I had avoided the pool, the bar and the tennis court all day, places I knew Nathaniel would be, focusing on work. I had packed my bags, knowing after I spoke to Nathaniel I would leave the country club and return to New Haven and back to Yale. I’d find a way to get by on what I had made over the summer.
I walked up the familiar dirt path and stared at the white, peaceful cottage hidden by full green willow branches. It had been the hottest day of the summer and I knew soon it would grow cold and the fresh green leaves would wilt when winter’s harsh breath blew. The warm water would turn cold and the grass would die, buried under snow.
But as I walked up to the cottage, pushing back long branches from my face, I felt in my bones it would take endless amounts of seasons to forget how Nathaniel Radcliffe made me feel.
So alive.
So powerful.
So in love with a man who had been my enemy and now was everything to me.
I paused in front of the door, my hand mid-air, so close to the handle. I knew as soon as I walked through that door I would be breaking my own heart. A heart I had guarded from everyone for so long. A heart that belonged to him.
I opened the door and stepped inside. The cottage, fully renovated, but still empty. The windows at the back of the cottage were completely finished and revealed the perfect, breathtaking view of the ocean and the beach. It was endless and Nathaniel had made me feel that way.
Breathless, complete, powerful.
He’d made me feel like I could conquer everything I had always dreamt of with him beside me.
I moved closer, stepping in front of the glass windows, reaching out, but not quite touching.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day.” Nathaniel’s voice echoed behind me and I felt his words shake my bones.
I breathed out shakily and slowly turned to face him.
He stood in the middle of the room, his head held high, his features guarded, a hand stuffed into his pocket.
Too beautiful to glimpse. That sharp jaw ticking as the seconds prolonged. That mouth pressed into a thin line. Those bright eyes filled with a hard glint.
I tried to match his posture; steel and iron. Unreadable. As always. “I was busy.”
Thick tension filled the room and each move I made was watched under calculating eyes.
“Nathaniel,” I said, the words leaving my dry mouth and filling our silence.
“What are we?” His words slashed through me; controlled, even.
I stared at him, all the blood leaving my face. “We…we were having fun.”
I watched him, but no emotion reached his face and he shifted his weight to his other foot.
I thought back to his mother’s office, to the deal I’d made with her. I had to break it off with him, and it would be now.
“It was a fling. We were just having fun to get rid of distractions…but—” My voice died on my tongue when I braved a look at him. His eyes had hardened. “I need to focus on my future. I doubt we’ll distract each other anymore since we got it out of our systems now.”
He nodded curtly, his eyes leaving my face since I first turned toward him. His fingers rubbed his jaw, humming to himself.
I cleared my throat. Emotions were brewing inside of me. Emotions I had never wanted to feel, never wanted to acknowledge. Saying those things to him when I wanted to say the opposite was crushing me.
But did he even feel the same way?
“I have to go, Nathaniel. Good luck in your future,” I said, keeping my voice as even as possible, but my heart was cracking open and spilling everywhere. He couldn’t see it though, he couldn’t see me breaking apart because I had mastered masks for so many years and he was believing it.
And for once in my life, I wished someone would see right through my lies. That he would spare me this hurt.
“I’ll see you around school, I guess.”
When he still didn’t look at me, eyes drilling holes in the hardwood floors, I walked past him, letting myself take a deep breath.
“I hope my mother’s money helps you.” His voice was like thunder to my ears and heart.
I froze, a lump caught in my throat and looked back at him.
His icy glare seized me.
And it all came together.
I hadn’t taken the money, but Mrs. Hawthorne had spoken to Nathaniel and told him I had. Probably told him the money-whore that I was had greedily agreed. That I didn’t care an ounce about him. That I was power-hungry and would do anything to get ahead, including using him.
Fucking my way to a shiny paycheck, is what he thought I’d done.
I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me.
Anger swelled inside of me and I fisted my hands beside me. I wanted to tell him exactly what I had done, that I had agreed to save his future, instead of saving us.
That I wasn’t being a villain.
That I understood how hard he’d worked to achieve his goals and that there was nothing I would do to put any of it in jeopardy.
That I loved him enough to let go of a future with him.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to kiss him and tell him he owned my heart.
That I loved him.
I love you.
Those words were like knives stabbing my chest over and over again as I stared back at him.
“Goodbye, Nathaniel.” I let my voice shake, I let tears build and I turned away, leaving him behind.
I rushed down the dirt path and back to my cottage. I kept my head down and made it into my room.
I was leaving.
I was leaving everything that happened this summer in the past and hidden deep inside of my heart.
As I gathered my luggage, I felt someone wait by my door.
I glanced up to see Mandy, her fingers playing with the edge of her blouse.
I looked away, huffing and zipped up my purse.
“Did you think no one would notice that you were constantly sleeping elsewhere? The way the two of you exchanged looks every chance you got?” Mandy shook her head, her blonde ponytail bouncing. “I’d do anything to get that reference, but sleep with my boss’s son is not one of them.”
Her words felt like a slap across my skin and I straightened, gritting my teeth as I rolled my suitcase out.
“You were my biggest competition and I wasn’t going to let a girl banging a rich snob stop me from winning,” Mandy continued. Because to her—to everyone else—I had been using Nathaniel for money and he had been using me for pleasure. A fun time. Nothing else.
“I wouldn’t do that for money either, Mandy,” I hissed at her. “But reporting people who believed I was their friend just to get ahead isn’t something I’d do either.”
Mandy’s scowl faltered and her eyes widened, but I didn’t stop. It was too late. I didn’t care anymore.
“What? You’re going to tell me you fell in love?” She rolled her eyes. “Please, spare me the dramatics. He wouldn’t fall in love with you, you’re just a maid.”
That hurt. a lot. Taking a shaky breath, I opened our front door and dragged my suitcase outside. “It doesn’t matter.”
Mandy stood in the doorway, gawking at me, her features drawn into a frown. “Wow, you really thought he might.”
I shook my head, blinking back tears. I made my way to the front entrance. Once outside, a tear spilled down my cheek and I brushed it away.
I got to the waiting taxi and loaded my one bag in the trunk.
I glanced back at the white, perfect manor. The place that was now filled with memories I didn’t think I’d ever be able to forget.
“Ready?” the old taxi driver asked, arching a brow at me.
I sighed, tearing my gaze away from the glimmering house of dreams and powerful men and women.
I sat in the back of the taxi and buckled up, clutching my shirt. A sadness swelling in my chest and my eyes burnt the longer I stared at the house. A few green leaves fell from the old oak trees, spiraling in the cooling air.
I had fallen for a god and I had to give him up to keep his immortality.
The summer was over and so were we.