Raketa didn’t see Gunner the rest of the day. She heard him come and go, but never ventured out of the bedroom unless she was certain he was outside, and then, it was only to use the restroom or get some water.

It would be dark soon, and he would likely be inside for the rest of the night. Eventually, she’d be forced to talk to him, and she still hadn’t figured out what she’d say.

She could ask again to be let go, but that would be a waste of breath. He’d never let her; he was protecting her.

What else could she say? That she’d realized she had no one else in the world she could turn to?

She jumped when she heard a knock on the door and waited for it to open. It didn’t, and while she hadn’t heard his approach, she did hear him walking away.

Admittedly, she was starving, and it was only her own stubbornness preventing her from eating. Now she was kicking herself for not getting food earlier when she was sure she wouldn’t run into him.

The pangs in her stomach grew worse when the smell of whatever Gunner was cooking wafted into her room. It smelled divine, and she couldn’t remember the last time she ate. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

Less than five minutes later, Raketa opened the door to her bedroom and walked into the kitchen.

Gunner didn’t say anything, but he did stand, walk over to the oven, take out a covered plate, and set it in front of her.

Beneath the cover he removed was grilled salmon, rice, and vegetables.

“It’s really good,” she said after several mouthfuls. “Thank you.”

When he didn’t respond, she looked up.

“You’re welcome. Would you like more?”

“Yes, please,” she muttered. “I can get it, though.”

“Yeah? Know your way around a kitchen?”

He was trying to tease her, and she appreciated his effort to lighten the tension between them. “Actually, I don’t.”

“Good,” he said, standing and taking her plate. “It’ll give us something to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll teach you how to cook.”

“Oh, uh…”

He set the plate down in front of her and then went back to his seat across the table. “Look at me,” he said, waiting for her to do as he asked before continuing. “Got a better idea?”

When Raketa’s eyes met his, her mind filled with several better ideas. How could her body respond so quickly when a few short hours ago she couldn’t imagine ever wanting to look at him again? She looked down at her plate and raised another forkful to her mouth.

“Yeah, I can think of a lot of better ideas too,” he muttered, almost causing her to drop her fork. “Listen, I think we should start over. Things got out of hand earlier.”

Raketa nodded. “I agree.”

“That things got out of hand or that we should start over?”

“Both.”

“Good.” Gunner finished the food on his plate and took it to the sink. “When you’re done eating, I’ll build a fire and we can sit outside.”

Raketa nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Gunner left the kitchen and went out the front door.

She could tell by the heaviness of his footfalls that he was still angry, but at least he’d given her an opening for them to talk again.

It was probably shitty of him to leave the way he had, but if he hadn’t, he would’ve been all over her.

Raketa was the first person he’d shared a meal with at his kitchen table. When Razor and Shiv had been here, each time, they sat outside or in the living room when they ate. It felt good, looking up and seeing her across from him. That feeling had quickly changed, though. As his eyes took in her thin frame and he watched her take mouthfuls of food he had made for her, something he could only describe as primal came over him.

If he’d stayed in that room with her another minute, he would’ve thrown her over his shoulder, carried her into the bedroom, and torn the clothes from her body. Only after he’d looked his fill of her naked flesh, would he sink his body into hers in the way he longed to.

Going caveman on her would most likely result in him never earning her trust, which was why he’d left the way he had.

Her reaction earlier, before everything between them went to hell, puzzled him.

It was as though she’d never experienced oral sex before. He kicked the pile of logs in front of him when he realized he couldn’t remember whether they had or not the night they were together.

Probably not, since she left the next morning without so much as a see ya later. Given how inebriated he was, maybe the sex had sucked, and not in a good way.

He adjusted his shorts, knowing that if he didn’t quit thinking about a do-over, she’d probably slap his face before she stormed back inside and sequestered herself in the bedroom for the remainder of the night.

He stacked the logs in the pit, lit a fire, and then pulled two Adirondack chairs to the other side of it, so the shifting breeze wouldn’t blow smoke their way.

Just when he’d decided she wasn’t going to join him, he heard the front door open.

“Hey, there,” he said, looking her up and down. “Cold?” When he’d left, she had been wearing the same pair of shorts and shirt he’d stripped from her body earlier. Now she had on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. It was probably better that she’d changed, given his body’s reaction to remembering stripping her.

Gunner motioned to the chair next to him, and she sat down.

For a few minutes, he struggled with what to say. He was terrible at small talk. Sure, he knew how to flirt, but given the circumstances, that probably wouldn’t be the best approach. What did they have to talk about? He couldn’t ask her about her childhood, or even much about her life.

“Do you remember the first time we saw each other?” she asked, startling him.

“I do.” He closed his eyes, remembering that moment and how it had shaken him. “You took my breath away.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember,” she mumbled.

“You didn’t kill me. That’s hard to forget.”

“Oh, right. I did have a gun pointed at you; that would take anyone’s breath away.”

Gunner leaned forward. “That isn’t what I meant, Rocket Girl.” He stroked his finger down the side of her face. “It was the feeling I got when I looked into your eyes.”

“I couldn’t pull the trigger. That had never happened to me before.”

“Why do you think that was?”

“I don’t know. I’ve asked myself many times.”

“It was like we’d met before. Another time, maybe.”

Raketa laughed. “Like in another life?”

Gunner shrugged. “I can’t say I believe in shit like that, but, yeah. I can’t explain the way I felt. It happens every time I see you.”

“It’s the same for me,” she said, almost too quietly for him to hear.

When he leaned in closer and brushed her lips with his, she put one hand on the back of his neck while the other rested near his heart.

She pulled back. “I want to trust you. I don’t know how. I’ve never done it before.”

Gunner pulled back and looked into her eyes. “That is probably the most honest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He kissed her again, this time deeper, with more of the passion he was trying so hard to rein in.

He sat back and looked up at the stars. “I don’t want to do the wrong thing. Other than when I’ve been working an op and doing the wrong thing would mean either I or someone on my team would die, I don’t remember feeling this way. At least not as strongly. I kinda feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just want you to know that this is important to me. You’re important to me.” He shook his head. “I’m not accustomed to saying that.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever said it,” she admitted.

“Raketa, I…”

She kept her gaze on him while he struggled with what he wanted to say.

“Earlier…what I said…I don’t know how to apologize without making it worse. Not for us being together, but for making you think I regretted it.”

“Don’t you?”

He leaned forward again. “Not in the way you’re thinking right now. I regret that I didn’t take better care of you…” He laughed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better lover.”

Raketa smiled, but just slightly. “So certain it was terrible. That’s how I know you don’t remember.”

“I don’t know what your benchmark is, but I can assure you, I can do better.”

“My what? A mark?”

“It means something to measure against, like a comparison.”

“Ah. I don’t have a benchmark, Gunner. I didn’t before that night, and I still don’t.”

He scrubbed his face with his hand. Did she mean what he was thinking? Nah, that couldn’t be.

“Now I’m the one who doesn’t understand.”

“You’re the only man I’ve been with,” she told him.

Jesus—and he was drunk. He felt like the biggest asshole who’d ever lived, and he had no idea what to say. He rested his head against the back of the chair and looked at the stars for the second time. He couldn’t say he was sorry again. What would she think he was sorry for? “I’m back to not having any idea what to say.”

“There isn’t anything—”

When she stood and it appeared she was heading inside, Gunner grabbed her and pulled her into his lap. He gripped one side of her face while he held her tight to him with the other. He struggled with words and then gave up. Instead, he’d use his mouth in another way to tell her how he felt.

He kissed her, harder than he had before. He explored her mouth with his tongue, wanting to know every crevice, every hidden inch of her body. Tonight he would, because tonight he would do what he should’ve done the first time they were together.

He stood with her still in his arms and carried her into the house.

“I want you to trust me. Just this, Raketa. Trust this,” he said as he laid her body on the bed.

She nodded, the look in her eyes equally heated and anxious.

He hovered above her. “Tonight won’t just be sex, Rocket Girl. I’m going to learn as much as I can about your body, and you’re going to do the same with mine.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“Let me,” he said when he saw her reaching for the waistband of her jeans. “And when I’m finished, you’ll take mine off.”

She rested against the pillows, her eyes focused on his hands and the way he undressed her. When her clothes were off and she lay naked in front of him, he ran his hands from her neck, slowly, down her body. He kept his touch gentle, soaking in the feel of her through the tips of his fingers.

“Your turn,” he said when he reached her toes.

He stood and helped her off the bed.

She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pushed it up and over his head. He took one arm from the sleeve, but waited while she removed it from the other.

She pushed his shorts down his body and knelt in front of him as he stepped out of them.

“Come with me,” he said, pulling her back to her feet and into the bathroom. He flicked a switch and instead of the bright light she’d expected, the room was awash with a soft glow, almost like candlelight.

She knew from taking her bath earlier that the button he pushed would fill the tub. She stood by its side and waited.

Gunner walked over to the fireplace and lit it before coming back to stand in front of her.

“I hope you took a long nap today because I don’t think I’ll be able to let you sleep tonight.”

She smiled as he helped her climb into the warm water and watched as he joined her.

“I need you closer,” he said, pulling her to sit between his legs.

He drizzled body wash on the front of her and took his time massaging it into her aching breasts. Her body shook with a want she didn’t know how to ask for. She wished he would hurry, but to what she didn’t know. All she knew was the ache between her legs was one that only Gunner could soothe away.

As his fingers trailed closer, she whimpered.

“What was that, Rocket Girl?”

“I want,” she moaned. “But I don’t know what I want. Just don’t stop.”

“I don’t plan to.”

When his fingers reached her sex, Raketa almost came out of the tub from the jolt of pleasure. The more he toyed with her, the harder it was for her not to squirm away from his touch.

“Let me do this,” he said, thrusting two fingers inside of her while the pad of his thumb rested against the most sensitive part of her body. The intensity of what she felt made her want to crawl out of her skin.

“Come for me, Rocket Girl,” he whispered, curling his fingers inside of her as a sensation came over her that she could describe only as every inch of her body exploding from the inside out.

“Gunner, oh my God,” she heard herself moan as she dug her fingers into his powerful thighs and rode the wave of pleasure streaming through her body.

She rested against him, unable to hold herself up without his support, and closed her eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could feel his fingertips softly stroking her arms, and then her tummy.

When those fingers pinched each of her nipples simultaneously, she was immediately back to wanting to crawl out of her skin. How could something that felt so good be so unbearable?

He was relentless in his exploration of her body, running his hands over every inch, from her neck to her legs.

She felt his hand in her hair and leaned forward so he could release the tight bun she usually kept it in.

“I love your hair,” he murmured as he released the locks long enough to float in the water. “I’ve only seen you with it down once, and ever since, I’ve fantasized about seeing you that way, but naked, and just for me.”

She wanted to ask when he’d seen her hair down, but she couldn’t speak through the pleasure of his massaging her scalp. How had she lived to be thirty without knowing the amazing ways her body could feel?

She whimpered again.

“What was that?” he murmured, kissing her neck just below her ear.

“It feels so good.”

“What does? This?” He ran his tongue down her neck to her shoulder. “Or this?” His fingers dug into her scalp.

“Everything. I never…”

“Tell me. Don’t keep anything inside. Tell me everything you’re thinking. Tell me how I make you feel, Raketa.”

“I didn’t know it would be like this.”

“I’m glad.”

She turned her head to try to see his face. “Why?”

“Because I’m the only one who’s made you feel this way.”

The feeling of possessiveness that washed over him took Gunner by surprise. He was back to being a caveman wanting to claim her as his own and never let anyone else ever touch her the way he was.

Her body responded to his touch like it was made to feel his fingers. With every whimper, every moan, every squirm he felt himself harden to the point where he ached the same way he guessed she did.

“I want to be inside you,” he whispered. “I don’t think I can wait.”

She moved away from him, but he pulled her back.

“Don’t go anywhere,” he said as he reached over the side of the tub and pressed the control for the shower. He hadn’t used the option before, but it was perfect. Instead of water raining down directly on them, the flow encircled them.

“Stay right where you are,” he said, moving her to the other side of the tub’s ledge. “I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get a condom, sweetheart. Don’t move.” He rested his gaze on her nakedness. It was almost impossible to pull himself away from her, but he had to protect her like he said he would. As much as he wanted to feel her wrapped around him with nothing between them, he couldn’t risk getting her pregnant when she was trusting him to take care of her.

As he padded his way to the bedroom, a terrible thought crossed his mind. Had he used a condom when they were together before? He couldn’t remember, but it seemed unlikely.

Later, they’d talk about it. Now wasn’t the time to bring up the night she’d given him the gift of herself and he was too drunk to appreciate it.

He grabbed the unopened box from the drawer of his nightstand and silently thanked Razor for giving him a gift they both thought was a joke as a housewarming present.

When he walked back into the bathroom and saw her sitting right where he’d left her with the glow of the fire illuminating her through the stream of water, he stopped moving and soaked in every inch of her.

Instead of taking her there like he’d planned, Gunner walked over, turned off the water, and gathered her in his arms. The caveman was back. He wanted her in his bed tonight and every night after that.

He felt the chill on her skin and held her closer to him. “Let’s get you warm.”

“I feel like I’m already on fire.”

“Hang on, baby, soon it’ll feel like an inferno.”

She smiled as he sat down on the bed with her still in his arms. He opened the box and pulled out a foil packet.

“Next time I’ll let you do this, but right now, I feel like I’ll explode if you even touch me,” he said when she reached for it.

He shifted her off his lap, sheathed himself, and then rested his body between her legs.

“Eyes open,” he said when she closed them. “Keep your eyes on mine. I want you to see what you do to me when I’m inside you.”

She nodded and bit her bottom lip.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promised to take care of you, and I will.”

It was all he could do to keep his eyes open like he’d told her to when he eased inside of her body. Now he understood why he’d remembered her tightness when there were so many other details he couldn’t recall.

He moved slowly, gently, waiting as her body adjusted to his size. He prayed he hadn’t hurt her the first time they were together, but refused to let the thought eclipse what was happening between them now.

Raketa wrapped her legs around him and dug her fingers into his thighs.

“I want more,” she groaned, thrusting her body against his, pushing him over the edge to a place where he couldn’t be gentle, couldn’t take it slow like he wanted to. He met her gaze as he pounded into her, waiting until the moment he knew she was about to take off before he let himself go with her.