CHAPTER 5
DELLA
My life has returned to normal, which means things have been pretty uneventful. Since the guys fixed my truck, I’ve only seen Rhett a couple of times when he’d come into the diner. I didn’t go to the party and luckily no one asked why. I haven’t seen Carter since the kiss which has also been a bonus.
I know he did it only for show, but my mind keeps playing tricks on me. The kiss felt so real. Honestly, I’ve never been kissed like that.
But the thought of the kiss turns sour when I remember his words.
I smell like shit. I taste like shit.
He’s made it pretty clear what he thinks of me. Not like it really matters. For a stupid second, I lost sight of my goals. Never again.
Went I went to visit Jamie, Sue didn’t look well. She kept coughing horribly. She blamed it on the flu, but I could see the worry in Jamie’s eyes. When I asked Jamie how long Sue had been sick for, she said weeks. It feels like I’m running out of time. If something happens to Sue, I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t bring Jamie here, which means I’ll have to move back to Saluda and commute back here for my exams. The gas money alone will eat up most of my savings.
I need to focus all my energy on my studies. Exams are starting next week. I just have to get through the next few weeks. Everything will be okay. It just has to be.
I ready all the study materials for my first exam, then quickly run to the kitchen. I grab two bottles of water and an apple. On the way back to my room, the front door opens. Willow, Leigh, and Evie all laugh as they come in. The three of them have been spending a lot of time together. Evie tried to include me, but I had to decline. Between working extra hours and studying my ass off, I hardly have time to eat.
When the guys follow the girls inside, I rush into my room and kick my door closed.
I place the bottles and apple at the foot of my bed, then sit down in front of my books and laptop, crossing my legs.
I do my best to block out the voices and laughter, and to focus on the words in front of me.
A knock on my door, makes me sigh miserably. I don’t have time for any of them.
“Della,” Rhett calls from the other side of the door. My shoulders slump in defeat. I really wanted to get a full night of studying in.
There’s a series of knocks, each followed by, “Della.” Knock. “Della.” Knock. “Let me in, Della. You know you want to. You can only resist my charm for so long. Give in, babe. Admit you’re dying to see me.”
I start to laugh at his silliness. Crawling off the bed, I go to open the door. Rhett has a huge smile plastered all over his face.
He wags his eyebrows at me. “Love the shorts and socks, babe. The look totally suits you.”
I glance down at my clothes. I’m wearing a white, long-sleeve shirt, pink striped shorts, and socks that reach to my knees.
“It’s comfy,” I retort.
“How are you doing, babe?” There’s a sincere look in his eyes, which draws a smile to my face.
“I’m good. I just have a lot of studying to do. Exams start next week.”
He leans in, giving me a hug. It feels so good to be held by someone that I close my eyes to absorb the moment. Sometimes I forget how much I miss touching another human.
I’m just about to shut the door behind Rhett, when Carter slams his hand against it. The warm feeling I have from talking with Rhett turns icy when my eyes meet Carter’s.
I try to shove the door closed, but he only moves closer and blocks me with his body. In a hurry to get away from him, I let go of the door and walk over to my bed. I sit down in front of my books and force my eyes to focus on the words.
I hear the door close, but before I can let out a sigh of relief, I hear him move.
Shit!
I steel myself for the fight and glare up at him. “You can leave the same way you entered.”
A smile tugs at his lips, drawing my attention to them. It makes me remember what it felt like to have his mouth on mine. Hell, heaven has nothing on that kiss. It was pure euphoria. His kiss had the power to wipe out everything around me, my past, my problems, my uncertain future, and even my dreams. It transported me to a world I didn’t even know existed.
Of course, it turned to shit the second he opened his mouth.
Suddenly, he says, “You look like shit.”
My mouth actually drops open. I shouldn’t be surprised or hurt. But I can’t help feel the stab of rejection, the pain of being overlooked as a human being. When someone treats you so harshly, you can’t help but feel like a waste of space.
I swallow the hurt down and grind my teeth as I hiss, “Like your opinion actually matters. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Instead of doing as I asked, he picks up the apple and looks at it with disgust. “This isn’t food,” he snaps.
I frown, thrown by the sudden change of topic.
“You’re a skinny fucking shit, Della. You need to eat more.”
Again, my mouth drops open and I can only stare at him in shock and anger. Unlike him, I can’t afford to eat three square meals a day. I have to save every cent for Jamie.
To my horror, I watch as he pulls his wallet from his back pocket. He takes out a couple of notes and tosses it on the bed.
I start to shake my head, not being able to process what’s busy happening.
Rage washes over me and I dart from the bed. I scoop up the money and shove it hard against his chest.
When he makes no move to take it from me, another wave of rage washes over me wiping out every bit of my self-control.
I grab hold of his belt and shove the money down his pants. That’s the closest my hand has ever been to that part of the male body. I’ll die of embarrassment later. Right now I’m seething.
I shove him away from me and walk back to my bed. My body is shaking with anger as I sit down.
“You’re a self-absorbed jerk,” I snap. Once I’m angry, it takes me forever to calm down. I also don’t think clearly. I lean back against the wall and bring my knees up. Glaring at the asshole, I open my legs wide.
“Is this what you want? For me to spread my legs. Should I look all achy and needy for you?” His eyes drift over my body and it’s hard to miss how they darken. “It will never happen, Carter. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone wants to be on your screwed list.”
He moves so fast, pouncing on me before I can even take a breath.
His hard body presses me into the mattress as his mouth slams into mine. I grab at his hair with the full intention of yanking him away from me, but then his tongue shoves past my lips, driving its way forcefully inside my mouth.
His one arm pushes in behind me and he lifts from the bed, crushing my body to his. He pulls me down and drops his full weight on top of me. Feeling all of him on top of me is incredible.
I feel his hard bulge right between my legs. His teeth and tongue make quick work of any resistance I wanted to put up. My mind clouds over as an aching feeling starts to pulse between my legs.
I’ve never felt like this before. I hate him but I want him. I want to push him away but at the same time, I want him to strip me bare.
I hate myself for wanting him.
***
CARTER
Feeling her lips trembling against mine, her soft body melting into me, and the heat radiating from her pussy, makes me lose my mind.
I want to fuck her out of my system. Since that fucking kiss the other day, I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s poison, slowly spreading through me until there’s more of her than there is of me.
Her hands travel to my shoulders and she starts to push against me. I pull her body further beneath mine, but then she breaks the kiss. She gasps for air as she shoves hard at my shoulders. Stunned, I sit back and watch as she almost falls off the bed in her hurry to get away from me.
“You can’t do that,” she whispers as tears start to spiral over her cheeks. Her flushed face quickly pales and she wraps her arms around her waist.
I have that same sinking feeling I had after our first kiss.
“You can’t just come into my room and practically assault me.”
For a moment I actually feel bad, but then she goes and accuses me of shit once again.
Anger flares up and I take step towards her.
“Rhett!” she screams. She runs for the door, darting right by me. “Rhett!”
The door slams open and she collides with the side of it. I wince knowing it has to hurt. I might not like her but I really don’t want to hurt her. I just wanted to teach her a lesson.
Rhett catches her arm and his worried eyes go from her tear-streaked face to me. He pulls her into his arms and it only makes her cry harder.
“Make him leave,” she sobs.
Anger tightens his features as he makes eye contact with me. He shakes his head and ushers Della out of the room. When I get to the door, all the guys are on their feet.
“What the fuck did you do?” Jaxson asks as he walks towards me.
“I just kissed her,” I spit out. I don’t need this shit. “She’s fucking crazy.”
I stalk out of the apartment, not in the mood for drama.
When I get home, I’ve cooled down a little. Enough to know that I was a fucking asshole to Della. That is twice now that I’ve kissed her without her permission.
Even though she kissed me back, it doesn’t change the fact that I basically forced myself on her.
The front door slams open and Rhett stalks towards me. When he throws a punch, I do nothing to stop him. I deserve it.
His fist connects with my left cheek and my head whips back from the force. Pain shudders through me, but I keep standing, looking him dead in the eye.
“She’s a fucking woman,” he shouts. “You never use your strength against a woman. You’re not fucking stronger to hold them down. You’re stronger to protect them, asshole.”
I nod, knowing he’s right.
“Don’t you fucking do that. You don’t get off so easily,” he hisses.
He shakes his head and it fucking sucks to see the disappointment on his face.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” I say.
“What did she do to you that you hate her so much?” He throws his arms wide.
At first, I don’t plan on answering him, but then the words rush from me. “She’s under my fucking skin. I won’t let her do to me what my mother did to my dad.”
Rhett frowns at me. He takes a step closer to me until we’re eye to eye. “That’s fucked up. She’s not your fucking mother, dude. She’s an innocent woman.”
“I know she’s not my fucking mother,” I shout back. “Believe me, I fucking know.”
“Oh man,” Rhett says as understanding dawns on his face.
I’m glad one of us understands this fucking mess, cause I sure as hell don’t.
“What?”
“You’re not fighting her,” he says, sounding surprised. “You’re fighting yourself for liking her.”
“I don’t like her,” I growl.
Deep down I know I’m talking shit. I do like her and it’s scaring the shit out of me.
“You don’t kiss women you don’t like.” Rhett starts to leave but at the door, he looks back at me from over his shoulder. “The really fucked up part is that she blames herself. She says she enticed you. That she pushed you too hard. You need to make things right with her.”
I just stare at him as he leaves, because he’s right. I owe Della an apology.
It feels like I’m losing my mind and it’s all because of her.
I don’t like her because I like her. How fucked up is that?