No goodbye. No good wishes. Not even a go-to-hell. Georgina simply turned and walked out of the little white cottage in Hendon, leaving her hopes and girlish dreams behind. She could hear Mac saying something, probably making an excuse to Meg Cameron for Georgina’s rudeness. Then he was there at her back and giving her a lift up onto the rented nag.
He didn’t say a word to her, at least not until they’d left the village behind. She’d tried to get some speed out of her animal, the urge to be miles away as quickly as possible gnawing at her, but the sorry creature wouldn’t oblige. And a fast walk gave Mac plenty of time to study her and see through her calm facade. One thing about Mac, he had an annoying habit of being blunt when you least wanted bluntness.
“Why are ye no’ crying, lass?”
She thought about ignoring him. He wouldn’t press her if she did. But what was rolling around inside her needed letting out.
“I’m too angry right now. That double-dammed scoundrel must have married that woman on his very first docking, long before the war ended. No wonder he became pro-British. He was converted through marriage!”
“Aye, that’s possible. Possible, too, was he saw what he liked and had some, and wasna caught fer it until his second docking.”
“What’s it matter when or why? All this time I’ve been sitting at home pining over him, he’s been married and making children, having just a swell-dandy time!”
Mac snorted. “Ye’ve wasted time, all right, but ye were never pining away.”
She sniffed at his lack of understanding. “I loved him, Mac.”
“Ye loved the idea of having him fer yer own, bonny lad that he was, a child’s fancy ye should’ve outgrown. Were ye less loyal, and less stubborn, ye’d have let go of yer fool’s dream long ago.”
“That’s not—”
“Dinna interrupt me till I’ve finished. Did ye love him true, ye’d be crying now and angry after, no’ the other way around.”
“I’m crying inside,” she said stiffly. “You just can’t see it.”
“Well, I thank ye fer sparing me, I surely do. Never could abide a female’s tears.”
She gave him a fulminating glare. “You men are all alike. You’re about as sensitive as a…a brick wall!”
“If ye’re looking fer sympathy, ye willna get it from me, lass. If ye’ll recall, I advised ye tae forget about that mon more’n four years ago. I also recall telling ye that ye’d be regretting coming here, and no’ just when yer brothers get ahold of ye. So what has yer stubbornness got ye this time?”
“Disillusionment, humiliation, heartache—”
“Delusion—”
“Why are you determined to make me madder than I am?” she snapped hotly.
“Self-preservation, hinny. I told ye, I canna abide tears. And as long as ye’re yelling at me, ye willna be weeping on my shoulder…Och, now, dinna do that, Georgie lass,” he said as her face began to crumble. But the tears started in earnest, and all Mac could do was stop their horses and hold out his arms to her.
Georgina leaped across the short space and curled into his lap. But she wasn’t content to just have a good cry on a caring shoulder. There was still a lot of anger inside that came out in a lot of wailing.
“Those beautiful children should have been mine, Mac!”
“Ye’ll have yer own bairns, lots of them.”
“No I won’t. I’m getting too old.”
“Aye, all of twenty-two.” He nodded sagely, fighting to keep from snorting. “That’s mighty auld.”
She paused to scowl at him. “You picked a fine time to start agreeing with me.”
Both red brows went up in feigned surprise. “Did I now?”
Georgina sniffed, and then wailed again, “Oh, why couldn’t that woman have come in a mere minute sooner, before I made such a double-damned fool of myself telling that cur I’d still have him?”
“Sae he’s a cur now, is he?”
“The lowest, vilest—”
“I get yer drift, hinny, but it’s glad ye should be ye said all ye did tae him, a fine revenge, I’m thinking, if ye wanted revenge.”
“Is that some kind of male logic too complicated for the female mind? I didn’t get revenge, I got humiliated.”
“Nae, ye showed the mon what he lost in forsaking ye, a lass he dinna recognize, she’s sae bonny now, and his own ship tae command, which he’s long wanted. He’s likely kicking his own arse right about now, and it’s sure as he did wrong by ye that he’ll be regretting what he lost fer many a year.”
“The ship maybe, but not me. He’s got a job he’s proud of, beautiful children, a lovely wife—”
“Lovely, aye, but she’s no’ Georgina Anderson, owner of the Amphitrite, part owner of the Skylark Line, though the puir lass has nae say in the running of that, just an equal share in the profits, and they say she’s the bonniest lass on the eastern seaboard.”
“Is that all?”
“Ye dinna sound verra impressed.”
“I’m not. That girl might be a bonny lass now, but she wasn’t always, and what good are her fair looks when she’s wasted the best years of her life.” A rude sound interrupted her, but she chose to ignore it. “And she might have money of her own, a right comfortable amount, but just now she doesn’t even have enough to buy her passage home. Her looks and means don’t change the fact that she’s a fool, and stupid, and gullible, an ill judge of character, and not very smart, and—”
“Ye’re repeating yerself. Stupid and not very smart—”
“Don’t interrupt.”
“I will when all ye’re doing is blathering. Now yer tears have stopped. Start looking on the bright side.”
“There isn’t one.”
“Aye, there is. Ye wouldna have been happy wi’ such a low, vile…cur, was it?”
Her lip trembled a little trying to smile, but not quite making it. “I appreciate what you’re doing, Mac, but it’s not helping with all that I’m feeling right now. I just want to go home, and hope to God I never meet another Englishman with their oh-so-proper speech, their blasted unshakable composure, their faithless sons.”
“I hate tae be the one tae enlighten ye, hinny, but every country has its faithless sons.”
“Every country has its brick walls, too, but I wouldn’t marry one.”
“Marry a…Now ye’re blathering again, and what’s this fixation ye’re having wi’ brick walls, I’d like tae know?”
“Just take me home, Mac. Find us a ship, any ship. It doesn’t have to be an American vessel as long as it’s sailing for our part of the world and leaving soon, today preferably. You can use my jade ring to buy the passage.”
“Are ye daft, lass? Yer father gave ye that ring, brought it all the way from—”
“I don’t care, Mac,” she insisted, and she was now wearing the stubborn look he was beginning to really dread seeing. “Unless you’re willing to turn thief and steal the money, which I know you’re not, it’s the only thing we have that will buy us passage. I’m not willing to wait until it’s earned, I promise you. And besides, the ring can always be bought back when we get home.”
“It’s just this quickly ye decided tae come here, lass. Ye’re supposed tae learn from yer mistakes, no jump right in tae making the same ones.”
“If you’re preaching patience, you can forget it. I’ve had six years of patience, and that was my biggest mistake. I intend to practice impatience from now on.”
“Georgie…” he began warningly.
“Why are you arguing with me? Until we sail, you’re going to have a weeping woman on your hands. I thought you couldn’t abide female tears?”
Female stubbornness was far worse, Mac decided, so he gave up gracefully with a sigh. “When ye put it that way…”