AMY

It’s going to be another hot day.

Even though it’s early, my room already feels like an oven. There are no windows, because safety must be key. No one can know I’m hiding inside here. And because it’s the apocalypse, there’s no air conditioning, no ceiling fan, no nothing. I have a paper fan that Claudia brought me, and I pick it up and wave it over my face in the darkness, creating a breeze. I can light some candles or maybe use one of my lanterns, but that gives off heat, too, and sometimes it’s cooler to just sit here in the darkness and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

What I’m waiting for, I don’t exactly know. A change in this life. A rescue.

A prince on horseback.

Silliness, I know. But when your life is as stagnant as mine, you indulge in the fantasy, because the fantasy’s all that you’ve got. I remember all the fairy tale movies from when I was a child. They all involved a plucky, singing heroine who fought through troublesome times to get her man. Maybe that’s my problem. I can’t really sing.

Well, that, and I’m not very plucky.

And I can’t fight at all with my bad leg. So I’m zero for three in regard to being princess material. Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to rule over a kingdom. I’m not very social and the thought of balls and soirees—if they even exist anymore—seems a little hellish. But I’d love to have a prince. I close my eyes in the darkness, fan myself, and dream.

My ideal prince would be tall. Dark haired with gorgeous blue eyes that pierce the soul. He’d be strong enough to carry me wherever I need to go, since my bad leg doesn’t allow me to do much for long. And he’d be gentle. So, so gentle. He’d pick me flowers and read me poetry and we’d spend endless days in the shade of a tree on a blanket, gazing up at fluffy clouds while holding hands. He’d beg me for a kiss and I’d be shy, but of course I’d comply. I touch my lips, just thinking about such things.

My prince would be sweet, and kind, and adoring…and I’d never be lonely again. He’d hold me close and brush my hair back from my face and then whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I’m the most incredible woman he’s ever met. He wants to write me songs and—

There’s a hard knock on the door to my room. “Amy? You up?”

It’s my sister. “I’m awake.” I don’t get up from the bed, just keep fanning myself.

Claudia opens the door a crack. Not too much, because my scent is dangerous. “Morning, sleepyhead.” She gives me an affectionate smile. “We’ve got a couple of cool hours before it gets too hot. Want to come up and have breakfast?”

I feel a stab of resentment for my sister, with her bright red, curling hair that’s so clean and fresh and not plastered to her face with sweat. She’s lightly freckled from spending her days in the sun, and her hand rests on the pregnant bulge of her belly. She’s so happy and I’m so…not.

Of course, then I feel guilty. Claudia’s doing the best she can. It’s not her fault I’m miserable. I sit up in bed and give her a happy smile I hope looks sincere. “Sure.”

“Great. I’ll put on some coffee. See you in a bit.” She closes the door again and then I’m alone in the dark.

I get to my feet. Since I’m leaving my hot prison cell, there are things I have to do before I can get out into the fresh air. I light a candle with the Zippo lighter at the side of my bed, and then take the candle into the bathroom adjoining my bedroom. Well, it’s not really a bedroom. This building used to be an office of sorts, but in the After, people live wherever it’s safest. Our old home used to be a broken-down schoolbus in a parking lot back in Fort Dallas, so this is an improvement. Sort of. At least back in the schoolbus I could crack a window and get a hint of a breeze. My room isn’t pleasant, temperature-wise, so I’ve done my best to decorate it with as many pretty things as I can. Colorful scarves and curtains drape every inch of the walls and hang above from the tall ceiling like banners. Claudia brought me magazines and posters from bookstores, and I’ve papered the walls with pictures of wonderful things—old movie advertisements, pictures of castles, anything and everything that caught my eye. My furniture is delicate and pretty, also thanks to Claudia and her dragon mate, Kael. My bed is a soft, fluffy cloud like nothing I’ve experienced in the past.

Really, they’ve been so good to me. It’s not their fault I’m miserable.

I head into the bathroom and set my candle down on the counter. First, I wash up. Sweat is a strong smell, and since dragons have keen senses, I have to try and remove as much of it as possible. I strip off my dress and out of my panties, and then use a washcloth, soap and water to give myself a quick bath. I have to scrub every part of my body that might carry scent—under the arms, behind the knees, the neck, and between the thighs. Once that’s done, I towel dry, apply liberal amounts of deodorant, and then begin perfuming.

I hate the perfume the most. Just the smell of it is enough to make me gag and choke, but I have to, or else I can’t go out at all. It’s something to be endured, just like the heat. I close my eyes, hold my breath, and then begin spraying. A light mist all over the body, and then heavy doses at my pulse points, with the biggest sprays between my thighs. I get fresh panties from a drawer I keep here in the bathroom, and dose them with perfume before putting them on as well. Then, coughing, I step out and quickly dress before I start to sweat again.

When I’m clothed, I slip on a pair of sandals and head out, finally able to face the bright, warm sunshine of the day. Like Claudia said, it’s early, but compared to the dark cave of my room, it’s gorgeous. I can hear distant birds, and the breeze ruffles my hair. I live for these moments, when I feel like I’m free and not just trapped in a coffin. We’re up high, at the top of a destroyed skyscraper in the middle of Old Dallas. Because my sister’s mated to a dragon, we live on the top floors, because he likes to come and go easily. I imagine it’s a lot like birds and their nests—they don’t want to be on the ground like people. The building’s not whole, though. Most of the windows have been shattered and one end of the building has completely collapsed and fallen open. This doesn’t bother my sister or her dragon, though. They have patio furniture and wood-burning grills set up in the open area, like it’s just a big outdoor living space. This is where my sister keeps her “kitchen,” and I limp toward the edge of the building, because I like to look out at the open spaces.

“Don’t get too close,” Claudia warns me as she feeds another wood log to her firepit.

I ignore her, because she’s always telling me that as if I’m a child. As if I don’t do this every time I come out. I move to the edge of the building, where the wall has fallen away and has left nothing but empty, open space hundreds of feet up. I clutch at the mortarwork and lean forward, letting the stiff breeze whip my long blonde hair around my face.

Up here, you can see forever.

I sigh and rest my chin on my hand as I gaze down at the ruins of the city below. Up here, it’s almost pretty. I remember being young and riding in the back seat of the car as my parents drove through downtown traffic. I remember the streets were nothing but bumper-to-bumper cars, gray buildings, signs and billboards and so many clustered buildings that it could never be called pretty. It’s all different now. There are still a lot of buildings, seven years After the Rift, but the wildlife is reclaiming a lot of the world. Even with dragonfire burning the world on a regular basis, there’s still so much greenery. The half-crumbled buildings are covered in vines, and the streets are veined with green grass that’s grown up in the cracks of the asphalt. Trees have sprung up everywhere possible, and when I look across the way, there’s a cluster of new saplings that have sprung up atop a broken overpass. Deer bounce back and forth between overgrown bushes. The tall buildings of Old Dallas still stick up from the ruins, but it’s becoming a wilder, prettier place. The only sounds are those of birds singing and the wind whipping around us. I gaze out at the green and gray of Old Dallas, and off in the distance, like a big ugly stain, is Fort Dallas. It’s the last “safe” place for humanity in this area, and they’ve all clustered together in one small area that’s surrounded by a metal-fused barricade made from old cars. Behind that barrier, I know what it’s like. It smells and there are people underfoot no matter where you turn. It’s dirty and run by soldiers and there’s never enough to eat.

It wasn’t better than here. But at least there, I had some freedom. Here, in what passes for luxury in the After, I have none.

Of course, the thought makes me sad, and I turn away, limping over to the patio table and sitting down carefully, extending my bad leg out in front of me.

“How’s the leg feel this morning?” Claudia asks as she cracks an egg in a skillet. I’m not sure how she got eggs, but she and Kael always seem to be able to find a fresh supply of food. It’s such a difference from when we were starving back in Fort Dallas.

“My leg’s not too bad,” I lie, because I don’t want her to worry. Even if I told her it ached, she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Of course, knowing Claudia, she’d probably want to go see if she and Kael could raid an old pharmacy for some aspirin, anything to help me out. My sister’s as giving as she is brave. But nothing’s going to help my leg. It mended badly and nothing’s going to ever make it feel a hundred percent. I’ve learned to accept that. “There’s a lot of smoke over Fort Dallas today,” I comment to change the subject. “Something going on?”

“Dragon attack,” she comments, as easily as if she’d say it’s been raining. We’re safe here, because her dragon’s always nearby. “Big gold, I think. I didn’t see it, but Kael did. Reds are due later today.” She turns and gives me an apologetic grimace even as she slides the eggs onto a plate and brings it over to me.

I keep smiling, even though I feel like screaming. Reds attack for several days in a row, and if there are dragons in the area, that means I have to hide down in my room, despite the perfume bath I just took. Between that and the sweaty heat, it’s too dangerous for me to stay up top. Dragons have an acute sense of smell, kind of like sharks. They can pick out a lone scent on the wind from miles away. The only reason everyone in Fort Dallas is safe, Claudia tells me, is that the stink of all of them piled together overwhelms dragon senses. That’s also why the fort gets dive-bombed by crazed dragons every time they’re in the area.

And red dragons attack for days in a row, which means I’m going to have to hide downstairs for days and days on end. I close my eyes and tell myself it doesn’t matter. “It’s fine. I’ll read something.”

Claudia tosses an egg onto her plate and sits down across from me. “I feel bad.”

“Oh, please don’t,” I tell her, and I mean it. “It’s just how things are. It’s not like you can help it. I’m safer here with you guys than in Fort Dallas.”

Miserable, well fed, and safe is still better than miserable, starving and in danger, after all.

She takes a forkful of eggs and nods. “I know, but I feel bad for you. I wish the perfume trick worked as well as it does on Emma. I don’t know why it doesn’t.”

“I just don’t have the right chemical make-up, I guess.” I shrug like it doesn’t matter, but it’s kind of heartbreaking. The perfume only works for me to a certain extent. My natural scent—which sounds embarrassing—quickly overpowers it and then I’m tossing pheromones into the air for every unmated dragon to come after. Since I’m unmated, I’m a danger to everyone I’m around, because it’s going to call all the male dragons to me. It’s why I have to hide in my room, away from any kinds of breezes.

I’m not allowed to go out in the open. I’m to be perfumed at all times. And I’m not allowed to masturbate, because the scent carries. It’s embarrassing to think about, but I remind myself that I’m safe here, and I’m with my sister, who loves me.

“It’s fine,” I say again, and eat a big mouthful of eggs. “This is really good this morning. Fresh eggs?”

Claudia nods, her expression thoughtful. “I can come and stay down with you, you know.”

“Don’t be silly,” I tell her, my tone gentle. “You’re pregnant. The last thing you need to do is sit in the dark and bake all day.” She looks unhappy at my words, toying with her breakfast, and I poke her gently with my fork. “Don’t worry over me. I’ve got that new book you gave me last week, and maybe I’ll fill up the kiddie pool and just soak for a while.” It’s set up in the bathroom so I can easily fill it up, and it does help when the day gets extra hot. It’s not great, but it’s better than nothing.

My sister brightens. “I got you one of those adult coloring book things. Found it at the bookstore. Markers, too. They’re dried out, but if you wet the tips I bet you can get some ink out of them.”

“You’re so thoughtful. Thank you.” I beam at her, because she really is trying.

Claudia smiles back, torn. “I really don’t mind, you know. I—” She pauses and the look on her face goes distant, as if she’s hearing a private conversation.

I know what’s happening—she’s talking to Kael, her dragon. Claudia told me they have a mental link that was created when they bonded, and it’s just another reason I’m envious of her. To have a mental link with the person you love? To never be further away than a thought? It sounds like heaven.

I finish the last bite of my food as I wait for my sister to finish her silent conversation. Claudia chuckles and shakes her head a few moments later, glancing over at me. “I’m sorry, what were we talking about?”

“Nothing important,” I promise, and it’s the truth. I know how any argument would go. She’d try her best to make me feel comfortable, but then I’d feel guilty and eventually I’d push her outside. She’s pregnant, after all. She needs to be out in the open air and taking in sunshine. All of that dark and heat can’t be good for anyone, even me.

A large shadow passes overhead in the sky, and my sister’s cheeks turn a rosy pink. There’s an excited flush on her face, and I suspect it’s from the private conversation she was having. She jumps to her feet, grabbing my plate before I can get rid of it. “Kael’s back.”

I nod and clasp my hands in my lap, sipping my coffee. It’s warm out and I don’t want anything hot to drink, but at the same time, coffee’s a luxury and it’s not to be wasted. Who knows when this will be my last? So I savor it despite the weather.

With a low rumble, almost like an oncoming storm, the dragon descends, and his wings flap like sails as he pulls them back against his body, tucking them close. He perches on the lip of the crumbling wall, gazing down at us with golden, whirling eyes. He’s all fearsome scales and claws, wings and tail, and bigger than just about anything I’ve ever seen. Maybe whale-sized, but everything in a zoo or aquarium’s long dead or escaped. His head’s the size of a small car and he looks so fierce and reptilian as he lifts a clawed foreleg and picks at long, fanged teeth that I wonder how Kael and my sister ever fell in love.

I glance over at my sister, and she’s in his shadow, gazing up at him, her arms crossed over the slight bulge of her pregnant belly. She’s got a look of pure adoration on her face, and it makes my heart squeeze to see her so very happy. I admit it, I’m jealous. How can I not be in the face of such joy? She’s pregnant and safe with a mate that loves her beyond anything.

And I…have a coloring book.

They’re utterly silent, conversing back and forth in a way I can’t hear. My sister tells me that Kael has the ability to speak English, but the only thing I’ve ever heard him utter is her name. A breath later, and then Kael’s in his human form, leaping down from the wall to the ground in front of Claudia.

I avert my eyes, because he’s naked, and since he’s technically my brother-in-law, I don’t really want to see all his bits and pieces. My sister whips out a towel and offers it to him, and he wraps it around his hips. Even like this, he’s stunningly handsome. There’s a hint of wildness to his demeanor as he moves to my sister’s side and caresses her cheek with claw-tipped fingers. His skin looks like golden scales, even though Claudia assures me it’s skin. He otherwise looks like a muscular, well-built humanoid man with a mass of thick golden hair and a crown of short, spiky horns at his temples. But when he looks over at me and his mouth pulls down a little in displeasure, his eyes flashing with a hint of black, he looks less human and more like a wild beast that just happens to have human form.

“Kael says he can smell you on the breeze today, Amy. I’m so sorry.” Claudia bites her lip. “He says it’s not safe to be up here.” She looks torn between her mate and me, glancing back and forth between us. “Maybe we can try some new perfumes.”

I know Kael deliberately leaves when I’m around because the perfumes hurt his nose. My poor sister. She’s trying to make all of us happy. “It’s fine,” I tell her brightly. “I’ll just go read my book. Please tell Kael thank you for me.”

She looks over at her dragon-man, silent, and then he nods slowly at me. I smile at both of them and gesture back toward my quarters. “I’ll head back. Thank you for breakfast, sis.”

“Of course. I’ll bring you lunch later,” she promises. “I’m experimenting with making bread and hopefully we can have sandwiches.” Her hand strokes over her belly again, her smile apologetic.

I give her an even bigger smile to let her know that I don’t blame her, and turn to head back to my room. My hated, hated room. I shuffle in that direction, trying not to make my steps too slow or else Claudia will worry. I open the door to my rooms, and the stale, hot darkness awaits me. I glance back at my sister before heading inside, and I see Kael is leaning over her, caressing her hair and nuzzling the side of her face. Claudia’s eyes are closed in what can only be described as sheer bliss, and one of his big hands is on her belly.

And that’s why she’s so happy. It’s not that he’s wild and dangerous. It’s not that he’s the baddest predator on the block. It’s that he’s so utterly devoted and in love with her. She’s the center of his universe. He’d do anything for Claudia, and the sun rises and sets in her eyes when it comes to him. And that’s what makes me so envious and lonely all at once.

I shut the door behind me and close myself into the stifling heat. I light a candle so it’s not completely dark, and I’ve got a book to read—Outlander. It’s very thick and the story’s intriguing…but I can’t concentrate on it. My mind is in other places today.

I did a very, very bad thing a few days ago.

I wait, though. I don’t want my sister coming in to my room. When I hear her laughter become throaty and distant, I move to the door to my rooms and listen. I can’t hear anything, which means they’ve probably retreated to their bedroom. They’ll probably be in there a while. I try not to think about that too much, and I throw the bolt on my door. If anyone asks, I’ll say I was sleeping naked.

That done, I head over to the far side of the room, where my stepladder is, and tug it to one corner. I noticed when I was decorating with scarves that the air ducts in this room were large enough to squeeze a person, and one day, when I was bored and restless and so miserable I could scream, I climbed into one to see where it led. I pull back the scarves and pry it open again today, then climb inside. My knee throbs a protest, but I ignore it. If I stopped every time my knee hurt, I’d never leave my bed. I clamber inside and wriggle my way forward, trying to keep the weight of my body off of my bad leg. The ductwork immediately turns and then goes around the outer wall of the building, and the next drop-off is several rooms over, in one of the old offices.

That’s where I’m heading. The grate’s missing there, because I took it off months ago. Claudia didn’t notice, because she never goes in this direction. She sticks to her small corner of the building itself. The rest of the building’s wrecked and useless, but this place has something I want.

It’s got a window.

I slide out of the duct and into the room. The floor creaks and feels a little mushy in certain spots, so I’m careful as I balance my weight, moving forward. There’s a sprawl of broken, upended desks in this old office, a couple of computers, and what looks like the remains of a copier. Useless junk in the After. No one’s got an office, no one’s doing paperwork, and no one’s computing. I move past them and head for the window.

It’s dusty and covered in grime and ash, but I can see out. And from here, I can see for miles and miles. There’s no breeze and it’s just as stifling in this room as it is in mine, but the view is breathtaking. I sit heavily in a chair with a few rollers missing and just admire the view.

And I think about the bad thing I did…

When we were helping my sister’s friend Emma and her dragon Zohr, they used me as a scent decoy to flush out Zohr’s enemy, an evil dragon-man named Azar. I don’t know all the details—Claudia keeps a lot of things from me to keep me safe. But it was one of the few chances I had to get out of my room and into the open. And…I dropped my panties into the bushes when no one was looking.

Panties are perfect, really, even if the thought of someone finding them makes me blush. They’re the garment that, ahem, gets the most of my scent, and they’re small and easy to hide. With my scent…another dragon can find me. An unmated one.

Then he can come and rescue me, like Rapunzel set free from her tower. He can love me like my sister’s mate loves her, and I’ll be safe and cherished. I’ll never have to spend another long day in this sweltering box of a room, wondering if I’m safe. I’ll have the same thing my sister has.

Here I am. Come and find me, I send out to the world, my hand resting on the window. If wishing and hoping could carry thoughts out into the world, mine would be a speeding bullet with all of the need I pour into them.

Surely there’s someone out there for me, a dragon just as lonely and in need of someone to love as I am.