“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Mia.” The insincerity in Audrey’s tone tells me what she is saying is ‘I told you so’. I should have known better than to call her. She’s all I have, but deep down, as I was dialing my Aunt Donna’s farm, I knew she wouldn’t have any answers. She’s too wrapped up in her own world, so having empathy for another human being is something Audrey is incapable of.

“Audrey, Jimmy fired me. I have $713 of Paul’s next payment and have eight days to earn the rest.”

“I heard you the first time, Mia. I don’t know why you didn’t just let me stay and work something out. I—”

“Stay? Because we would owe him thirty thousand by now, Audrey! Jesus, are you that stupid that you don’t understand the hold he had on you? He was feeding you with enough drugs to keep you dependent on him!” I sigh, kneading the skin at my temples. “Audrey, I’m not going to have his money. What is Paul capable of?” I ask calmly, holding back the tears that have been threatening all morning.

“He’s capable of bad shit, Mia.” Her voice is low with an underlying hint of fear. It’s the first time I’ve heard something real from her since the night in the alley when she sounded genuinely sorry for putting me in this position. It’s this tone that I always find strength to figure something out, because after all the shit…she’s still my little sister. The one who used to drive me crazy, steal my clothes, insist on tagging along with me and copying everything I did…just to be more like me. If only I hadn’t fought it so much.

“Will he kill me?” My voice cracks and tears sting the sides of my eyes. Reality almost cripples me into another panic attack.

“He never told me what he did. I only know he comes from a line of bad people. I got the impression his entire family is in it.”

“Like the mafia?” My heartbeat skyrockets, the beat of its thump sounding in my ears.

“I don’t know…maybe. I thought him having so much power was hot, so I never questioned it.”

“Are you being serious right now? I’m worried for my life and you’re telling me how hot the man is that will ultimately murder me because I don’t have the money you owe him!” I sink against my small couch, exasperated with her fucking ridiculous logic.

Maybe I should have told Jimmy how desperate I was for that job. How deep Audrey was in and that my intentions weren’t to become a full-time dancer, but to fix her mess. Maybe then he would have taken pity on me and sent me right back out there. And do what Mia…make another twenty-eight dollars? A tear falls and I quickly wipe it away.

“I was telling you why I never questioned it Mia. Fuck, why are you always so judgmental of everything I have to say?”

“Because I’ve got to figure out a way to clean up your mess! Paul walked into that club last night and scared me so much I couldn’t keep it together long enough to run off the stage before the panic set in. My car sits in my driveway with four new tires, so now I owe Chance McKnight, too. I’ve sold everything in my house with any value and you’re telling me the man behind all my stress is HOT!”

“Chance McKnight…what does he have to do with this?”

Jesus, that’s what she got out of that! I pinch the skin at the bridge of my nose and sigh. Closing my eyes, my mind drifts over the memory of Chance. He was nice. Not at all what I had envisioned when I used to overhear the gossip. Hearing a bunch of strippers cackle over him, I’d made him out to be a class A pig, but who I met last night was anything but.

“Mia, he’s your ticket! You need to get to closer to him to get to his bodyguard. Get the bodyguard to fall in love with you and Paul will never mess with you again.”

“Audrey...” I warn.

“It’s not like I’m asking you to fall in love with an ogre. Hell, you don’t even have to fall in love, just make sure he does. I don’t even know his name, but he’s the only guy I’ve ever seen put Paul in his place. It’s a bonus that he’s a big hot piece of man.”

I think back to this morning when that big hot piece of man delivered my car with four brand new tires. The knock came so early that I was still in bed and tried to hide, fearing it was Paul. When a deep voice loomed through the door telling me I didn’t have walls and he knew I was in here, I was certain Paul had sent someone to do his dirty work. Once the voice said Chance had sent him, I opened.

He was one of the biggest guys I’d ever seen. Bigger than Chance…and that’s saying a lot. He swiftly landed a single key in my hand, said ‘Mr. McKnight fixed your tires and hopes you have a better day’ and walked toward a dark SUV parked at the curb. The tinted windows were so dark, I wasn’t even sure Chance was in there, but I felt him. Our eyes connected, without connecting, I’m sure of it.

“Mia, are you listening?” I shake the memory away, realizing she was still talking.

“What did you say?”

“I’m saying, find Chance McKnight!”

“I can’t just walk up to the guy and make him fall in love with me,” I scoff.

“Yeah…you’re right. He’s hard to pin down from what I’ve heard. That Gigi chick had it bad for him; she may know how to get in touch with him and then you can find the bodyguard.”

We fall into a silence, Audrey scheming about a bodyguard I have no interest in and me wondering what it would feel like to be wrapped in the safety of Chance’s arms. Technically, I felt them last night, but there was so much fear and anxiety ricocheting through my body, I hardly remember it today. What would it feel like to be the one he opens them for unconditionally? To protect them…love them? These thoughts are ridiculous. He may have been a nice guy to me last night, but it doesn’t change the man everyone talked about in that dressing room.

“Audrey, I have to go to the dance studio. I’m going to give Martha my notice and pack up my car. If Aunt Donna lets both of us stay, maybe we can get jobs and start over in Texas.”

“What about St. Louis? I want to come back, Mia. I don’t like Texas.” This is Audrey’s usual whine, but I feel the weight of this one equally. St. Louis is where we were both born and raised. The old house we grew up in, the one I still drive by sometimes, the dance studio that was once our mother’s where I still work. Julia, my favorite student, who I dreamed of watching grow up and become the ballerina I never got to be. This isn’t only Audrey’s loss. All of that will be left behind for me, too.

“We’re out of options, Aud.”

* * *

I hugged Julia a little tighter and a little longer today, hiding my secret that this is probably goodbye. I didn’t have the heart to tell her father and didn’t think it was right considering I didn’t get to the studio in time to give my notice to Martha, the owner. I only mentioned that I needed to talk to her about something before either one of us left for the day.

My last class is filing out and technically my day is over. Normally, I would be bolting out the door in order to get to my second job, but not today. Tonight, I have nowhere to be but at home, to pack up what is important.

I walk down the hallway toward Martha’s office with a knot in my stomach. Growing up, running up and down this very hall was as much a part of me as the blood running up and down my veins.

The door is open, just as it usually is, but I knock anyway.

Martha looks up, her green eyes softening as a smile takes over her elegant features. With her trim body and salt and pepper hair coiled tightly in a bun, she’s exactly what I envisioned my mother would look like at her age. A decade older than my own mother, being a retired ballerina, she had experiences that my mother could only dream of, so it was no wonder they became fast friends.

“Do you have time to talk?” I step into her office, trying my best to hide my apprehension.

“Of course. Do you want to close the door?”

I shake my head. “No,” I mumble, not wanting to feel closed in. Martha never closes her door, so the weight of that action alone may send me into a crying fit.

“I’m glad you wanted to talk. I’ve been meaning to ask if everything is all right, but you bolt out of here every night, in a rush to get somewhere. Are you okay?” Her eyes plot over my body as if looking for some outward evidence something is wrong. “You haven’t been yourself lately, Mia,” she adds.

“I’m moving,” I blurt out and her entire expression elevates in surprise.

“Oh? I was hoping that you were going to tell me you’d met someone special, not that you’re leaving us.”

Chance flashes through my mind and I’m pissed for allowing myself to get lost in a fantasy that included him and mad at Audrey for planting the seed that I need him.

“Audrey is already gone. She’s with Donna in Texas.”

“I didn’t know you still talked to your aunt.”

I nod, realizing Martha was close enough to know about the fall out between my parents and my aunt. Donna was not shy in voicing her opinion about Audrey’s addiction. She blamed my parent’s for allowing it. Which in some cases, maybe they did turn a blind eye to the signs. They were only giving her the same freedoms they gave me. How could they have predicted one kid would go right and the other wrong?

“I know my parents weren’t a huge fan of her before their death, but she’s still my dad’s sister-in-law and even by marriage, she’s the only family we have.” When Martha’s face softens and her eyes drop to the desk, I know I’ve hurt her. Martha’s tried more times than I can count to embrace Audrey and me.

I’ve worked for her since she bought the studio after their death, but I’ve always kept her at arm’s length. So much like my mother, she’s a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. But feeling the sadness in my heart with saying goodbye, I realize trying to keep her away did me no good. “I’m sorry, Martha. I didn’t mean anything by that.” I swallow, wanting to tell her everything, but I can’t.

She flaps her hand in the air. “No need to apologize, honey. You sound like you’ve thought this out, especially if Audrey is already gone.”

I nod, nervously. “We have,” I lie.

She smiles softly, but I see the disappointment in her expression. “Selfishly speaking, I’m going to miss you. Professionally speaking, the student’s and I are all going to miss you. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

“No, we’re both excited to start over in a new city,” I lie again, this one tasting more like acid on my tongue than the one before it.

Ten minutes later I’m walking through the back alley toward the same side street where I’ve parked my car for the past two years. I told Martha I would work out a one-week notice, cutting extremely close to my deadline with Paul. As if she had some sort of sixth sense, she offered to shift some things around so I could get south sooner, on the condition I kept in touch. Part of me was relieved with her promise, but as I took one last look around the studio I love, the finality of it all had tears streaming down my face that I still can’t stop.

When I step from between the buildings, the cold wind freezes the warm lines of moisture caused by my falling tears. I tilt my head down, my long hair shielding me as I walk into a firm chest.

My apology falls into a gasp when I look up and into the cold dark eyes of Paul.