Aleksander sighed deeply and cursed, “Goddamned it.”

Still dizzy after her quick and totally unexpected orgasm, Ava bit her lip. Should I say something?

But what could she say that might ease the sudden discomfort overtaking her, and radiating into the air around them?

Aleksander’s shoulders shifted under her hands, as he slipped out of her, and adjusted her in order to carry her with one arm under her knees, while cradling her with the other by supporting her back. He moved away from the wall, effortlessly making his way to his bed.

He lay her down on the bed, pushing the covers back on his side, scooting her in and climbing in next to her, while covering them both, and his hands moved back to her body bringing her to him.

All in silence.

She had been overheated, but now she was shivering.

“I’m sorry.”

She pulled her head back and made eye contact, when she registered Aleksander was speaking to her, feeling slightly disappointed to hear he was apologizing to her and her mind was reeling, jumbled, and trying to catch up with his apology. “Why?”

“I meant to make it to the bed.” He smiled sheepishly at her and shrugged. “But I…”

“Didn’t.”

“I didn’t. It’s just that with you here, like this. I couldn’t think straight.”

She smiled at that. “Does that happen very often?”

“What?”

“Up against the wall…”

“No.” He chuckled, ran his fingers in her hair, wound a strand around his fingers, feeling the silkiness of it. “Maybe it should though.”

She rolled back and stretched her arms over her head. “We haven’t used the bed yet.”

“Christ!” He bolted, sitting upright on the bed, looking at her. “We didn’t use anything.”

“We didn’t the first time, too,” she said languorously just to smile at his eyes widening. “Relax, I’m on the pill.”

He flopped onto his back, blowing out a stream of air, relieved, and pulled her over him.

“I’m surprised you aren’t more careful,” she said as settled herself more comfortably.

“Usually, I am. Actually, always I am.” He smiled ruefully at her. “But never with you, it seems.”

“So this…isn’t usual?”

“You know that it isn’t.”

His words had the ring of certainty. Then what is this?

He saw the question in her eyes but he did not have an answer for her. So, he just pulled her head down and kissed her, softly, slowly. For now, that was all he had and all he could give her.

When he broke the kiss, he also saw that she accepted what he had to give.

The result was inevitable and he was long beyond fighting it. He wanted her, needed her—and the ache was too new, too fresh, too excruciatingly sensitive to let it go unassuaged. “Sleep with me tonight.”

She smiled mischievously at him. “Only sleep? Only tonight?”

“Do you have any other idea?”

“Right now, right here? I can’t think of a thing.” She winked and smiled at him. “Or maybe…we could go down to a cup of hot chocolate? You don’t look strong enough to lift me right now.”

“Probably not now.” His hands ran down her back. “But later, if you wish…”

“Perhaps.”

“Tell me about your plans. Your clinic.”

“It’s on the slate.”

“I could back you.”

She inched back, just a little, to have a better look of his face. “I like backing myself.”

His brows raised. “No investors allowed?”

“It’s not that. I just don’t need an investor, Aleksander. I have enough money on my own and my grandfather— my step grandfather as it is—has set a trust for me and my brother when our mother died and we are his sole heirs.”

“And your grandfather is?”

“Eirik Huitfeldt, from Trondhjems Værksted.”

She didn’t need to explain to a businessman who the Huitfeldts were or that his was one of the biggest shipbuilding company in the world.

But the recognition which sparkled in his eyes had more than that. “My father worked for Trondhjems Værksted. That’s how my mother ended in Trondheim.”

“I know.” She told him about Eirik remembering his father and that after his parents’ visit she had already confirmed it. “Eirik liked you father.”

“But not my mother,” he complemented with a dry smile.

Her lips trembled, then they smiled.

And then he returned to the previous subject more interested in her. “How do envision your clinic?”

“I’d like a good space, comfortable, serene. Good light. A sprawling big house, not a building, with a garden for the patients to stroll, but nothing too big. But for now I’m happy doing what I’m doing.”

“Which is everything.”

“Everything I like. Aren’t we lucky?”

He gathered her closer, taking her mouth in a soft kiss, letting her silken warmth fill his senses. “I’m feeling pretty lucky at the moment.”

She curled up warm and loose against him in silence, her bones lax and her sense of well-being incredible, falling into a deep sleep again.

Slipping dreamily toward sleep, she realized she liked everything about being with him. And when she thought of tomorrow, she thought of him and Olivia happy.

She understood as she drifted with the wind sighing outside, if she let herself slip just a little more, she would love to see herself in that picture.

.

---

When Ava came into the living room, father, daughter, and dog were on the sofa together, quietly watching Mulan on the big-screen television.

She had slipped away from his bed that morning before the house stirred up awake and somehow she managed to keep from smiling like an idiot every single moment.

“How about that tea party we talked about, Olivia?” she said.

Olivia pumped her fist, scuttling from the couch. “Yes!”

Matthias and Kira followed her carrying a tray filled with Olivia’s teapot, cups, saucers, and a plate of Christmas cookies and arranged everything on the coffee table in front of them.

Olivia snatched up a cookie that had red sprinkles on top. “These are pretty, Ava. Are these Christmas cookies?”

“Serinakaker, Norwegian butter cookies, yes.” Ava picked up the pot and poured tea into three cups.

“Mmmm.” Olivia smacked her lips. “They’re soft and sweet.”

Aleksander took a cookie from the plate and sat down on the rug with his legs crossed. “Wow.”

Ava chuckled. “I’m glad you like them.” She thanked Matthias and Kira and looked at Aleksander after he’d left. “He’s such a gem, Alek. And a real help at rolling out dough.”

Aleksander chortled. “Yes, he’s a fixture here. The cottage wouldn’t run properly without him. I hired Matthias and Kira as soon as Rachel inherited this place.”

“Does he live here?”

“Yeah, in the other house on the property,” he said. “His wife passed away ten years ago and his only daughter moved back to England. I think working here gives him a purpose, takes his mind off things.”

“Then he works around the clock.”

“Not really. Only when I am in need.” He made a mental note to give Matthias and Kira larger Christmas bonuses than he already did. “Besides, he has his own quarters and car.”

“I can tell they love being here. You’re a low-maintenance employer.”

“I don’t know about that…”

Sydney entered the room with a game box in one hand. “Sorry I’m late for the tea party. I dropped the Chinese Checkers and it took a while to gather up all the marbles.” She looked at Olivia and asked, “Do you still want to finish our tournament?”

“If you’re still ready to get your butt kicked,” Olivia said, and everyone laughed.

As Olivia made true on her promise to Sydney, Ava and Aleksander resumed their conversation.

Her proximity to him made her want to rest her hand on his. It felt like it would’ve been the most natural thing in the world—and it was the restraint, the not doing it that was unnatural. They sat near each other with the sound of the fire crackling and Sydney and Olivia laughing and mock threatening as they battled each other’s marbles.

“Matthias is a sweet man,” Ava said, smiling at Aleksander with her eyes and her mouth.

“He likes you.”

“He does?” she asked, her smile growing larger.

Aleksander picked up the small teacup between his index finger and thumb. “I can tell.” I know I do.

Until this moment, Ava would never have thought that a man could sip tea from a child-sized teacup and retain his masculinity. But he was doing a fine job of it.

He wasn’t sure how she had managed it, but he was perfectly relaxed by the time the conversation morphed to discussion of comfort foods.

Olivia wanted meatloaf and mashed potatoes cooked to order at a local diner.

Ava found herself laughing at some silly something Aleksander said about gravy needing its own food group and she was struck by how much she thoroughly enjoyed talking with him about a lot of nothing.

“Ava,” Olivia said, smiled at Ava adoringly. “Are your kids coming for Christmas, too?”

The question took Ava aback and for a moment she went still.

Aleksander caught Ava’s gaze, an apology in his eyes. She gave a little shake of her head to let him know it it was okay.

“Sweetheart, that question’s kind of personal,” he chastised Olivia gently trying to stop her from unconsciously hurting Ava.

“Well, she’s here with us,” Olivia shrugged, undaunted. “She’ll want to be spending Christmas with them, right?”

Her experience from working with kids every day had taught Ava that they had a knack for pointing out the truth, usually in a blunt, no-nonsense manner, just as Olivia had done. They meant no harm. It was just that they hadn’t yet learned about boundaries.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind answering her question,” Ava assured Aleksander but her voice sounded flat to her own ears.

Her sudden inability to meet his eyes told him it was not. He balled his hands into fists because all he wanted now was to take Ava in his arms and shoo the painful memory away.

She paused long enough to gather her wits and control around her and focus all her attention on Olivia. “I’m…I was…kind of married at one time. And I had a little girl, too.”

Confusion in her eyes, Olivia looked at Sydney for help. But the nurse was staring dumbfound at Ava. So, the little girl asked, “But…where is she now?”

Ava stayed quiet for a moment deciding how much to reveal. “Emma—that was her name—is in heaven.”

Olivia’s dark eyes grew rounder with each word Ava spoke. “She died?”

“The doctors found a tumor in her brain when she was four months old.” She still could taste her relief when the cause for Emma’s constant crying was revealed; her despair when days later the fatal diagnosis came and the months that follow; and her blind pain as Emma’s oh-so-little coffin was lowered to the ground. And it still made her want to curl on herself and bale her eyes out.

But that wouldn’t be fair to Olivia.

Pressing her lips together, Ava swallowed her tears before giving the little girl a sad, almost apologetic smile. “They tried everything, but they couldn’t stop that tumor from growing. We got to spend one year together before she…had to go.”

The marble clashed on the board when Olivia released her hold on it. She looked at her father, her voice soft as a snowflake falling. “Did you hear that, Daddy? Emma died.”

“I heard it, Pumpkin.” He heard much more than that; he heard the ache rippling through Ava, echoing inside him, and somewhat reverberating inside his daughter.

Olivia turned her blue wide eyes toward Ava. “And your husband? Did he die too? Like my mommy did?”

“No,” she told Olivia. “He didn’t die. He just wasn’t…able to stay with us. Sometimes people can’t.”

“Oh.”

Again, confusion etched the child’s forehead as she tried to figure out exactly what Ava meant. More questions were coming, Ava could see it. So could Aleksander.

“Listen!” Sydney’s boisterous tone cut through the heavy air, calling everyone’s attention to her. “I hear Santa is in town. Why don’t we go visit him to make sure he gets all of our wishes correctly?”

“Excellent idea!” exclaimed Aleksander, glad Sydney had the wits to think of something Olivia wanted enough to stop her from continuing.

“Oh, yes!” Olivia clapped her hands. “Daddy, can we go? Can we?”

“Sure we can, Liv.”

“The sky does look awfully gray out there,” Ava said, relieved for the reprieve. “So you’d better bundle up real good.”

Olivia gasped with wonder the way only a little girl could.

“She’ll be right back,” Sydney said. “Come on, Liv.”

Aleksander let out a harsh breath and pulled Ava into his arms as Olivia hurried up the stairs toward her bedroom with the nurse behind her. “I’m so sorry for that.”

“It’s all right.” Then she paused. “It actually is. It hurts but…it kind of felt good to talk about it. Almost freeing.”

He tilted his head back surprised. “Oh, yeah?”

She nodded.

“I’m ready!” Olivia shouted from the top of the stairs as she made her way back into the living room.

They sprang apart like teens who had been caught doing something naughty.

Ava turned and focused on Olivia. She was wearing her white coat, buttoned up tight, hood up and tied.

“Are you going somewhere?” her father asked.

“We are.” Then her smile faded a bit as she looked at the adults. “We’re going to see Santa. Aren’t we? You said it was an excellent idea.”

“Oh,” was all Aleksander could say. “Of course.”

Olivia brightened. “Can we take Toddy?”

“Sure.” Thinking father and daughter might enjoy some time alone, Ava said, “I’ll have some of my special bread baked when you come—”

“I want you to come, Ava. Pleeeeeease?”

The child’s pleading tone pulled at Ava’s most tender emotions. Without hesitating, she waved her arms, herding them both toward the front door. “Let’s do this!”