We spend the next two hours tied to each other. Every time I try to sneak off to find Kylie, Liesa grabs my hand or throws her arms around me to pose for a picture. She holds my hand up next to her face and makes sure all her friends snap shots for every social media outlet known to man. It probably gets telegraphed to outer space to circle the universe in perpetuity.

Jonas fumes on the patio, knocking back scotches and staring out at the ocean when he isn’t scowling at Liesa and me. Simone joins him with her bottomless mimosa. I manage to squeeze in two tequila sunrises.

Mom gives me hugs and kisses and tells me how happy she is for me and admonishes me for not letting her know how much I care for Liesa. She makes me promise we’ll have dinner in the next few days, so she can get to know her future daughter-in-law.

Alicia, clearly drunk, does not congratulate me. “This is seriously fucked.”

I grab her in an unexpected hug and whisper in her ear. “Find Kylie. Tell her I’m sorry.”

She jerks away from my embrace. “You’re an asshole.” She disappears into the foyer. So much for an ally.

The buffet is served, people eat and drink and Liesa and I pose for pictures. Where is Kylie?

We stand together on the curved drive while the guests filter out, Mrs. Knightly approaches us. She grabs my hand in her right and Liesa’s in her left. With flashing blue eyes, she speaks directly to Liesa. “I’ve developed a fondness for you over these past few months. After all you’ve been through, you deserve to find the love of your life.”

Despite what seems like a congratulatory statement from Mrs. Knightly, Liesa’s glowing smiles fades.

Mrs. Knightly lets go of my hand and taps a hard nail into my chest. “Pull your head out of your ass, son. Time is running out.”

Mrs. Knightly tugs on Liesa’s hand. “I trust you, my dear. But I can’t say I’m not concerned by the suddenness of this play.”

Liesa hugs Mrs. Knightly in what appears to be spontaneous affection. “It’s for the best.”

“Hmf.” Mrs. Knightly doesn’t seem convinced.

A black town car purrs up the curved driveway and the chauffeur jumps out to open the door for Mrs. Knightly. He helps her into the back seat. “Thank you, Mac. You can return for Mr. Knightly later.”

When the driver scurries behind the wheel and drives off, I scan the driveway for Bob or Jeri. With no one in sight, I lean into Liesa and quietly start. “Why didn’t you tell me you planned this?”

Her lip turns up in a snarl. “Because I can’t trust you. Because despite my every warning, you can’t seem to keep it in your pants. Because the only way out for Kylie is to dig ourselves in deeper.”

I stand with my mouth open.

With her voice quiet, but full of fury, she shoots words like an automatic rifle. “Do you think I want this? Believe it or not my dreams of a wedding don’t involve a reluctant bridegroom and a rushed ceremony. But you and your Can’t-Keep-My-Hands-Off-You girlfriend have fucked everything up. If you can think of another way to keep Jonas from airing that clip, do it. All I know is that if we’ve got drama enough to keep viewers entertained, he’ll back off from Kylie.”