As she walked, Kayana reminded herself that she should have known better. From the outset, Ax had made it clear that he wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship. In the Nine Names, she had said the same thing. Which led to the real question—when had she started to change her mind? Had it been the sex?

No, she reassured herself. It wasn’t the sex.

Much as it might serve the bastard’s overinflated ego for her to say otherwise. Instead, somewhere between the toe-curling orgasms, she realized that she enjoyed bantering with him. What may have started as frustrated antagonism had grown into adolescent teasing, and finally into something akin to flirting over the last several weeks, and she wasn’t sure she could put a finger on when the transition had occurred.

Not that it mattered, since he had just blown up whatever had been trying to grow.

And she’d let him. After an hour hiking, she’d almost made it back to the clearing where they’d arrived. Ax came over the comms at one point, saying he’d found the stone. As though that made a difference. She tapped the comm unit in her ear. “Algol, transfer me aboard please.” She half-expected the AI to ignore her request, but a heartbeat later her stomach twisted with the nausea-inducing disorientation of the matter transfer beam returning her to the ship.

To Kayana’s surprise, Berniss was waiting in the bay when she arrived. At least she could still find her fury. “I’m not interested in being interviewed.”

“The cameras are off.” She folded herself into a chair with perfectly practiced grace and nodded. “I’ve also told Algol to leave us alone for a bit.”

“We’re not girlfriends, Berniss. I’m not going to tell you about boy trouble while we braid each other’s hair.” Kayana sat in one of the other chairs, and Fluff hopped into her lap. She resisted the urge to bury her face in its fur. Cameras or no, she didn’t want to show any weakness in front of Berniss.

The reporter scoffed. “You know, I’d probably be more fun at that than you expect. It’s been a long time since I had a sleepover. But you’re right. That’s not what we’re going to do at all.” She paused and watched Kayana for a moment, then opened up a nearby locker and tossed her a packet of cricket chips. “You still look nauseous. You should eat something.”

Kayana caught the packet without thinking, and looked at it in her hand. Once the words had processed, she tore open the package and dumped some of the crisp snacks into her mouth. After she swallowed the first mouthful, she sighed. “Thanks. So, what are we going to talk about?”

“Regrets, I suspect.” Berniss took a deep breath. “And family. One of my first assignments was as an embedded journalist, working with a mercenary unit on the fringes.”

“And?” Kayana ate another handful of cricket chips, wondering how rude it would be to get up. Probably very. And it would certainly nullify whatever no-camera truce the camerawoman had implemented.

“And the first officer was Malebranki. Gorgeous, broad, and chiseled like Rygellian bronze.”

The woman blushed, and Kayana had to hide a smile. “Careful, I’d think you were fetishizing.”

“I probably am a bit.” Berniss laughed. “How’s that for objectivity? The thing is, after a few months together, I learned Taygen’s family had been about to welcome him home, but then they found about me.”

Kayana nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too, but not for the reasons you think.” She coughed out a self-deprecating chuckle. “I told him to go, that his family was more important. And he went.”

“You have to understand; the House is everything. The maxims—”

“He went to tell them he could be accepted with me, or they could do without him. That if they didn’t recognize the strength of differing viewpoints, then that was their weakness.”

Kayana hissed in a breath. To say such a thing was blasphemy. Yes, one of the maxims covered the value of multiple opinions, but they meant other Malebranki opinions. Other Malebranki strengths.

“The maxims, he told me, weren’t lessons for the Houses at all. They were lessons for individuals. To make them strong enough to make their own well-informed decisions and alliances.”

Kayana’s fingers raked through Fluff’s fur but couldn’t find comfort. “You’re saying I should forgive Ax.”

Berniss stood and shook her head. “Hardly. I’m saying he’s a fuckup. We all are. Even you. Sometimes we do the right things for the wrong reasons. Just as often, we do the wrong thing, but for the right reasons. She took out a tablet and leaned it against the console. On the screen, Ax’s face was frozen in mid-sentence. A play button was superimposed over his chest. “You didn’t see this from me.”

Berniss left the room, and Kayana picked up the tablet and pushed play. She recognized the scene immediately – the makeshift confessional that had been set up in engineering. Which meant this was raw footage that should have been saved for the show. Berniss might not be risking her job by sharing, but it skirted close to the line.

Ax’s image sprang to recorded life. “I’m willing to do what it takes for her to win. I promised her a ship, and I’ll damn sure see she gets money enough to buy one. Or a fleet. Whatever it takes for her to get back in with her family.”

The loop was short and it jumped back to the beginning and started again. It played through twice more before Kayana shut it off. She checked the time on the recording, knowing what she’d find – that it had been from before the trip to Vantor.

Like Berniss said – sometimes they did the wrong things for the right reasons. And he’d wanted so badly to give her what he thought she wanted that he hadn’t thought twice about turning on people he didn’t know. She sighed. It didn’t absolve him. But it helped her to understand the decision. Head-to-head challenges were about teams trying to undercut each other. Had she done anything less as part of a pirate crew?

She growled in frustration. Fine. She’d go back and talk to him, at least to clear the air between them.

She tapped a communications stud on the console next to her. “Algol, find Ax’s comm unit on the planet and get ready to transmit me back to the surface.”

“I cannot do that.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not against the rules for me to take a break. You can send me back.”

“I cannot send you to Ax’s comm unit on the planet, because it isn’t on the planet.”

A chill traced its way down her back. “What do you mean? Where is he?”

“Currently? His comm unit says that he’s aboard the cutter Price of Mercy and headed to the edge of the system.”

No. Whatever Ax was, they’d done too much together for her to leave him to whatever this Gobnait woman had planned for him. “Algol, move to pursue.”

“I cannot engage with a non-challenge—”

“Do it or I’ll disconnect you and do it myself!” She charged out the door and headed toward the bridge. Whatever happened after could happen after. But it would be both of them making decisions freely. She just had to rescue him first.