractions coming. I've thrown myself into reviewing a few new case files for work. I'm returning to China in a little under a month. Plenty of time for a lovely honeymoon, and for Cal to tie up a few loose ends related to his father. He's promised to go mobile with me for weeks, running his marketing campaigns overseas while we spend time together.

I can't wait for our first overseas trip as a married couple. I'm also wondering if I'll be able to tempt him into landing us a shiny new flat in Beijing for work and pleasure. Chances are this is far from my last trip there.

“Evening, doll.” Cal steps through the door, shooting me a sultry look.

Wonderful timing. Always when I'm trying to forget Mr. Tall and Sexy. I flash him no more than a quick look and a smile before he walks over, placing a peck on my cheek, and heads upstairs to change out of his suit.

Thinking about his formal wear falling away piece by piece is another vision I don't need in my head. I tap my fingers not-so-gently on my laptop's keyboard, seeking grounding, focus. Whatever gets my mind off jumping the man who's going to be my husband in just a few more days.

The call from my boss' number comes out of nowhere. It's later than usual. I lift the phone to my ear, expecting something she's forgotten when we talked yesterday. “Hello?”

“Madeline, I hope this is a good time because we need to talk. This isn't easy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, however...”

I don't like the pause on the other end. She's an experienced woman, a Sterner veteran, and as much as she likes me, I've never heard her so flustered. “What is it, Pam? More account restructuring?”

“No, not exactly. Listen, there's no easy way to say this – cancel your plans for Beijing in August. We've had to rescind your clearance.”

I can't believe what I'm hearing. I check the number on my screen, just to make sure some evil hacker hasn't spoofed her perfectly. The window on my laptop with Sterner Corp legal software locks, and doesn't open again when I input my password.

Jesus, it's for real. “What's going on? I don't understand.”

“Some troubling associations we've found recently in routine security sweeps through our system, I'm afraid. Tech department takes its precautions to an extreme, as you know. Your computer shows signs of being compromised, and IT thinks it's deliberate.”

“Deliberate? Jesus, Pam, I'd never –“

“No, no, certainly not! I don't believe you'd ever sabotage. Of course, you and I know you'd never risk sensitive information. I'm sure this is a misunderstanding, a mistake that'll sort itself out. Rest assured you're still on payroll. We can keep this leave going as long as we'd like.”

As long as it takes to investigate, which will determine whether or not you're canned over nothing. It doesn't take much imagination to read between the lines, and hear what she's carefully not saying.

“Whatever you need from me. This is a huge mistake. I don't get how this happened.”

“I don't either, to be honest. But I'm sure we'll work it out. You just worry about having an amazing time, Madeline. Congrats again on the big day.”

“Oh, I will.” I don't mean it to sound like a comeback to a challenge, but it does. “And thanks. I'd still like to know the minute anything changes. Call me, please.”

“Absolutely. We'll sort it out quickly, I'm sure. Might have to shuffle a few flights around to catch up for the ones we've canceled, but we'll have you back in place roughly when we planned.”

Yeah, and I'm not. I mumble another thanks and kill the call. That's when I hear Cal's footsteps pounding the staircase down to where I'm sitting.

“Maddie, what the hell? Did she give you a reason?” His eyes are furious. So bothered he could've only gotten that way eavesdropping from around the corner upstairs.

I'm not sure whether to be more offended, or alarmed that he cares so much over a baffling mistake. “I don't know any more than what you heard. You seem to already know something's up.”

“Be serious, doll. I need answers. Couldn't make out every word. What did she say, after the part where you were compromised?”

No sooner than I throw my computer down next to me on the couch, his hands are on my shoulders. He lifts me up in a grip too tight to be more than a concerned lover's. “Talk to me,” he orders.

First time in awhile I've wanted to slap the arrogance off his face. “No. Not unless you tell me what's going on, Cal. Why do you want to get up in my business so bad? It's like you know more than I do.”

His face drops and he releases me. Another strike against my confidence.

“Shit!” he hisses a second later, pulling out his phone. “Excuse me. I have to call the boys.”

“Oh, so you need to talk to Cade and Spence before the woman's who'll be your freaking wife in just a few days?” My hands are on my hips. I can't believe I'm scolding him in the same voice mom used to give daddy when he came home after dropping too much money at the bar.

I wish it was something so forgivable. This is far more serious.

He turns, giving me a long, questioning look like I'm the one who's acting all mysterious. “Doll...”

“No, Calvin! No secrets. Tell me what's going on.”

“God damn it, Maddie, there isn't time! Don't you understand I have to move? I can fix this for you, or we can chat. Already know which one I'd prefer. Give me time, please. Let me put my pieces where they belong, before I fuck up your life. I'll be home soon.” He's heading for the door. He isn't giving me another second for questions.

He might as well have just walked over and slammed a dagger into my chest. When teary heat pricks at my eyes, it's so intense I'm shaking. A ragged breath fills my lungs, making a loud wheeze. It's loud enough to stop him by the door.

“Maddie, no. Don't hurt, and don't worry. Let me do my thing. I'll explain everything later, doll, I promise you that. I'm sorry, this can't wait.” He stands there with a conflicted look on his face while I march to the couch, throw my laptop in my oversized purse, and march straight for the door. “Wait, wait, where the fuck are you –“

I'm just a few inches from his face when I lay into him. “Do it yourself, whatever it is, and forget about me. I'm a complete idiot. Nothing's changed. You're still taking matters into your own hands, and you won't talk to me about shit.”

“Doll –“

I push through the door, kicking it shut behind me before he can follow. A vicious satisfaction ripples through my veins when I'm racing down the hall, heading for the elevator. I don't look back until I've got an Uber on the way.

It's less than sixty seconds before the tiny thrill of standing up to him burns itself out, just as I climb into my ride's backseat.

I'm disappointed. Betrayed. Hurt.

I don't know what to believe about the man I love.

Don't know who or what he really is in the double life he seems happy living, and covering up. After everything that's happened, I'll never understand how he still hasn't learned to trust, to open, to throw me a simple bone so I can actually help.

I don't even know if I want to go through with this wedding anymore.

Is the ring on my finger real, or just one more lie hiding something terrible?

I don't know. There's so many blind spots.

To top it off, my sister almost takes the asshole prize away from him tonight as soon as I'm through the kitchen door, praying my parents aren't around. Kat looks up, holding a cup of that gross flowery tea she loves for reasons I'll never comprehend. “What did your idiot fiancé do this time?”

The absolute worst part of this rotten thing is, I can't even explain it because he's left me in the dark, and brought my heart a new ice age.