The words poured out of me despite the fact that some part of me was appalled.

How could I be telling him?

At the same time, it was almost…freeing. I couldn’t stop the words that came from me any more than I could stop the air that flowed in and out of my lungs. I felt like I was purging myself, and each layer of the complicated, messy past that I revealed to him was another layer of dirt I was sloughing off.

This isn’t the person I want to be, I wanted to shout at him.

I wanted to make him believe it, but at the same time, I knew who I was, and I knew what I’d done. I told him nothing less than the truth when I said I’d done what I felt was necessary, but that didn’t change the fact that I’d done some ugly, awful things.

Finally, all of it was out, and I stood in front of him, my breath coming in hard pants like I’d been running a race.

He stared at me like I’d sprouted another head, and after a moment, he spun away.

I watched as he rubbed his hands up and down his face, then dropped them to hang loose at his sides. “Are you…are you serious about all of this?” he demanded, still not looking at me.

“This isn’t the kind of thing that people would joke about,” I said, hearing the exhaustion in my words.

“It’s easier to believe it’s a sick joke than to think some bastard would basically sell his sixteen-year-old daughter off into marriage.” He turned to face me. “Is this what gypsies do? Is this normal?”

“I…” Floundering, I shook my head. “No. There are a lot of clans that are more…progressive than we are. Arranged marriages still happen, but the girls have to agree, and they don’t force girls to marry at fifteen or sixteen. Not all of them are con artists either.” Forcing a smile, I added, “I guess my sister and I were the lucky ones.”

He looked at me, eyes unreadable. “Some luck.”

Unable to stand the scrutiny, I went to turn away. My heel caught on an uneven seam in the sidewalk, and I tripped, listing sideways. Big, strong hands caught my arms, steadying me. I found myself leaning against Kian’s chest, staring up into his eyes.

“Damn you,” he muttered. He pushed a hand into my hair. The heat of his hand sank into my scalp, and I had to fight the urge to sink further into him. Fingers spread wide, he started to massage my scalp, and I swallowed back the moan that rose in my throat.

His eyes drifted down to my mouth, then slid back to meet mine.

“Damn you,” he said again, just before his mouth came down to cover my lips.

I opened for him, already so weak for him, so needy. His tongue thrust deep into my mouth, swooping in to steal my breath. Slipping my arms around his neck, I leaned against him, heart racing in my chest, pounding against his. Could he feel it? How could he not?

The kiss was over almost as soon as it began, although he didn’t step away immediately. He stood there, hands gripping my arms as if to steady me. I sure as hell needed it. After a moment, he smoothed his palms down my upper arms, then stepped away.

He didn’t say anything at first.

Neither did I.

What was there to say?

The physical attraction hadn’t faded, but that was obvious.

And physical attraction was…easy.

I couldn’t say I minded that he’d kissed me, but it hadn’t solved anything, and I knew it.

“I probably shouldn’t have–”

“Why did you–”

We both started to talk at once, then stopped at the same time. Feeling awkward, I gestured for him to continue. Had I really been about to ask him why he kissed me? How old was I? Fifteen?

“That doesn’t mean things are…” He hissed out a breath and spun away, shoving a hand through his hair. He paced away a few steps, then turned back to glare at me like it was my fault he’d kissed me. “Things aren’t normal between us, Suria. They can’t be. I don’t know what to think about any of this. I don’t know what I should think. I’m still pissed off. I’m confused. And I’m…fuck, did I mention I’m pissed off?”

How do you think I feel? But I kept the question behind my lips.

“I get that,” I said quietly. A car meandered by, slowing down, and I had the feeling we were getting the side eye, standing out on the sidewalk so late at night. “I…Kian, I’m sorry. I want you to know that.”

“Sorry doesn’t change what you did,” he told me.

“You think I don’t…” I snapped my jaw shut as I heard how high my voice was getting. Sighing, I skimmed a hand back through my hair. “Look, do you want to go somewhere to talk? Is there anything…do you want to talk?”

He stared at me for the longest time, then turned around and headed toward his car. I wasn’t certain if he meant for me to follow until he reached the passenger door and opened it. Maybe it was stupid to get in the car with him after confessing like I had.

But it was just as stupid to go back to my father’s house.

It was just as stupid to confess to him.

I was doing all sorts of stupid things and spending a little more time with him didn’t seem to be the stupidest thing I could do.

Maybe, if I was lucky, we could talk a little more, and he’d at least understand that I hadn’t done any of this out of malice.

Maybe, if I was lucky, he could learn not to hate me.