Chapter Eleven
Charli let herself in and headed straight for the shower. As she bathed, she thought about what she planned to do and how to go about asking Grady to join her. She hadn’t come up with a plan by the time she was finished, but she decided to let it go. The words would come when needed.
Rather than dress to seduce, she opted for comfort and put on a pair of soft jeans, a tank top, and bike boots. Charli didn’t bother with a lot of makeup and did nothing more to her hair than comb it.
It took a good half hour to reach Grady’s, and the moment she turned onto the drive leading to the house, she was filled with a whole new set of questions about Grady Judd.
The moment she parked her bike, the front door opened and Grady walked out to meet her
“This is your house?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, damn, Grady, I didn’t know you were a rich boy.”
“I’m not.”
“Oh yeah? Well, this house says different.”
“It was left to me by my grandfather.”
“Wow. Some grandpa.”
“So do you want to stand here looking at it or come inside?”
“Smartass.” She took the hand he offered and walked with him. The house was one of those massive plantation-style homes, with two stories plus a third level with four big dormer windows across the front. It boasted a wraparound porch on both floors, large columns bigger than she could reach around as supports, and was pristine white with dark shutters.
Black rattan furniture with deep wine colored cushions decorated the porch, and ceiling fans sent the night air wafting down. Tastefully hidden lights in the shrubbery around the house provided illumination that was not intrusive, but rather gave a romantic air to the scene.
Grady opened the door and held it for her. “I have steaks to go on the grill, but thought we could take a swim if you want.”
“You have a pool?”
“I do.”
He led her through the house to a huge covered patio. Beyond it was an in-ground pool complete with a waterfall and an outdoor shower. Stacks of thick towels waited beside chaise lounges and on a table by the shower.
“Wow.” She looked around in amazement and a bit of envy. “You sure you’re not a spoiled rich boy?”
“I’m sure I’m not spoiled.” Grady gestured toward the chaise lounges. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine, thanks.”
“Swim?” He walked over and sat down beside her.
“I didn’t bring a suit.” Charli made a bit more room for him, then pulled off her boots and socks.
“You don’t need one.” Grady leaned in and grazed her lips with his.
“You just wanna see me naked,” she teased and nipped lightly on his bottom lip.
“Oh, you got that right.” Grady’s hand moved up her leg slowly.
Charli put her hand over his. As much as she wanted him, she also wanted something from him and she had to secure his word before she let him touch her.
“I need to ask you for a favor and it’s a big one.”
“What kind of favor?”
“I’m going to take Juanita back to Mexico. The government is demanding she be returned and the Chief said we have to comply. But I don’t trust the law there as far as I can spit. I’m afraid I’ll be taking her back to be killed, so I decided that rather than turn her over, I’m going to convince her to tell me who she’s working for. Once I know who it is, I can find him, figure out where he has her family, and set them free.
“Then I can take Juanita somewhere else. I still have some contacts in Honduras. Maybe I can get her work there, a fresh start.”
“And where do I come in?”
“I need someone with me I can trust—someone who can do what needs to be done if the situation arises.”
“You’re asking me to break a lot of laws, you realize that, don’t you?”
“I do. And you can say no. I hope you won’t, but I’ll understand if you do. Either way, I’m going.”
“Tell me why and I’ll consider it.”
“Because whoever is running her will kill her family and I can’t let that happen.”
“That sounds good and I’m sure you mean it, but it’s more than that, so unless you tell me all of it, the answer is no.”
Charli got up and walked over to the edge of the pool, crossing her arms and staring into the water. She didn’t discuss her past. Not with anyone. It served no purpose and regardless of what the shrinks said, it didn’t ease a damn thing.
“You said you need someone you can trust.” Grady’s voice was soft in her ear, and his hands, when he placed them on top of her shoulders, were warm. “Then trust me with the truth.”
She shook her head, not trusting her voice. Something inside screamed for her to just open her mouth and let it out, tell him of the demons that haunted not just her sleep but also every waking moment.
Redemption. It was redemption she wished for, redemption she sought, and redemption she didn’t believe she was worthy of.
“Charli, let me in.”
Charli never intended to do that, she didn’t intend to speak at all and yet she heard her voice. “I can’t let another child die on my watch. I can’t be haunted by the soul of another innocent I failed. I can’t do it anymore, Grady.”
He turned her to face him and she saw compassion in his expression. Seeing hate or contempt would have been easier. Compassion robbed her of strength and her eyes filled with tears.
“Jakarta. It was in Jakarta. The team was led into a trap. All but two escaped, and they were being held with women and children from a local school. The only way in was to pose as health workers, but they wouldn’t allow men. So, it was me and two other women, enlisted grunts who’d gotten an unlucky posting.”
Charli turned away and stared once more at the water. It all rushed back and she could feel it around her. Smell it and hear it until she was more in that world than the one where she now stood.
“We were supposed to ascertain the location of the hostages and be ready to act when the air strike hit. We were there for nearly three weeks before the strike was sent in, and by that time, there was a far larger force present in the village than before. Our ground personnel took heavy casualties. They couldn’t make it to us so we had the take matters into our own hands.”
She fell silent, seeing it all unfold in her mind. “What happened?” Grady’s voice was soft, like a whisper that floated in on the wind.
“I killed everyone I could. I shot and stabbed and clubbed my way to the hostages, only to find them dead in their cells with their throats slit. All I could do then was try to get the women and children out.”
“Did you?”
“All but two women and one little girl.” Saying those words took her strength from her. She’d held it in for three long years, the horror and grief. The loss. Now it overpowered her and drove her to her knees. Literally. She fell to her knees and sank down on her heels, lowering her hands to the pavement and shuddering as emotion took control.
“She was beautiful. Ani. Five years old with a smile that could light the world, and a heart as big as the ocean. She…” A sob tore through her words and she choked it back, speaking brokenly. “She loved me and I let her down. This… this monster had her. He shouted for me to put down my weapon or he would blow her brains out. I did. I—”
Charli fell forward and curled into a fetal position, her body quaking with the force of her sobs. “He laughed. He laughed as she screamed for me to come for her, as she reached for me. He laughed and he put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger. I—I watched—saw the life go out of her eyes.”
She felt Grady beside her, felt him gather her into his arms and hold her as she cried. Charli clung to him, wishing his strength was enough to wash the horror of that memory from her mind. But nothing would erase that. She would carry the look on Ani’s face, the sound of her voice crying out to Charli. She’d carry that to her grave and then she’d rot in hell for failing to save that beautiful child.
“I failed her. I wasn’t good enough and she died because of me.” She looked up at Grady. “I loved her so much”
Grady got it. All too well. He’d seen his share of death. Hell, he’d seen more than his share and he knew the toll it took on a person’s spirit. But the death of an innocent, a child—it was the worst horror of all and one he didn’t know if he’d be man enough to bear that if it happened on his watch.
He also knew that unless Charli found absolution, she would never be happy and would spend the rest of her life blaming herself for the child’s death. He couldn’t live with that, so he made a spur of the moment decision.
“I can help you, Charli.”
She looked at him in confusion. “How?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“With your life?”
“Yes.”
“With your death?”
Her brows lowered in a confused frown. “I don’t understand.”
Grady slid over to the edge of the pool and into the water without bothering to remove his clothes. He then held out his hand. She looked at him for a few seconds, then took his hand and slid into the water with him.
“Do you want to see her? To ask her forgiveness?” he asked.
“More than anything.”
“Then you’ll have to trust me.”
“To do what?”
“Bring you back.”
“What’re you going to do?”
“You know.”
He saw realization dawn in her eyes. It was followed by fear and then by courage. She nodded. “Do it.”
“You’ll want to fight back, but I’m stronger, so once I start I won’t stop.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure?”
Charli took his face in her hands. “I don’t want to live this way anymore. So live or die, yes, I’m sure. I want peace.”
He pulled her to him and claimed a kiss. It wasn’t one of passion or need, but one of genuine emotion. Grady was shocked through and through to realize that he wasn’t doing this just for her. He was doing it for himself because he was falling for Charli and wanted to be the hero that saved her from the hell that imprisoned her.
When they parted, she looked into his eyes. “If I survive this, I’m coming for you, Grady Judd and you know what I mean.”
“When you survive this, I’ll be waiting.”
He acted before she had time to realize his intent, whirled her around, grabbed both wrists to yank them behind her and force her over. Her head went under the water and he shoved her deeper.
Grady expected her to fight. When she didn’t, it shocked him. He felt her let go and turned her over under the water, watching as her mouth opened and then the way her eyes widened and her body tensed.
Seconds later, the tension vanished and that look came over her eyes, the one he recognized all too well. It was the look of eyes without life. Grady pulled her up, into his arms and carried her out of the pool. He placed her on the concrete and knelt down beside her. Bringing someone back from death after drowning wasn’t new to him. He’d done it countless times during training. He’d had it done to him.
But he’d never done it for this reason. For the second time in his life, he used the ability he’d inherited from his grandmother and he called upon the dead. “Ani. Hear me. Charli is in between worlds, one foot in life and the other in death. She needs you. She needs forgiveness. If you love her, then please save her.”
Grady closed his eyes and willed himself to that place—that zone of nothingness between the living and the dead. At first, he felt nothing aside from himself, but then there was another presence. A child.
“Where is Charlee?”
“She’s here, Ani. Call to her.”
“Charlee? Where are you? I wanna see you.”
Grady felt Charli’s presence. “Ani?”
“Charlee!”
Grady could see ghostly forms taking shape. A small form darted by, becoming more clear. The child leapt into Charli’s arms, hugging her tightly.
“Ani.” Charli sank to her knees, hugging the little girl. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I wanted to save you.”
“I love you, Charlee. You not have to be sorry. Me fine. Me be with you again, okay?”
“How?”
“You has to believe, Charlee. And love. Okay?”
“Okay, okay.” Charli’s words were choked by tears. “I love you, Ani. Always.”
“Me too, Charlee. You my bestest friend. Now you go. Go with the big man. He takes good care of you. Me too. I always take care of you.”
“I love you, Ani. Please forgive me for not saving you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Charlee. You just love me. It what bring me here. It's what will bring me back to you.”
“But how?”
“You see. One day. Go now, Charlee. We have to leave this place. Go back with big man. You see me again. I promise. I love you.”
The child’s form faded, leaving the ghostly shape of Charli, slumped and seeming so small that Grady mentally reached for her. “Time to choose, Charli. Live or die?”
She looked up at him. “Am I really forgiven? Is this real?”
“Do you want it to be?”
“More than anything.”
“Then come back, Charli. Let me bring you back.”
“Yes. Save me, Grady.”
Grady snapped to and set into action. Chest compressions, pinch her nose, breathe into her mouth. Chest compressions. “Come on, Charli. Come on—“
She spewed water and bolted into a sitting position, hacking and wheezing as her lungs expelled water. When she finally had her breath, she grabbed him by the shirt. “Did I—did you—what was that?”
“Forgiveness. If you’re willing.”
“If I’m willing?”
“She knew you weren’t at fault, Charli. She loved you and knew you loved her. You’ve been beating yourself up for something you didn’t do and couldn’t change and it’s time to stop. Carry the pain and the loss and the grief of what you lost, but don’t carry the guilt. You didn’t kill her. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I want to. I do. I want to, Grady, but I don’t know if I can.”
“Well, maybe you just need a big guy to help you out. Isn’t that what Ani said? Let the big guy help you?”
She smiled for the first time and threw her arms around him. “This seems like a dream, a quite vivid, but unbelievable dream.”
“Feels pretty real to me. And you feel cold. We need to get you inside into a hot shower and then into bed.”
“Grady I don’t think I—“
“I didn’t say anything about sex, honey. Just bed. Tonight I just want to hold you. If that’s okay.”
“It’s very okay.”
“Then let’s get you inside.” He stood, and scooped her up into his arms, a feat she admired since she was definitely no lightweight.
But Grady was solid like a mountain and seemed as invincible, and for the first time since she was a child, she remembered what it felt like to be safe in someone’s embrace.
She allowed him to undress her, put her into the shower, dry her off, and carry her to bed. He pulled her close and put her head on his chest with one arm around her back and the other hand on top of hers as it rested on his chest.
“You’re safe now, Charli. I’ve got you.”
Oh God. She realized how right his words were. He did have her. Hook, line and sinker. She was in love with Grady Judd.
The man who killed her.
The man who saved her.