Andy
I knew I was pushing Jake. I knew I shouldn’t, not about this. But I couldn’t stop myself. There was that maddening, itchy feeling inside me, urging me on. At times like this, it felt like the inside of my head was going a thousand miles per hour, and if I didn’t make my body move, accelerate, drive forward to match pace, my psyche would break away from my corporeal being, and I’d become completely unglued.
I was an explosion primed to go off, and I had to relieve the pressure.
It didn’t take a Freudian analyst to detect the reason for my current anxiety—it was down to my dad’s call. I was utterly torn at the idea of leaving the cottage in two weeks. Speaking to him had been like a dash of ice water in the face—his no-nonsense voice, his iteration of all the practical details, everything that needed to get done before I started Harvard. He’d been so black-and-white about how it was time to get on with my life, like he grudged me this summer at the cottage, like he’d done me a huge favor by agreeing to it. Like there had been any other option.
There was a massive disconnect between all of that and the way I felt anchored here, in this cottage on the sound with Jake. The thought of being torn away from it ached like I had stinging ants crawling inside me. It was inevitable, as unstoppable as time itself.
“Come on, Jake,” I urged. “Let’s fuck. Right now. You can do me or I can do you, I don’t really care, but I want it.” I need it. Jake’s back was against the door, his hands flat on the wood, like he was a cornered rabbit. His face was conflicted. It would have been funny at another time, but now I just needed him so badly to agree, to want this too. I didn’t understand why he was resisting. He said he’d liked it with Kevin, and I knew damned well Jake and I had great sexual chemistry. These past few weeks had been ridiculous trying to pretend we didn’t want to go to bed together. He had to feel that too.
I closed the last bit of space between us, leaning my chest into his, and then my hips. He turned his jaw away from me, being a stubborn ass, but I reached up and turned it gently back. I kissed him, soft for a second, then dirty, wiping the flat of my tongue against his lips, pulling back when he tried to chase it. I did it again, tempting him.
He groaned. “God, I hate you.” He hooked his arm around my neck so he could hold me still. He kissed me hard, almost brutally, not letting me tease.
I grabbed his hips and ground against him. I was already hard, thrumming with desperation-fueled desire and, if Jake was conflicted, his body was not. His hips arched against me, his prick like a stone. He spread his thighs, letting me sink deeper between them.
I broke away from his mouth long enough to say, “You want me to fuck you? Or—”
“Yeah.” Jake went after my neck with his hot, greedy mouth. One hand stroked down to my ass to pull me harder against him in case I had any misconception about what he meant.
But I wanted more. “Say it. Tell me, Jake.”
He tensed and grabbed my face in both of his hands. His brown eyes bored into mine. “I want you to fuck me, Andy.”
“Because you’re turned on?” I demanded, still pushing for the brass ring. Goddamn it.
“No, because I fucking want you,” he grit out, almost angrily. “I always—” He stopped himself, swallowed. “I want to do this with you.”
I felt a surge of elation. “Okay. Great. So let’s do it.”
I stepped back, grabbed one of his wrists, and pulled him along behind me. In my bedroom I had some lube I used for wanking, and there were two condoms in my wallet. I always carried a couple, but right now I wished I had a whole box. If I had my way, we wouldn’t be coming up for air until August eighteenth.
We both stripped fast, sweaty T-shirts and shorts flying. It had been a hot day, and we were both grungy from the run. We could shower, but no way was I waiting for that. In fact, an extra twist of desire coiled in my gut as I looked at him. I wanted him like this—smelling strongly of sun and of Jake. Christ. I’d had no idea I had a sweat kink.
I grabbed my wallet from the dresser and tossed the two condom packets on the bed. Jake had the bottle of lube from the bedside table. We looked at each other, standing next to the bed, both naked and crazy hard.
“How do you want it?” Jake asked, his voice rough. He was trembling just a little. I’d never wanted anyone more in my life.
Fast and hard. That was how I wanted it. At least this first time.
“Get on all fours on the bed,” I said, my tone more demanding than I’d intended.
Jake hesitated. “You have to prep me first.”
I rolled my eyes. “No shit. I do know how to Google.”
Jake’s intensity faded as he grinned. “I would have loved to hear Siri’s response to that question.”
“Christ, Jake, get on your knees!” I grabbed the bottle of lube out of his hand. My hands were shaking too, like some pathetic virgin. And as much as I loved smart-ass Jake, I didn’t want to see him right now. I wanted sexy Jake, panting and spread out in front of me like a buffet.
He got on his hands and knees on the bed and then went further, lowering onto his elbows and putting his head in his hands as if in surrender. I had to stop after popping the cap on the lube and just stare for a second. Damn, what a picture he made with his ass up high, his thighs spread. His shoulders looked so broad like that, his back muscled and his ass round and tight. I could see his balls hanging down and the brown furl of his hole. It was pornographic. And hot.
And, God, how much trust was he showing to open himself up for me like that?
“Move,” Jake muttered, breaking me out of my stare.
Hell, yeah. I squeezed lube onto my fingers and moved close to him. I held him by the hip with one hand and with two fingers of the other, spread the lube up and down his entire crack, squeezing his balls and making them slippery, rubbing my thumb over his hole.
He made a noise, and his shoulders sank further into the bed.
Despite my earlier claim, I was nervous. I knew what to do technically, but I’d never done anal with a girl, and I didn’t want to blow it and have to stop. I worked my thumb around, adding another shot of lube, until it could sink into him easily. He gasped and wiggled his hips, but it didn’t appear to hurt. I pumped my thumb in and out of him for a while till it moved easily. Then I went to two fingers.
“Is this okay?” I asked him as he began to work himself back onto my hand, getting greedy.
“Yeah. Just do it now. I want your dick.”
Those words coming out of his mouth were so wrong and so unexpected. They sent a thrill through my body. “You sure?” He still felt tight.
“Yeah. Come on, Andy. Don’t be shy now.”
It might have been a joke, except his voice was too wrecked. I ripped open the condom packet. My fingers felt weirdly numb, probably because all the blood in my body was in my penis.
I put more lube on the condom, then lined up, holding Jake’s hip with one hand. “Wish I could kiss you right now,” I said, then cringed at the words. I should be talking dirty like Jake, not all sentimental.
But Jake just looked over his shoulder at me, his eyes wild. “Me too. Later. Just—”
I sank in. The warm heat pulled me deeper like I was sinking into butter. He was soft and tight at the same time, sheathing me in perfect friction. I had to withdraw twice before I was able to thrust all the way inside him, as deep as I could go. He spread his legs more and tilted his hips. The next time I thrust into him, my sac slapped against his, a sensation so new and so shiver-inducing that I gasped a little. I did it again and again. Yet another new kink discovered. That felt amazingly filthy.
Jake moaned, his head buried in his arms. “Christ, don’t stop,” he said, his words muffled. “Don’t stop, Andy. Don’t stop. Don’t—”
I leaned forward, grabbed his shoulders, and began to pound into him, knocking the words right out of his mouth. God, I’d missed this, the sensation of fucking someone, the act of penetration, of sinking into a channel that had no obstacles and no end. Fucking Jake was perfect—seeing my cock vanish between those small, tight cheeks, feeling the muscles of his thighs and the slap of my balls on his, hearing his steady stream of moans, knowing I could ride him hard and he would beg for more, that it would never be too much for him to handle.
He rose up on one arm so he could turn his head and watch. His face was flushed, his lips wet, his eyes dark chocolate. His other hand went to his dick, and he began jerking it in time with my thrusts.
I wondered for a second if I was supposed to do that for him, but he looked so sexy doing it himself, and I was too busy fucking him hard to be bothered to slow down or change position so I could touch him. I was riding a cresting wave that was bound to drop, bound to thrust me up and spill me out like flotsam on the shore. His thighs shook. His eyes lifted and met mine, a dare in them. Now.
We shipwrecked together, shuddering. His channel tightened spasmodically, almost painfully, around me. I felt every one of his pulses and lost track of where mine ended and his began.
When I could move again, I collapsed onto the bed, pulled off the condom, and dropped it carefully next to the bed. Jake flopped to his stomach beside me. It felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I couldn’t stop touching him, even now. The hand closest to him reached out, stroking his skin. He had really soft, supple skin with tiny freckles. It tasted salty-sweet, I knew, and I might be a little bit addicted. He shifted on his belly a few inches so his body was next to mine, touching all the way down. But his face was still turned away and it wasn’t good enough. I rolled onto my side and tugged at him until he was facing me. The look in his eyes was too much, and maybe what was in mine was too much too. He lowered his eyelids as if to avoid the intimacy. I kissed him.
We kissed and kissed, softly, with no urgency except the desire to connect. We pressed together. I felt Jake’s stomach meet mine on each breath. His soft dick lay on my thigh, and I liked it. His fingers traced patterns on my back. My heart hurt.
And, still, I held him.