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LIBBY
It feels like my eyes are swollen. I didn’t sleep well last night, and every time I told myself this isn’t a big deal and not to cry, I’d break down. Over and over again.
How had I let myself fall in love with Carson so completely in the span of three months? Was that even possible—to grow that attached to someone?
But then, we’d spent almost every single waking moment together. Talking together, working together, laughing together. Having sex. I know more about him than I do about all my other boyfriends combined.
Or at least I thought I did.
I walk downstairs and smell coffee. For a moment, I’m confused. Then I realize Carson must have preset the timer and got the coffee ready for today. He’s good about that. He might be disorganized about everything else, but he’s serious about his coffee.
But when I hear the noises in the backyard, I pull my robe tighter around me and walk to the kitchen and toward the back door.
I didn’t hear Carson come in last night, but he might have arrived in the wee hours of the morning when I’d finally fallen asleep.
What the hell is he doing here? Working?
When he sees me at the window, he pulls off his safety goggles and walks to the door. My heart lurches. God, I want his arms around me. I want him to comfort me. To tell me this whole thing is a joke.
But it isn’t, and I won’t let him touch me. None of it is real.
When he steps in the door, I force my eyes to stay on his face. Who cares how good he looks or how much I want him right now?
This is business. That’s all we have between us.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“We have an agreement.”
“We had an agreement,” I tell him.
His gaze drops to my hand clutched at the opening of my robe. I used to think it was heat I saw there, in his eyes, but now I realize he’s just putting on a show.
“Are you saying I’m fired?” Carson asks.
“I’m assuming you don’t want to work here now that I know the truth. You got your revenge on Kyle, so there’s nothing else to do here.”
“Finish the house, that’s what I have to do,” he says, voice low and dangerous. I don’t back down when he takes a step closer but my heartbeat picks up. “I signed a contract, I gave my word that I’d do a job. I don’t go back on my word despite what you might think about me.”
“I…” I swallow and try again. I’m the boss, this is business. “I’ll pay you for the work you already did. It’s going to be awkward otherwise.”
“It’s going to be awkward anyway. Knowing what you think of me—and knowing there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. It’s going to be awkward because I still have feelings for you and you’re shutting me out. So, fuck awkward. I still want to do my job.”
My throat dries at the heat in his voice. The passion in his eyes. He’s either a phenomenal actor or he really believes in this project.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I can’t bring myself to fire him. And we do have an agreement. I should have kept it professional, but we both signed. He does his job and I pay him. And so far, he’s doing his job. I can’t complain about that at all.
But…how am I supposed to work with him?
I don’t know what he reads in my hesitant silence, but his face softens. He takes another step forward, and I swear my body is leaning toward his. Longing for him.
“I wish you’d let me talk to you,” he says quietly. “Explain.”
Explain? He means explain what he should have told me in the first place.
I step back, shaking my head. “I need…I need to run some errands. I’ll let you get back to work.”
I hurry out of the kitchen. I can’t be here with him right now. Now with the way he’s looking at me. Vulnerable. Hurt. Damn it, I almost believe him.
But that would be another mistake. I already made enough of those. So I’ll learn from it. I’ll get this place done, turn around and sell it for a bundle, and start new. Smarter. Maybe even work with my dad and Dustin for a bit to get my mind off of what happened here.
To learn a little more.
That’s a plan, and I can do plans.
But right now I need to get out of here. I call Cheyenne to see if I can stop by her office, and soon I’m on the way to the coffee shop she told me to meet her at.
It’s cool inside, with a steady flow of patrons looking for their morning fix. Cheyenne arrives just a few minutes after I do, and she immediately puts her arms around me. “Did you kick his ass?” she whispers in my ear.
I give a painful laugh. “I don’t know if what I did would be considered kicking his ass, but I laid it all out there for him.”
“And then what?” She rolls her eyes as she sits. “He probably walked out. The gig is up, right? He got caught with his pants down and now he’s moving on to dupe the next innocent woman.”
“He’s at the house,” I tell her. “Working.”
“Wait—what?” She frowns. “He’s still working there?”
“What am I supposed to do? Fire him?”
“Yes! Can his ass.”
“We have an agreement.”
“Yeah, but you can still fire him. I mean, he’s probably not even working very hard.”
My shoulders droop. “That’s the thing. He is. He’s doing a ton of work.”
She angles her head, and then nods. “Okay, no—I get it. Have him do all the hard work, and then can him. Better idea.”
“I can’t. Don’t look at me like that. If he walks out, then that’s him being an ass, but if I fire him or screw him over then I’m no better than he is.”
She folds her arms on the table and leans in. “Did he at least explain? I mean, I’d feel a little better if he was just down on his luck or his jerk partner kicked him in the balls as hard as he deserved to be kicked. Then you know he at least got what was coming to him—even though he doesn’t have turn right around and do the same thing to you.”
I rub my hands over my face. “I’m not sure that’s what he’s doing. I just…I don’t know. He tried to explain, but I didn’t want to hear it. But he…God, he doesn’t act like he’s lying about everything.”
“Act. That’s the key word. He’s acting. Maybe he’s just really good at it.”
“Really good.”
“All right, well…Shit.” She sighs. “So what are you going to do? Let him keep working for you?”
“That’s why I’m here. I don’t know what to do. I…” I rub my hand over my heart, the place that still hurts after everything that’s happened. “I want to get this house done, and he seems to want the same thing. He’s doing a good job and it kills me to think about having to find someone else after all this.”
Cheyenne nods. “I mean, yeah, that makes sense. It’s business, right? So…can you still work with him? Like if you totally ignore him and just do your job? Can you handle it?”
I don’t know. But I nod. “I think I can. I think…if I just focus, and haul ass to get this project done, I can do it. Then we can both go our separate ways and I never have to see him again.”
Cheyenne reaches out to put her hand over mine. “Okay. I’ll support you. Get this project done, I’ll sell it for you, and you can move on.”
Move on. That’s all. I’ll focus, work, and then…then, I’ll try to move on.