Chapter Twenty
The first hour in the hospital waiting room, I spent crying. The next, pacing. Drew and Dom checked on me periodically, but once they realized I couldn’t be consoled, they found someplace else to wait for news. I preferred that. I didn’t need the shoulders of strangers. I needed my sister.
Norma arrived early into the second hour and found me screaming at a nurse, begging for an update. She assumed the responsibility of handling the hospital staff, which was better for everyone, and then assumed the responsibility of handling me.
“They’ll let us know as soon as he’s out of surgery,” she said when she’d returned from the nurse’s desk. “Right now we just have to wait. How was he in the ambulance?”
“He was conscious and breathing fine, so the paramedic said the bullet missed his lungs and heart, but the drive to the hospital was short, and they were hovering over him the whole time, so I really don’t know how he was.” I gasped for air, having delivered my run-on sentence without a breath.
Norma took the opportunity to hug me. “All of that sounds very positive. He’s going to be fine.”
“But what if he’s not?” It was the first time I’d been able to say this out loud, and as it was, I could only say it while facing over her shoulder. “I’ve been looking at the Internet, and lots of injuries seem fine at first but then there’s internal bleeding.” I pulled out of her arms and resumed my agitated loping around the waiting area. “And why the fuck are they not telling me what’s going on?”
“The Internet is not where you’re going to get answers, Gwen. Wait for the doctors. They’re taking a long time because they’re thoroughly examining his wound. Right now, we have to just be patient.”
I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded, even though she was asking for the impossible. As if I could be patient. Ridiculous as her suggestion was, I was grateful she was there. She was a godsend, really. Without her, I’d have probably strung up one of the medical technicians by that point.
The third hour, we still had no information. I was exhausted and in shock. I was so upset that my stomach churned and I almost puked.
Norma scrounged up a protein bar from a vending machine and forced me to eat it. “You can’t miss meals when you’re pregnant. That’s what makes you feel nauseated.”
“I’m nauseated because I’m sick with worry.”
“That too. But I bet this helps.”
It did help. A lot.
Shortly after, Drew appeared from wherever he’d been hiding.
I jumped up, my legs shaking. “Have you heard anything?”
He dodged the question. “Hi, Norma. Glad you’re able to be here with Gwen. Do you mind if I steal her for a while?” He turned to me. “We have some information we’d like to go over with you. If you could come with me—”
“I’m not going anywhere until I hear how he’s doing.” Realizing I was a little louder than I should probably be in public, I lowered my voice. “I’m fully willing to give a report, Drew, but not until I get an update.”
He smiled sympathetically. “I understand. However this conversation needs to occur now.”
Norma put a hand on my back. “I can text you if there’s any word. Maybe a distraction would—”
I shrugged her away. “What conversation? Do you know something? Did the doctor talk to you already?” My volume crept up again.
Drew remained unreadable. “Let’s discuss this somewhere else.”
“I don’t want to fucking discuss this at all unless you’re telling me that JC is all right.”
He leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “Gwen, I’m on his side. I’m on your side. Right now you’re making it difficult for me to help either of you.” He paused to let that sink in. “Please, come with me, and I’m sure we can get some of your questions answered.”
A beat passed before I reluctantly conceded. “Okay. Can we tell the nurse where to find me in case there’s any news?” It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Norma. I just wanted all my bases covered.
“That won’t be necessary.”
Wasn’t necessary because we wouldn’t be long? Or because he already had news about JC?
There was a fifty percent chance that his answer would kill me, so I didn’t ask.
Numbly, I followed Drew out of the waiting room and toward the elevators. I’d expected him to take me to whatever waiting room the rest of JC’s team had found, so when he led me instead into the elevator and pushed the button for the ICU floor, my uneasiness grew.
If he was dead, the doctor would have told me, I reasoned. If he was dead, it wouldn’t be Drew who broke the news.
But my basis for protocol came strictly from TV, so it was hard to feel reassured.
When we got to our floor, we were buzzed into the Intensive Care Unit with no questions asked. This had to be where JC was. And Drew must have already been up here. My uneasiness spiraled into dread.
Drew guided me to the end of the hall and stopped outside a patient room. He nodded to a police officer in uniform who seemed to be standing guard and then opened the door and gestured for me to enter. Tentatively, I stepped inside, surprised to find Dom was there, as well as two of his team members. They hovered around the hospital bed, blocking my view of the patient who lay there, but I could hear the heart monitor, its blip blip strong and even.
I brushed past the men, and at the sight of JC, let out a strangled sob, unable to speak. I’d been so fearful of what I’d see when I got to him, afraid I’d be met with vacant eyes and colorless cheeks and the rhythmic swoosh of an oxygen machine. Instead, he was sitting up, his face animated as he listened to Dom say something about the security level of the unit. He was bare-chested, not even wearing a hospital gown. A cord ran from JC to the monitor and another to an IV drip, but except for the bandage on the upper left side of his chest and the sling around his shoulder and arm, he appeared unscathed.
He opened his mouth to reply to Dom when his eyes caught mine. Immediately, his expression softened and he stretched out his right arm, an unspoken invitation for me to come to him.
I ran into the crook he’d created, tears streaming down my face. “I thought you were…” I couldn’t finish that sentence. “I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”
“I’m fine. Bullet went clean through. Tore some of my muscle, that’s all.” He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair. “I’m just so relieved that it didn’t hit you too.”
I cried harder, the anxiety of the last two and a half hours finally releasing in a torrent of emotion. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” I could barely get words out, so I kept saying it over and over.
“Shh,” JC hushed me. “Whatever are you sorry for?”
It had been my fault he’d been at that drug den. My fault that he’d been around the kind of people who would throw a shot at innocent bystanders outside the door of a heroin dealer. If I’d just let the police handle my father, JC would never have been in the line of fire.
It was too much for me to say, though, so I just cried, and he let me.
After a few minutes, I remembered we had an audience, and I started to feel self-conscious. My apologies could wait. The crying slowed, and I gratefully took the tissue Dom offered.
“I don’t understand why no one told me you were okay,” I said when I could speak again.
Drew was the one who answered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you out there. Too many ears. Until we can make a game plan, we prefer to operate under the illusion that JC’s condition is more serious than it is.”
I wiped a stray tear with one hand, keeping the other wrapped around JC’s. “It was almost three hours! You couldn’t even drop me a hint?”
This time it was JC who answered. “I wanted them to tell you sooner, but they had to arrange admission to the ICU and make sure the staff was on board with the situation before we brought you in. I’m sorry you were worried.”
Irritation prickled at me but was overwhelmed by relief and confusion. “You’re really okay?”
His grip tightened around my hand. “I really am.”
“Why are we in the ICU, then? Isn’t this unit for patients with severe trauma?”
“It is,” Drew answered. “But it’s the most secure unit in the hospital. And we don’t want Mennezzo to realize that JC is basically unharmed. Otherwise he might try to arrange another hit. This buys us a little bit of time.”
“Mennezzo? He wasn’t behind this.” I understood why Mennezzo would be a suspect, but it made just as much sense that the shooting had been because of our location. “This had to be someone else. We were at a drug den. It was most likely related to that. Wrong place, wrong time.”
I lowered my eyes. “It was my fault you got shot. When I think of what could have happened because of me…?” I couldn’t finish the thought, knowing if I did, I’d end up in tears again.
“You think this was your fault?” JC’s voice was sympathetic and incredulous all at once.
“Because you were there for me. I should never have risked either of us in a place like that. Not for the sake of the piece of shit that calls itself my father.”
Drew exchanged glances with Dom. “The shooting had nothing to do with your father, Gwen,” he said.
“You can’t just assume it’s Mennezzo. That’s jumping to conclusions. A hit man wouldn’t try to shoot at JC when the place was swarming with cops. That would be ridiculous.”
Dom nodded. “You’d think that, wouldn’t you? It’s exactly what I would have thought.”
My stomach curled. “Do you have something to prove this theory?” I hated the idea that I’d put JC in danger, but I’d rather he’d been shot accidentally, even if I had to accept the blame. Otherwise, it meant that Mennezzo was even more menacing than I’d thought. If his men really were brave enough to strike with police crawling all over, what else would they do?
Drew adjusted his collar. “We do have proof. The shooter was apprehended just after you left in the ambulance. He asked for his lawyer early in questioning, but, before that, he admitted to working for someone. Apparently he’d hoped that he could get away unseen in the confusion of the moment. Fortunately, he was wrong.”
It should have been a relief to know that they’d caught the hit man—and it was—but it didn’t outweigh the anxiety of knowing the man who’d ordered it was still out there. Panic flooded through me like adrenaline. “If he admitted to working for Mennezzo, then can’t you revoke his bail? Take him into custody? That has to be reason enough to put him behind bars. You have to get him off the streets so he can’t do shit like this!”
Drew shook his head. “I wish we could. But the name he gave wasn’t Mennezzo. We’re sure there’s a connection, but until we find it, we have no basis to bring him in.”
“Then we should go undercover. That’s what you’re suggesting, isn’t it?” I had no problem with that. Anything to keep him safe. JC would have to agree to that now.
I turned to him with urgent pleading. “You’ll take them up on the offer this time, right? You can’t argue with them. You could have died.”
“Yes. I’ll take them up on the offer,” JC assured me. “Just…” He trailed off, his gaze drifting to Drew.
“Just what?” When JC gave no answer, I directed my question to Drew. “What’s the just?”
“We have indeed extended our offer again to JC for protection, and he has accepted,” he said. “Whether or not you go as well is still being discussed.”
The expression on Drew’s face told me that it wasn’t he who was suggesting that I not go. A new lump formed in my throat, and I withdrew my hand from JC’s. “You don’t want me to go?”
JC looked to the men in the room. “Would you guys mind if we had a minute to talk about this alone?”
Dom nodded. “No prob. I need to restructure the men’s shifts anyway. Half of them have spent all day here, and we need to get them rotated.”
“We’ll have a man here at all times, if that helps, Dom,” Drew said. He signaled to one of the other men in the room. “I think we have things figured out for tonight, Jerry. I’ll walk you out. I need to leave a message for the attending physician anyway.”
They weren’t yet out the door before I jumped back into the conversation with JC. “Why don’t you want me with you?”
He reached for me, but when I kept my arms folded over my chest, he dropped his hand on the bed. “I do want you with me, Gwen. I want you with me always. We’ve been through this. There’s more to think about than you and me.”
“Who else is there? Our baby? Because she’s a reason that I should go with you. She needs her father.” I was almost shrieking, and I didn’t even care. I’d thought I’d lost him. I couldn’t bear to consider letting him go on purpose.
JC’s expression was gentle. “She does need her father.” He paused. “And that might not be me.”
I swallowed the sob that threatened. “Uh-uh. I don’t accept that. Even if you’re not the biological father, you’re the person I want to raise this child with. Only you.” We’d had this fight before, but neither of us had ever won. I wouldn’t let him beat me now. “You said you’d raise her. You said you wanted her no matter what.”
“I do want her. Or him. But if Chandler is the father, he has a right to be involved. I can’t in good conscience take his baby away from him, and I know that you can’t either. You’d hate yourself for that, and you’d end up resenting me.”
I shook my head emphatically. “You don’t know that.”
“I’m not willing to take that chance. Not if it’s not my kid.”
I wanted to keep arguing with him, but there was some validity in his thinking. Even though I was sure I wouldn’t resent him, I knew enough about Chandler to know he wouldn’t be happy if I took his baby away. And with the Pierce name and power on his side, it wasn’t crazy to think that he’d pressure whomever he needed to in order to find us. Taking Chandler’s baby away could put all of us at risk.
I wanted to kick something. Wanted to punch the mattress or the wall. How long would I have to pay for my relationship with Chandler? Would it always interfere with going forward with JC? Would I forever be steeped in such deep regret?
While I didn’t know the answers to those questions, there was one thing I knew with firm certainty—I would not lose JC again.
My only hope was the paternity test. “If you knew it was yours, would you let me come with you then?”
JC ran his hand across his forehead. “If we found out for sure that the baby was mine, then it would be another situation entirely.”
I tried to appreciate his cautiousness. He wasn’t willing to let emotion guide him. That was usually my position on matters, and he was usually the one telling me to let go and feel and trust.
This time I had to be the one who trusted. I trusted my instinct—the baby was JC’s. It had to be. I could believe in that enough for both of us, if I had to. “All we have to do is wait until the end of the business day tomorrow. The results should be in, and you’ll see. Then we can focus on protecting our family. Our family. Our child. Trust me.”
Before JC could respond, the door opened behind us, and I turned to see Drew had returned. “When do we have to act if we want to take you up on protection?”
“Well. The doctor wants to keep JC for observation tonight, so we are planning to get out of here first thing in the morning. The sooner we get moving, the better.” The way he rubbed his chin as he spoke, I could tell that he was anxious about even having to wait the night.
“Can’t you just give us until tomorrow evening? If you keep him in ICU with a guard at the door, what difference will another eight hours make? Please just wait until then.” I was practically begging. I’d beg for real if I had to.
Drew let out a heavy sigh then looked to my fiancé for the answer. “JC?”
“Gwen.” His face was pained and his voice soft and full of love. “There are so many unknowns. I don’t want to put you in danger. I don’t want to be the reason you take a stray bullet, and I don’t want you to have to have a baby away from your family.”
“Shut up. You’re my family.” I sat down on the edge of his bed, facing him. “I need you. I need to be with you.”
He was still hesitant, but I could see he wanted to give in as much as I wanted him to. I knew that the reasons he was torn were noble. He wanted me safe because he loved me. He wanted me with him because he loved me.
Finally, he said, “If the results come back saying that this baby is Chandler’s, you have to stay.”
I wouldn’t make that promise. “It’s not his.”
JC reached out and ran his hand down my face. “I know.” To Drew, he said, “We’ll wait until tomorrow night.”
My entire body sighed in relief, almost as great as the relief I’d felt to find he’d survived the shooting with little injury.
Drew clapped his hands together. “Tomorrow night, then. Got it. Here’s how we’ll proceed. Gwen.” He waited until I’d shifted to face him. “You’ll need to come by after visiting hours. You have clearance to be here at all times, but the hospital will be quieter then. Bring only your essentials. No suitcases or duffle bags. You can pack something small that appears to be items from home for JC. That’s it. Come alone and tell no one the truth about JC’s condition or what the plans are from there. We’ll have a team waiting here to escort you to a safe house and then your new location.”
A bubble of sadness formed in my chest for all the people I’d have to leave, the people I couldn’t say goodbye to. But I pushed it away and held on to the knowledge that I’d be with the person I loved most. If I had JC, I had everything. “I’ll be here. Is there anything you want me to bring for you?”
“I don’t need anything.” JC put his hand on my knee, stroking it tenderly. “If we decide that it’s just going to be me, Drew, how do you want Gwen to handle that?”
“I’m going with you.” It wasn’t an option.
“It’s a backup. That’s all,” he reassured me.
He was being prepared. I understood that. But I suddenly saw a flaw in his logic. “It’s a stupid backup plan. If you’re gone, what will stop Mennezzo from going after me?”
“That’s not his M.O.,” Drew explained. “He’s not out for revenge; he’s out to avoid prison. There’s no benefit for him to go after you.”
“I’ll keep a guard employed to watch over you just in case,” JC added. “Dom has agreed to oversee your safety, even though I won’t be able to keep in touch with him this time since I’m going with Drew.”
“We’re going with Drew.” I frowned. “And I can’t fucking believe you’ve already made arrangements otherwise. Aren’t we supposed to be partners?”
“Just a backup plan,” JC said again. “I had to explore every scenario.”
“Well, this scenario is not happening.”
“If for some reason you don’t go with him, Gwen,” Drew said, ignoring my objection, “we’d want you to stay quiet about JC’s disappearance for as long as possible. That gives us until your wedding ceremony. It may be uncomfortable, but that’s a perfect opportunity for people to discover he’s gone. It will also distance JC from you publicly so that Mennezzo isn’t on your back.”
“You mean he just won’t show up for the wedding? And I’d have to announce that I’d been jilted?” Everything about this idea made me prickle with rage.
“You could have Norma do it.” JC continued to caress my leg. “You wouldn’t have to face anyone. Then you could go on our honeymoon by yourself and get away from all the stress for a while.”
“I don’t want to go on our honeymoon without you! And I don’t want to go to my wedding knowing you aren’t going to be there. I’m going with you, JC. That’s all there is to it.” I felt like a child having a tantrum. Making demands that I had no authority to make.
I hated my powerlessness. Another second of it, and I was going to break down again.
JC must have sensed my fragility. “Let’s take this one step at a time, okay? Tomorrow, we’ll get results. We’ll go from there.”
I bit my lip and nodded. Everything was going to be fine. One more day, and we’d find out that JC was the father, and he’d have to let me go with him then. It was going to be fine.
“I love you,” I said softly, in case he’d forgotten.
“God, I love you too.”
I knew he did. Hearing it relaxed me. There was no way he’d leave me when he loved me as much as he did. He was gallant and strong, but I was his weakness. I adored that about him, and right now I had to rely on it as well.
The door opened again. This time it was a nurse who entered. “How you doing, Bruzzo? Did those pain pills kick in yet?” She walked over to the other side of his bed as she talked and examined his bandages.
“They’re working as well as I’d expect,” he said. He gestured to his IV line. “Do I really need to stay hooked up to all of this?”
The nurse looked at his chart. “Your next antibiotic dose isn’t for another four hours, so I can unhook your IV, but any patient that comes in here gets chained to the monitor. You’ll have to deal with it.”
He gave her his most charming grin. “What will happen if I unplug it as soon as you walk out?”
“An alarm sounds, and I’ll be right back in.”
I laughed. It wasn’t often that a woman could resist JC’s wiles. I certainly couldn’t.
He wasn’t deterred. “Can you just give me an hour? After that, I’ll do whatever you say, no complaints. I promise.”
“I swear I prefer it when the patients can’t talk,” she muttered. Then she sighed and unplugged the monitor from the wall. “Well, look at that. This machine doesn’t seem to be working. I’ll have to switch it out. It should take me about thirty minutes to find another one.”
Wow. I was impressed.
JC didn’t seem to think he’d won all that he could yet. “At this time of night, they’re probably harder to find. An hour sounds more like it.”
She scowled. “Forty-five minutes.”
“Sixty.”
I covered my mouth to stifle a giggle.
Drew joined in the battle. “I’m probably going to need some of your time going over what that chart should say, Lydia. Give them the hour.”
Her scowl remained, but she said, “Only because it’s you, Drew.”
“Drew,” JC called after him, “can you flip the overhead off? And make sure no one bothers us, will you?”
“I’ll tell the guard.” He flipped off the switch, leaving the bedside lamp the only light in the room, then shut the door behind them.
I pulled out my phone to shoot a text to Norma saying that JC was going to be fine and that I’d call her in the morning. Then I looked at the man I planned to spend my life with. The man I was sure I’d lost. “You better not have gotten the room emptied so that you could give me more of your talk of backup plans.”
“I got the room emptied so I can give you more of me.” His tone was full of innuendo.
I chuckled as I ran my finger across his collarbone. “How much more of you?”
“All of me.” He lowered his voice. “Especially the hard parts.”
No matter what else was going on with my emotions, he could always make my stomach flutter. “Will we still get married?”
“As far as I’m concerned, we’re already married.”
“But we can make it official? I don’t care if it’s in Vegas or at City Hall. I just want to be yours.”
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. “Anything you want. Come up here with me.”
“I am up here with you.” I stretched across him, my attention on his bandage. He’d been sitting forward the whole time I’d been in the room, I realized, not letting his back touch the bed. “How long will you have to wear the sling?”
“Only a couple of days so that the stitches aren’t ruptured.” He leaned up and kissed my jaw.
I winced as my mind flashed back to the look on his face when he’d been shot, the way he’d fallen in front of me. I was pretty sure I’d have nightmares about that for years to come. “Does it still hurt?”
“Like a mother. I need you to distract me. Take off your panties and get up here.”
I narrowed my eyes, not sure if he was playing around or if he really wanted what he was suggesting. “There are people just outside the door.”
“People nearby turns you on.” His wicked smile dissolved into a serious expression. “Get up here.” He said it in his commanding voice. The one he used when he bossed me around during sex. The one I could never say no to.
I didn’t hesitate any longer, standing to remove my panties. I wasn’t feeling particularly aroused—not yet, anyway—but I understood that he needed this. He needed me. I needed him as well. We needed this familiar way of ours. Needed the intimacy and support. Needed to feel as united as possible when we’d almost lost everything.
After I’d tossed my panties aside, I pulled down his sheet, exposing the long, lean muscles of his torso and the tattoo that decorated half his chest. The Japanese letters that read, “The current age of existence is but a brief moment in the current scope of existence” had influenced him to live for the now. I, instead, took it to mean that everything would pass away. The bad, the awful, the situation that seemed impossible to overcome today—all of it meant nothing in the grander scheme of things.
And so what did have resonance for all time?
Love, I decided. Only love.
I swept my fingers down the design and then gripped the waistband of his briefs. I lowered them down, releasing his cock. He was already half-erect, and he grew thicker under my gaze. Just watching him harden for me got me wet.
With my lids half-closed, I climbed onto the bed. He sat up straighter, an awkward move with the use of only one arm. “Are you sure you can do this?” I asked.
“You’re going to be doing most of the work. Stop stalling and get on me already.”
I straddled his lap, gathering my skirt at my waist, and hovered over him. With his good hand, he rubbed his cock up and down my folds until I was wet and he was fully hard. “You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he murmured when he lined up his head at my entrance.
I bit my lip and sank down onto him. Slowly. Enjoying him more than teasing him. Letting myself feel every single centimeter of his shaft along my walls. He made me feel so full, so filled. So utterly complete.
Shifting my weight to my knees, I began to pulse up and down along the length of him. My tempo was even but laidback, and selfish. He generally preferred to race us toward release, and while I generally preferred whatever he gave me, this was what I needed to give him right now—attention he could luxuriate in. Patient adoration. Tenderness. Love.
He dug his fingers into my ass, pulling himself closer to me. “You’re so fucking tight in this position,” he groaned.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I can feel you everywhere. All through me.”
“I want to be everywhere inside you.”
“You are.”
We didn’t say anything more, letting our bodies and our touch speak for us. His kisses were both sweeter and deeper than ever, and my orgasm, when it arrived, stretched and unfurled through me, reaching every molecule of my being with its satiating bliss.
When we’d finished, I curled up next to him under his sheet, my temple pressed to his. I crossed my arm over his chest and let my fingers dance aimlessly along his neck as we stared up at the ceiling. My mind was calmer now. My anxiety quieted.
“I’m sorry, Gwen,” he said, breaking the silence.
“For what?”
“I should have listened to you. We weren’t safe. I put you and the baby at risk. If that bullet had hit you instead—”
“Stop it. It didn’t hit me. We’re okay, and after tomorrow, we’ll be even safer.”
“Yes. We’ll be safe. All three of us.” He brought his free hand up to sweep up and down my arm. “Tell me something. The other day you asked if I cared about testifying for Corinne more than anything else. Do you really think that?”
I was surprised by the question and started to tell him that it was only said in the heat of the moment then thought better of it. This was a time for honesty. “Truthfully, I really don’t know. It wasn’t fair to say that to you. Testifying is the right thing, and part of me believes you’d do it for anyone. But another part of me can’t help but feel like you chose her over me. When you left me the first time, it was for her, in a way.”
I couldn’t see his face, but I felt the furrow of his brow anyway. “It was for me. It was what I had to do.”
“I know. You’re a good guy like that. I also know you loved her, and even after she died, you were still willing to sacrifice your life for her.” I’d thought these words for so long, but it was so strange to finally be having this conversation. Even stranger was how unimportant it seemed now. Funny how a traumatic situation could change a person’s perspective.
“I didn’t realize that’s what it looked like to you.”
“It did before. Not anymore. Now I understand you better, and I admire your commitment to justice. Not everyone would be willing to go through that, even for someone they loved as much as you loved her.”
“I don’t know if seeking justice is a real testament of love.”
“Not the seeking justice,” I clarified, “the sacrifice.”
“Yeah. Sacrifice.” He was quiet a beat. “You know, I don’t remember that feeling anymore. I know that I loved her, and I know that I could barely function when she died. But the actual emotion? It’s faded now. Especially in comparison to what I feel for you.”
I took a shaky breath in then let it out. “I used to be so afraid that you’d always love her more than me. I feel so stupid after I hear you say something like that.”
“That’s not stupid. It’s natural, I think. But, you know, it was never possible that I would always love her more. There was a time that I did, of course. Before I knew you. When we’d just met. But every day that passes, what I felt for her dims. And every day that I know you, my feelings grow. I love you more today than I did when I asked you to marry me. And I loved you more then than when I asked you the first time. And I loved you more then than when I first realized that I loved you at all.”
He rolled onto his good arm so he could face me. “As long as we’re alive, it will keep growing.”
I turned toward him and cupped his cheek. “I wouldn’t have lived if anything had happened to you today.”
“You would have.” He circled my nose with his. “It might feel like you had died, but you’d have lived.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted to live.”
“I only want to live because of you.”
Somehow, without saying it aloud, I was pretty sure we both understood what this really was—our wedding. These were our vows. These were our declarations of love and commitment. Whether or not the paternity test showed JC as the likely father, we wouldn’t have the ceremony that we’d planned. So we’d have this instead. This was just as good.
Maybe this was even better.