Madeline
When I woke up the next morning, it took me a moment to realize where I was. But only a moment, because then I realized a warm body was pressed up against my backside, strong arms wrapped around my middle, a large hand settled precariously close to my most private parts. And then there was the soreness. An almost dull ache between my legs and a soreness in my thighs as though I’d just been doing lunges for half the day yesterday. And I was pretty sure I had bruises in a couple of different places.
That all probably should have upset me, but as I recalled the events of the previous night, I couldn’t really let it.
Nikolai had been an incredible lover.
A part of me niggled, trying to make me feel guilty about what had happened. I’d gone to a bar and had a drink, let a stranger take me home, and then let him do all kinds of private, even dirty things to me.
He put his mouth on me, I thought to myself, feeling a blush race across my bare flesh. It wasn’t that I didn’t know about these kinds of things, I just hadn’t…well, hadn’t done them before. I never would have thought that a guy would want to slide his tongue across my nether lips.
But Nikolai had. And it had been amazing. All of it had been amazing.
He was bigger than I’d been expecting, so much so I’d nearly begun to panic, but he was so careful, taking his time with my body until I adjusted to his considerable size. At least, I thought it was considerable. Surely not all men were as…well-endowed as Nikolai was.
It doesn’t matter, I thought happily, snuggling up closer to him by wiggling my rear against his crotch where it was already nestled tightly. I’m here with him. I don’t need to know what other men look like.
And that was the truth. Yes, I had done this all backwards. I should have taken the time to get to know Nikolai better first. Then we could have dated for a while and maybe he would have eventually asked me to marry him. After the wedding, that was when this night should have happened, and that did make me feel just a little bit guilty.
My parents had instilled a very specific set of values in me, after all, and last night had gone against just about all of them. Sex was a special, private thing to be shared only with the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with. I knew I should have waited, but I’d never felt that sort of need for a man before, and even if we did it backwards, it could still work out all right, right?
I had convinced myself of how this all would work out when I felt something stir, growing hard between the cheeks of my rear end. A blush blossomed across my cheeks, even after all we had done the night before. Twice. I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do, but despite my soreness, well, I wouldn’t mind having another amorous encounter with Nikolai’s manhood.
He began to stir behind me, letting out a gruff grunt that whispered through my hair. His arm slung across my middle, his hand slipping over my body to come up and cup my breast. I groaned softly at the contact. My body responded by arching my back and pushing my rear farther into his crotch. By this time, he was definitely hard, just as he’d been the night before, and my breath caught at the thought that, perhaps, this would happen again.
“Good morning,” he said in a low, husky voice.
I smiled a little, looking over my shoulder at him. “Good morning. I…um, had a really good time last night,” I told him shyly, because I didn’t really know what you were supposed to do after. Especially in this situation. If we were married already, maybe it would be different, but we weren’t and this was a tentative area. There was so little we knew about each other and it would take time to forge memories and connections, but I was eager to start.
He laughed a little at me; I could feel it rumbling through his chest and vibrating back through me. It was delicious.
“Mm. Me, too. But I think we need some more practice.” He pressed himself against me and rubbed so he was sliding between my cheeks, though he hadn’t pushed into me again. “Don’t you?”
Which was incredibly erotic, but I was a little saddened by his words. “Oh. I’m sorry about that. I…I mean, I was hoping you wouldn’t know that it was my first time, but I can learn whatever you prefer and—”
I didn’t get any farther than that. Suddenly, Nikolai stopped rubbing and his hand released my breast. It took just a second more, and then he was throwing back the covers, pulling away from me.
Confused, I rolled over and sat up so I could see him better. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, suddenly looking tense, maybe even angry.
“Nikolai?” I asked, concerned. I reached for him, but when my hand brushed his bare, muscular shoulder, he flinched and shot up to a standing position. My eyes trailed down his body of their own accord, admiring his tapered waist and his firm, muscled backside. I’d never thought I would like the way a man’s butt looked, but I did. I wanted to curl my hands around it and urge him into me.
“Sorry,” he said curtly, suddenly. He began to pull on a pair of pants and I wondered what he was doing. Was he going somewhere?
“What’s wrong?” I asked, pulling the covers up to my chest to cover myself, feeling the shift in the morning and knowing that, somehow, I’d done something wrong.
He shook his head once, but didn’t look at me. “Nothing. I just can’t lie around in bed all day. I can’t afford to be lazy. I have work, a job, you know?”
I frowned. A moment ago, he’d been thrilled with the idea of staying in bed with me, hadn’t he? Sure, he’d said I needed practice, but…well, I thought he was willing to be part of that practice. His erection had certainly hinted at that.
“But—”
He dragged a shirt on, covering his bare, godlike chest as he interrupted me. He still wouldn’t look at me. “I have somewhere to be. There’s coffee if you want, but I have to go.”
Then he turned away and walked out. A few moments later, I heard the door slam behind me and I understood what it meant: time to go. A wash of sadness and embarrassment—worse, shame—rolled through me like a tidal wave, admonishing me silently for what I’d done.
This was why you didn’t go home with strangers. This was why it should always be marriage before sex. This was why the rest of the world was so horrid.
I shook a little as I clutched the sheet to my chest, staring at the spot where I’d last seen Nikolai, as though maybe he might be just kidding or confused and turn around and come back. Maybe this was a test to see if I would leave, or a joke.
But all of my ridiculous ideas were just that: ridiculous.
I had been dismissed. More than that, I’d been given the cold shoulder, making it perfectly clear that I was no longer welcome here in his apartment or in his bed. A sorrowful cry rang through me, but I quickly put a stopper on it. There was no point in crying, especially since I still had to catch a cab home.
So, I slid out of bed and searched for my clothing, dragging the sheet around with me so I wouldn’t have to do it naked. Though I was alone, I was no longer comfortable being undressed here in this apartment. I found my dress quickly, but it took longer to find the bra. I spent probably ten minutes looking for my panties before finding them and promptly realizing they were no longer wearable. They were mere tatters of fabric now and I knew I would have to go home without wearing any at all.
Hot embarrassment raced through me again as I got my bra and dress on. It seemed like a flimsy, racy outfit now in the light of day with the bed in disarray behind me, making my shame so much worse.
How could I have been so stupid?
After squashing a last, fleeting hope in which I leave my number and he gets back to me, I left the apartment, called a cab, and waited just outside the lobby doors until he arrived. I tried not to look guilty when I slid in, giving him my address, but I felt as though he knew. He had to.
Sliding down low in the seat, I closed my eyes and held back the tears.