Chapter 28

Ana

My mother guides me slowly back into Yuri’s mansion. The walls seem too close to me as I follow her down the well-appointed hallway. I glance around as we walk, my eyes taking in the ridiculous luxury.

At first glance, one might think this place is paradise, but after having spent several weeks confined here, I can say with certainty that it’s nothing more than a gilded cage.

For me, anyway.

My mother opens the door to my room, gesturing for me to walk ahead.

I do as I must, walking back into the room that has become my cell. Truly, this place really does feel like a prison, and I am its only inmate.

“I hate to see you looking so down.” My mother says, pushing the door closed behind us, “You really need to look on the bright side here, Ana. Yuri is a strong man, a good provider.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes at her words. She knows nothing of the man she’s forcing me to marry. Or worse yet, she knows, but doesn’t care.

Either way, I bite my tongue around my retort, knowing it’s pointless to argue.

“It wasn’t so different with your father and I, you know.”

“Yes, mother, I know.”

“When I found out that I was going to be married, I was just as upset as you. Time is a funny thing, though. All these years later, I wouldn’t change a thing. You just wait and see; you may come to love Yuri yet.”

Her words make me feel sick to my stomach.

Love Yuri?

The idea is utterly ridiculous.

I can still feel the ghosts of the bruises that he marked me with, still feel his overly heated breath wash over me as he pulled me roughly against him. I can see his eyes, only a hairsbreadth from mine, shining dementedly in a way that promised suffering with no end.

Yuri is a monster, a killer. Nothing more.

He isn’t even a man to me anymore. He’s nothing but the embodiment of my every terrible nightmare my fears and worries have given form.

“I don’t think so, Mother.” I say quietly, watching as her brow furrows in consternation.

“Well, not with that attitude.” She chides, looking at me as if I’m nothing more than a disobedient child.

I turn away from her, feeling anger flair up within me and trying desperately to keep it in check.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I say quietly, already walking towards the door.

She nods politely, her most charming fake grin pulling at her lips.

“Okay, dear, we’ll talk when you get back.”

More than anything, I wish she’d just leave.

It’s bad enough that I’ve become a prisoner, forced to marry the one person I loathe above all others. I also have to spend hours every day, listening to my mother explain how this is really a blessing.

It’s enough to drive a person mad.

I enter the bathroom, closing the door quickly behind me before crossing to the sink. I lower myself to reach underneath it. Quietly, I run my fingers along the ground, feeling for the box I’ve hidden here.

My hand knocks roughly into something, a small smile pulling at my lips for the first time in what feels like ages.

I’ve waited weeks for this moment, reminding myself every day of the possibility that there may still be something to hope for.

Reverently, I lift the pregnancy test, clinging tightly to it like it’s a lifeline.

In a way, I suppose it is.

Moments later, I find myself staring impatiently at the strip in my hand, my heart hammering as I wait to see the outcome.

My every hope seems to hinge on the moment, my very will to live depending entirely on the results of this small plastic strip.

My mind flashes stubbornly back to the image of Cas’ loft burning, with flames eating hungrily at the large structure. My heart aches within me, the pain still overwhelming in its intensity.

Losing Cas a second time nearly broke me, my soul seeming to fracture in the face of my loss.

I don’t think I’d be here now if it weren’t for the possibility that is now developing in my hand.

To get a chance to carry Cas’ child, to bring a part of him screaming back into the world—I don’t think that the gaping hole in my heart will ever actually be able to heal, but it might be a start.

“Ana, darling,” my mother calls, jarring me from my thoughts. “Hurry please, there’s a waiter here with cake for you to try!”

I sigh in frustration. After everything I’ve been through, does she truly believe that I give a damn about a wedding cake?

“Just a minute!” I answer, looking intensely at the test still clutched in my hand.

Come on, come on!

Three minutes has never passed so slowly as it is now. My heart flutters wildly, anticipation washing over me in waves.

A single line begins to appear in the small box on the strip, and I grab quickly for the directions.

One line means…

I skim the instructions frantically.

Not pregnant.

My heart seems to fall, all of my hope shriveling immediately inside of me.

The possibility of Cas’ child has been the only thing to sustain me these past weeks. As I stare raptly at the test, I feel the remainder of my strength begin to crumble, my eyes tearing rapidly at the revelation.

For a moment, I feel utterly hopeless.

“Ana!” My mother calls again, sounding impatient now.

I open my mouth to answer her, whether I’m going to tell her that I’ll be right there, or to go rot in hell, I couldn’t say.

Thankfully though, my words dissipate in the next moment, my mouth hanging agape as my eyes fall back towards the test strip.

Torturously slow, a second line has begun to develop beside the first, its bright blue coloring pulling my eyes roughly toward it.

Two lines.

Life seems to flood back through me, electricity surging into my veins like a shot of life.

I’m pregnant!

My hand flies quickly to my stomach, pressing softly as I marvel at the implications.

I’m pregnant. With Cas’ child.

My heart soars, relief washing over me in waves.

This is something that no one can take away from me. My baby is already growing inside of me, my and Cas’ baby. A small piece of him, alive and thriving.

I stand quickly, feeling renewed.

“Ana!” My mother calls again.

I smile broadly, even as tears begin to roll down my face.

“Coming, Mother!”

I quickly stash the test back under the sink, knowing better than to use the garbage can. Prisoners don’t have privacy, after all.

Wiping hastily at my tear stained cheeks, I reach for the doorknob, re-entering the room like a brand-new person.

I have a reason to live again, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect it.

“There you are!” My mother says in exasperation. “Are you okay?”

I catch a glimpse of the waiter moving quickly through the doorway.

“Yes, fine, Mother.” I say, trying to hide the joy in my tone.

“Well, good,” she says, switching topics quickly. “You need to decide on a cake.”

She gestures towards the rolling tray at the foot of the bed, several plates of dessert settled neatly atop it.

“Personally,” she picks one, licking the frosting from a fork, “I like the vanilla.”

I groan inwardly as I approach, wishing I were alone to celebrate my news.

Just a few more minutes, and she’ll be out of my hair.

I force a small smile to my face, reaching down towards the various kinds of cake.

“Okay, I’ll try that fir…”

My words cut off abruptly, shock running quickly through my body as my eyes land on the tray.

“What is it?” My mother asks, actually looking concerned for a change.

With a force of will, I feign through my surprise, remaking my expression into something nearer to normal.

“Nothing…” I choke out, “I’ll try the vanilla first.”

I position my body before the tray, using my back to block her view.

Hesitantly, I reach downward, fearfully grabbing the shining object settled neatly on the tray.

Part of me is convinced that my fingers will pass right through it, that it will disappear at any moment.

As my trembling hand reaches it however, I feel the cold metal, the smooth surface slipping easily into my palm.

Cas’ wedding band.

My heart stutters painfully in my chest, my eyes flicking wildly around in search of him.

He’s alive!

Cas is alive!

“Well, go on.” My mother says, nudging playfully at my shoulder. “Try it.”

I close my fingers tightly around the band, squeezing until I feel the metal bite into my palm. I cling madly to it as I reach down for a plate, my mind spinning wildly.

Without tasting it, I begin to sample the cake.

Hope burning like a fire within me.