Zade

Stepping off the airplane I could just about pull a Pope and kiss the ground. I fucking hate flying. Call me crazy but being in a tin can manned by some jerk-off I don’t know, as we hurdle thousands of miles above the Earth’s surface, just doesn’t appeal. And don’t even get me started on the cesspool of pathogens in the recycled air.

I spot my suitcase coming around the carousel and grab it, also grabbing the one that seems to belong to the frail older lady beside me who can’t quite reach.

“Thank you, so much.”

“It’s my pleasure, ma’am,” I assure her with a polite nod before heading off in search of my ride. 

Two weeks ago when I decided not to renew my contract with the Marines I called my best friend to ask for a place to crash for a week or so. Thane and I met in the service when we were both new recruits. When we discovered that we shared a common secret- namely a love of cock- our bond was cemented. He became my confidant, my right hand man, and an outlet for sexual frustration while we were stationed in Afghanistan together for a year.

I can't say that our history didn't factor into my calling him. I figured if my life was going to hell I might as well get laid.

I step out of the airport and scan the parking lot until my eyes zero in on him. Thane’s leaning against his car like he hasn’t got a care in the world. Fuck, I envy him. Maybe it was a mistake to stay in the service so long. Maybe it was a mistake to leave at all. 

I shove the annoying, contradicting thoughts aside and stride toward the best friend, I haven’t seen in years.

“Well if it isn’t the Kraken.” A smile spreads across Thane’s face when he hears my voice. He looks up and gives me a small wave, as he pushes himself off the car to come greet me.

“It’s fucking good to see you, man,” Thane says as he pulls me into a tight hug and claps me on the back.

“Likewise.” He releases me and pops his trunk open. I toss my bags in before making my way around to the passenger side. “Thanks for letting me crash with you for a few days.”

“No problem. Brother’s for life, right?” Thane takes one hand off the wheel to offer me a fist bump.

As he drives my eyes roam over his body. I wasn’t sure if Thane would be slacking on his fitness routine since leaving the Marines, but it certainly doesn’t look like he’s missed a single day at the gym.

“I hope not too brotherly,” I admit as my mind travels back to all the late nights the two of us spent sneaking off to somewhere private to fool around.

A blush creeps into Thane’s face and he bites down on his lower lip as he casts me a glance out of the corner of his eye.

“Um, about that...I’m seeing someone. Well, not actually seeing him, but I want to be seeing him. He’s staying with me right now. I should’ve said something sooner, sorry if I made things weird.”

Duh, of course Thane isn’t single. Now I feel like an idiot for not even asking.

“Dude, I’m the one who just made things weird. Okay, we’re going to pretend that never happened and you’re going to tell me all about your man. What’s his name? How’d you meet?”

Thane lets out a relieved breath and his forced, uncomfortable posture melts.

“His name is Madden, and we met last month. It’s the worst ever ‘how we met’ story, to be honest. We met at a nightclub and before I could work up the game to take him home with me, there was a shooting. He was shot three times.”

“Holy fuck.”

“Yeah, it was crazy. He’s okay, or getting there anyway. He’s staying with me while he recovers because his place was a fifth floor walk-up, and he’s got a bum leg now.”

“So, you're not dating but you want to be?”

“Yeah.” Thane’s face takes on a dreamy quality that can only mean one thing.

“You’ve slept with him, though.”

“Only once. He’s still healing physically and emotionally so I didn’t want to push him, and he said he wasn’t ready for anything right now.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around, you’re a great guy,” I assure him.

I’m not just blowing smoke up his ass. Thane is one of the best guys I know. Not that I want Thane as a boyfriend. You’d think I would, since the sex was phenomenal and he’s also my best friend. I could never picture a relationship with him, though.

“So, are you going to tell me why you didn’t re-up? I was sure you were a lifer.”

“I thought so too, but...things change.” Things change. What a deceivingly innocuous phrase.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Thane offers.

Memories and pain swirl in my mind and steal my breath.

“Not so much. Maybe later.”

“That’s pretty much where I was at when I left, too. You’ll figure it out. And, until then you’ll take my bed and I’m sleeping on the couch.”

“No way, I’ll sleep on the couch,” I argue.

“My house, my rules. I’m sleeping on the couch.”

“Alright. Thanks, man.”

“Anytime, you know that.”

About twenty minutes later we pull up in front of a nice, little house in a middle-class neighborhood.

“Nice place.”

“Thanks,” Thane smiles with pride as he gazes at his home.

We head inside and Thane shows me where to put my bags. I hear Thane greeting someone, I’m assuming Madden, and asking how his day has been.

Longing hits me in the gut. I want this. I want a place to come home to at the end of every day. I want a partner, or two, to greet me and tell me about their day. I want to build a life.

Once my stuff is in Thane’s bedroom I head back downstairs and Thane introduces me to Madden. I can’t blame Thane for his interest. Madden is gorgeous in an approachable and unassuming way. Something about him just screams ‘protect me’, which I’m sure Thane can’t resist.

I take a seat on the couch and strike up a conversation with Madden about his career as a tattoo artist, while Thane goes to grab us some drinks.

Just as I’m giving myself a pat on the back for befriending Thane’s kind of boyfriend, Thane walks back into the room, and when he turns to hand Madden a drink the firm globes of his ass enter my field of view. I’m a twenty-nine year old guy who happens to love a man with a great ass, and I haven’t been laid in ages excuse the hell out of me if I take a quick peek.

Madden’s glare in my direction tells me I’m totally busted. So much for making friends.

Being in an unfamiliar bed never fails to put my nerves on edge. I guess that's what almost a decade in the Marines will get you, a mind that's never at peace.

Giving up hope of falling asleep without effort, I fling the covers aside and decide to go grab a glass of water. Maybe take a quick walk around the block once or twice.

It's not the sole fault of the strange bed and unfamiliar bedroom that has me tossing and turning. In the last two weeks I've uprooted my life without considering the consequences. 

I thought I'd be a career Marine, which had always been the plan. But recent incidents caused me to reconsider when my contract came up for renewal.

I couldn't do it anymore. I’d lost my trust in the system. The problem is I quit without knowing what I could do with the rest of my life.

Pulling on my jeans that I'd left discarded on the floor I step out of the room and head downstairs.

Am I the biggest moron in the world? Who leaves a stable, honorable job with no back-up plan?

As I make my way down the stairs in the dark house, the sound of heavy breathing punctuated by quiet moans reaches my ears.

Oh shit.

I stop in my tracks and hold my breath, not wanting to disturb my buddy getting laid.

“Fuck, Madden.”  I hear Thane whisper and my dick decides to perk up and take notice.

I'd give my left nut for a chance to join Thane and his ‘not boyfriend’, Madden, on the couch. My motto has always been “the more, the merrier”. However, I realize that many people don't share my sentiments.

When I was younger I thought I was weird for daydreaming about having a relationship with multiple partners. When I was in college, majoring in psychology, I decided that for myself the desire likely had something to do with my parent’s lack of affection. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t bad parents. A lot of people have it way worse than I ever did. They just weren’t the hugging type. When I was fourteen my mom actually said to me ‘you know we love you even if we don’t hug you, right?’ So yeah, I crave physical affection, the more the better.

“Tell me you're mine.”  Madden demands of Thane, and I know my presence wouldn't be welcome.

This is a jealousy fuck. I was eyeing his man all day, lamenting the fact that I'd never again get to enjoy the powerful thrusts of his impressive dick in my ass. I'll take friendship over nothing with Thane. It's not like I'm in love with him or anything. But it's always sad to lose out on a fantastic lay.

As quietly as possible I tiptoe through the dark, past the couch where they’re canoodling. When I make it outside I let out the breath I was holding and tilt my gaze up to the massive night sky. Taking a deep breath I let the cool evening air fill my lungs.

Fuck I could use a cigarette.

I haven’t smoked in nearly a decade, but every once in a while the craving will hit me like I quit yesterday. It’s most often when I’m drinking or feeling particularly introspective.

I realize I didn’t think this through very well as it occurs to me that I’m standing outside in nothing but a pair of pants. No shoes, no shirt...great start to civilian life, huh?

So, instead of the walk I’d planned on, I sit down on the porch and lean back to look up at the stars and enjoy the feeling for being an insignificant speck in the universe.

 

As I sit down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in hand, I notice a hint of hostility lingering in Madden's expression toward me. I thought the late night play date would've dispelled his insecurities about my relationship with Thane. I guess not.

It's a shame, for a few minutes yesterday we were getting along great. I thought I may have made a new friend. Then, I accidentally started checking Thane out. In my defense, he was sending out all sorts of ‘fuck me’ pheromones. My brain knew they weren't for me, but try telling my dick that. Plus, there's that pesky other side of my brain insisting that sharing is caring and there's no reason I should be left out.

Maybe I should add finding a boyfriend or two to my to-do list. Right under ‘get a place’, and ‘figure out what I want to be when I grow up’.

This morning Thane and Madden seem to be a lot more touchy-feely than they had been when I arrived yesterday. I’m guessing that Madden’s jealousy of Thane’s and my past shook something loose in their blossoming relationship. I’ll have to remind Thane to thank me for that later.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay while I’m at work?” Thane asks Madden, who responds by rolling his eyes.

“Go to work and stop worrying about me. If I need anything I’ll call Adam or Royal, or I’ll be a fucking adult and do it myself.”

Thane holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Alright, have a good day then.” Thane gives Madden a quick kiss and then pats me on the shoulder before heading out to work.

“So…” Madden shifts in his seat and looks over at me.

“So…” I nod in agreement. Well, this is awkward. I notice the tribal ink covering both his arms and then I remember that he’d mentioned yesterday that he’s a tattoo artist. “Hey, I was thinking of getting a new tattoo, you able to recommend someone for me?”

Madden’s eyes light up and he sits up straighter in his seat.

“Oh I know the perfect guy for you.” His tone is so devious I almost expect him to end the statement with an ‘evil plan’ laugh. “We can go this morning if you want. The shop is usually slow on weekday mornings, so I’m sure he’ll be able to get you right in.”

“Cool. Is it okay if I finish my coffee and have a shower first?”

“Of course. You can let me know whenever you’re ready to go. I was thinking of getting some new ink myself, so this’ll be perfect.”

Madden gets up from the table, and with the use of his crutch makes his way down the hall to the living room. I pull out my phone and start searching through job posting sites to see if anything strikes my fancy, while I finish my coffee.