11
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Lynx could smell her sweetness on his fingers. His tongue itched to plunge deep into her pussy, to drive her as insane as he’d been all this time just thinking about it.
But he couldn’t.
More importantly, he wouldn’t.
Because once would never be enough.
Hell, a fucking lifetime with Reagan wouldn’t be enough for him.
And Lynx damn sure wasn’t going to settle. Didn’t matter how fucking hot she’d been, how fucking much he craved seeing her come apart in his arms. Didn’t even matter how many nights he’d jacked off to thoughts of Reagan.
Only once wasn’t an option.
“I should go,” she finally said.
Unable to find his voice, Lynx simply nodded. He needed a minute anyway. Some time to process what had just happened, to figure out how she’d so easily dissolved his self-control.
Without another word, Reagan headed for the door. Lynx turned to watch her go, their eyes meeting briefly when she reached the door. It looked as though she had something to say, but nothing ever came. The next thing he knew, he was alone in the warehouse. He took one look at the steel beam and had to battle back the urge to punch the damn thing.
Taking a deep breath, then another, he waited until he managed to get his temper under control. He wasn’t pissed at Reagan, he was angry with himself for allowing things to go that far. He should’ve walked away when she’d first kissed him, held out until the time was right.
But his self-control was so thin when it came to her.
Always had been.
His gaze swung to the rocking chairs and he sighed heavily.
Several more minutes passed, and when his body stopped vibrating, Lynx grabbed one of the chairs and carried it out to his truck. After he’d loaded them both and tied them down, he closed up the shop and hopped in his truck.
He had no idea where Reagan had run off to, but he was going to deliver the chairs to Amy’s. They belonged with Reagan, and even if she never spoke to him again, at least she could enjoy the chairs. Lynx knew he had to do one of two things. Go balls to the wall and get the girl, or let go of her completely. This in-between state was tearing him apart.
As he drove, he thought back to that night on his father’s front porch. He still didn’t know why Reagan had showed up, but after his mother died, it seemed Reagan had established a steady presence in his life. After that first night by the lake, Lynx had never touched her again, but that hadn’t stopped her from coming around and it hadn’t stopped him from wanting her to.
“Where’d your dad get these chairs?” she asked, tapping her foot and rocking the chair steadily.
“I made ’em,” he admitted, not looking at her.
“You… Really?”
He grinned. “Hard to believe?”
“No. It’s just … these are awesome.”
She looked out into the distance and Lynx took a moment to stare at her. She was so damn pretty with her long, silky hair pulled back in a ponytail, that white tank top hugging her perfect tits, showing off her smooth, tanned arms.
“I love it out here,” she said softly. “Sitting on the front porch, under the stars. I’ve watched my mom and dad sit outside like this. They always look so happy.”
Odd that she said that because Lynx detected some sadness in her tone.
“I think it’s the only time they really get along. They’re always arguin’ and yellin’. Then my dad’ll leave and stay gone for a coupla days…”
Well, that explained the despondency.
“Yeah,” he said. “My mom used to sit out here with me.” He smiled at the memory. “We didn’t have these chairs at the time. I made these for my dad. Thought maybe it’d get him outside some.”
“He still not leavin’ the house?”
“Nope. Not since…” Not since the night his mother died a couple of months back. The pain of the loss still radiated inside him, burning hot and painful. His chest squeezed. God, he missed his mom.
Lynx felt more than saw Reagan’s eyes on him, but he fought the urge to look at her. He knew if he did, he’d want something she couldn’t give him. She was too sweet for what he wanted from her. More importantly, she was too young.
The technical term … jail bait.
Avoiding Reagan hadn’t been easy, and once Lynx found out she had a steady boyfriend, he’d nearly lost his mind. Most people thought that losing his mother was the reason he’d gone off the rails and that was true, but only partly. Reagan had played a big part in it as well. For the longest time, she’d offered him hope, made him believe his world wasn’t crashing down all around him.
Turning down the dirt drive, Lynx noticed Reagan’s truck was parked outside. He pulled his truck behind hers and then cut the engine. Before he got the first chair out of the truck, he heard the front screen door squeak open. Taking a deep breath, he focused on his task, doing his best not to look at her.
She didn’t say a word until he was putting the second chair in place on the porch.
“Lynx?”
He turned away from her, eager to get back in his truck and go home. He’d left Copenhagen at the house that morning and he was eager to see his dog. For whatever reason, Copenhagen calmed him, helped him to reason through his thoughts. He needed that right now.
“Thank you for the chairs.”
He offered a curt nod, still not looking at her. “You’re welcome.”
“And … I’m sorry,” Reagan said softly.
“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t blame her for anything that had happened, but he also didn’t want to get into it right now. His control was tenuous at best, and the more he was around her, the more fragile it became.
“Will you look at me, please?”
Swallowing hard, he turned to face her, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“What happened back at the warehouse…” Reagan took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t’ve kissed you, and I’m sorry.”
He nodded. The lump that those words caused swelled in his throat and threatened to strangle him. The thought of losing her before he even had her was too much for him to bear.
“Okay, that’s a lie,” she added, her eyes still locked with his. “I’m not sorry. For kissing you. I’m… I’ve been wantin’ to do that for a long time. I’m just sorry I can’t give you what you want. You have to realize what I’ve been through. Dealin’ with Billy…”
Oh, he got it, all right. But he wasn’t Billy. Not even remotely close.
Another nod was all he could offer. Although she thought the explanation was helping, it wasn’t. Not one fucking bit.
“Please say somethin’,” she urged.
Lynx shook his head. “Nothin’ to say.”
And that was the truth.
He feared if he opened his mouth the truth would come out, and he wasn’t sure he could handle much more of her rejection.
Certainly not today.
Reagan wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Lynx like this. The pained expression was hard to miss, but she had no clue what to say to erase it. The man … he threatened her heart in ways he would never understand. She’d been in love with him for so long, but she’d convinced herself he was off-limits. For chrissakes, he’d even told her she couldn’t handle what he wanted from her. She knew that to be true.
And it had nothing to do with sex. She’d had more than her fair share of fantasies about the man, plenty of time spent with her vibrator. She could handle that aspect of it easily. Even now, her body was telling her that being with him would be the greatest pleasure she’d ever known. However, her brain and her heart weren’t thinking along those same lines.
No, she was thinking on an emotional level, and the hell Billy had put her through… It was still fresh in her mind. And although she knew Lynx wasn’t Billy, there was still the risk of heartache in a different form. Something far greater than any pain Billy could’ve put her through. No, she wasn’t interested in having her heart broken again. Letting Billy go was one thing. If she ever got Lynx within her grasp and then had to let him go … Reagan wasn’t sure she’d be the same person after that, which was what scared her the most.
Before she could say anything more, the sound of an engine pulling down the drive had them both turning.
Wolfe’s big black Silverado rolled to a stop behind Lynx’s truck.
She released a breath. A sigh of relief, maybe? Or was that disappointment that was slowly filling her up?
“What’re you kids up to?” Wolfe asked when he got out of the truck and walked around to open the passenger-side door.
“Nada,” Lynx offered, his tone far more cheerful than a second ago.
The huge grin on Wolfe’s face said that all was right in his world.
Reagan glanced over at Amy. Her smile was equally big as she held Wolfe’s hand and walked up to the porch.
“We came by to get Amy’s…” Wolfe glanced down at Amy. “You wanna tell ’em?”
Her smile practically engulfed her entire face and her eyes sparkled when she looked up at the man.
Oh, yeah, that girl was in love, no doubt about it.
Reagan didn’t move from where she stood, a few feet behind Lynx.
“Wolfe asked me and Rhys to move in with him,” Amy said, her eyes darting back and forth between Reagan and Lynx.
“Very cool,” Lynx said, but he very well could’ve said, “Whatever,” for as much enthusiasm as he put into it.
“We’re still gonna take it slow,” Amy added, obviously picking up on Lynx’s tension. “I mean—”
“You don’t have to explain,” Reagan said, plastering a smile on her face. “Like I told you before, as long as the three of you are happy, it doesn’t matter.”
“Right,” Amy noted, once again smiling as she peered up at Wolfe. “I’ll be right back.”
Wolfe swatted her on the butt, making her yelp before she trotted up the steps toward Reagan. The woman’s eyes scanned the two rocking chairs, but she didn’t say anything, for which Reagan was grateful.
Figuring Lynx didn’t have anything else to say, and certainly nothing that could be said in front of his cousin, Reagan followed Amy into the house.
“I … uh… Are you gonna sell the house?” she asked, blurting the words out quickly. Like ripping a Band-Aid off.
“Actually,” Amy said, turning to face her, “I was thinkin’ maybe you could stay here. I really don’t want to sell it, but I don’t want it to sit empty, either.”
Reagan nodded, trying to play it cool although the relief she felt was fierce. “Of course.”
“If you could cover the utilities, I won’t charge rent if you could … uh … maintain it.”
Reagan smiled. She liked Amy. A lot. She considered her a friend, even if they hadn’t spent a lot of time together.
“Absolutely,” she assured Amy. “I can even mow the yard.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m the one who should be thankin’ you,” Reagan assured her.
“And if you want to move into the master bedroom … I was … uh … gonna leave my bed here.”
Reagan grinned. She’d slept in Amy’s bed a few times when the futon became too much for her tired body to deal with, but she’d felt weird about it.
“I just might do that.”
Amy peered around the room. “And feel free to decorate however you like. Consider it … uh … your place now.”
“Are you sure about this?” Reagan asked, sobering somewhat. “Not that I’m questionin’ how you feel about Wolfe and Rhys, it’s just…” She knew the hell Amy had been through, had heard the story more than once, and it still resonated with her.
“I’m sure.” Her tone was wispy, like a girl in love. “I know I haven’t known them long, but…”
“It feels right,” Reagan filled in for her. “Don’t need to convince me, Amy. I got your back.”
Amy smiled and the next thing Reagan knew, Amy was hugging her. “Thank you, Reagan.”
“For what?” she asked, confused.
“For being my friend.”
Tears welled in her eyes at the sound of Amy’s voice. The woman sounded pained, as though she never thought she would have friends. Reagan could relate somewhat. Sure, she had friends in Embers Ridge, but she’d isolated herself from most people because of Billy. She’d been embarrassed about their relationship, about the fact that she didn’t love him but stuck around and put up with his shit. And he had treated her like shit, not caring who knew.
“Like I said, I’m the one who should be thankin’ you,” Reagan replied softly. “And if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.”
Amy pulled back and grinned. “At Lynx’s house?”
Reagan rolled her eyes. “Definitely not. We’re just friends.”
It was obvious Amy didn’t buy that line, but whatever.
“Okay, then. I guess I’ll grab … a few things.”
Reagan had been over every square inch of the house multiple times, mostly when she got bored and had nothing else to do. Amy didn’t have much of anything in the house. Some secondhand furniture, clothes, toiletries, a few plastic dishes in the cupboard, a mop and broom, and one cheap vacuum cleaner. There weren’t any trinkets decorating the walls, no pictures. Reagan hadn’t gone snooping or anything, but she didn’t think Amy even had jewelry of any kind. Granted, Amy had more material things than Reagan owned, but it still wasn’t much. She could probably load everything in Wolfe’s truck right now if she really wanted to.
“I’m leaving the furniture and all that stuff,” Amy said as she turned toward the bedroom. “If you decide you don’t want it…”
“It’s perfect,” Reagan called after her. “I promise, I won’t throw anything away.”
Amy reappeared in the doorway. “Seriously, Reagan, I want you to feel like this is your home, not mine. So … do whatever you want.”
Reagan nodded curtly. “I will.” She met Amy’s gaze. “And thank you. Really.”
Amy would never truly understand what she’d done for Reagan. Giving her a place to stay was more than Reagan had ever had before. She had thought about leaving Billy a million times, but the idea of living with her mother and her grandfather had made her cringe. She loved them, but her grandfather wasn’t known for his kindness and her mother did not support her breaking up with Billy in the first place. Amy’s offer had been the swift kick in the pants that Reagan had needed to finally move on with her life, something she’d ached to do for so long.
Sure, she could’ve gone to live with her brother when she finally left Billy, but she knew Rhys. He was her big brother and he was overprotective at times. More so since their father had died. Her brother would’ve given her a hard time, and Reagan was tired of being under someone’s thumb all the time.
For the first time in her life, she actually felt … free.