ANDI

By sundown the next night, Benny still hasn’t returned, and when I go back to Amy to point this out, Liam’s at my side again. Amy’s filthy and exhausted from a day of hauling supplies, and she admits to me that they didn’t get nearly as much as they could have. There’s more to retrieve, which means another day of delays.

That’s fine. It doesn’t mean I’m going to stick around, though. “I’m not waiting any longer,” I tell her, my voice as gentle as I can make it. It’s not her fault my little brother’s a shit. “Benny’s my brother. I know you guys are busy, so I’m going to go after him and hopefully I can find him before he gets into trouble.”

“Oh, Andi,” Amy says, shaking her head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“I would feel horribly guilty if everyone starved because we were going out looking for Benny instead of getting supplies,” I tell her. “It’s fine. Timing’s important and I know this area. I can go after him. I’ve got weapons and I know how to take care of myself. If it’s all right, I’ll take a little bit of food with me and be out the door tonight—”

“And I will be with you,” Liam adds in smoothly.

I’m startled to hear Liam’s voice. I’d nearly forgotten he’s in the room with us, he was so quiet as I argued with Amy. Of course, that’s part of his survival tactic, isn’t it? To be so unobtrusive that others forget that he’s there? His face is neutral, but he steps forward and puts a firm hand at the small of my back again, as if it’s all settled.

“So you’ll go together?” Amy asks, clearly relieved.

That “together” word makes me panic. I think of last night on the roof and how confused it left me. It’s probably better if Liam stays here so I can sort my thoughts about him. “No. I’m going by myself.” I turn and glare at Liam, who just gives me that lazy grin as if to laugh at my ferocity.

Amy speaks again. “I’d rather you go with someone, Andi.”

“And you need me,” Liam says.

This time I give him a full-bore scowl. “Why do you think I need you? I’m hunting down a fourteen-year-old.”

“Because he’s good at fooling you,” Liam says bluntly. “You think he won’t know you’re coming after him? He’ll try to hide from you, and he’ll succeed because he’s small and sly and you’re desperate to have him back.”

I hate that word, desperate. I also hate it because it feels far too close to how I feel. “So I’ll see if one of the other girls wants to go with me—”

Liam shakes his head and the hand on the small of my back feels firmer, more possessive. “I can scent him, Andrea. I can follow him better than anyone else at this fort except for Rast.”

“He’s got a point—” Amy begins.

“And I can protect you.” Liam’s eyes are whirling darker, the gold in them almost turning to rust with all the shadows seeping in. “From dragons, and from other males that might find you alone.”

“Men,” I correct absently, and I shake my head. “You said you can’t switch forms and your mental speech is cut off. How can you protect me from dragons?”

“Because I still think like them,” he says. “Are you done with excuses, or do you want to find your brother?” His gaze is piercing.

I hate that he sees through me so easily. I want to find Benny, but I know if I leave this fort with just Liam, the gossip is going to go wild. But…I don’t have any other choice. “I’m leaving in fifteen minutes,” I tell him bluntly. “You’d better be fucking ready.”

And Liam smiles, all slow pleasure, and I feel both pleased and desperate at the same time.

This is going to be trouble, I know it…but what can I do?

LIAM

I watch as Andrea storms out of the room, her rounded backside bouncing with the force of her boots stomping as she leaves. Her frustration is adorably amusing, as if she can somehow show her anger with enough noise that I will somehow change my mind.

The poor human doesn’t know me very well then, because when it comes to her? I’m not changing my mind. And I’m not going to let her wander into danger alone, not when I can protect her and keep her safe. It’s true that I can’t do much against a drakoni in full battle form, not when I’m in my two-legged form…but it’s not the drakoni I’m worried about if she strikes out on her own. There’s far too many unscrupulous humans outside of the safety of the forts, and Andrea is young and lovely and sometimes far too trusting.

So no, I won’t let her go alone. Even if she refused to let me accompany her, I’d still find a way to follow behind, keep her safe. I’d stick to the shadows and trail her just so she’d have someone at her back. This may be her world, but I’ve had a lot more experience moving from human settlement to human settlement. I know what it’s like out there. For all that Andrea is capable and strong, she’s only been in two forts.

She doesn’t know how desperate some of the nomads out there can get.

I don’t understand why she doesn’t want my help, though. She took it yesterday and seemed grateful. But now the thought of traveling with me bothers her? I can’t figure her out.

I glance over at Amy and Rast. “Is there something else going on that I’m not aware of?”

“With Andi?” Amy’s eyes go wide. “Not that I’m aware of. Why?”

I shake my head, my hands on my hips. “It’s nothing.” Perhaps her brother’s disappearance is making her mood veer wildly, from anger to frustration to tears and then back to anger again. Who knows. “She just seems strange lately.”

“There have been a lot of changes here,” Amy admits, her fingers moving to Rast’s arm, and then she links her hands in the crook of his elbow, leaning against him. “Not everyone likes change. She’s had a lot shift around in the last few months. With Gwen leaving…maybe she feels Benny’s all that she has left.”

She has me, I want to say, but I don’t. I can’t claim her. Not as I am. “That must be it.” I give them a casual smile, no teeth showing, like I would to any other human to put them at ease. “Guess I’d better pack since she wants to leave right away.”

“If you need something, speak up and we’ll give it to you. Weapons? Food?”

I shake my head. “I have weapons and I won’t take food from the fort. Andrea has supplies for herself and I can find enough to eat on scent alone.”

She tilts her head and is quiet, then glances over at Rast and nods. “Of course. Keep her safe for us, Liam. And if things get too dangerous or too awful, you can always reach out to Rast…” Amy lets the words trail off, because we both know that situation would be life or death. I can’t reach out to Rast, not mentally. I cut that part of my life out as self-preservation the moment I realized what was happening to my people on this side of the Rift. For me to activate that part of my spirit again, I’d have to shift to battle form, to reclaim my drakoni side. And if I do, I will go mad.

But if things get too bad and Andrea is in danger…I nod and murmur a human-sounding goodbye, and then head for my quarters. They’re not truly my quarters, of course. It’s the room that all the “visitors” to the fort stay in. There just haven’t been any visitors other than me recently except for Amy and Rast, and they’ve already been accepted into the fold here. I’m still an outsider. No one will miss me if I don’t come back with Andrea.

I wonder if she’ll miss me? I like to think so. I think of how when she was upset earlier and her eyes made the water called “tears” that she turned to me and held onto me. It fills me with pleasure, and I hold onto that thought as I go to my room and pack up my belongings. I don’t have much. I don’t need much, truly. A change of clothing, another pair of boots, a handful of weapons, and a plastic waterskin for traveling. Everything else I can get from the land. Even in my two-legged form, I’m fast enough to catch small game…well, provided I strip off all of these ridiculous human trappings. Maybe Andrea won’t mind if I do so away from the fort.

I like the thought.

I sling my bag over my shoulder, make my bed, and then close the door to the room behind me. I step into the hall and close my eyes, sifting through the scents in the fort. They’re heavy and thick with the varying smells of humans and their trappings, along with the scents of the cookfires, the nearby plants, and various foodstuffs. One of the most overwhelming things about humans is their scent, and how they seem oblivious to the fact that so many different smells clash together. Their sense of smell isn’t as keen as a drakoni’s and as a result, they tend to add more scents to all of their things. They add flower scents to their clothing when they clean them, or spray themselves with new scents to cover the musk of their bodies. They put things in their hair and on their skin—they even add scents to the candles. It all gets overwhelming fast, and I can only imagine how it must feel to Rast. A drakoni uses two senses more than anything else—smell and spirit-sense—and they often combine together, letting emotions tinge people’s natural scents. The stink of humanity and their thoughts pressing in? No wonder my people are insane.

But as I filter through the scents, I find Andrea’s amidst all the chaos. Her scent is light and musky, carrying a hint of sweat and her natural sweetness. Just breathing her in makes my mouth water and my cock harden, and I open my eyes, following it. As I do, I can’t help but grin. As I follow the teasing notes of her trail, it becomes obvious that Andrea isn’t waiting inside the fort for me—she’s already headed to the gates.

Impatient, bold and determined. What a female.

Grinning to myself, I follow. I pass through the double metal doors and out into the asphalt courtyard. Andrea is there, waiting by the chain-link fence near the gate, an equally small pack on her shoulder, her shotgun tucked under one arm, and a scowl on her face. She looks utterly mutinous and so I grin even wider.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” I tease.

Andrea just narrows her eyes at me. “You ready?”

I nod. Of course I’m ready. For all that humans love to have a lot of possessions, I don’t really need much at all. Even the clothing I took with me was just more of my disguise—I learned that humans expect you to change your clothing every so often and if you don’t, they get suspicious. Their lives would be so much easier without clothing, but they’re also a more fragile people than the drakoni, so the clothing is probably needed.

On me, though, it’s just a damned nuisance.

But I keep a smile on my face just to infuriate Andrea, and gesture that she should lead the way.

With a tight nod, she surges forward, heading for the gates. There’s no time to watch the cocky little shake of her bottom, because I need to move in step with her. I follow behind closely and nod at the two females guarding the gate as we leave. They watch us curiously, and I notice that Andrea doesn’t look at them as we walk past. Her shoulders are stiff, her body speaking of pent-up emotions. Curious, I let her take the lead. This doesn’t feel like anger toward me or worry for her brother. It’s something else and I can’t tell what it is. It bothers me, and I clench a fist at my side because the urge to send a mental feeler out to Andrea is overwhelming.

I cannot. I cannot.

My skin itches with the need to shift, to transform to battle form, to take claw and scale as my own once more.

It will be a death sentence, though. I shudder and compose myself, forcing such thoughts out of my mind. Why am I struggling so greatly with this now? I have been able to keep myself under control for years, but in the space of a few weeks, I find that control slipping. I know why, though. The why walks a few brisk paces ahead of me, her thick blonde braid bouncing on her shoulders, her hips swaying.

Being around her is tearing at my willpower.

And even though I should leave, I jog a few steps closer, just because.

The fort itself is a large building surrounded by long lengths of pavement. Parking lots, Andrea called them. The compound is heavily fenced off, and on the other side of the fence where we now walk, there are more streets and more asphalt, but here the plants are taking over once more. Weeds poke up between cracks, and grasses snake across broken curbs and force the road up in sections, making it uneven walking. Dead leaves and debris from seasons past crunch under our feet, and all around us are smaller empty buildings, half collapsed. Houses, back when humans used to live in individual homes and not a big community one. We head down the street, walking past metal hulks of old cars and destroyed remnants of old human life, and Andrea is silent. I wonder if she plans on being silent this entire way, just to punish me for insisting that I come with her.

But we turn down another street and then the fort is out of sight. The moment it’s gone, Andrea turns to me. Her eyes are full of pain and sadness, and her pink mouth trembles in the shadows of oncoming night. “Can you find his scent, please?”

“Of course,” I murmur, my hands itching with the need to caress her, to touch her, to reassure her that I am here, that we will find him. I do none of these things, though. She confuses me and until I can understand her…well, it does not matter. I can never claim her, no matter how badly I might wish to.

Irritated at my own thoughts, I drop to my knees and study the ground in front of me. I pretend to be looking for signs of Benny’s crossing this way, but the truth is that I don’t need to look at anything. I can smell him all over the place. He smells like sweaty young human, the corn cakes that make up so much of the diet of the fort people…and something else. Something that makes my nose twitch and my eyes water. A scent-disguiser, then. If I were in battle form and half mad with the world around me, I wouldn’t be able to pick him out. As it is, I recognize what he’s doing and applaud him for the cleverness of it.

He doesn’t want to be found, and he knows Andrea will be coming after him.

That concerns me a little. I like Benny as a person—he’s bright and inquisitive, even if he’s a bit wild. He’s young and wants to see the world, and he’s tired of being confined to one space. I know how that is, because I know how I was at his age. But if I have to choose between his happiness and Andrea’s? I’m picking hers. No question.

I don’t want her to know the lengths her brother has gone to hide his trail, though. “He went this way,” I say, straightening.

“He did?” There’s a fragile wobble in her voice that guts me.

“He did. Let’s go.” When I put a hand on her back, she doesn’t pull away like she did back at the fort. Interesting.

We walk, moving up the abandoned streets and past the rows of empty, abandoned houses.