CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Acan wasn’t sure how he’d gotten there, but he found himself standing inside the large empty building where he’d been with Margarita last night. For a man with so few memories to know that, for as long as he lived, there would be no day worse than this said a lot.
He looked down at his clothes covered in blood and damp with seawater. The only thing he could think about was scrubbing every inch of his soul clean from the pain inhabiting his body.
“Belch! What the hell are you doing here?” His sister stomped toward him. “And what the hell happened to your—”
“She’s dead,” he muttered, trying with everything he had not to cry. It didn’t work. “She’s fucking dead. Why the fuck is she dead?”
“Who? Who’s dead?” His sister grabbed his hands.
“The car went over the cliff, and Margarita just…” He sobbed, covering his face. “We hit the rocks.”
“Oh fuck. Please tell me you’re joking.”
“No.” He placed his hands over his chest. “I can’t breathe.” He couldn’t think or make sense of his existence.
“Ohmygods.” His sister wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He pushed her away.
“Make me forget again,” he yelled, pointing his finger in her face. “Erase her from my mind.”
“Acan,” she whispered, “I can’t. It’s not right. You need to stop and mourn and try to make sense of this. Otherwise it will only haunt—”
“Fuck you! This is all your fault. I should remove your head for this, you fucking fool.”
Acan felt the bitter darkness crawling inside him, spreading like a virus. He’d already felt indifferent to everything, but for a few short hours, he’d had her. Margarita. Now there was no reason left to fight the wickedness threatening to consume him.
“Stop right there, brother.” Forgetty drew a breath. “You don’t mean that, and you vowed never to hurt me again. So while I can forgive you once for taking my head, a second time would seal your fate. Your love for me, your sister, should be sufficient to overcome anything this cruel world can throw at you. If it’s not, then I can only question your loyalty.”
Acan felt the darkness retreating but only temporarily. He looked down at his feet. “I’m going to have to leave. I’m not safe to be around.”
“Where will you go, Acan?” she hissed. “New Year’s Eve is only a few weeks away and there isn’t a corner on this planet or in our world safe from you.”
He blinked. “Then you will have to kill me.”
“With what purpose? You’ll only come right back, evil, destructive. And may I remind you that in your human form, you’re less harmful. If you die, you’ll be able to return to our realm and your powers will only be stronger.”
Godsdammit, she was right. But he simply didn’t care. Let the world sink into abyss. All he wanted was Margarita, and she was dead.
“What purpose is there of being a god if I cannot pick and choose who lives or dies, or if I cannot save my mate? Why the fuck does any of this matter?” He could not stop the tears flowing just like he could not stop his anger.
“I don’t know, Acan. I really don’t. But it is not our place to ask why. We are here simply to live and help them.” She pointed to her side, to no one and everyone all at the same time. “And if we are lucky, someone out there will see something great in us and love us and help us not go insane while we live for eternity.”
“I found her. And now she is gone.” The connection he’d felt didn’t lie. She had been the one.
“You might find another if you give it time. But you will never know if you allow this horrible tragedy to consume you. Please, if you give up, Acan, the path will lead to a very dark place for everyone.”
Acan stared at his sister, struggling to be the man, the god she needed him to be. In a time like this, with so little left to cling to, he found it impossible. He just wanted Margarita back. It was strange to feel so much for someone he had so few memories of. But he did. And now he just wanted his pain to end.
“I’m sorry, sister. But if I help this world continue, it only means I will have to endure an eternity of suffering. I prefer to flip and let it all end.”
“No. You can’t do that.”
“This god is all out of compassion.”
The Goddess of Forgetfulness slid her cell from her pocket, ready to call the emergency mailbox that would summon her brethren. They had to be told. But in the back of her mind, she also knew it would do little good. If Acan flipped, there was no way to stop him from hurting millions of people. Not prison. Not taking away his mortal shell. They might minimize some damage if he were incapacitated, but the spike in his powers on New Year’s wasn’t something he controlled. That was the issue.
Godsdammit. Why did I listen to Cimil? Had Forgetty kept her hands to herself and not tried to wipe Margarita’s mind, none of this would’ve happened. Had Cimil known the outcome?
Of course she did. She always knew. But why would she want this to happen? This of all things?
Why? Why? She replayed the moment where it all went so terribly wrong. She’d spoken to Margarita near the bathroom and convinced her to give Acan the chance he deserved. Margarita ran out to the dance floor, looking for Acan, and found him dirty dancing with some woman. From there, it all went south.
Forgetty toggled through her contacts and dialed the only number she could ever call in a case like this. “Hi, it’s me. There’s been an accident—Acan’s mate is dead. I’m going to need you to break the law and deliver a letter.”
She listened.
“Yes, that law. Yes, I know what’s at risk, but you owe me, and you know I will cover your tracks.”
She listened again.
“Thank you.” She ended the call and went up to the office on the second floor, getting a piece of paper and a pen from the drawer.
She sat down at the desk and thought very carefully about what she would say.
Dear Margarita…