chapter 1
Noah watched Rafe through the window. His future brother-in-law stood silent sentry over the rest of the clan. Even on the occasion of his beloved sister's wedding, he held himself separate. Not out of reach in case he was needed, but still, not part of the group. An outsider.
Maybe this is a mistake.
No. It wasn’t a mistake. Rafe DeMarco was his brother. Had always been his brother, his teacher. Even if he was different now.
Noah rubbed the back of his neck. He knew it was true. Rafe had seen things, done things. He’d been out in the cold too long. Without friends, without family. Rafe had never come out and expressed anything, but knowing the kind of undercover work he'd done, Noah could imagine how he felt.
He didn't want his brother to be separate from them anymore. It was time to do the right thing. The only real question was how the others would take it. They worked for him, but in essence, Blake Security ran like a family. And likely, each of them would have something to say about his decision.
Also, seeing as Rafe had tried to kill them all, some of them might still be holding grudges.
Luckily, it was just that one time. Okay, it might have been a couple of times. Rafe was sorry though, right?
Maybe not as sorry as he should be.
Noah pushed into the waiting room. Jonas greeted him with a grin. "There he is. We were starting to wonder if you'd executed plan Condor."
Noah frowned. "What the fuck is plan Condor?
Dylan eyed him knowingly. "It's a plan where you take flight like a bird."
Noah rolled his eyes. "Do you have any idea how long I waited to have Lucia? I'm not going anywhere." He frowned. "Though, now I feel like I should have one of you make sure she doesn’t run."
Oskar rolled his eyes. “Well if JJ is planning the escape, they’re already gone.”
Noah frowned. Lucia's best friend JJ was a known troublemaker and had a mouth like a sailor, but even she couldn't convince Lucia to turn runaway bride. Could she?
No dumbass. They're just rattling your cage.
Rafe frowned. "If she doesn’t want to get married, we’re certainly not going to force her."
"Have you met your sister? When was the last time she did anything that she didn't precisely want to do?"
Rafe chuckled. "Yeah, you have a point about that."
“Can I borrow you for a minute, Rafe?” Noah kept his voice low, but the atmosphere in the room changed in a heartbeat.
Rafe gave him a terse nod before saying, “Yeah of course.”
Once Noah had him out of the vestibule and into the courtyard of the church, Rafe was all business. "What's up man?"
“You know what I want to ask you, right?"
Rafe nodded. “I could see you’ve been working up to it. But I’ll tell you the truth, it's a little late for strippers. My sister would kill me."
Noah chuckled. "As if you would let me get strippers."
"Yeah, of course. I mean I would just hire the same crew of jocks that she hired for you last time. That shit would be funny."
"Man, she told you about that?"
Rafe chuckled. "Yep. Now I know what to get you for every birthday for the rest of your life."
"And here I thought we were brothers."
Rafe grinned, and for a second he looked much more like the man who’d trained Noah. The man who’d taught him everything he knew. "That is precisely why I'm getting you strippers every birthday. What are big brothers for?"
Noah laughed. "You know, that's a good point.”
“So what's up Noah? It’s not like you to have cold feet.”
Noah slanted him a look. "You do know me." He rubbed his jaw, unsure what to do with the sudden influx of nerves. "Look, I know you’ve got your own deal with the FBI and your undercover assignments with Interpol. But I think maybe you’ve been doing that too long. Maybe it's time to come back into the fold. Family, friends, and all that."
Rafe had always been hard to read. He was an inscrutable bastard. But Noah pressed on. "Look, it’s probably clear to you I need help. I’ve got more work than I have men for, and I’m spread thin. We’ve taken a lot of hits this past year. Ryan and Dylan are great, but I need someone who can take them to the next level. Matthias is good, but he’s too on edge to be a teacher. I could use someone who actually knows how to train agents. But you know, not for wet work."
Rafe shook his head. "You try to kill a guy one time, and he never lets that shit go."
Noah chuckled. "Well, it was more than one time. Let's face it, you very nearly killed me."
"Well, you actually did kill me." At Noah's wince, Rafe chuckled. "Too soon?"
Noah nodded. "Yeah man, too soon. I'm not used to having you back yet." Noah sighed. This felt good. Like those years between them vanished. Up until now, he hadn’t known what to say. "Seriously though. We always think about it. I —" he cleared his throat. "Not just for Lucia, but for me. I... missed you."
Noah met Rafe’s gaze. He would have sworn he saw a glimmer of hope. Maybe longing.
Rafe rocked back on his heels. "You know, I think I’ve had enough of the FBI. Obviously, I would never go back to ORUS. I never wanted to be in anyway. But that blood on my hands, Noah… it’s not a small thing."
Noah nodded. "I know. But if I can do it, you can. It’s pretty easy actually. The jobs you go on, you’re almost guaranteed to come home from.”
Rafe shrugged. “Sounds boring. Can’t you throw in a starlet or something?”
Noah chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do, man. You might have to wrestle Dylan for starlet duty though.”
"To hear Dylan talk about it, it's like he’d rather face a firing squad.”
"I don't know what he has against pop princesses. I swear that was one of my favorite assignments."
Rafe nodded. "I’ve lost too much time with Lucia and Nonna. Other people, too."
Noah rolled his eyes. "Just say it man, you missed me. Go on, you know you want to."
"Yeah, whatever. You can use some extra training. Next time go for the kill shot."
Noah shook his head. "Fuck man, still too soon."
"Speaking of too soon, how do think the band of misfits in there is gonna take it?"
Noah sighed. “Oh, they’ll follow along. But could you maybe try to refrain from dislocating any shoulders or killing anyone? You know, for a while."
"There you go, ruining all my fun."
It felt good bantering with Rafe. Noah’s heart might burst he was so happy. But he sobered quickly. "About Matthias though."
Rafe’s good-natured attitude melted off his body. "Is he tight? Because he looks like he’s riding that edge."
Noah nodded. "He had it bad before he even got to ORUS, and I don't know, I might not have gotten him out soon enough. That killer instinct is right below the surface, you know?"
"The way he fights, he’s good. A complete natural."
Noah nodded. "Unless absolutely necessary, I’ve benched him from any violent shit. Only time I let him out in the field is for his unique expertise or if I really think some people could get killed. He's a good kid, and he's never had a fair shot."
Rafe nodded. "I'll give him a wide berth for a bit. Give him a chance to settle down and get used to me." He paused for a moment and slid him a glance. “We good?”
Noah nodded. "Yeah. We’re good. You helped me when I was going off the rails, and I’ve never said thank you for that."
Rafe nodded and drew in a deep breath. "And I never said I was sorry."
Noah frowned. "For what?"
"You are my brother. And you're about to be my brother-in-law in just a little under an hour —"
Noah shook his head. "Man, it's not necessary."
"Yes, it is. I feel like I’m in Assassins Anonymous or some shit. But I do need to make amends. I'm sorry for the guilt you had to carry around. If there had been any other way to protect the two of you, I would have taken it."
Shit, were his eyes stinging? "I understand. I just wish —"
Rafe's brows drew up. "Yeah?"
"I just wish we didn't have so much time to make up for."
Rafe nodded and swiped a knuckle under his eye. "Yeah. Me too. So, what do you say we get back to the assholes so you can break the news to them real easy, like a couple of anal virgins."
Noah shook his head. "Way inappropriate man. Seems like you’ll fit right in."