Chapter 24
As Scarlett eased through Limit’s bedroom door, she tried not to cringe when she thought about how freely she’d given herself to him…over and over.
Her entire chest felt like it was on fire from trying so hard not to cry.
As he closed the door, she sat down on the edge of his bed and vowed to herself that she wouldn’t get lost in her own head. It wouldn’t help him, her, either of them.
“Tell me what just happened,” Scarlett murmured.
Limit’s hands were clasped behind his head as he turned away from her.
His tanned skin was covered in sweat and blood, but she knew that he was used to that.
When she asked the question again, his hands fell to his sides for the barest of seconds before he slammed his fists against his bedroom door.
She jumped at the sound, but when he didn’t stop hitting the worn wood, she hurriedly rushed to his side.
Her palms met the hot skin of his lower back and he tensed.
“Limit, relax! Tell me what’s wrong,” She pleaded.
“Do you still love me?,” His husky voice asked.
Her mouth fell open as she imagined all of the things that she could say.
Everything that she could tell him.
But, nothing felt right apart from, “Yes.”
His palms were flattened against the door still, his knuckles bloody and bruised.
“How? How can you love someone like me? I’m a fuckin’ monster.”
She couldn’t deny that fact.
“Yes, you are.”
His shoulders fell at her words.
“When I was a little girl I always imagined falling in love with someone sweet and soft and romantic.”
He cursed under his breath.
“I was with Scott. He- he used to be all of those things. He used to be a good man, and along the way greed changed him. But, even when he had his hands on my body, I didn’t feel a thing.”
She ran her fingers along the underside of his torso and gently pressed her lips to his shoulder.
“When you touch me, something happens. Some part of me that I didn’t even know existed wakes up and it’s terrifying, Limit. It’s so fucking scary,” She admitted.
Her voice sounded hoarse even to her own ears, clogged with agony and tears.
Even though the man had done nothing but push her away, even though he’d done nothing but his best to keep her at arm’s length, she couldn’t hurt him the way he’d hurt her.
“I don’t want to scare you.”
“You don’t scare me. The idea of leaving this place and never feeling about someone else the way I feel about you? Trying to move on, marrying someone else, waking up next to another man who doesn’t make me feel half the things that you do? That scares me more than you ever could.”
He took a deep, shuddering breath before he let it out harshly.
“When I was in Afghanistan I did a lot of things I’m not proud of. At the time it was my job, but somewhere along the way, the lines blurred. I’m not used to having to take care of anyone but myself. I didn’t have the time. The military doesn’t give a shit if you have a family, or if your wife leaves you. When you asked me to give you a chance, all I was thinkin’ of was myself.”
His words were honest and hurtful.
“I understand.”
He slammed his palms against the door and turned to face her.
“I don’t want you to understand, I want you to be mad. I want you to yell at me, scream at me, for fuck’s sake! I deserve it!”
Her temper flared as she stared up at him, his face battered and his chest heaving.
She slapped her palms against his chest, injured arm be damned.
“Fine! You want me mad? You want me honest? I’m fucking pissed at you! I opened myself up to you and gave you all of me, and you pushed me away!,” She cried.
His nostrils flared.
“You think you’re the only one going through some stuff? Limit, my whole world is falling apart, and I needed you to anchor me. I needed you to tell me it was going to be okay!”
Limit grunted harshly as she stepped closer to him.
“I know how to take care of business. I killed Scott for you. That is what I know how to do, Scarlett.”
She slapped his cheek, hard, before she cupped both of his cheeks in her palms.
“I don’t want you to take care of business for me. I want you to want me the way I want you.”
His hot stare grazed over her face as he shook his head.
“That’s what I’m tryin to say. I do want you the way you want me.”
“Then show me. Hold me, kiss me, and for both of our sakes, stop pushing me away.”
Limit’s eyes closed as he gripped her waist.
“The first time I saw you, I knew you’d be different. I knew that you would be the one to fuck everything up for me, and you are. I went back to that bar hoping and dreading seein’ you again, Scarlett. Every ounce of me has yearned for you in a way that scares the shit out of even a hardened killer like me. What I want to give you and what I know how to give you are two very different things,” He admitted.
She felt the tears well up in her eyes.
“You almost killed Pierce because you thought I slept with Axel. Why?”
“I almost killed Pierce because he said he was next in line for your pussy, and I’d die before I let that fucker touch you,” He growled under his breath.
Understanding settled in her chest.
“You can’t be jealous of another man being with me if you aren’t willing to make that commitment.”
Limit’s expression told her that he knew that, too.
“Scarlett, I-,” He paused.
She stood on her tip toes and pressed her forehead against his.
“Tell me,” She said.
He lifted his hand and nudged her chin upwards, pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth.
“I fuckin’ love you,” He whispered.
The whispered sentiment wasn’t the one out of fairytales she’d always dreamt of. It wasn’t filled with promise or the taste of forever, but it meant more to her than any other declaration she’d ever received.
“I love you, too,” She cried.
He pressed his mouth against hers softly; tenderly.
Touching, seeking, hoping that she would kiss him back.
She did.
A sound she’d never heard before escaped his mouth as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
Her side was burning underneath his touch, but it was nothing compared to the need flooding her system.
“I’m so sorry I lied to you. I’ve never had someone believe in me like you do, and it scares me. I never wanna let you down,” He choked out.
“The only way you’ll let me down is if you don’t let me in. I can’t do this halfway with you. I have to have all of you, and you have to believe me when I tell you that I won’t hurt you.”
He kissed her again, a groan tugging at her mouth.
“I know that you won’t. But, what if one day you change your mind? This life ain’t for everyone, and I know you’re used to better.”
Scarlett ran her fingers through his hair.
She tasted the salt of his sweat on her tongue.
“Not better, different.”
She ran a palm over the area where his heart was pounding.
“I did some research. You know what a battle buddy is, right?”
He nodded.
“When I was a little girl I imagined growing up, getting caught up in a whirlwind romance, living in a big house on a hill. I imagined babies and a big wedding and a husband who was home every night to watch TV with me. Do you want to know what I imagine now?,” She asked.
He nodded.
“Now I imagine barbecues with the club. Midnight rides on the back of your bike. Lot parties where we can dance and make out like two horny teenagers. I imagine Ox walking me down the aisle and hopefully, one day, you and me having a little baby with your grey eyes and my spunky attitude.”
He didn’t say anything for a long while.
“I want to give you that. I want to give you everything you want, Scarlett.”
That meant more to her than anything else.
“Heartbreak is like a throbbing ache inside you, Limit. At times you’ll feel sweet relief, if only for a moment…and others the pain is so unbearable you’d rather die than feel one. more. pang. But, you know what? Love is a choice. When you love someone, you choose to love them exactly as they are. If you can’t love me exactly as I am, then I’d rather welcome the heartbreak than run from it. I love you as you are. You don’t have to hide from me, and I don’t want you to. True, this life isn’t for everyone, but even if you and I aren’t together, I’m still in it. My father is the president of your club! If I want to get to know him, then I’ll still be privy to this lifestyle,” She argued.
He trembled as he swept her hair over her shoulder and followed the curve of her waist until his fingers were probing against her wound.
“When I saw you bleeding out on your apartment floor, I panicked. I hadn’t felt like that since the war, and I never want to see you hurtin’ like that. I didn’t know what to do. I told you that I couldn't love you because I thought it would be safer for you if I wasn’t in your life. Bein’ with a man like me comes with a price, and I’m not willing to lose you.”
“You aren’t going to lose me unless you choose to do so.”
He sighed with frustration and maybe sadness when he nodded.
“I shouldn’t have compared you to Rayna or Esme. That wasn’t fair, and I fuckin’ know it. I love you because you’re different. I wouldn’t change anything about you, Scarlett,” He said.
As he glanced up at her from beneath his long lashes, she saw regret in his eyes.
She felt it, too.
“You know I would do it all over again, right?”
“Do what?”
“I’d still take a chance on you at the bar that night. I’d still give myself to you. I’d still love you, and lose you. You’re worth it to me.”
“Are you sure?,” He asked.
Even though he had a brave face, she could tell that he needed to be reassured. That he still didn’t believe that she could love him. That because of all the things he did overseas, he was terrified that he was irreparably damaged as a man and as a lover, and that she would see right through him.
“I’m sure. I wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t. You hurt me, bad. I didn’t deserve it and I won’t let you hurt me that way again,” She said roughly.
Her face was wet with tears and her tongue felt tied, but she knew that they needed to clear the air between them. Just like she needed to be honest with him.
“I know you didn’t, and I’m so sorry. This is me askin’ you for a chance. Askin’ you to give us a chance,” He said earnestly.
It was what she needed to hear.
What she needed from him.
“Okay, Limit. But, you need to know that at the end of the week Ox and I are leaving. My mother isn’t doing well and I need to go home to be with her,” She said.
He looked shaken, but he only nodded.
“Okay.”
She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and kissed his chin.
“We didn’t start this off very wisely. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to push you, either. I guess I just couldn’t understand why you would want to throw away what we have when it could be something great.”
“I didn’t! I don’t, baby. I think I need some time to make myself right. I need time to fix what’s broken in my head so I don’t hurt you again. I need to prove to you that I won’t ever take advantage of your kindness again. Does that make sense?”
She was back to crying because what he said was true and made perfect sense- and she’d never expected it out him.
“I do. I need time to come to terms with everything that’s happened, too. I think this time apart will do us some good.”
He buried one hand in her hair and tipped her head all the way back as he placed an open-mouthed kiss against her neck.
“I want to spend this week together getting to know each other, the right way. I want to be there for you before you go home to your mama. Will you let me?”
She nodded tearfully.
“Yes.”
His fingers began to lift her shirt upwards, his nails scraping against the curve of her spine.
“I don’t want anythin’ between us right now. Will you let me make love to you, Scarlett?”
Will you let me make love to you?
Would she let him make love to her?
Scarlett was a strong woman, but even she couldn’t refuse that request.
“I’ll die if you don’t,” She admitted.
As he swept her into his arms and laid her out gently across his bed, she felt complete.
She felt loved.
She felt at home.
Except, Limit didn’t take his clothes off. He simply removed hers and hooked her knees over his shoulders as he kneeled before her at the end of the bed.
“Limit? What are you doing?,” She asked.
As he trailed the tips of his fingers along the insides of her knees, he leaned forward to kiss her soft skin.
“You’re hurt. I’m makin’ love to you.”
She pointed out to him that he was still dressed, and he pinned her to the bed with a molten stare.
“That's right, princess. I’m makin’ love to you…with my mouth.”