During the whole eight-hour flight, I sit in silence. Lincoln makes several calls. One to ensure a car will be waiting for us on arrival. Another to David, who we left behind in Lisbon, ensuring that any meetings he had scheduled over the next few days were rescheduled and giving strict instructions that no one was to bother him. Except for David. He is always the exception to every rule. Lincoln’s next call is to his grandfather. I eavesdrop as he quietly discusses the events to come. I’m positive that Lincoln thinks I’m in my own little world, and for the better part of the flight, he would have been correct. But as we get close to New York, it’s time to set my worries aside and lock them up. I need to be fully aware of my surroundings once I step off the plane.

I take note of the fact that even though it is a one-sided conversation, it appears that neither he nor his grandfather is concerned about security. Lincoln advises his grandfather to make sure that the security detail for his parents is brought up to speed, so they know what the risks are. I think to myself, What a wonderful way to meet the family. ‘Hi, I’m Lillian. My father is a mobster, actually head of one of the strongest families in New York. Yes, the Irish mob is out to kill him and my family, and because your grandson is in love with me, you’re all targets now, too.’ Way to go, Lillian. I give myself an imaginary fist pump in the air.

“What’s going through that mind of yours?” Lincoln asks, his voice full of concern.

I shake my head and laugh a little. “Oh, nothing, just that I’ve totally ensured a bull’s eye now hovers on your family’s back. I’m sure they are going to just love me.” Once again, I shake my head. Only this time, my eyes are closed, giving Lincoln the chance to stealthily make his way to me, so it isn’t until I feel the cushion under me move that I know he is sitting beside me.

“Stop it, Lillian. My family will not think badly of you. What they will think is, who is this amazing woman who has finally stolen Lincoln’s heart?” Lincoln’s hand squeezes mine. “We can’t choose our family, baby. Nor can we choose what they do for a living. We are not defined by our parents or our relatives. Only you can define who you are, and baby, you are amazing.”

My heart falls a little more in love with Lincoln. “Lillian, you are an amazing surgeon. Hell, the world ranks you as one of the best. Does that sound like someone anyone would be ashamed to know, let alone love?”

I shake my head, acknowledging the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me. “I’m sorry about everything. When I was a kid, I didn’t want anyone to know who my family was. Once I graduated college, I prayed no one would find out but not because I was ashamed of them. No, it was because I wanted to be me. I wanted to earn respect because I did an amazing job and knew that I had the friends I did because I was Lillian, not Lillian Vicci, mafia heiress.” I lift my face to Lincoln’s and place a chaste kiss on his lips. “Thank you for seeing me and not my family.”

I stand in the door opening of the plane, taking in my surroundings. I’m not sure who or what could be waiting for me once I exit the plane, but one thing for sure is, I’m ready for anything. The driver quickly makes his way through Manhattan traffic, pulling up to New York Presbyterian. The media is already outside of the building. They’ve been camped there for days, it seems, as Lincoln steps out of the limo, hiding me from the flashing bulbs. “Ms. Vicci, can you give us an update on your father?” a voice calls out. “Ms. Vicci, how do you know Mr. Eastwick? Are you in a relationship?” another voice yells. “Ms. Vicci, is it true now that Anthony Rizzuto is head of the family that you’ll be married to him?” I feel the misstep in Lincoln’s stride as the question is asked.

Out of nowhere, Angelo appears. His fist flies through the air, connecting with the jaw of a short, balding man with a microphone in his hand. “Now there’s a story for you all to print. Respect the family, will you? You’re all disgustingly bloodthirsty for a story, and when you can’t find one, you make one up. You don’t have to now. That fucked-up jaw of yours is all the story you need. Ask another stupid question, and I’ll be happy to answer you with my other fist.”

Inside the hospital, I see Sal, Nicco, Remi, and Anthony standing outside a closed door, speaking with my mother. I quickly rush to her side, throwing my arms around her, and finally let the tears I’d been holding in loose. “Mother, I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”

My mother tightens her grip around me. “Hush, girl, you’re here now. Though I wish you hadn’t come. You were safe wherever you were. Everyone will know you are here now, even those we don’t want to know.”

I listen eagerly as my mother brings me up to speed on my father’s health. Quickly, I go in search of the physician assigned to my father, requesting that I be able to review his chart. Dr. Brandon gladly hands over my father’s chart and eagerly answers my questions. My attempt at being professional crumbles as I review his recent vitals. “He’ll never survive another operation,” I state, assuming that is the next step in my father’s treatment.

Dr. Brandon’s hand reaches for my shoulder. “Walk with me, please.” I do as I’m asked and follow Dr. Brandon to an empty room. “Ms. Vicci, it is not my intention to operate. As you said yourself, your father won’t survive another surgery. Had your father only suffered another heart attack, we would possibly be looking at different options, but he has had a severe stroke as well, and between the blockage to his heart and his brain, there isn’t anything we can do for him. Your father has been in a coma for several days now, his vitals are dropping daily, and as you say, they are so low now that I honestly don’t see him making it through the night. I’m sorry to say this, but I recommend that you say your goodbyes quickly.”

I run for the door, down the hall, and into Lincoln’s arms. “I can’t do this, Lincoln. I can’t say goodbye to my dad. It’s not fair.”

Lincoln clutches me tightly and whispers in my ear, “You have to do this, or you will never forgive yourself. I’ll come with you if you want, but baby, your mom says you don’t have much time. Go do what you know is right and say goodbye.”

I want to scream and punch Lincoln for being so calm, but I can’t. He’s right. The doctor inside me knows that my time is limited, but the daughter inside of me wants to hold on and ignore the inevitable. My hand brushes across my face, wiping the tears from my eyes as I pull out of Lincoln’s arms. With my back straight and my head held high, I walk past my mom and the boys and head straight into my father’s room.

The beeping of the monitors and the whooshing sound of the BiPap machine are all that I hear. There is an old plastic chair beside my father’s bed, and I make my way toward it and sit down. The color of his skin only supports that without the BiPap he wouldn’t be able to breathe on his own. I reach for his hand. It’s cold and pale as I squeeze it.

“Father, I’m here. Sorry it took me so long.” There is a spike in my father’s rhythm strip on the cardiopulmonary monitor when I touch his hand. “I’m sorry I left the way I did. I never meant to hurt you.” Once again, a quick blip spikes. “I know you can hear me, Father, and I want you to know how much I love you. I’ve never regretted being a Vicci, though I know at times you thought I did. I didn’t. Not ever. I’m proud to be your daughter, but most of all, I’m proud that I’m just like you. No one will ever tell me what I can and can’t do. You’ve taught me to always stand up for myself and to be me. I’m the best at what I do because you were always there pushing me to be better in the back of my mind.”

I see a brief flutter in my father’s eyelids. As much as I want to get excited, I know that it's an involuntary muscle reaction. Though in the back of my mind I choose to believe that my father is acknowledging everything I’m telling him. “Father, you’ll never have to worry about me. I have someone who will protect me just as Angelo did. He loves me, and he is very powerful, but not in a bad way. No, he is good, respectable, and from a family that even you would like. His grandfather is a senator, and his other was an admiral. He’ll protect me just as his grandfathers protected all of us. I love him. Don’t worry about Mother. I’ll make sure she is taken care of and protected as well. I’m sure Anthony will keep your empire alive, but I’m taking Mother away. It’s time, time we stop living in fear of other families and start living our own lives.”

I sit quietly for a few more moments and watch as my father’s vitals drop even more. He’s fading so quickly. I stand, squeeze his hand one final time, and say, “I’ll always love you, Daddy. Always.” As I release his hand to get my mother for her goodbyes, a straight line rolls across the screen. A tear slips down my cheek as the door flies open and our entire family fills the room. Everyone is busy saying goodbye as I shuffle to the back and smile knowing I sent him off with the endearment I called him as a little girl. I hope it brought him happiness in his final moments.