I’d been pacing the waiting room floor for five hours. George sat at the end of a row of chairs with his head in his hands, in and out of sleep.

Andy stared out the window as she held Kimberly’s hand. The remaining members, short of Baker had fallen asleep. Baker paced the floor at the opposite side of the room.

I couldn’t sleep. Hell, I couldn’t relax. Not until I saw Abby.

We’d received two updates, both of which gave us no useful information, only that she was alive and fighting to stay alive. They had no idea what was wrong with her. I feared that lack of knowledge wasn’t in my – or in Abby’s – favor.

“Coffee?” I asked.

“No, thank you.” George looked up. “I’ve had so much I’m on the verge of a heart attack.”

I sat down beside him. “Yeah. Me, too.”

“I’ve prayed so much I don’t know what else to say,” he said. “It’s in His hands now.”

I spit out a laugh, and then regretted it. I didn’t want to be disrespectful to George, but praying seemed a little far-fetched. Abby didn’t need a prayer, she needed a competent doctor. I second-guessed my decision to drive to Scripps and wondered if I should have taken her elsewhere.

“Her parents are on their way,” George said. “Terrible this is how you’re going to meet them.”

“Sorry about that,” I said. “I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful about you praying. I just…”

He placed his hand on my shoulder. “Believe me, I understand.”

“If it works for you, keep it up.”

He offered a crumpled smile. “I will.”

I wondered about food poisoning, some type of parasite, or even if she might have had an allergic reaction but guessed the hospital’s staff would have already checked such things. We’d given them all the information we thought they could use about her recent health, and nothing seemed to help.

I wondered if she might have ingested something from the ocean on the day we surfed. While I continued to grasp at straws, George lowered his head into his cupped hands.

I didn’t need her in perfect health. I didn’t care if she had a fever. I just needed to see her. I wanted to give her the ring, lift her spirits, and have her pull out of the funk she was in. She was a fighter. She’d proven it at least once in her life, when she beat cancer.

I felt guilty for having recovered from my brain tumor. I would trade brain cancer for her health any day, and it sickened me that I couldn’t. That there wasn’t a way that I could fix her. It was my duty to fix her. I was her protector, and I couldn’t do my job.

With my eyes fixed on a flickering lamp in the distant parking lot, I sat with our engagement ring in my pocket and my heart in my throat. The pain of not being able to change anything enveloped me.

I wadded into a ball. Feeling small and incapable, I began to softly cry. After a moment, I closed my eyes. I needed to look rested when she saw me. I needed to be strong.

“Mister Reeves?”

“Mister Reeves?”

“Mister Reeves!”

I jumped from my seat. A doctor I didn’t recognize stood in front of us. I nudged George. “Someone’s here.”

He crossed his arms and raised his brows slightly. “Mister Reeves?”

“Porter Reeves, yes, Sir.” I shoved my hand into my left pocket and squeezed the ring in my hand. “What’s the latest, Doc?”

“Mister Reeves, we’ve done everything we can,” His gaze dropped. “I’m sorry--”

My face flashed hot with anger. “Everything you can?” I scoffed. “Do we need to take her somewhere else? What? You’re giving up? Where is she? I’ll take her somewhere else.”

“Mister Reeves.” He lifted his chin. “She’s gone. I’m sorry.”

“Gone?” I shouted. “What do you mean, gone? Gone where?”

He cleared his throat. “She’s passed.”

“Heaven help me,” George blubbered.

“Dead?” The word came out as a whisper. “You’re telling me she’s dead?”

He nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“She can’t be,” I cried. “I just brought her in here. We were in bed together, sleeping.” I shook my head. He was mistaken. He had the wrong patient in mind. “I’m talking about Abby Northrop. Five-two. Pale skin. Dark hair.”

I reached for him, but a hand stopped me. I yanked my arm free. “She came in with a fucking fever,” I bellowed. “A fever. You’ve got the wrong--”

He reached shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

A lump rocketed into my throat. I began to shake. Someone touched me. I fell into one of the chairs. I looked up at the doctor.

I swallowed hard. “Is she…she’s…dead?”

“Yes, Mister Reeves,” he said. “We’ve lost her. Again, I’m sorry.”

I was in an all too familiar place. This time, it was so very much worse. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t. There had to be a misunderstanding.

His mouth moved, but I heard nothing. A dull pain took one limb at a time, until my entire body went numb.

George placed his hand on my shoulder, but I felt nothing. He wept. The light denim of my jeans became dark with tears that dripped from my chin. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t reason. I was elsewhere.

Somewhere quiet. Where pain didn’t exist. Voices couldn’t be heard.

The doctor touched my shoulder again, and then turned away.

I stood over the gurney they’d placed her on. I wanted to take her hospital gown off, and replace it with one of her dresses, and her Converse sneakers.

Her skin was too pale. Much more so than normal.

I took her cold hand in mine. “I’m sorry, Baby,” I said, my voice quivering as I spoke. “I tried. I got here as fast as I could. I just…”

My legs turned to rubber.

George pulled me to my feet. As he steadied me, I continued. “I love you. With all my heart,” I sobbed. “I just…I love you.”

I traced my finger along her ring finger, where I’d failed to place the ring. I’d forever regret not having the courage to follow through with the proposal. Filled with regret, anger, and sorrow, I held her hand in mine.

“Mister Reeves,” A voice said. “We need to take her now. I’m sorry.”

I raised my right hand to silence him.

Then, I leaned over her, kissed her on the lips, and said my final words.

“Goodnight, Sweetheart. I love you.”

I shuffled toward the door, holding onto George’s arm for support. We stepped into the hallway and paused. As we both shed another tear for our loss, the doctor pushed the gurney past us.

My vision narrowed until all I could see was the doctor as he pushed Abby away. He reached the double doors at the end of the hallway, paused, and pushed a button on the wall. As he passed through the opening, going completely out of sight, what little faith I had in love vanished right along with him.