I broke my vow. Broke it all to fucking hell. Ky buckled himself into his seat aboard Merrick’s star-hopper and buried his face in his hands. The Rage had left him as suddenly as it had come when he heard Dani’s voice begging him not to kill her father…when he had seen the tears in her lovely dark eyes.
But though the red curtain of fury had left his vision, it was only to let him see clearly what he had done. He had used his Touch sense as a weapon. Not only that, he had used it to kill.
I’ll never be welcome aboard the Mother Ship again—not that I blame those who would keep me out. How can a male who breaks his vow to both the Council and the Goddess be trusted?
It wasn’t just the loss of his place aboard the Mother Ship that worried him though—it was the loss of his place in Dani’s heart. He had seen the horror in her eyes—the disbelief when he’d started to slide his whisper talons between her father’s ribs, and he didn’t blame her—didn’t blame her one fucking bit.
I’m the lowest of the low, Ky told himself. One death—Tornk’s—might have been necessary. But to kill again after that and then to try yet again…
He felt sick at the thought—at the memory, still tinged with bloody red. He could still feel how easy it had been to kill—the smooth way his talons had slipped inside the flesh of his victims.
Was this why it was forbidden for a Touch Kindred to use his Touch sense as a weapon? Because it was so easy—too easy—to kill with just a thought? Would he want to do it again? Would anyone be safe around him or would everyone—even those he loved—even Dani—be at risk now that he had let the monster inside him out?
Such thoughts drove out everything else, even the fact that they were safe in the ship and Merrick was setting the coordinates for home.
What home? I have no home…not anymore. And what will happen to Dani? How could I have done this to her? I’ve taken her from her home planet and now I have no place to offer her to stay. Not that she probably wants to stay with me after what I did…
His thoughts ran in an endless loop and Ky couldn’t shut them out, no matter how hard he tried.
* * * * *
The doorway in the air turned out to lead into a small but comfortable ship. Apparently it belonged to the huge Kindred with mismatched eyes—Merrick—and the small woman—Elise—who was his mate. She wore opaque clothes like a commoner and trousers like a male but it was clear she was neither. She welcomed them warmly aboard and instructed them on how to strap into their safety harnesses.
After the small ship cleared Goshan space, Dani breathed a little easier. She thanked their new hosts very much for helping to rescue herself and Lavi and Jontu.
“I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t come for us,” she told Merrick and Elise. “Lavi and I were about to be given to evil and abusive males.”
“I’m so glad we got to you in time,” Elise said, coming back to the rear or the seating area to squeeze Dani’s hand. “Now here—take these,” she added, handing out large, pink capsules to Dani and Lavi and Jontu.
“What are they?” Dani asked, examining the strange pink object in her palm.
“Translation bacteria,” Elise explained. “They’ll help you understand what everyone is saying when we get to the Mother Ship.”
Dani thanked her again and swallowed the pink capsule with a drink of water. Then she made polite small talk with Elise since Lavi and Jontu seemed too wrapped up in each other to talk.
Through it all, Ky was strangely silent. He sat strapped into one of the safety harnesses in the back row of seats and stared with vacant eyes at the floor.
Dani didn’t know what to say to him. To be honest, she didn’t know what to feel about him. She knew what had happened in the little courtyard. Ky had used his Touch sense as a weapon—something he had sworn to her and to himself that he would never do.
The fact that he had killed both Tornk and Warro without even laying a hand on them was frightening. It made her think all over again of the stories Yana used to tell of evil sha-gras who could come in the night and bewitch you without even touching you.
But Ky isn’t like that, she argued with herself uneasily. He’s kind and sweet and generous and brave. He only used his Touch sense that way because he had to—because there was no other way. Councilor Tornk would have killed me otherwise. Killed me or taken me away and changed the color of my eyes, whether I wanted him to or not.
The thought made her shiver and she wished again that Ky would talk to her—that he would say something—anything…
“Ky,” she said hesitantly, turning to him. But just then Merrick announced,
“We’re here.”
“What?” Dani looked up in surprise. “Where? Where are we?”
“The Mother Ship.” Elise pointed at the view screen which showed a vast white ship orbiting a small planetoid. Could that be Earth’s moon?
“But we…we just got started, didn’t we?” Dani asked in confusion. “I thought…thought we had to go through a fold in space and—”
“That’s true with other ships,” Merrick rumbled, grinning. “But my hopper has a built in worm hole generator. Means the Goshans won’t be able to track us—no trail to follow. Just there to here in the blink of an eye. I even took a couple hops in between just to be safe.”
“Oh. Well…what do we do now?” Dani honestly didn’t know. In her previous fantasies, Ky had taken her aboard the Mother Ship and shown her around her new home. But the big Kindred was white-faced and silent, still not saying a word.
She felt lost without him—confused and tied in knots and uncertain about what the future held. Lavi and Jontu looked worried as well but at least they had each other. With Ky not talking to her, Dani felt all alone and not at all sure of what the future held.
Elise must have seen the look on her face because she smiled and reached back to squeeze Dani’s hand.
“Now we get you acquainted with some new friends,” she told her. Turning to Merrick, she nudged him with one elbow. “Better call Commander Sylvan, honey. And ask him to send Sophie and Liv and anybody else who wants to come. We need the whole welcoming committee to make everybody feel at home.”
“You got it, baby.” Merrick put in a call and soon the viewscreen was filled with the picture of a stern-looking Kindred with ice-blue eyes and short blond hair.
“Merrick!” The Kindred, whom Dani supposed must be Commander Sylvan, looked surprised. “Are you back so soon? Did you find anything?”
“You forget, Brother, my ship has capabilities beyond others and I don’t need the Mother Ship’s help to fold space.” Merrick grinned. “As it turns out, I found your missing pilot and a few other people besides.”
“Commander Kyron is safe?” A look of relief came over Commander Sylvan’s face. “Thank the Goddess! We feared him lost or dead!”
“I might as well be dead.”
Ky’s voice was so unexpected that Dani jumped.
“Ky—” she began but he was already unbuckling his harness and pushing his way to the front of the ship.
“Kyron,” Commander Sylvan said. “It’s good to see you. Welcome back to the Mother Ship.”
“You won’t want to welcome me aboard when you know what I have done, Commander.” Ky’s voice was low and harsh and the look on his face was one of self-hatred. It frightened Dani to see it. “I have broken my vow,” he told his commanding officer. “I have used my Touch sense as a weapon—not just to wound but to kill. Twice.”
“Hey, now,” Merrick objected, frowning. “You did what you had to do, Brother.” He looked at Sylvan’s image on the viewscreen. “His female was in danger and there was no other way to save her. And I’m pretty sure he was in Rage at the time.”
“None of that matters,” Ky insisted. “The fact is that I broke my vow. I should not be allowed back aboard the Mother Ship.”
“Commander Kyron, please.” Sylvan made a motion for silence with one hand. “I understand that you have broken your vow but tell me this: do you feel you are a danger to yourself or others right now?”
“I…don’t know,” Ky said bleakly. “You know what may happen when a Touch Kindred goes bad, Commander Sylvan. I don’t want to kill anyone else but it was so easy to do it in the first place. So easy…”
Sylvan frowned. “I want you aboard the Mother Ship and in my office for a thorough examination, Kyron. Now.”
“Excuse me, Commander Sylvan,” Elise put in. “But we have some other people aboard as well. The Princess Dannella and her sister, Princess Lavi and her mate-to-be, Courtier Jontu. May they have permission to come aboard the Mother Ship?”
“Of course.” Sylvan’s face softened somewhat. “Kyron, is this the bride-to-be you were telling me about?”
“She was.”
Was? How can he say “was?” Ky's words struck terror and hurt into Dani’s heart—and he wouldn’t even look at her as he spoke them!
“Ky—” She unbuckled her harness and reached for him but just then Merrick spoke.
“Everybody back in your seats please. We’re about to land in the docking bay.”
Dani sat back down and Ky did too but he still wouldn’t look at her and he was completely silent when she tried to speak to him. She was dimly aware of Elise murmuring something to Commander Sylvan, asking for friends to meet them and a change of clothes but she couldn’t pay much attention—she was too hurt and worried.
Did Ky really not love her anymore? And if so, what was she going to do?