Epilogue
Avery - January 10, 2024
It’s funny how time passes in the blink of an eye. One moment, Abby was a tiny baby, born early at thirty-six weeks. She was five pounds, and so small that she needed to stay in the hospital three extra days. But she was strong and healthy, and by nine months old, she was in the ninety-eighth percentile for height and weight. Walking by ten months, and speaking in sentences by her first birthday.
She wowed us all.
It all happened so fast — it feels like I brought her home from the hospital in that infant car seat a week ago. And it feels like Maddox and I were just on that rooftop, drinking strawberry wine and talking about running away to Mexico. Now we’re permanently living in Vancouver, and we’re slowly convincing everyone we love to join us here.
Life has a funny way of speeding through its twists and turns.
Years pass, and it doesn’t seem like any time at all.
Today’s a big day, and everyone is here to celebrate it with us. It’s Abby’s fifth birthday, and it’s really the first birthday that I think she knows exactly what’s going on. She asked for carrot cake and cream cheese frosting (her dad’s favorite too), then insisted her entire name – Ellen Abigail Barbara Bryant – is spelled out in full above the “Happy Birthday”, and below the candles.
That little girl knows herself; not much gets past her. Maddox says she’s smart like me. I know she’s tough and wily, just like him. She’s a handful, with her mop of curly red hair and her rambunctious athletic energy, but she’s worth the effort. Even though she’s just five, she knows exactly who she’s named after, and why.
Ellen is for my best friend since freshman year in high school, Ella; who has stuck with me through thick and thin, who always tells me just how it is, and never let’s me lose focus on what really matters.
Abigail is for Maddox’s mom who passed away just a few months after Abby was born. She got to hold her grand daughter and see her smile. As sick as Abigail was by then, she still laughed and cried and sang silly songs, making Abby giggle and grin.
Barbara is for Ella’s Aunt Bebe, who’s also our aunt by adoption, choice, and default. When we were frightened and running, Bebe took us in, fed us, kept us safe, and bought me prenatal vitamins before I even knew such a thing existed, much less that I needed them. She also showed me how to breast feed, how to make stretch marks disappear, and how to help a cranky baby sleep through the night. Bebe is brilliant, along with being a crusty old soul who has all her priorities in order. She doesn’t suffer fools lightly and she cuts me and Maddox very little slack, but when it comes to Abby, there’s not much she won’t do to make sure that little girl is challenged, learning, and observing.
Bebe and Abby planted a garden in our back yard. We have tomatoes and squash, basil and oregano, hot peppers and green beans, and we’re over-run with eggplant, which Bebe turns into amazing lasagna and baked sweet breads.
Bebe lives with us, but she’s not our nanny. She’s more like our household manager, handling all the logistical and practical things that Maddox and I suck at. I don’t know what we’d do without her – which she reminds me of every single day.
My boss and his wife are at the party too, hanging out in the corner behaving like grow-ups with Lucas Salvatore and his brother. My boss is Elias Sanderson, California’s junior U.S. Senator. He ran against my mother in the last election cycle. Evelyn lost the election not just because Elias was a better candidate (he was), but because he’s a better person. That and her campaign was – in the last months before the November vote – buried in scandal, under investigation by the U.S. Attorney General’s Office, the Federal Election Commission, and the Senate Ethics Committee. It didn’t help her position that I was hired on by the Sanderson team as a strategist months before the election. The press loved that bit of turnabout, and I have to confess, I loved it too. It was great to be recruited by someone whose politics and ethics I believe in; someone I don’t have to tell lies for. Someone who appreciates my ideas and encourages them.
My parents are not at the party. They don’t have anything to do with us, and they never will. When I was eight months pregnant I was called to testify in closed session before the U.S. Senate Ethics Committee concerning the relationship between my mother and Robin Abbot. After that, all the embezzling stuff came out too — and I wasn’t around for any of that. But it all got worse.
A full investigation into their dealings revealed that Abbot, when he was a Senate page and just eighteen years old, had been lured into a sexual relationship with my mother. Years later, he used that fact to blackmail her. In order to keep him quiet, she gave him money and even put him to work on her campaign, using him to dig up or create damaging material on her political opponents and their family members. When all this came out, Abbot revealed everything – every sordid, inflammatory detail – and it destroyed my mother’s career as well as her reputation. It also destroyed my parents marriage. They divorced not long after the scandal broke.
Generally I am not one to hold grudges, but in the case of Evelyn and Richard Thomas, I will make an exception.
Life experience has taught me the difference between obligation and love. Today I surround myself with people who love me, and who I love. It’s a much better sort of family than the one I had before, and it’s full of fascinating, complicated people. One of those complicated people is Salvatore, and his closest friend and “accomplice” (as they like to joke). Lucas is rough around the edges with a short temper and boundless ambition. He works hard, plays hard, and drinks hard, and he’s the most loyal S.O.B. on the planet. He’s the kind of friend that everyone needs; the kind that would go to hell and back to protect and defend you, then buy you a beer for the privilege.
Lucas and Maddox started a consulting firm – Trident Security – a few months after Lucas retired from the Marines. It’s taken awhile for them to get on their feet, but now they’re almost too busy, working private, state, and federal contracts, and about to add more people to the staff. Ella works with Maddox and Lucas as a general office manager. She runs the place, keeping the two of them in line and all the tedious paperwork in order. Along with ensuring the bills get paid and payroll gets made, she keeps Lucas from pissing off the clients, and keeps Maddox from pissing off Lucas. She’s got her work cut out for her every single day, but she’s good at her job and she loves it.
Lucas’s brother, Brian just joined Trident to start a new service line in the area of electronic security and surveillance. Maddox says Brian was a contractor for the NSA and did some above-top-secret work with the Marines back in the day. Brian is nothing at all like his brother. He’s a quiet, deliberate, intellectual sort who’s way more comfortable with a computer than a firearm. Adding Brian to the mix looks like a good move to me, as I think his steady personality and shrewdness will bring a valuable new dynamic to the business. I’m no expert on the security consulting business, but I do know that there’s no lack of demand for their work.
Our life, while far from easy, is pretty damn good. Our friends are an odd assortment of working class sages, national heroes, dedicated public servants, and quirky curmudgeons who help us keep our priorities straight. I no longer have access to a bottomless credit line, but I do know how to balance a household budget and keep the oil changed on our two vehicles. I can write a speech for the Senator, while simultaneously kissing and cleaning a boo-boo on a baby’s skinned knee, while also making sure Maddox remembers to kiss me before leaving for work. Most days I don’t have to remind him.
Right now, Maddox is sitting on the floor, legs crossed Indian style, playing patty-cake with our daughter, singing with her. He’s such a good father. He’s really here – present – for us every single day. He pays attention and listens.
Maddox turns and sees me watching them. He smiles. Then he scoops Abby up in his arms and walks with her toward me.
“Kisses for Mama,” he says, leaning in. He kisses me on the lips while Abby presses her tiny palms to my face and smooches my cheek. “Mama is the best,” Maddox says, looking at Abby then back at me. His smile still melts my heart.
Abby grins beaming, sitting tall in her handsome Daddy’s, muscled arms.
“Daddy’s the best,” I say. “And Abby’s the best. And today is just about perfect.”
Life is never perfect, but when it’s this good, the idea of perfection pales by comparison. I wouldn’t trade anyone’s idea of perfection for what I have right here in front of me.
Deleted Scene
How the hell am I making it hard on him? He’s the one who’s treating me like I’m contagious.
When I saw him with that girl in the bar, and saw the way they were looking at each other, it brought everything back. The way he’d kissed me that night so long ago. The way the scruff of his beard felt on my cheek. The way his scent lingered in my head. The girl at the bar wasn’t even that pretty. And she was leering at him like a spider about to pounce on a tasty snack… Good Lord, I wanted to claw both their eyes out.
Maybe it was the alcohol that made me reckless. Maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, it caught Maddox completely off-guard. He saw my reflection in the bar mirror approaching from behind with an expression he’d never seen me wearing before.
I’ve shown him pouty. I’ve shown him stubborn. I’ve shown him freaking out in tears. But Maddox has never seen me really, really mad. I was as angry as a bag of snakes and I was moving fast in his direction.
He swung around and caught me in a bear hug just as I was about to hurtle myself, arms flailing, claws out, at the girl he was chatting up. Despite the fact that he had me in a body hold, I kept fighting him and screaming at that poor girl, who scrambled backward as fast as her five inch heels could carry her.
Maddox was trying to get control of me and checking the bar to make sure no one was Live Streaming my latest tantrum to Facebook, while shouting, “What the hell, Avery? What’s wrong with you? Get a freaking grip.”
I fought him all the way out into the lobby, ranting about the girl at the bar and the way she looked at him. Then ranting about the way looked at her.
Maddox pointed out the obvious, “Good lord, Avery, you’ve had too much to drink.” He shook his head at me like I was an errant child.
I’m standing there, wobbling on bare feet, carrying my heels in my right hand like a weapon, trying to be clever. “Oh and you’re in there drinking Pellegrino?” It was the only thing I could think of. My head was in a blinding rage, and I’m seldom quick with the witty repartee when I’m pissed-off – much less when I’m drunk.
“We’re not talking about me.” Maddox snapped. “I’m taking you upstairs. It’s my night off, and I’m still having to babysit you.”
And then he asked where my security detail was.
He’s always so responsible. Dependable. Predictable. Even three sheets to the wind and he’s all-business. Why can’t he take a risk?
In that second, when he asked about Marc – the guy assigned to provide security for me on Maddox’ night off – all my rage vanished. I screwed up. I just looked to the side, shrugged and confessed. “I gave him the slip between the restaurant and the first bar. He bugged my friends and he bugged me, and I just wanted to have fun, one – last – time, before Evelyn ascends to Empress of the World.”
Maddox scowled at me, then his expression changed to disappointment. He gets preachy when he’s disappointed.
“You’re gonna get yourself killed.” He said. “If you don’t get someone else killed first.”
He grabbed my elbow, turning me in the direction of the elevators. He pushed me forward like he was prodding a willful cow, walking me toward the mirrored doors. Once on the elevator, and reasonably confident that I’d calmed down, I saw the adrenaline rush in his eyes subside and the alcohol buzz start to creep back in. He was still angry though.
“Don’t be mad with me.” I begged him, trying to conjure up a sympathetic tone. “I’ve had too much to drink, but I never do that anymore. You know that. You know I always do...”
“Exactly what you’re supposed to do.” Maddox interrupted me, finishing my sentence. He’s heard it all before.
And then he starts guilting me.
“You do do realize that Marc Baker – your detail – is probably going to get fired over this? He lost his principal. First rule of protective service work; don’t lose sight of your principal. He should get fired. But honestly Avery, I doubt he thought you’d be stupid enough to try to ditch him. He’s probably freaking out, thinking you’ve been snatched or something.”
I wasn’t quite that thoughtless. “No. I called him. He knows I’m alright.”
Maddox looked up at the ceiling and heaved in a deep sigh. “You are one complicated pain in the ass, Avery Thomas.”
That was two weeks ago. Tonight I’m sitting on the edge of the tub looking at his last text.
Maddox calls me through the closed bathroom door with a brittle edge in his voice.
It’s the same tone he took two weeks ago – after he slipped the key into my hotel room door and directed me into it – and I hesitated, then reached up and cupped the back of his neck in my palm and pulled him toward me.
He moved my hand away roughly. “You’re drunk, Avery. Stop it.” His tone was edged with tension.
I just stood there, staring at him, still wobbly from too much drink and not enough to eat.
“Avery. Go inside and go to bed. Tomorrow is a big day and it starts early.”
He was a little bleary himself.
“Check my room?” I asked him. That was protocol, after all. I’m accustomed to this song and dance now. I know the rules. That’s how I break them when I want to.
He rolled his eyes at me. “Alright.”
Maddox stepped into the hotel suite and flipped on the lights, leaving me outside in the hallway. I wasn’t supposed to, but I followed him in a few seconds later. He checked the bathroom first, then the bedroom, making sure the balcony doors were locked from the inside. He checked the closet and then the sitting room. He turned around to fetch me from the corridor, but I was already inside, slipping out of my dress. I was on a mission.
“Jesus...”
Maddox dropped his eyes and tried to move around me, headed for the door, but I anticipated him. I slipped my hand around his waist and held on tight from behind. If he’d kept moving he’d have brought me stumbling to my knees. Instead of that, he stopped dead in his tracks. I slipped my other arm around him, over his shoulder and pressed myself close against him, wearing only my bra and panties. My dress was on the floor at his feet.
“Stay with me.” I asked him. “Please.”
I felt his heart pounding underneath my left palm.
He took a deep breath and exhaled, saying, “Avery. We’ve both had too much to drink. This is not...”
I slipped my hand lower, down his belly, pausing at his belt, unbuckling it with just one hand. Then I reached even lower, letting the tips of my fingers find that firmness increasing just under his zipper. I heard his breath catch and felt him stiffen as I stroked him.
“Just one night.” I said. “We’re both curious. I know it. And… It’s your night off.”
It happened fast. Maddox turned and swept me up, and in just a few fumbling seconds, we were entwined together, he was inside me, and we were moving with the rhythm of angry waves crashing on a storm wracked beach. It was nothing like I imagined it would be. It was heated, and furious, and hard, but he made me come so fast, as rough and as thoughtless as it was, it was also good. I came a couple of times – but it took Maddox awhile to get there. When he finally did it was like the tide inside him turned. It was furious, raging. When it was done, he melted into me like a passing hurricane evaporates on the horizon, leaving only glassy seas and a pile of debris in its wake.
~~~
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