Words can’t describe the amount of joy I felt the first time Travis sat in my lap. It was like I was holding a tiny version of myself. He was happy, healthy, and smart. If Layla did one thing right, she had raised the boy well. Even with the flood of emotion and shock that was still overwhelming me, I couldn’t wait to spend more time with him, couldn’t wait to get to know him and be father and son.

But would I even have that chance?

“So what are we going to do?” I asked Layla as I bounced Travis around in my lap. “This is all a little much for me to process. Are you living in the area again?”

“No. I live in Miami.”

I stretched my neck a little. “Okay, so where does that leave me? Are you going to give me the opportunity to spend time with him or…?”

“I haven’t really thought that far ahead, Mason. I really had no idea how things would go when I came here. I just knew that you needed to know. I knew that Travis needed to know.”

I let out a big sigh.

“Travis,” Layla said suddenly. The boy stopped fooling with my replica car and his eyes went wide when his name was spoken. “Mommy has something to tell you.”

“What?!” he shouted.

“Mason here… he is your Daddy. Do you know that?”

“Daddy?” he asked. He looked up to me with a confused set of eyes.

“He made you, same as Mommy. So you should call him Daddy, okay?” Layla looked towards me. “If that’s what you want.”

My heart thumped, and I raised my eyebrows. “Wow… It’s a lot. But yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Daddy!” Travis squealed and burst out into a fit of random laughter.

“What do you want with this, Mason?”

“Well, of course I would like to see him. How long are you going to be here?”

“I have a flight back to Florida in just a couple days.”

I sighed and put my hand on my brow. “Okay, so we have some time to talk about this. We don’t have to figure out everything all at once. Where are you staying?”

“I’m staying with Amanda. Do you remember Amanda?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“She’s waiting for me out in the car.”

“Well, maybe you should have her come in, or if you want we can go have a bite to eat and talk things over somewhere away from here. You can’t just leave her sitting outside.”

“Okay let’s go get something. I’ll have Amanda watch Travis. I don’t want him to sit through any more of our bickering.”

“Okay,” I said. I looked down at Travis and he just smiled. “Hey buddy. I hope I get to see you again soon.”

“Can I have dis car?” he asked.

“Travis you can’t—“ Layla started.

I shrugged as I cut her off. “Sure, you can have it.”

“Tankssss Daddy!”

Hearing him call me Daddy sent feelings through my heart that I didn’t even know I had. I was already starting to love the boy. Thank god, I finally had that opportunity.

“Travis, do you want to go spend some time with Aunt Amanda? You want to go play in her pool?”

“Yeah!” Travis leapt off of my lap and started running towards Layla. She stood and grabbed his hand, walking him outside to the car.

Fuck, I thought. I was not prepared at all for everything that had happened that day. Travis entering my life, seeing Layla again, and finding out that she had a couple reasons for running out on me. I didn’t think they were particularly good reasons, but they were reasons nonetheless.

After Layla sent Travis off, we hopped in my BMW, and I started for a diner a little less than a mile from the shop.

“What’s with the SUV? It doesn’t look like something you’d drive.”

“Well, after you left, I quit racing.”

“Really? That’s a bit surprising…”

“Well, part of the reason Sam got her modeling gig was because she was a racer, and you left me right after the accident. I was devastated, and it felt like street racing was taking everything I cared about away from me. I just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

“I’m sorry you felt that way. I never thought that leaving would have that kind of effect.”

“Then you don’t understand how fucking much I cared about you.”

We made it to the diner and took a couple seats by the window, out of listening distance of other customers. I ordered some sliders and fries, and Layla ordered a chicken sandwich. Our food arrived a few minutes later, and we were both practically nibbling and picking while we stole vengeful, silent glances at each other.

“The whole time, I thought you had used me as a toy,” Layla said.

“A toy?”

“I thought I was just some High School chick that you wanted to take advantage of.”

“That’s ridiculous. You were only four years younger than me.”

“Yeah, but it seems like a lot when you’re 18.”

“That’s true. It was something I struggled with, but I never thought of you as a toy.”

“And what if I hadn’t left that day? What would you have done? I didn’t have any money and didn’t have a place to stay.”

I almost choked on the chewed up piece of slider in my mouth. Her question seemed that naïve. “I was fucking in love with you. I would’ve told you to live with me. I would’ve taken care of you and done everything in my power to keep you close to me.”

“That’s what I hoped until—“

“Please don’t talk about Sam again. I’ve already explained it, and I don’t know what else I can say. I never did anything with Sam.”

Layla nodded. “I believe you.” There were a few moments of silence as Layla stared down at her food. “I’m sorry.”

“Wait, I don’t even know what your situation is now. Are you wanting me to send you child support?”

Layla shook her head. “No, no… I would never ask you to do that. I have a job as a Customer Service rep now. It’s enough to pay the bills, and I just graduated a semester ago. I’m going to start working as a pharmacist as soon as Travis starts preschool, and then I’ll have more than enough money for Travis and I to live a pretty comfortable life.”

“Okay,” I said with a nod. “But if you need help, I’ll be there.” I twisted my chin a little. “I’m a little impressed that you made it out of college even with Travis on your hands.”

“It was tough, but I was determined.”

“And what if I tell you that I want to see Travis on a frequent basis?”

Layla sulked her shoulders and shrugged a little bit. “I don’t know. Do you have any ideas?”

“Well, can you leave him with me?”

Layla started shaking her head and making a weird humming noise. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, a couple days sure. But how? We’re living on opposite sides of the continent. And if I left him here while I was in Miami, it would throw his life out of whack.”

“Isn’t that how things are supposed to work when two parents aren’t together?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been in this situation. But please, put yourself in Travis’ shoes. What would he want?”

“I think he would want to spend time with his father.”

“And he would want to spend time with his mother and have a stable home as well.”

“Of course.” I sat the slider I was biting on down in frustration. “Why can’t you just move back to the OC and make this easy?”

Layla sighed. “I’ve got a preschool picked out and I’ve already got a job lined up.” She twisted her neck. “Can you come to Miami?”

I chuckled. “I’ve never even been to Florida, and I have a business here. I don’t even know what the street scene is like in Miami.”

“Oh gosh.” Layla put her fingertips on her temple.

“What? Did you think this would be easy?”

“I don’t know anything, Mason.” Suddenly, tears started pouring out of Layla’s eyes, and soon those silent tears turned to sniffle and wails.

“Hey…” I said, unsure how to handle the situation.

“I just want what’s best for Travis,” she cried.

I swallowed and huffed a little. “I know. I know.” I reached out, and grabbed her arm, then pulled her hand into mine. “Look at me. I want what’s best for Travis too. I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to take him from you.”

She sniffed loudly and picked up a napkin, trying her best to wipe the tears away. “I know, and I don’t want you to feel left out of his life.”

“Thanks,” I said. “It means something that you care.”

The next 10 minutes or so went by with us eating our food in silence and eyeing at each other when we weren’t looking down or staring off in the distance. It felt really awkward, but not completely uncomfortable at the same time.

I couldn’t keep my heart from fluttering a little bit when I looked at her, her face red from the tears. It seemed like she had barely changed from the young girl that I had met that day at OC High, but she had matured emotionally and mentally at the same time. I had really fell in love with the girl, and having my questions answered about her disappearance seemed to lift a weight off of my shoulders. I wished that it hadn’t gone the way that it had. I wished more than anything that I had known why she left, or that she hadn’t left at all and we could have continued what we had, avoiding the awful situation.

“Does Travis have a stepfather?” I asked.

“No, I’m single. I’ve pretty much been alone since we split.”

“That’s surprising.”

Layla snorted. “You don’t know what it’s like trying to date as a single mom. What about you?”

“There’s been a couple girls I was involved with but nothing serious. Never anyone that I was connected with the same as I was with you. It’s been hard to trust.”

“We weren’t together that long.”

“Okay then. How did you feel when you left?”

“I felt like shit and wanted to die, but maybe it was a little easier for me to forget things because I thought you cheated and I was so occupied with Travis.”

I breathed hard and leaned my head back against the diner seat. “We fucked up, didn’t we?”

“It was mostly me who fucked up.”

I snapped my lips together. “Man, I would’ve done anything to see the first few years of Travis’s life.”

“I have videos. I can send them to you if you want.”

“Well, yeah, I’d love that. It won’t be as great as the real thing but it’s something.”

We continued talking in the diner until the sun went down. I learned that Travis’s favorite food was peaches and that he loved playing Mario Kart on Nintendo 64. We talked a little more about how things used to be, about her life in Miami and my life in Orange County, and the more that we spoke, the less tension was in the room until it suddenly felt like it had gone away.

I hadn’t smiled that much in a long time, and it sort of felt like she never left.

“I should call Amanda to come get me,” Layla finally said.

“Don’t worry. I can drive you back.”

I paid the tab and we headed for my car. When I was buckling my seat belt, I asked, “So where does Amanda live?”

“Beverly Hills.”

“Beverly Hills? Well damn. She must be doing well.”

“She’s got an old, rich boyfriend.”

“Good for her.” I flipped on the radio and pop music started blasting through the speakers.

“So you do radio now?”

I grinned and waved my hand at the high-tech stereo. “No cassette player.”

“You are silly…”

“I’m silly? Why is that?”

“Nothing, it’s just that most people do mp3 players or Bluetooth from their phone.”

“Yeah, well, just shoving a cassette in a slot or pressing the ON button is a whole lot easier.”

Layla stroked her hair. “See what I mean? That’s silly…”

We rounded a corner and there was a sign pointing towards OC High, the opposite of where we were going.

“Hey, maybe it’s a lot to ask, but can you do me a favor?”

“What’s that?”

“I haven’t seen the old High School since I graduated. Can we drive by it?”

“Yeah, okay....” I turned the car and headed for the school.

It was Summer break and late in the evening, so there were no cars in the parking lot as I pulled in.

“Still looks exactly the same.” Layla said. As I pulled the car in a parking space, she added, “You don’t have to park.”

“Might as well have an up close look while we’re here. Who knows when you will be back in California? School is out for another month or so, so there’s no people to worry about.”

We stepped out of the car, and started walking up the lighted steps that led to the front door.

“I remember making this walk every day.”

“Me too.”

Layla turned and looked back out towards the parking lot. “That spot right over there is where Amanda gave Mr. Watson a boner at Caleb’s car, and the same spot where I met you for the first time.”

“I remember… Not the Watson part, but I remember seeing you that day in Caleb’s car. Never for a moment did I think that … you know… everything between us.”

“Yeah, I didn’t either. Not in a million years.”

I turned back towards the school and walked up to the glass door, peeking in to have a look at the papers and plaques hanging on the walls. “It sure would’ve been cool if Travis got to go to the same school we went to, wouldn’t it?”

Layla’s head dipped a little. “Yeah…”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. I know it’s not possible—just it would be cool.”

She nodded.

“You want to go check out the football field? It looks a bit different now.”

“How?”

“Come.” I tilted my heads and grabbed the base of her arm, leading her gently towards the field.

When the open grass came into view, her eyes widened. “Oh, wow. They took down that old fence.”

“Yeah. From what I hear the students were complaining and saying that it made things feel more like a prison than school.”

“It’s a lot better this way.”

“Yeah…”

We walked onto the soft grass of the field. It was a little overgrown, like it was a few days past the usual time that they would mow it.

“Do you remember your Prom night out here?”

Layla smiled, and ran off a few feet, then started running backwards acting like she was holding a football then passing it to a teammate, the same way I had done that night. “I remember it, Mr. Quarterback.”

I chuckled. “I’d like to teach Travis a thing or two about football.”

“That would be nice. He loves playing catch with my dad.”

I stuck my hands in my pockets and looked out at the grass. Maybe I can figure out a way to get out to Miami…

Layla was pacing over to the side of the bleachers, and she eyed the area where we first had sex. “That’s the spot where it all happened.”

I walked up beside her. “I was never able to get the grass stains out of my slacks. Had to throw the tux away.”

“I was so scared that someone would catch us. And to think we were making a kid that night...”

I held up my hands in defense. “I was just as surprised as you when the condom broke.”

Layla giggled. “I guess I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I don’t know what I would do without Travis. He gives me a reason to wake up every morning.”

I put my arms back down and my hand unintentionally grazed against hers. We stood there for a moment, just staring at the grass, and as if there were magnets controlling our motions, our hands locked into each other. First the grip was loose, and slowly the grip became tighter and tighter.

“What if?” I asked. Layla turned and looked up at me with questioning eyes. I turned as well and pulled her in a little closer to me. “What if we… gave it another shot?” I asked.

“Another shot?” she muttered, her eyes darting from side to side.

“We had something special, and it feels like we left it unfinished. I don’t think it’s fair to either of us or Travis.”

Her face was blank and she didn’t say a word.

I pulled her in ‘til her chest was right up against mine, squeezed her, then slid my hands up until they were both under her chin, cupping her face and forcing her to look up at me. “Let me be a father to Travis and the man I once was to you again.”

“But I hurt you…” she whimpered.

“And it’ll hurt me even more if I just watch you walk away.”

I leaned my head down slowly, giving her every chance to pull away, giving her every opportunity to stop the wheels that I set in motion. But she didn’t move. She just watched as I closed in, her eyes scanning my face until the moment that my lips pressed onto hers. She closed her lids and inhaled hard, and all through my body, I felt like a fire had ignited, a fire that had lay dormant for the past four years in a pile of dried out ashes.

I felt alive for the first time I had in a long time.

She purred, and her hands slowed moved up my torso until they were on my shoulders and as we kissed, she squeezed me harder and harder, affirming that she wanted it too.

I moved my hands down ‘til they were firmly under her ass, and as I lifted her, she jumped and wrapped her legs around my body, never moving her lips from mine. I carried her blindly to the spot that was once made love, using only my sense of direction, and as I began to set her down, she pulled away.

“Wait!” she said and hopped off me.

“What’s wrong?”

She bit her lip and gave a slanted smile. “I didn’t bring a lot of clothes with me on this trip.”

I laughed hysterically, and she joined in on the laughter. I grabbed her hand and we practically ran back to my BMW. When we were inside, I told her to buckle up, and it felt like I was street racing the BWM with how ridiculously fast I drove us over to my house.