CHAPTER TEN
Faith
The Walker residence
Today, evil lurked in this town. It terrorized and threatened but it did not conquer.
Only one other time in my life did I feel the terror and hopelessness that I did while standing outside of that school, and it was the week I spent in Iraq, where my freedom and body were stolen from me. Even back then, evil did not prevail. But knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with the horror we all went through today.
Now we sit, waiting with bated breaths, praying for the survival of a family member, one of my best friends. A woman who cared for all of our children when we couldn’t be there.
The thought of Julia not pulling through is too devastating to comprehend and it has me crying harder.
“Can I get you more tea?” Alissa asks, curling an arm around my shoulders.
I shake my head, unable to speak past my flowing tears.
Christopher walks into the kitchen with the phone in his hand, his expression grim. “That was Anna.”
My heart lodges in my throat, fear gripping me to hear his answer.
“Julia’s going to be okay.”
“Oh thank God.” The breath I expel explodes on a sob, my knees close to giving out on me.
Christopher gathers me in his arms, offering me the comfort I so desperately need. “Everything is going to be okay, Faith. Everyone is safe.”
I nod. “What’s happening with Annabelle?”
“She’s with Jaxson. Anna said he wouldn’t let her go home with them.”
I’m not surprised, and I can’t say I blame him.
Stepping back, I pull myself together, wiping the remainder of my tears. “I’m going to go let Cade know.”
“Alissa and I are going to sleep here tonight,” he says. “We’ll stay in my old room. If you need anything come get me.”
Warmth invades my heart at his kindness. Reaching up, I frame his face between my hands, loving the man he has become. “Thank you for being here.”
“This is my family, Faith. I’ll always be here.”
The softest smile touches my lips before I kiss his cheek then head upstairs to see Cade. A tightness forms in my belly, fearing what kind of shape I will find my husband in.
He’s been distant and quiet since returning home. There’s a rage in his eyes that I haven’t witnessed in years but amongst that fury also lies fear—one he battles every day due to the loss of his sister—the fear of losing the ones he loves.
Walking into our bedroom, I find him lying on the bed with an arm behind his head, his gaze trained on the ceiling. Mia is tucked into his side where he holds her close. Ruthie lies sleeping on the other side of Mia, her arm draped across her sister and Cade’s stomach.
The sight brings a small measure of warmth to my heavy heart, that’s until Cade’s eyes shift from the ceiling and anchor on me. The pain buried in them strikes me all the way to my soul.
My steps are quiet as I start forward. “Anna called,” I whisper, “Julia is going to be okay.”
His chest deflates as he lets out a painful breath. “Thank christ for one thing going right.”
Sitting next to him, my hand moves to his jaw, thumb sweeping over his firm lips. The blankness reflecting back at me leaves me feeling cold and helpless.
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“About how you’re feeling.”
His jaw flexes, teeth grinding. “I’m mad, Red. Really fucking mad.”
“I can understand that. I’m pretty angry too but I’m also thankful for everyone’s safety, especially our children.”
“Yeah, until next time.”
“Hopefully there will never be one.”
“Come on, Red. It’s a vicious cycle. This world is fucking heinous. Look at everything we’ve been through, it never stops.”
“Exactly, look at everything we’ve been through, Cade, and yet here we are, hearts still beating,” I whisper, my hand moving to his chest. “Loving each other and raising a family.”
He shakes his head, anger tightening his expression. “What if the next time we don’t come out on top? What if, after you’ve done everything in your power to protect your family and keep them safe, it’s still not enough? I can’t go through that again, Red. Not a second time.” His voice breaks, eyes lifting back to the ceiling as he tries to conceal his grief.
Tears cloud my eyes, my heart aching to heal this pain he will always harbor. “At the end of the day all we can do is love one another and live our lives to the fullest. I have to believe that God brought us here for a reason. I have to hold onto that faith, we both do, because without faith there’s no hope.” My breath hitches as sobs build in my chest.
His eyes shift back to mine, the unshed tears ripping through my wounded heart. He lifts his hand to my cheek, his hard expression softening. “I have all the faith I need right here.”
Smiling, I lean into his touch, craving it like I do every day. His hand hooks behind my neck, bringing my lips upon his. He kisses away my tears while I try to inhale all of his fears.
Eventually, I stretch out next to him, barely fitting on what’s left of the mattress. His arm bands around my back, tucking me in close to him as my head rests on his chest.
“We got this, Cade,” I whisper, slipping my hand under his shirt to feel his warm skin. “We can get through this like we have everything else.”
He drops a kiss on the top of my head. “Yeah, Red. We can.”
He says that but I know this is something we will always battle, his fear of losing us runs so strong. But every day I will be here, giving him the unwavering love and faith to see him through.