I don’t know how we’re going to get through this. Move forward. Be together. None of it. We’re all so fucked up, not a single one of us can see past our own inabilities.

I’m sitting on the deck of our hotel room while Dimitri and Danika sleep a little more, waiting on a call from King. Lilith and baby Holden are holding their own at home, and I know bossman is trying not to show his stress.

His fear.

Before this mess, I was Lilith’s guard. Her confidant. So often she told me her own anxieties and misgivings about bringing a baby into our world. Raising a child in our life isn’t going to be easy.

The phone vibrating beside me is loud in the early morning light as I notice it’s not King’s name flashing, but Lil’s.

“Little dove, how are you?” She claims to hate the nickname Carver gave her, but she always giggles.

“I’m perfect, Daniel. Holden’s perfect.” Her happiness radiates over the line.

“And King?” I try my best to stifle my own laughter when she growls.

“King is overbearing, hard-headed, annoying, and such a perfect father.” She pauses a moment before continuing. “Talk to me, Daniel. You were barely home for a minute before you went jaunting halfway across the world. How are you?”

Confused. Weak. Desperate.

But I don’t tell her those things. Even if she likely knows. She and I have a special kind of bond because of our roles. We have a trust with each other that is unshakeable.

“Tell me about her, Daniel.” Right to the heart of the matter.

“She’s hurting.”

“So hold her.”

“I think I love her.”

“Then tell her.”

“What if I’m not enough?” Guess I’m confessing anyways. Fuck.

“Then she doesn’t deserve you. Or Dimitri. The two of you are a packaged deal. We all know it, Daniel. You guys think you’ve hidden your feelings and desires so well, but us girls? We’ve seen it, all of it. I want you happy, Danny-boy. If she makes you happy, then you’re more than enough.”

I almost hate how often she’s right.

“Thanks, Lil.”

“You’re like a brother, Daniel. If she hurts you, I’ll break her neck.” I laugh at that because even though she’s likely kidding and trying to give me the boost I need, I know how serious she can be. There’s been more than once over the past year that she has ordered a death. It’s not usually because someone broke a heart, though. Generally, it’s because the system failed a victim, and someone needed to meet their maker.

“Don’t let them push you away, Daniel, not ever.”

“I won’t, Lil.”

“Good. King and Luther are here, they’d like to talk to you.”

That’s never good.

“Danny-boy?” Luth gets a kick out of calling me that for some damn reason.

“I’m here, boss.”

“Viktor is getting pissed about his sister not being home. Care to explain?” King asks, his tone authoritative rather than inquisitive.

“Executive decision, bossman. She’s gotta heal before we take the long flight. We also need to know there’s not going to be any flack when we depart or land. Once that’s guaranteed, we’ll be home.”

“No, we won’t.” I spin hearing Dimitri’s voice behind me. Clad in only his briefs, the man is packed with muscles and tattoos. Not an ounce of fat has touched his flesh. I lick my lips when I see his cock react to my perusal.

“What the fuck does that mean?” King yells in my ear, so I put it on speakerphone and motion for D to close the patio door, so we don’t wake up Danika.

“It means, we’re taking her back to my cabin, and we’ll be in touch. Tell Viktor to calm his tits and find some pussy to lose himself in.” Dimitri smirks when Luther and King simultaneously curse.

“That’s not why we sent you, Dimitri,” Luther hisses between what I imagine are clenched teeth.

“Things changed, and that’s what’s happening. Deal with it.” He hits the end call button and tosses the phone in the corner before either can respond.

“They’re gonna be pissed,” I groan as he leans down to me, his hard cock brushing against my forearm.

Running his nose up my neck, Dimitri bites down, leaving a mark, and I feel my own dick beginning to twitch in response. Fuck do I want this man.

“I need something from you, Danny-boy.”

“What?” My voice is breathless as his mouth crashes down on mine.

“Your mouth wrapped around my dick.” He pulls my hand over his hardness to show me just what he wants.

My mouth waters.

When I woke up with Danny-boy missing from bed, the worst-case scenario entered my mind. He left. When I heard the whispered words from the patio, I got curious.

Listening to him talk to Lilith, witnessing the softer side of him shouldn’t have shocked me as much as it had. They’ve always been close. Before I showed up and even after. They reminded me of siblings.

When King started mentioning Viktor, I wanted to choke the man. I don’t care if it’s Nika’s brother or not, the Russian brute needs to back the fuck off. I told him that when I spoke to him before we left Russia for London. He’s clearly not getting it through his head that she has us now. That we’ll always be here for her.

After tossing the phone away and telling Daniel what I want, I wasn’t surprised to see his pupils dilate. His breathing picked up and his shorts tented with his own need. My fingers itch to delve into his hair and force his mouth around my cock. I want to feel the warmth, the gentle glide of his tongue. To feel him swallow around the head and drown in my cum as I explode in his throat.

“On your knees, Danny-boy.” I can’t fucking contain myself. I fist his hair as he drops down in front of me, his chest bare. A sprinkle of hair dusts his pecks, leading down in a thinner line to his own bulge. “You want this, D?”

He licks his lips again before answering me. “Yeah.” His voice is husky as he leisurely works my briefs down my legs. It’s fucking torture. The cool breeze brushing across my heated flesh is goddamn agony as I wait to feel his mouth. I close my eyes and let my head roll back on my shoulders as he slowly moves forward, his breathing harsh against my sensitive ridges.

“Fuck,” I hiss. “Danny-boy.” His name leaves my lips like a damn prayer, and I haven’t prayed since I was a boy.

The heat from his hand encompasses my length, squeezing with strength as he slowly milks it up and down.

“More,” I moan. I jump when I feel his tongue lick up my length. From bottom to top, stopping only long enough to lick up the liquid trying it’s best to spill out of me.

I hear a groan come from Daniel’s mouth, and my eyes pop open to look down. Our gazes meet, and I’m damn near ready to blow. I can see the motion from between his own legs as he beats his cock in a heavy rhythm. His mouth works further down my length. I fight to keep my eyes on his. To show him exactly what he does to me.

Nothing has ever felt more natural than seeing Danny-boy on his knees for me. The only thing that could make it any better is if Danika were out here with us. Her breathy sighs would make this moment perfection.

“Just like that, Danny-boy. Just”— I pump into his mouth—“like”—I pull his hair, tilting his head further back—“that.” My balls swell, and my spine tingles as I explode into a raging mess.

Bliss flows through me, leaving me victim to Daniel’s ministrations as he swallows every drop of my seed. Licking up and down my dick, sucking the tip back into his mouth until I’m so sensitive I can’t stand to be touched.

Dragging him to his feet, my mouth crashes over his in a brutal meeting, and I taste the saltiness on his tongue as I dominate Daniel into compliance.

“Fuck, D.” I’m out of breath as we part. “Wow,” a soft voice says from behind us. I’m beginning to think Danika enjoys spying on us.

Sweet baby Jesus. What am I witnessing?

I knew they were close. I knew they had feelings for each other, and I have been lost in the sight of their lips touching. The reverence in which they carress each other, the pure joy they reflect, and it leaves a girl breathless.

And makes her question her purpose in their presence.

They don’t need me, not for this. Not ever.

They’re breathtaking together. Both are so handsome it should be illegal. Their stares alone are transfixing, and I always get lost in their depths.

“Why do you need me when that was so…so…” I’m at a loss for words as they watch me, not bothering to cover up, and I’m lost in the perfection of their bodies. “Mesmerizing.”

“We need you because you make us…this…possible,” Daniel says, a shy smile on his face.

I look down after his response because I don’t feel worthy. Of any of it. Them. I’ve always been a bit of a mess, but with these two men, it seems I’m flipping both sides of the crazy coin, and I can’t find my footing.

“But you guys…” I trail off, unsure of what I’m going to say.

“We need you, mi amore, because you’re one-third of our whole. Without you, we’re missing a huge, important piece of our lives.” Daniel always did seem to be the more sensitive of the two, and he continues to prove it.

“He’s right, Nika, there’s no us without you. I never made a move on him before because it always felt like something—someone—was missing, and until your sass showed up, I didn’t know what that was.” I blush at Dimitri’s words because I was a pain in the ass. I only wanted to get him out of his own head. I saw the agony he was in. “I knew, beyond anything else, that when Danny-boy woke up, he’d love you every bit as much as I do.” My heart stops at his words. “I knew when he woke up, and we were all together that we’d finally be able to be free with each other. To be who we really are.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard the man talk to so much. Or so sensitively.

“I’ve never been wanted for me before,” I quietly confess. I know Viktor loves me. I believe he does, but sometimes, I wish he’d never found me. I’m selfish for the thought, for wanting more than what I have.

Daniel walks over to me, and I can feel my body drawing into itself. It’s what I’m used to. But he doesn’t allow me to hide. Pulling me into his arms, he doesn’t hesitate to lay his lips across mine and whisper, “We want you for everything you’re going to become.” I’m confused by his words. “We’re going to help you blossom. You’ll grow; you’ll laugh. But most of all, you’ll love and be loved. Open up to us, mi amore, and you’ll see the truth.”

I can’t respond because he closes the small gap between us and plunders my mouth. Sweeping his tongue past my shocked gasp and into my mouth. His warmth mixes with mine. The salty flavor of Dimitri rests on his tongue, and I moan, wishing I could have done it with him.

Heat hits my back, and I feel Dimitri’s hands peruse my body, touching me in places only they’ve known. Fueling my desire to have them both. To explore all these feelings that keep cropping up. I want nothing more than to give myself to Daniel and Dimitri, but I’m so afraid.

Afraid of hurting.

Of loving and losing.

Mostly, I’m afraid I’ll be the one to hurt them.

“You won’t break us, Nika.” Dimitri’s hoarse whisper echoes my thoughts.

“When you’re ready—” Daniel pulls away from my lips—“we’ll be here. Both of us. That’s not going to change. We have time to learn everything we need to.” Dimitri’s body tenses behind me, and Daniel must feel it too. “Cool it, D, she knows you want to fuck her brains out. Give her a chance to work on being ready.”

I don’t stifle my laugh very well until Dimitri groans out, “She’s ready. She’s ready for us both. She just won’t admit it,” while grinding his hardened length into the small of my back.

He’s right, and he’s wrong.

I am ready, and I will admit it.

I just need to know that they’re ready for what us as a trio will mean to the people in our lives. I get the feeling they won’t give a fuck unless it affects me. I don’t know how Viktor, Nikolai, or Kodiak will react. They’re the only family I have, and if they can’t—or won’t—accept these men, I’m not sure what I’ll do.