Sarah checked her plate. It was full of delicious looking beef, potatoes, carrots and peas. Yet every bite she put in her mouth tasted like lead.

“I love you too much for that … I love you too much for that… I love you too much for that…” Josh’s words rang through her mind over and over and over again. If he loved her, why had he never told her? Why had he let her leave for St. Louis? Why hadn’t he written to her when she’d repeatedly extended her trip?

The conversation around her bubbled and all she thought about was Josh. He occupied her thoughts, and her space, since Vanessa had sat them right next to each other, much to the chagrin of her mother, who sat between Win and Ben. Both of these big men bent toward her, talking a great deal and keeping her occupied.

“When dinner’s over, meet me in the library,” Josh said softly as he handed her the bowl of potatoes. She looked at her still full plate and passed the potatoes to Dawn’s son, Frank, who took them and filled his plate back up.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “My mother…”

“Will be occupied.” Josh turned to her. “Don’t you want to talk to me?”

The hurt look on his face made her toes curl. “Of course I do. But things are different now. If my mother found out she’d spank me, even at my age.”

Josh’s laugh made her smile. “Would you like me to spank you instead? Would that take away your guilt? Please, Sarah, I have to talk to you.”

“Isn’t that right, Sarah?” Her mother’s voice boomed down the table.

Sarah looked down the table. The look on her mother’s face could have started a fire.

“I’m sorry, Mother, what did you say?”

“Your dress for the wedding. It’s just beautiful.”

Sarah nodded and smiled, even though she knew the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yes, Mother, it is.” She coughed slightly and took a drink of her lemonade. She kept the glass near her lips and cut her eyes to Josh.

“Right after dinner’s over?”

“No. Vanessa will take you there, so your mother sees the two of you leave together. She’ll think I’m in the barn, with Corbin.”

Sarah nodded, but remained silent. Josh beamed at her, and then focused on his plate, as if he couldn’t wait for dinner to be over.

Sarah fidgeted with the hanky in her hand. Across the room her mother, Becky, Ruby and Dawn were playing Whist. Her mother seemed to love it. Her back was to the door, but every once in a while she would turn around and see if Sarah was still sitting with Vanessa.

“Just a little while longer,” Vanessa said. “Once the game really gets going she’ll never notice you’re gone.”

“Don’t count on it,” Sarah said. “She doesn’t want me out of her sight. She knows how I feel about Josh.”

Vanessa nodded, and about ten minutes later, she put her hand on Sarah’s hand, placing a free finger to her lips to tell Sarah to remain silent. Sarah looked at the ladies playing cards. They had become loud, and were enjoying themselves very much. Vanessa took Sarah’s hand and silently led her from the drawing room and down the hall.

She opened the door to the library and led Sarah inside, leaving without saying a word. Josh stood and walked toward Sarah, a big smile on his face.

“I missed you so much.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her close and Sarah didn’t fight him. He smelled of the store, like he always did, of honey and the candy that he sold.

“Josh. I missed you too, why didn’t you…” Her words turned into a moan as his lips claimed hers. She melted into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck in an effort to blend into his body.

“Josh.” She whispered the word against his lips. “We shouldn’t do this. I haven’t even let Ernest kiss me.”

“You’d better not,” Josh said with a laugh. “These lips belong to me. I love you, Sarah. You can’t marry that man.”

“I don’t have a choice. My father would be embarrassed, and who knows what it would do to him at his work place. Josh, if you had said something earlier, then maybe…”

“No maybes. I love you, Sarah. Tell me you don’t love me.”

She stared at him, the words on the tip of her tongue. She had to tell him that, for her father’s sake. It would be the only way for Josh to realize that she couldn’t marry him. Couldn’t love him.

She swallowed hard as she stared into his eyes. She knew what she had to say, but the words wouldn’t come. “I love you, too. But…”

“No buts.” He put his finger on her lips to shush her. “We’ll run away together. Tonight. We’ll go to Denver and get married. It was Ben’s idea.”

She put her head on his chest, leaning into him. His arms felt so wonderful around her. It felt so right, so perfect.

“We can’t. Josh what’s done is done. I can’t go against my father’s wishes. Besides, he’d find us and make us get an annulment. And then what? I’d still end up married to Ernest, but my family would be shamed.”

Josh took her hand and led her toward the couch. “You need to come and work with me at the store until we figure a way out of this. Come tomorrow.”

“My mother won’t let me.” They sat down and he kissed her again, his hand cupping her cheek. His lips took her breath away. She wanted to climb onto him and smother him with kisses.

“Well, we’ve figured out a way out of that dilemma, too. Ruby’s going to talk to her tonight. By the time she and Vanessa are done your mother will think it was her idea for you to work at the store until I can find a replacement.”

“You don’t know my mother.”

“But you know my sisters-in-law. They’re stubborn, and they will get the job done. You’ll see.”

“Well, they are stubborn. Still, I don’t see how.”

“Just sit back and watch. Sarah, if I can make your father break the engagement, will you marry me?”

“Yes. Oh, Joshua, yes.” She threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him close, then pushed away suddenly.

“But, Josh, you have to make sure that my father is not embarrassed in any way. You must promise me.”

“I promise. And you must promise to do exactly as I say, no matter how awful you think it is.”

“What do you mean? Are you talking about…?” She put her hands to her chest and pulled back.

“Sarah, you know me better than that. No, we won’t make love until after we’re married. But if I say you have to find a way out of your aunt’s house at night, to stir the waters so to speak, then you need to do it. Understand?”

Sarah studied him, her hesitation clear on her face.

“Sarah?”

“But Josh, what if…”

“There are no what ifs, Sarah. You must trust me and do as I say, understand?”

She nodded. She trusted Josh with her life, but the idea of doing exactly as he said, with no questions asked, made her nervous.

“I must warn you that if you break your word on this you will be punished. If you want to be with me, Sarah, you must let me take the lead.”

“All right, Josh. You’re in charge. Please make it to where we can be together.”

“It’s as good as done, my love.”

He captured her face between his hands and lifted her lips to his, capturing them in a fiery kiss, pushing his tongue into her mouth as Sarah’s head swirled with pleasure.

She’d never known something could feel so wonderful, or make her feel so complete.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“I love you, too. Now go before your mother realizes you’re gone.”

Sarah’s lips still burned from the last kiss Josh had given her. When she came back into the parlor she was surprised to see that her mother was still happily ensconced in her Whist game. She hadn’t noticed that Sarah had even left the room.

She sat down on the couch next to Vanessa, who handed her a glass of lemonade.

“Drink, quickly.”

“Why?”

“Maybe it will take that just kissed look off your lips.” The older woman grinned at her as Sarah drank from the lemonade glass. Then she touched her lips, which felt puffy. They also felt delicious, almost as if she could still feel Josh’s lips upon them.

“Thank you, Vanessa.”

“You’re welcome, little sister. It will be nice to have you in the family.”

“Hopefully.” Sarah swallowed another drink. “I hope that Josh has a plan.”

“Trust me, the MacAllister brothers always have a plan.”

They both turned their heads toward the Whist table when Ruby gave a little cry of dismay. They hurried over but Mrs. McKay was already holding the young woman’s hands.

“I’m all right,” Ruby said, taking deep breaths. “It’s just been so hard lately, working at the store while Sarah was gone.”

Sarah’s eyes widened as her mother’s shocked face turned toward her. “She’s been working in your place? But she’s with child.”

“It’s not Sarah’s fault,” Ruby said with a sigh. “Josh can’t do it alone and well, when she didn’t come back right away, someone had to help him.”

Mrs. McKay turned back to Ruby, and when she did, Vanessa elbowed Sarah and gave her a ‘say something’, look.

“Um, I’ll work tomorrow, Ruby. You won’t have to.”

“Nonsense,” Mrs. McKay said. “You’re not to center on anything but packing your bags and saying goodbye to your friends. We’re leaving in a few days.”

“I’m sorry, Mother, but if Ruby is feeling pains because she’s working at the store, then I won’t allow it. It could hurt the baby. I’ll work with Josh until he can find a replacement.”

“No.” Her mother’s voice was firm. “Sarah, don’t…”

“That’s wonderful,” Ruby said, faking another pain as she winked at Sarah over Mrs. McKay’s shoulder “It will be so helpful, Sarah. I don’t know how I can thank you.”

“I agree,” Dawn said. “You’re wonderful, Sarah. Josh won’t even have to train you.”

Mrs. McKay whirled toward Dawn. “What about you? Why can’t you do it?”

“Barbara calm down,” Becky said. “Dawn just had a baby a little while ago. Besides, they live outside of town and it would be ridiculous to think she should come back and forth every day while Sarah is here to help. Sarah, you’re a good person to offer.”

“Thank you, Aunt Becky.” Sarah cast her gaze down, lifting it back up when she felt her mother’s angry glare on her.

“We’ll discuss this at home,” she whispered. Seconds later, she cleared her throat. “It’s time for us to go. It’s getting late.”

“Nonsense,” Vanessa said. “You haven’t even had dessert yet.”

“Thank you, but no.” Mrs. McKay’s voice was firm. “We have a great deal of things that we need to take care of, especially if Sarah is expected to give in to your demands.”

“I’m not expected to do anything, Mother,” Sarah said, making sure her voice sounded firm. “Ruby is my friend and I won’t endanger her baby, nor will I put Josh in a bind by leaving him alone. It’s been hard enough with me leaving him here for the last seven months.”

Her mother wheeled on her, anger written all over her face. Sarah wanted to tell her that she was sorry, that she would take back her offer to work. The idea flew through her mind as soon as it appeared. Making her mother angry was worth being able to spend the day with Josh, even if it was just for one day, or until her mother forced her to go back to St. Louis.

Which Sarah knew would be as soon as she could, given the turn of events tonight. Her mother knew how she felt about Josh, and she was doing everything in her power to keep the two of them apart.

Sarah bit her lip, and then looked at her Aunt Becky. Her aunt, a childless widow who was twelve years younger than her sister, was shooting daggers at Mrs. McKay’s head.

“We should go,” her mother said.

“Ben and I’ll get the carriage,” Josh said.

Sarah thought her mother would say that she would rather Josh not drive them back to town, but it soon became apparent that she had no other choice. She nodded briskly, then stormed toward the front door.

Becky came up behind Sarah and hugged her swiftly. “Don’t worry, I can control your mother. To a point. You need to stand up for yourself so that you can spend time with Josh and find a way out of this mess you two are in.”

She hurried after her sister and Sarah stared after her. It looked like she had just found a new ally.

The next morning, Sarah felt as if she were on top of the world. She and her mother had had a heated discussion when they’d returned to Becky’s house after dinner. Her mother had accused her of wanting to back out of the engagement, or causing embarrassment to the family by working.

Sarah had assured her, even as she’d crossed her fingers behind her back and prayed to God for forgiveness for lying, that she didn’t want to break off anything. That all she wanted to do was help Josh, because he had been so good to her the last few years.

Her mother had looked doubtful, but when Becky said that Sarah would look bad in town if she let a pregnant woman work in the store when she could do it herself, Barbara had given in. Sarah knew that her mother didn’t want people to look unfavorably on them, even if it was in the small town of Mac’s Crossing.

She bathed quickly, then put on a beautiful blue dress that she knew Josh loved. She did her hair so that it was curly, but not hanging down so it didn’t get in the way during the workday. Then she stepped into the living room and the bottom dropped out of her stomach.

Her mother sat in a chair next to the door, dressed as if ready to go out.

“Hurry and eat your breakfast,” she said. “Then we’ll leave.”

“We?”

“Certainly. You don’t think I’m going to allow you to spend all day at the store with an unmarried man, do you? I’ll chaperone you all day.”

“Mother, I don’t need a chaperone. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I? Well, you don’t go without me; I don’t care what you say, or what Becky says. I’m in charge here.”

Sarah went to the kitchen where Becky sat with coffee and oatmeal.

“Your mother’s being a fool,” she said. “But you and Josh set up this horrible situation on your own. Like I said I’ll help as much as possible, but she won’t budge from wanting to go with you. I just don’t know what Josh will say when he sees her.”

Sarah sighed heavily. “Me neither.”

Josh gripped the box in his hand and plastered a smile on his face. Mrs. McKay was giving him more advice on how he could make the store more profitable, on how things could be rearranged to make them more accessible to customers and therefore make people buy more.

“The material should be toward the front of the store, where it’s easier for the ladies to find,” she said, slapping her hand on a bolt of fabric. “Really, Joshua, why didn’t you think of that?”

He opened his mouth, and then closed it again when Sarah spoke up.

“It’s at the back of the store for a reason, Mother. Material sells well. If customers have to walk past things to get to it they’re more likely to pick up a few things they hadn’t thought about before.”

Josh’s heart swelled at Sarah’s words. He’d taught her well during the years that she’d worked for him. He just wished he’d taught himself to act on things instead of ignoring them, or more pointedly, ignoring her.

When she’d shown up this morning he’d contemplating taking her in the back room and kissing her until she was out of air, letting her refill and then kissing her again and again and again. Then he saw her mother standing behind her and his stomach had cratered, especially when she announced that she would be here all day, and every day, until he could find a proper replacement for Sarah.

He’d planned on closing the store at noon, so that he could have some time alone with Sarah and discuss the plan that he and Ben had come up with the night before, but with her mother here that wouldn’t work.

When lunchtime came around, Becky walked through the door with a large hamper of food.

“Nourishment for the workers,” she said with a smile. “My goodness, Barbara, you look peaked. Your cheeks are all flushed.”

Mrs. McKay put her hands to her cheeks, and then rushed to a mirror. “I do look red. Very red. Oh my goodness. Well, we’ll have to go to the house so I can rest. Get your coat, Sarah.”

“Mother, I can’t leave during the middle of the day. Josh will need me. You saw how things were this morning.” For the first time that day, Sarah was happy that they’d been busy most of the morning.

Her mother whirled on her. “You can’t expect me to stay here if I’m getting ill. Think of someone besides yourself for once.”

Sarah was happy to see Becky put her hand on Josh’s arm to try and calm him down.

“You go to the house, Barbara. I’ll stay with Sarah this afternoon.” Becky went and patted her sister on the back. “Take a nap. Maybe the trip here wore you out.”

“Yes. I think you’re right. As long as you don’t mind staying, I think I will go to the house and lie down. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Sarah stepped toward her mother. “Don’t you want to eat, first?”

“No. I’ll eat later in the afternoon.” She took her coat and left quickly.

When she was gone, Becky put the hamper on the counter. “You know, Josh, the Beaton house is empty, just down the way a bit. Nice and quiet for a picnic lunch. And you won’t even have to pay me for watching the store.”

“How is it that your aunt is so sweet, and your mother can be such a beast?”

Josh pushed the door open to the Beaton house and helped Sarah inside.

“I thought it would be dusty,” she said in an effort to avoid the question. “I think…”

Josh dropped the hamper on the table and pulled her into his arms. She groaned as his lips claimed hers, his tongue invading her mouth.

“That feels so wonderful,” she whispered against his mouth when he let her come up for air.

“Yes, it does,” he said, raining soft kisses across her cheek. “And I think Becky was here cleaning before she came to see us. I think she wanted us to have this time together.”

Josh spread out a blanket that he’d brought from the store and Sarah unpacked the food that Becky had brought for them. Some meat, bread and carrots.

When it was all unpacked, Sarah turned to Josh.

“Tell me you have a plan.”

“I’ve got one. Ben and I cooked it up last night. We need to make Ernest break the engagement. That way your family is not embarrassed in any way.”

“I don’t know about that. Somehow, my father would find a way to blame me if he breaks the engagement. He would say that I caused it.”

“Besides, Ernest is in St. Louis. How will he break our engagement?”

“Well, when he gets here, I’ll talk to him about it.”

Sarah sopped chewing her bread and stared at Josh. She swallowed hard and then said, “When he gets here?”

“That’s right. I sent him a telegram last night. He should have it by now.”

“And what did it say?”

“That I wanted to challenge his right to your affections. That you and I love each other, and that he and I needed to talk. In person.”

“Why did you do that? My father will telegram my mother, and she will put me on the next train to St. Louis.”

“She would. If she received your father’s telegram,” Josh said. “You forget who runs that business in town.”

“When he doesn’t get an answer, Ernest will come here.” Josh took another bite of his food. “What sort of man is he?”

Sarah tried to still her shaking hands. She put down the bread she was holding and cleared her throat.

“He’s very nice. Not mean or anything like that, just sort of meek, actually.”

“Good. I don’t intend to challenge him to a duel or anything like that. But he needs to know your feelings, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I do. But sending that message was a mistake. We should have…”

“We should have what, Sarah? Hidden our feelings?”

“Well it’s not like you’ve shouted your feelings from the rooftops before now! If you had just said something! How was I to know how you felt?”

Josh sat down his food and rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes.

“You’re right. You’re right. I should have told you. But I didn’t. Now I’m doing something about it. I’m making a stand for the woman that I love. I thought you were willing to make that stand with me. Last night you said you were. You said you’d follow me and allow me to lead us through this. Have you changed your mind?”

“No. I love you, you know that. But telling Ernest? He’ll tell my father! And when my father finds out they’ll both come out here and then, well, things will get rather difficult.”

Sarah could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

“Sooner or later your father would have found out anyway, Sarah. At some point the engagement has to be broken, and your family has to find out we’re in love with each other. It’s best to do it quickly. The sooner Ernest is out of the way, the sooner you and I can be married. We’ll be together for the rest of our lives.”

Sarah’s smile brightened and she let out a soft giggle. Then, her smile faded.

“My father will be angry.”

“What’s more important? Your angry father, or our love?”

Sarah stared at him, her frown turning into a smile instantly. “Our love. That’s all that matters, Josh. I know I’m nervous about breaking the deal my father has made, but I don’t want Ernest. I want you.”

“Then you must trust me. I told you that last night, did I not?”

“Yes. I’m just a little frightened.”

His smile made her insides quake. “Last night I agreed to let you lead me in this. And on the first chance I had, I let you down. I’m so sorry, Joshua.”

“It’s all right, my love. This is still new to us, even though we’ve known each other for years. We’re a pair now. Our hearts are together in love.” His voice was deep and it sent a shiver through her body that she’d never felt before.

“Last night you said that.” She stopped speaking and gathered material from her skirt in her hands, worrying it. “Are you going to punish me?”

“Yes, Sarah, I am. I’m going to spank you. Right now.”