Cayden popped his neck and looked at his phone. Finally, he thought. It seemed like five o’clock had taken a year to reach. Today had been an extra-long one. This morning he had a workout with another client—one of the ones he accepted purely to give him something to do a couple of times a week—and then he had a gap for several hours until a meeting with Janine. The reality of Cayden leaving—her beloved Cayden, the most amazing trainer in the universe—had separation anxiety seeming to kick in.

“I just want to double-check that everything is squared away for the new trainer,” she had said on the phone earlier. She had yet to call Cayden’s replacement by his name. Whether she had forgotten or just didn’t want to make it all real, he didn’t know. “You know, all the details, make sure there are no schedule conflicts, all that jazz.”

“I swear it’s all right,” Cayden had reassured her for the umpteenth time.

“I know, I know. I trust you, Cayden, but I still want to make sure. Come at three, before our workout. I’ll make smoothies.”

That sealed the deal. Janine’s smoothies—with extra vegan protein powder in his, of course—were to die for, and honestly they were one of the only things about Los Angeles (and Janine) he would miss.

So, at three that afternoon, he peeled himself from the couch in his little studio attached to Janine’s massive house and knocked on her side door. As soon as she opened the door, she began drilling him with questions—so many useless questions they had already discussed a hundred times. Cayden knew full well she just wanted to spend time with him. He was flattered, but also a little bit annoyed that an entire hour before their usual workout was spent like this. For most of the time while Janine was rambling as she washed vegetables and bustled around the kitchen, Cayden lost himself in thoughts about taking Lillian to the café that night.

I should buy some flowers for her. The idea brought up a good mental image, but he quickly decided it might be too much. They weren’t together, after all, or they weren’t as far as he knew. Maybe just one flower.

At last they made their way to Janine’s personal gym room, and the sight of all her state-of-the-art equipment woke him up. Typically, he focused more on her during the workouts, but today he decided to switch things up and join her for some of the time. He had to look good for later, of course. Nothing like freshly worked- out muscles to woo the woman he so badly wanted.

Janine was obviously thrilled to be doing some reps with Cayden, and he found it funny when her competitive side rose to the surface. He played along, even though he was literally three times as strong as she was. The workout passed in no time, and he was left wishing he had sweated a little more.

Exhausted, Janine started to get in a complaining mood again about Cayden leaving, so he quickly let her know that he had an engagement. Before she could get too inquisitive, he told her goodbye and ran up the steps two at a time to his studio for a shower.

Before hopping in, he checked his phone. There was still no text from Lillian.

They should be done by now, he thought, tossing his phone onto the bed and stepping into the shower’s cool stream. Oh, well. I’ll just head over to the hotel and surprise her. Janine won’t mind if I pick one of her flowers. Her peace lilies could practically be braided, they’re so wild. I’ll cut one of those.

And he did, all the while thinking humorously that if he ever needed a career change he could always contact Janine about being her personal gardener.

As obsessively as he had checked the cameras on his house before, he checked his phone now, waiting on tenterhooks for any message from her. She did have a habit of running late so he wasn’t too worried, but not even getting a simple text did feel weird. He booked a car to her hotel anyway, devising a plan to make her feel like royalty before she flew back home.

I’m going to make this one of the best freaking nights of her life. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Lillian being so enamored by the great night they were going to have, that she wouldn’t be able to keep him away any longer. She would beg him to move back home, or to move here to Los Angeles with him. Yeah, he thought, sauntering into the fancy marble-floored lobby of her hotel. It’s going to happen. Tonight’s the night.

He looked around quickly, scanning the huge space for her just in case she was waiting, but there was no sign of her. Good. I can continue with the plan. He walked up to the front desk.

“Hi there,” he greeted one of the clerks with a white-toothed beam.

“Hello,” replied the woman, a little awkwardly. “Do you have a reservation?”

I probably should have started with that, he realized. “My, uh—I’m here to pick someone up.”

Still slightly confused, but with a steady smile, she asked, “Would you like me to call them for you?”

“Sure. I’d love that. She’s in room 302.” His smile broadened again. She’s going to love this!

The woman pressed a few keys on the keyboard, her eyes scanning the screen. “All right, just a minute...here we go.” She stopped, looking intently at something.

“What is it?” Cayden asked.

“Sir, what’s your name?”

“Manos. Cayden Manos.”

“Excellent. Mr. Manos, it looks like Miss Stewart hasn’t arrived yet. Her check-in date is tomorrow.”

Cayden paused, trying to put all this together like a puzzle. “Miss Stewart?”

“Yes, in room 302?”

“Um...” His face fell and he put an arm on the counter, thinking hard. That’s not Katharina’s name or Lillian’s. “The woman I’m looking for is named Lillian Warren. Maybe the room was reserved under a different name, I’m not sure.”

“Let me look,” the clerk said cheerfully, typing some more. “Ah, I have here a Lillian Warren in room 302.”

“Yes, that’s her.” Phew!

“It appears she checked out today.”

In an instant, his world came crashing down. Even the lily in his hand seemed to wilt until its bloom faced the marble floors. “Checked out?” His voice sounded weak, even to his own ears.

“Yes. Around 9:30 this morning.”

“9:30?” That’s right after I left.

The woman looked at the screen again. “Yes, our system shows that it was around that time.”

Confounded, Cayden stumbled over his words. “Do you know where she went?”

“No, Mr. Manos. We don’t keep records of that since it’s personal information.”

What’s happening? In a daze, he thanked the woman and trudged to one of the leather couches in the middle of the lobby, not feeling bad about plopping himself down in the middle of the only empty one. Pulling his phone out, he checked every app installed to make sure a message from her hadn’t got lost.

But there was nothing.

She wouldn’t have checked out early to avoid me, he told himself firmly. She’s not like that. Even if there was some beef, or if we had an argument like last time, she wouldn’t have just up and left without warning.

No, she couldn’t have done something like that. But something was going on, and he didn’t like it. He went back to his message thread with her.

Hey, the hotel said you checked out. I didn’t have a text from you about meeting, so I came to surprise you. If you’re still here in the city, let me know so we can still go to the café tonight. I didn’t cancel our reservation yet.

Sending the message quickly, he shoved the phone away and stomped to the exit of the lobby. Before stepping foot in the revolving door, he realized his hands felt too empty. He looked back and saw the lily there on the couch. Unable to decide if he should take it or not, he just looked at it.

She won’t turn up. It’s a waste to carry it around.

But if she’s still here, I can give it to her. Maybe she’s at Katharina’s.

That sparked an idea. He could ask Katharina about her. She was the one person who would definitely know where Lillian went. He jogged over to grab the lily, and went outside to sit in the sun and call Katharina.

She answered on the first ring. “Hi, sexy.”

Not already. “Hey, Katharina. I have a—”

She interrupted by yelling something in a language he had never heard, then laughing hysterically. “Sorry, love, I was talking to my friend. She’s cooking dinner for me in my amazing kitchen!” Cayden heard background laughter joining in.

“Sounds like fun. Hey—”

“I’m sorry, I can’t stop laughing!” she exclaimed. “We’ve had a lot of wine. This is so much fun. Cayden, darling, you should come over.”

“Actually, I have a question about Lillian.” He had to speak extra fast to get it in before Katharina erupted into a laughing fit again.

“Yes! The wonderful Lillian. I miss her so much. She must be one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I cannot thank you enough for introducing her to me. Please, we must make her come back—”

“She isn’t with you?”

“No, no, love. She left this morning in a hurry.”

He felt the gears start to grind in his brain again. “Why?”

“Something happened to her brother. She was a mess when she called. I booked her a very fast flight to go be with him.”

“Her brother?” he mumbled to himself.

“I don’t know! You know her better than I do, I suppose, judging by how you talk about her.”

She doesn’t have a brother, Cayden thought, until it suddenly clicked. Oh, man. It’s Andrew. “Katharina, do you remember where she flew?”

“I can check. Stay there.” She chatted with her friend while finding the details. Cayden wished he knew what they were talking about. Finally, Katharina came back. “She flew to somewhere called Rodney. I don’t know who would name a city something so plain. Cities should have beautiful names, don’t you think?”

“Rodney,” he repeated. “I think I may need to go be with her.”

“You know her brother also?”

“A little.” Cayden fought the lump in his throat at the memory of him and Andrew not hitting it off when they first met. “I’ll let you know.”

“Okay. Come over if you can!” Without waiting for a goodbye, Katharina hung up. Cayden didn’t care; he instantly began searching for the fastest flights to Rodney.

I need to call her first and make sure she’s there. It should have been his first thought, but at least he hadn’t booked the ticket already. The irritation he had felt before melted away as he called Lillian. It rang four times.

“Hello?” her voice cracked.

“Lil,” he said.

“Oh, my gosh. Cayden.” She couldn’t say anything else before the sound of sobs came through the phone.

“Lil, what happened?”

“Andrew was in an accident.”

“Is he okay?”

“He hasn’t woken up.”

Crap. “I’m coming.”

“No, don’t. You have work there.”

“I’m supposed to leave in a week anyway, to come back home. I’m booking a flight now to come be with you.”

Lillian sniffed and blew her nose.

“Are you in Rodney?”

“Yes.”

“Which hospital?”

“Cayden,” she pleaded.

“Don’t argue with me. You need me.”

It was quiet for a second. “If you’re really coming, I’ll pick you up.”

“I’ll text you my flight details when I buy the ticket.”

“You don’t have to come, Cayden. I know you and Andrew didn’t get along last time.”

There was that lump again. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Remember that we were cool at the end of his visit. Anyway, he’s your family, Lil. That means enough to me.”

She started crying again. “I can’t talk. My throat hurts.”

“Keep your phone. I’ll text you.”

“Okay,” she whimpered.

“’Bye, Lil.”

He barely heard her tiny voice say goodbye. Hanging up, he booked the quickest flight over to Rodney and sent her the details.

She replied with a screenshot of their messages on her side. I’m so sorry. I texted you that I was leaving but I never sent it. Must have went to airplane mode.

He read the message and almost felt physical pain. I have to go. Andrew was in an accident. I’m sorry. I’ll call you when I get there. It wasn’t much to go by, but he could tell she was panicking when she typed it.

No worries, okay? he sent back. I’ll see you soon. How’s your stomach?

Her response wasn’t the one he wanted to read. I had a flare-up. Trying to keep it under control.

Tell me what you need, and I’ll bring it.

I don’t need anything except for Andrew to wake up.

Cayden pursed his lips, really struggling with his memory of Andrew. When he came to visit Lillian before Cayden moved temporarily to Los Angeles, he had walked through her front door without even so much as a glance in Cayden’s direction. It went on for a couple of days like that. Thankfully, Lillian had done something that seemed to fix the issue, and the last few days of his visit Andrew was sure to include Cayden in conversations.

Nothing shakes a first impression, he thought smugly, reminding himself that he was doing this for Lillian—this would show her how much she meant to him, much more than a little flower and a call from the front desk.

His flight was in a few hours. He hailed a cab to take him back home, and wracked his brain for something to bring her. Food, probably. He knew she forgot to eat when she was stressed. She liked pizza. Yeah, he thought, feeling his own stomach growling. I’ll bring her a pizza.

Back in his house, he absentmindedly threw some clothes and his toothbrush into a backpack. Poking his head out the window he looked for Janine’s car, but saw that it was gone and their four-car garage was closed. He sighed, relived that she wasn’t there to drill him with questions. Hey Janine, he texted her. I had a little emergency come up with...

He drew a blank. Lillian wasn’t his girlfriend, and that sounded lame anyway. with my family, he decided. She wouldn’t know, anyway. I need to leave for a few days to make sure everything is okay. I’ll call my replacement and have him take over for me. Rolling his eyes, he sent the message. Janine wouldn’t recognize the new guy’s name as long as Cayden was in the picture.

His phone rang loudly, startling him. He groaned. “Hi, Janine.”

“Cayden, is everything okay?”

“Everything’ll be fine. Thanks, Janine.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m leaving soon.”

“I’ll be home in about twenty minutes to send you off.”

He grimaced, clenching his teeth. “Don’t worry about it. I’m leaving for the airport now.”

“I thought you had somewhere to go tonight?”

“I guess this is the new somewhere.”

“What time’s your flight?”

Get out of this phone call! “Hey, Janine, my car’s here. I’ll be in touch about your new coach. Don’t worry about me.”

Cayden’s abrupt shutdown of the question tirade caught her off-guard. “Oh...okay. You promise to tell me if you need anything.”

“I will. ’Bye, Janine.” He hung up quickly. I’ve got to book a car—now.

Thankfully, he was on his way to the airport before any sign of Janine getting home. It meant that he would be too early to check in, but he didn’t mind. Rushing was more Lillian’s thing than his.

As he walked to a coffee shop to lounge until check-in, he remembered the many mornings Lillian woke up all at once, freaking out over sleeping five minutes later than her alarm. Cayden would lie in the bed and watch her run around the room like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to piece together an outfit and take a shower and save the world at the same time. It brought a smile to his face. I hope we can go back to those days soon.

He took the time before walking through security to arrange for Janine’s new trainer to start and find a pizza place open past midnight that would deliver—luckily it wasn’t that hard, since Rodney was a bigger-sized city.

Getting to his gate was nothing but smooth sailing. For a little while he wondered if he was heartless by not feeling totally broken over Andrew’s accident, but he told himself it was okay. He had only met the guy once, and it hadn’t been ideal. He was more excited about seeing Lillian than anything—and this time she wouldn’t be whisked away by Katharina. He would have at least a few days with her. And he could hold her while she stayed with Andrew until he woke up. That was plenty of time to work things out and show her that he was serious about getting back together with her.

Before the plane landed, he memorized everything he wanted to say to her. He repeated the lines in his head so many times he felt like an actor rehearsing for a play, only this meant the difference between having Lillian back in his life or not. His heart pounded as he grabbed his backpack and walked into the arrival hall, scanning the faces and body shapes of everyone there until he saw a familiar one. The most beautiful one.

Hey, he sent her a message. I’m here. Are you okay?

“Hey,” came a quiet, frail voice from behind him.

He spun around and saw her standing there, pale as a ghost and boasting purple bags under her eyes. Without thinking he pulled her close, feeling the coldness of her skin through her hoodie.

“I’m sorry about this,” he whispered, gently rubbing her back. Just yesterday she had looked more vibrant and lively, thanks to the California sun and her emergency pill that saved her from that awful flare-up. But this was not the same Lillian standing here in his arms, her shoulders shaking from despair.

Finally, she pulled away and rubbed her eyes. “Let’s go,” she croaked, walking in the other direction. “Mom and Dad are waiting for us to get there. I stay with him overnight.”

Cayden stared after her for a second, shocked. He had seen Lillian down plenty of times, but this was something alarmingly different. Every step she took threatened to bring her to her knees; he wanted to carry her to the car and had to hold his tongue to keep from asking.

“I, uh, ordered some pizza. It should get there around the same time.” He was at a loss. What the heck am I supposed to say in a situation like this?

“Thank you,” she smiled, but no sign of happiness showed on her face.

“Can I...” Oh, man. How do I ask this? “Can I ask how—”

“I really can’t talk about it until we get there,” she interrupted, walking into a parking lot the size of a lake. “I won’t be able to drive.”

“You already look like you’re not able to drive.”

She didn’t respond to his comment. “I’m not parked far. I got lucky.”

Cayden didn’t dare to open his mouth again until they got in the car. Lillian cranked the engine and turned to face him. “Mom and Dad are Frances and Tanner Waters. Andrew and Amelia’s parents.”

He nodded, and focused on her while she drove back to the hospital, watching her every move to make sure she was okay. She wasn’t shaky and didn’t nod off to sleep; she just looked like some otherworldly spirit floating around, her gaze going straight through everything.

When they parked at the hospital, he popped his knuckles nervously. “So how do you know your way around without a GPS?”

“I mostly grew up here.”

“Oh yeah?” Expecting some answer he waited, but all he got was a dismissing nod. He tried again. “Well, the pizza should be here in a few minutes. The delivery guy will call me when he gets here.”

“Thank you,” she said again, walking into the main hall of the hospital and heading straight for the elevator. Cayden had never realized how nervous hospitals made him until this moment, and his nervousness intensified when they walked into the room where Andrew lay unconscious, hooked to so many machines he looked like a robot instead of a human.

“Cayden,” he heard an unfamiliar voice call, tearing his eyes away from Andrew. An older man and woman rose from their seats. “It’s so good to meet you. Thank you for coming.”

He gave them the best smile he could afford. “You must be Frances,” he forced a small smile, embracing her in a light hug. She smiled back and pulled a blanket tighter around her shoulders.

“Good to meet you,” rumbled the man, stepping forward and holding out his hand. His build was incredibly athletic. “Tanner Waters.”

Cayden shook his hand firmly. “Pleasure.”

A tiny glimmer appeared in Tanner’s eyes and he looked over at Lillian, who had curled up in a ball in a chair on the other side of the room. “Take care of her for us, will you? She hasn’t left this room at all until she picked you up.”

“Absolutely,” Cayden replied, hoping he sounded as confident as he felt. “I’ve got some food coming for her soon.”

“She sure needs it. We’re not far away; she knows where we are if anything happens.” With a pat on Cayden’s back Andrew’s parents plodded out of the room, leaving him standing there with a zombie Lillian and an unconscious Andrew. He put his backpack on a chair and slowly sat on the chair next to Andrew’s head.

Weird, he thought, suddenly aware of his every breath as machines pumped and emitted beeps every few seconds. It looks like him. He knew it was the same person he had seen a few months ago, but it was still surreal seeing him like this. Unresponsive. Hooked to machines and tubes. Bruised forehead. His body was covered by two thin sheets to shield him from the cold room. Cayden wondered what the full extent of the damage was.

He tiptoed into the adjoining bathroom, trying to keep as quiet as possible, but the flush sounded like a typhoon. His phone rang at the same time. Wincing, he ducked into the hallway to answer it. The pizza had arrived.

Lillian hadn’t moved, so he went downstairs to retrieve the food. When he came back up she was in the same position, but it only took a minute for the smell to fill the room and get a response out of her.

“I have pizza,” he taunted, holding up the box.

The intensity of her stare at the pizza box was almost frightening. “What kind is it?”

“I got cheese, so you can eat as much as you want.”

“I want the whole box.” She was instantly in the chair beside Andrew, a thick slice in her hand. She let out a moan as she tore her bite off, steam flowing from it like smoke.

“Is it too hot?” Cayden asked.

She nodded emphatically, inhaling and exhaling through her teeth before swallowing. Cayden took a bite of his own piece. “This smell is enough to wake Andrew, I think.”

Lillian’s eyes locked on her piece of pizza. A tear fell down her cheek.

“Oh, dang. I’m sorry, Lil. I shouldn’t have...” He trailed off when she shook her head. “What is it?”

“I just forgot to eat anything until now,” she blurted, the floodgates opening in her eyes. “I never thought I would be so hungry.”

“Don’t stop eating now!” Cayden reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You aren’t alone here anymore. I’ll make sure we all get through this.”

Making a terrible face, she nodded and devoured the rest of her piece. The colors came back to her face slowly but surely, much to Cayden’s relief. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Even sleep-deprived and empty-stomached, she was unspeakably breathtaking.

She caught him looking at her, his pizza still in hand. “Are you lost?”

He looked down at his uneaten slice. “Oops.”

“You have some cheese,” she pointed at his chin, “there.”

Swiping the back of his hand across his chin, he saw a strand of cheese on his skin. “Thanks,” he said, wishing she could have removed it herself with her mouth instead.

Lillian took the last bite of her pizza and with a satisfied sigh leaned back, hugging her knees. She locked her eyes on Andrew, but Cayden saw the same absent look on her face. She wasn’t really looking at Andrew; she was somewhere else. He didn’t say anything, letting her have her food coma moment.

“You know Amelia was in this same hospital?” she asked quietly after a little while.

“No, I didn’t know that,” he replied, closing the pizza box.

“She was in this hospital for the exact same reason. Except her accident was worse. Stupid drunk. I don’t know which is worse, a drunk driver or an asshole who ran a red light.”

“I’m so sorry, Lil. I wish I could have met her.”

“She would have liked you,” Lillian breathed. “She would never have allowed me to let you go.”

Cayden’s heart thumped. “You think?”

Lillian nodded.

“So...” he took a breath. “So why did you?”

“I don’t think I’m good enough for you.” He could barely hear her.

“But you are.”

“I have too much baggage. I can’t even eat sausage pizza. I freaking love sausage pizza, Cayden. And beer. I freaking love beer.”

He scooted his chair closer. “One day you’ll be well enough to eat sausage pizza and drink beer again.”

“I don’t know if I will. That’s the thing.” Oddly, she didn’t sound upset. “This whole Crohn’s thing is the opposite of easy to get used to, but I think I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that I might not be able to do these things again.”

“Maybe it’s just making room for you to find new things you can do that give you the same joy.” Cayden stopped himself and laughed. “Whoa. I just got philosophical.”

“Welcome to the deep-thinkers’ club!” Lillian held up her hand to give him a high-five. Seeing the little smile on her face—the tiny, real smile, not the forced one—brought a huge grin to his own.

“I hate being away from you, Lil.” He didn’t even realize he’d said it until it was out. That wasn’t part of my rehearsed lines, he thought, starting to panic just a little. What am I supposed to say next? That threw my whole rhythm off!

“Your plants hate being away from you, too.” It was her way of trying to avoid talking about this, and they both knew it.

He didn’t let that stop him. Already, he was in too deep; this was now or never. “I don’t want to stay in Los Angeles.”

“Where do you want to be?”

“With you,” he said so quickly he almost cut her off.

Lillian just looked at him. “Cayden...”

“I don’t care, Lil. I want to be where you are. If it’s back home, I’ll be there. I’m planning to move back next week anyway.”

“But you have so many people who want to hire you in Los Angeles,” she protested.

“So do you.”

She looked down.

“And if you decide that you want to go back for a while, work with all these people who also want you...” So many words fought to come out, he wasn’t sure where to start. “I’ll come with you. I don’t care. I just—I can’t stand being apart from you any longer.”

“I hold you back, Cayden.” Her voice was low and level. “It started with the parties you had at your house, then me getting hopelessly drunk on my own porch. You literally had to save me in my own house.”

“I loved it.”

“It’s embarrassing,” she snapped. “Your life is so carefree and fun. Mine is full of medicines and food journals and not-fun stuff.”

“It doesn’t matter to me.” He leaned forward. “Lil, I don’t fall for someone because they’re not on meds and are in perfect health. I mean, you know my relationship history, with my parents and then with my ex. I don’t just choose someone out of nowhere. I’m careful with who I start something with.”

“You’re flattering.” Lillian hugged her knees tighter. The unfriendly white light of the bedside lamp reflected off a fresh clump of tears rimming her eyelid.

Cayden ran his hands through his hair and looked at the clock on the wall. Two-thirty in the morning. “I don’t know what I can say that will convince you that my life is richer with you in it.”

She turned her head towards him very slightly, but enough for him to notice. She’s listening, he thought, and turned his chair to face her. “This might be corny,” he began, putting his hand on her arm. She didn’t move it. “But I feel like something is missing when I’m not with you. These last few months have been agonizing for me. Lil, I’m serious. You have to believe me.”

“There are so many gorgeous women in Los Angeles, though,” she whispered. “Women who have no health problems and who love to party and travel.”

“But Lil,” he leaned closer, looking directly in her dark eyes, “they aren’t you.”

A tear fell to her chin.

He wiped it away with his thumb. “You’re strong in places that I’m not. It kills me to say it, because I want to be the one who can take perfect care of you. But the truth is, you take care of me as much as I do you, whether you realize it or not—if not more. Probably more, actually. It’s just my ego talking.”

She sniffed. “Cayden.”

“Please, Lil. Try to believe what I’m saying. I couldn’t tell you back in Los Angeles. I was going to talk with you tonight about it, but you were gone. I can’t keep it in any longer.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “I’m going to ignore that innuendo.”

He chuckled. “Unintended.”

They looked at each other.

“Do you believe me?” he asked, hoping he would be able to hear her past the thud of his heart and the beeping of the machines. He thought he saw her nod, but it was so slight he couldn’t be sure. He took a breath and forced his voice out. “Can we try again? Now that I’m not going to be gone any longer, can we give it another whirl?”

He felt her skin against his hand, the tiny goose bumps rising in the chill of the night. He saw every individual eyelash and freckle. Please say yes, he begged silently. I couldn’t bear to be away from this beautiful creature again.

Two more tears slowly slid down her cheeks. She rested her other hand on his arm, looking back at him shyly.

“Okay,” she breathed. “Let’s give it another whirl.”

THE END

Fragile Love Coming December 2017