Chapter Thirteen
Utah sat on the banks of Black Creek, his back propped against an old cypress tree and his head thrown back in anguish. The insistent screams inside his mind had nearly drained him of his strength.
He glanced down at his soot-covered clothes, wishing more than anything to be able to shower and toss them into the trash.
But no matter how hard he tried, he’d always wake up in the same uniform he’d worn to his death.
Regret had been instant the moment he’d left Michelle on that couch. Kissing her was the single most incredible thing that had happened to him since he’d lived.
Which was exactly the reason he’d left to begin with. Utah knew he could never have her. She was alive, so alive…and he, well, he wasn’t.
She deserved a life. A man that could give her babies, buy her a home in the country, and offer her all the things she could ever dream of. Not some smoke-permeated spirit haunting her every move, trapped in a place he couldn’t escape from.
Michelle’s voice suddenly penetrated his torment, soft and alluring. “Utah…”
He must be imagining things, he decided, dropping his head back against the tree once again.
“Utah…”
His entire body tightened as the sound resonated again.
Closing his eyes, he attempted to block out her soft call. Pain sliced through his body, wringing a moan from his throat.
“Utah…”
It took everything he had to push away from the tree and gain his feet. Damn her for seeking him out, and damn him for being unable to resist.
Utah staggered forward, his teeth gritted against the pain throbbing inside his head.
Gathering the effort it took to travel through the planes of the afterlife, Utah conjured up Michelle’s beautiful face and forced himself to go to her.
He practically crashed into her coffee table with his violent landing in her living room.
Michelle appeared in her bedroom doorway, her eyes huge in her face. “Utah?”
Near instant relief poured through him the second she stumbled into the hallway. “What on earth?”
Utah pushed to his knees, feeling his strength returning with every second that drew Michelle closer.
She hurried to his side and dropped to her knees next to him. “Oh my God, are you all right?”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “I am now.”
Apparently, his attempt to play off the situation didn’t work with Michelle. “You’re not all right. Your face is as white as chalk.”
“I’ll be better soon,” Utah rasped, accepting her helping hand. “I just need a moment.”
Michelle stood, tugging on his arm to help him stand. “Here, sit on the couch.”
Utah sat, feeling the rush of energy enter his body with her touch.
“What are you doing here?” Michelle blurted out. “It’s two in the morning.”
Feeling a little foolish, Utah explained, “I thought I heard you calling out to me.”
Michelle’s eyebrows lifted. “You can hear my thoughts?”
Utah shook his head. “No. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I just wanted to hear you bad enough that I did.”
And then it donned on him what she’d said. “You were thinking of me?”
Michelle ducked her head. “Well, I was reading about your sister online, and my thoughts were all over the place.”
She sighed, lifting her head to meet his gaze. “Yes, I was thinking about you.”
Utah’s heart stuttered.
“I thought I’d done something to scare you away,” she continued. “I mean—”
He gripped the back of her head and closed his mouth over hers.
If he remained in his current form for the next thousand years, he’d never know what possessed him to kiss her once again. But kiss her he did.
He couldn’t seem to get close enough. Her scent, her intoxicating flavor swirled through him, creating a need he was powerless to resist.
His hands came up without conscious thought to gently push her down to the cushiony softness of the sofa.
He followed her down.
Michelle’s left leg dropped off the side of the couch, leaving her open and vulnerable beneath him.
Settling between her thighs, Utah moaned into her mouth, his tongue dancing with hers, and pressed his erection against her warm center.
She tilted her pelvis up, a blatant invitation to grind against her. And he wasn’t about to disappoint.
Utah rolled his hips, nearly hissing into her mouth at the feel of a thousand nerves scattering through his rock-hard shaft.
Lifting his head slightly, Utah peered into her questioning eyes. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. “I want you.”
Her gaze became hooded. “Can you? I mean, is it possible?”
Was it possible? It had to be, he thought, rocking his hips forward one more. He was as solid as if he still lived. “I shouldn’t. I know that I shouldn’t, but God help me, I need you.”
She reached up, flattened her palms against his chest, and gave a gentle push.
Utah sat back on his knees between her open thighs, stunned and more than a little in awe when she gripped the hem of his shirt and jerked it up.
He ducked his head, helping her remove the offensive article he’d worn for the past three years.
She tossed it to the floor and reached for his belt.
Utah’s hand covered hers. “What if this is all in my mind? What if I’m still sitting under that cypress tree at the shipyard, imagining this whole scenario?”
“You’re not imagining anything. If you are, then I’m in the same dream as you.”
He wasn’t sure of anything anymore. How Michelle was able to strengthen him, touch him, and make him feel the impossible was too much to comprehend.
Michelle suddenly stilled, uncertainty returning to her eyes.
“We don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable with it,” Utah rumbled. “I can only imagine how disgusting I must look to you.”
Michelle moved to sit up, leaving Utah no choice but to back off and give her room.
She straightened her shirt, a look of surprise on her face as she turned to face him on the couch. “Disgusting? Is that what you think?”
Utah shrugged, embarrassed under her close scrutiny. “I would be if I were in your position. I reek of smoke, and my clothes—”
Michelle’s harsh laugh cut off the remainder of his words. “Do you want to know what you smell like to me? You smell delicious, masculine and fresh. Better than anything I’ve smelled in a long time.”
Now, it was Utah’s turn to be surprised. He glanced down at the soot on his hands and pants and then at Michelle’s clean T-shirt. No stains from his body had transferred to her. “This isn’t really happening, isn’t it?”