Weeks had passed and Delilah had finally stopped crying every day over Christian. She hadn’t expected it to hit her so hard, but as the days went on, she found herself missing him and longing for him. The rejection was also hard to take. She hadn’t dated much, so she wasn’t used to this part. Maybe if she’d been dumped a few times in her past, it wouldn’t seem so awful to be unwanted.

She was at work, folding a stack of tops, and the image of Christian in the store, folding clothing to help her close faster came to her mind. Right after, she thought of their little encounter in the changing room. While they were still seeing each other, she’d walked by that room and blushed and grinned. Now, her stomach turned and a wave of sadness rushed over her when she saw or thought of it.

Sophie wandered over on her way to put some skirts back on the rack. “These are just too cute. I have to get one. What do you think? The red or the purple?” She held up each skirt and waited for Delilah’s answer.

Delilah glanced over, then returned her attention to her task. “Don’t you have about three red skirts already?”

Sophie shrugged. “Maybe, but I like red. Does Christian like red?”

“I don’t know.”

“How is that hottie of yours anyway? Will he be stopping in anytime soon?”

“Nope.” Delilah turned away and approached a display of jeans.

“Wait, wait.” Sophie hurried over to her, the skirts forgotten. “I don’t like that response. What’s going on?”

“It just didn’t work out.”

“No! What happened?”

She couldn’t tell her the truth—he’s gone to be part of the mob and needed to put his attention there. “I guess he wasn’t that interested after all.” It was close enough to the truth. It was part of the truth at least.

“How is that possible? Look at you!”

“Yeah.” Delilah rolled her eyes. She looked terrible today and she knew it. “I think I’m getting sick or something. I look like crap.”

No amount of makeup had helped. She hadn’t been sleeping well and felt tired all the time. Now, she had some sort of stomach thing going on.

“Eww.” Sophie stepped back. “Does your throat hurt?”

Delilah shook her head.

“Oh,” Sophie said. “I think there’s some kind of cough and sore throat thing going around. What are your symptoms?”

“Just really tired and my stomach hurts.”

“Do you feel achy and chilled?” She put a hand to Delilah’s forehead. “No fever.”

“I’m not really achy, no.”

“Are any of your siblings sick?”

“No. At least they weren’t when I left this morning.”

Sophie narrowed her eyes at her. “Wait a minute. How long have you felt sick?”

“A few days now. But it’s getting worse. I don’t know if I’ll be here tomorrow.”

“I think I have an idea of what this is.” Sophie tapped her lip. “My sister had something like this.”

“Yeah? Was it over soon? I can’t afford to miss work or school.”

“Well, sort of. I mean, she didn’t feel sick too long, but it did take about nine months for the whole thing to go away.”

Delilah snapped her attention to Sophie. “Nine months?” Then she understood what she meant. She felt the blood drain from her face. “What are you saying?”

Sophie shifted her wait and puller her lip into her mouth. “Are you late?”

Delilah paused to think. She’d been thinking her period was coming any day, but she’d been too distracted with everything going on to think much about it. She took out her phone and opened the app she used to track her periods.

She shook her head. This couldn’t be right. “I think my app is messed up.” She put her phone back in her pocket and turned to another display of clothing.

Sophie followed her. “What does it say?”

“It says I’m over a week late. That can’t be right.”

“I think you should take a test just to make sure.”

Delilah shook her head. “That’s crazy. I can’t be pregnant.”

“What kind of protection did you use?”

Delilah swallowed hard. “Well…” Was it possible they’d been so careless that they hadn’t used anything? That couldn’t be right. She thought back to their first night. They’d been drinking. Then in the changing room, it had happened so fast.

As the pieces came together in her mind, it made her stomach even more upset. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. Once she’d finished and rinsed her mouth and cleaned up, she trudged back out on the floor. Sophie was watching her.

“Alright,” Delilah said. “I’m going on break, and I’ll walk down to the corner to get a test.”

“I’ll be here waiting.”

Delilah walked slowly, as if she could put off this whole thing by taking her time. But eventually, she reached the store. She grabbed a pregnancy test, then a second one. Could never be too sure. She pulled a few crumpled bills from her pocket and used the last of her cash to buy the tests.

She walked back to the store thinking how poetic it was that she used the last of her money to buy the test. It was proof that if she was pregnant, there was no way she could afford to have a baby.

She went inside and glanced at Sophie, who was ringing up a customer. She went to the bathroom and opened the tests, followed the directions, and waited. While she waited, she opened her period app again to check it. It couldn’t be right. It just couldn’t be. She picked up the first test and saw two lines. She picked up the second test and saw two more lines. She checked the packaging again and again, hoping she misread something.

There was no denying it. She was pregnant.

Delilah sat on the toilet’s closed lid and cried for a long while. Someone knocked on the door.

“Del? It’s me. Are you okay?” Sophie asked.

“No, I’m not.” She got up and opened the door, then held out the tests for Sophie to see.

Sophie looked at them and back at Delilah. “Well…”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t even know if I should say congratulations or sorry.”

“I don’t either. How can I be pregnant?”

“Well, first the man—”

Delilah clamped her hand over Sophie’s mouth. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I was trying to lighten the mood?” She gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. How about this. I’m here for you no matter what.” She gave her a hug and returned to the sales floor.

Delilah walked back out once she was somewhat presentable. She was in a daze. Her mind went a hundred different ways. She imagined telling her mother. And her siblings. And then there was Christian. The pain that came with just thinking his name was too much.

She instead went to find the inventory book. They hated doing inventory because it was time consuming and tedious. But it required focus and that was what she needed right now. She spent the evening focused on counting and numbers, but when the store closed, she had to face the truth.

At home, she found her mother on the sofa. It was late, so the kids were all in bed. Her mom was watching TV, and when Delilah walked in, she called out a hello.

Delilah sat on the edge of the sofa. After their initial greeting and small talk, she said, “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Her mother must’ve seen something in her face because she turned off the TV and turned to her.

“Today at work I wasn’t feeling well. Then I realized that my period is late. So, I went and got a test and… I’m pregnant.”

Her mother lifted her eyebrows but said nothing.

“I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been thinking too clearly, and I’m tired.”

“This is a surprise,” her mother said. “You haven’t heard from Christian lately?”

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“That makes it a lot harder.”

“Yeah.” Delilah put her hand to her head. “I’m going to bed. Maybe in the morning I’ll be able to think about this more clearly.”

“I’m here when you’re ready to talk. We’ll figure this out together. You’ve been there with your younger siblings, taking care of them, so I know you can do this. You’ll be a wonderful mother.”

Delilah felt dread in her stomach as she stood and kissed her mother goodnight. “Thanks Mom.”

“Don’t you mean Grandmom?” Her mother pulled her mouth into a half smile.

“Maybe.” Delilah went to her room and cried herself to sleep.

When she woke in the morning, she’d had a full night’s sleep and felt much better. There had been something in her dreams about a baby.

When her mind brought back to her the fact that she was pregnant, she was surprised to find that in the light of the morning, the idea didn’t bother her too much. Her mother was right. She’d been twelve when her youngest sibling was born and she’d been there to help a lot, especially once her dad died. She’d practically helped raise Ethan. And if her and her mother had made it through that time together, then they could do it again. And now, with Rose being eleven, her sisters would be able to help like she had.

She was surprised, too, at how possessive she felt already. This wasn’t just a baby. It was her baby. Hers. To love and care for. To raise how she wanted. She could picture it easily. Sitting, holding the baby while doing schoolwork in the evenings. Her mother watching the baby with her sisters’ help when she worked. It could work. It would work.

She sat up and put her hand to her stomach. She wanted this baby. Her baby. She just didn’t know what to do about Christian.

Thinking of him made her stomach hurt all over again. On one hand, it would be easier to have help from the baby’s father. And if she was being honest, whatever financial support he could offer would be a huge help. But he wasn’t interested in her. She didn’t want to have someone around all the time, raising her baby with her, who didn’t love her or want to be with her.

And then there was the bigger factor. The mob factor. If he’d had to end things with her to keep her safe, what would happen to a baby? Would the baby be in danger, too? She’d seen Christian be beaten within inches of his life, his father was murdered according to him, and the mob was obviously known for nothing but crime and violence. There was nothing there for a baby. Christian had been raised in that life and hated it. And being brought up by a mobster meant he was part of it whether he wanted to be or not.

She could not have her baby in that position. To be in danger, to be forced into the mob when he or she was old enough. She didn’t feel right about keeping it from him, but she felt much worse about her baby being connected to the mob.